


Fire Within

by ThymeSprite



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Emotional Sex, F/M, Fenris Needs a Hug, Love, M/M, Mages, Male Slash, Resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 115,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeSprite/pseuds/ThymeSprite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finlay has hated the life forced upon mages, but he has always tried to find the best opportunities in life - and love.<br/>But never had he thought that a certain elf would be the fulfilment of his dreams...and oh so bloody stubborn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

„Maker!“, Finn growled and glared at the boy in front of him who had just bitten his bloody hand, “That’s it, little bugger, do this shit yourself.”

With that the tall man stormed off to his friend, leaving the boy to rot.

“Finlay…”, Anders said dunning, “Get back there.”

“No way!”, the tall blonde answered with rage, “He hurt his leg? Fine with me. He comes to your little clinic to be healed, still fine. But he biting me while I’m trying to help him is a reason to kick him out, send him flying. Now!”

“No!”, Anders replied harshly and shook his head, “Here, mix the ointment, I’ll take care of him.”

“Whatever floats your boat…”, Finn mumbled and shot the boy an angry glance…and that bugger had the nerve to stick his tongue out. He snarled in rage, but then scoffed and let Anders deal with him.

A few minutes later, the boy was all fine again and Anders plopped down onto a pallet right next to Finn who said with a crooked grin: “You do know that this idiot you just patched up is out there, doing errands for the Coterie? And that he’ll be back in two days? Tops. Just like last week? And the week before?”

“Yes…”, his friend mumbled tiredly and hid his face in his hands before he looked up at Finn and asked: “Is the ointment ready?”

“In a second.”, Finn replied. Maker, how he hated medicine, healing and all those little preparations Anders had always loved so much.

“Let me see our last guest for tonight off, will ya?”, he offered and Anders was about to interrupt, but Finn had already turned around. He loved to hand this guy his ointments.

“There we go, Messere.”, he said overly cheerful and bothering him on purpose, “Put it onto all the spots that are red and itchy. Well, you know the deal.”

Smiling brightly, he handed the little pot over to Seneschal Bran, one of the richer patients they had here.

“Thank you.”, the man spoke through gritted teeth, but Finn smiled nonetheless and waved good bye. As Bran had left the clinic, Finn burst out into laughter: “Will that idiot ever learn to keep his hands off the whores in the Rose?”

“Shush!”, Anders sternly told him, “He is a good patient.”

Finn scoffed: “You only say that because he pays you for your ointments.”

As a response Anders grinned: “Indeed. And quite generously so.”

Now the two smiled at each other for a moment, but then Finn said: “So? Let me tease him a bit. We may need his donations to run the clinic, but you know he ain’t gonna go to any other healer in the whole stinking pit that is Kirkwall. He’d lose face if he did. And if he sold us out to the tinmen, we’d make sure that everyone in this city knows of his proclivity for floosies of the Rose, so he won’t.”

“Still no reason to risk losing his affiance.”, Anders told him off, but Finn only snorted and accused him with a grin: “You’re no fun since you left Kinloch hold.”

“And you were wiser once…”, the healer replied while sorting through his stored ingredients, not even looking at him, so Finn chuckled and said: “You really think so? My friend, you’re overworked if you don’t even remember me properly.”

Anders chuckled, but Finn kept teasing, “No, honestly, you’re overworked…and underfucked.”

“Finn!”, Anders hissed at him which made him laugh for a moment, but then he said: “What? I remember you directing these very words at a templar at the age of sweet fourteen. And not any templar, no, Knight-Commander Greagoir, no less.”

Anders rolled his eyes, but that did not stop Finn: “So, there’s gotta be a girl for you. Or a guy, why not? What about Isabela, that pirate girl you told me about? Or Hawke?”

“No.”, Anders quickly said and this made Finn raise an eyebrow in a question he then asked: “Do you mean “no” as in “no way I’m gonna fuck one of them” or as in “don’t tell me what I already know I wanna do”, hmm?”

“Finlay!”, Anders snapped and Finn raised his hands in defence, backing down with a grin: “Alright, alright, don’t scorch me, Justice, I am already oh so afraid of you!”

Anders sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling curses under his breath. But to be honest, Finn was bored. So he plopped down onto the makeshift bed his friend from way back was sitting on and after this had startled him, he said: “But really, can you introduce me to Hawke or that pirate girl?”

Anders grimaced and shook his head, so Finn groaned: “Anders! The last time I got laid was…I don’t even remember! Which is far too long! My loins won’t take that nonsense for much longer. So if you don’t want me to ravish you in the middle of the night, I have to get out of here and find someone to spend time with, if you get my drift.”

“You’re free to go wherever you like.”, Anders replied and Finn laid back, rested his back against the wall and pouted: “Yeah…but where should I go? Maker’s balls…I didn’t flee the Circle to rot down here.”

“Welcome to my life.”, Anders grinned bitterly and the two of them exchanged glances before they laughed. But then Finn scratched his chin covered in his blonde beard and muttered: “Seriously, Anders, we have to do something. Those tinmen have always been stupid, but right now, they’re getting brazen. They’re not just abusive assholes anymore, their degree of bitchiness is through the roof of the Gallows. I’m actually surprised the Maker hasn’t seen it himself by now and struck them with lightning or such shit…Well if He ever cared for us mages at all.”

He grinned, but in fact, Finn was worried. Their situation was getting more and more gloomy.

“What about your Champion of Kirkwall?”, he asked abruptly and looked at Anders who scolded: “Hawke’s not my Champion.”

“If you say so…”, Finn shrugged merrily and added, “But taking everything together this Champion has already done, why not add “free all mages of entire Thedas” to the list?”

“Believe me, I’m trying…”, came the response in a deep sigh, “But if I don’t succeed in convincing Hawke, I need another plan.”

“We need another plan.”, Finn corrected, “And I think you’re already hatching one in that sick little mind of yours.”

“Sick?”, Anders indignantly asked and Finn laughed: “Hey, with all the crazy things you once came up with in bed the whole Tower was convinced you’re disturbed.”

Anders snorted which only made his friend grin wider. That was until the door to the clinic opened unexpectedly.

They both jumped to their feet, ready to fight, especially Finn as he hated healing spells, but Force and Fire was his. As soon as four armoured peopled entered the room, Anders’s stance fell and he whispered in concern: “Hawke…is everything alright?”

So this was Hawke…? Finn curiously raised an eyebrow and watched.


	2. Chapter 2

Upon seeing Hawke for the very first time, Finn had no problem whatsoever to see why Anders appreciated this woman so much. She was gorgeous! And the fact that she was caked in dirt and clotted blood did not change this fact one bit.

“I’m alright, Anders, don’t worry.”, she said reassuringly, while stepping towards the healer, an elf leaning against her shoulder heavily, but clearly reluctantly. He was good-looking too, Finn noticed, but Maker, he was in a bad state. He caught a glance of the elf’s face and saw the silvery markings at his chin. He also felt the slight humming of power that only Lyrium held, so this had to be Fenris. And Hawke quickly confirmed his assumption: “But Fenris is badly wounded.”

“I am fine.”, the elf spoke through gritted teeth and Anders only rolled his eyes as did Finn. Hawke shook her head, but stayed silent, in sharp contrast to the elven girl that was with them, she almost shrieked: “But Fenris, blood is dripping from you, from…everywhere!”

“Sit down.”, Hawke ordered the elven warrior and very reluctantly, he did as he was told. Within an instant, Anders was with him and Finn blinked in disbelief. Had Anders not told him that Fenris hated mages more than anything? Had cursed him, threatened him all over the place? And still Anders was there, kneeling beside the elf and trying to coerce him into allowing him to heal his wounds. Bad wounds indeed, he did ruin the clinic’s already dirty floor with his blood.

“Stop it!”, Anders snapped at Fenris in this very moment, “I cannot heal you if you won’t let me.”

“Your assistance is neither needed nor wanted.”, Fenris growled and Finn could not help it, he said: “Charming.”

All eyes were on him then and he shrugged: “Well, if Mister Grump doesn’t wanna be healed and instead die from a festering wound…I’d say we give him the pleasure.”

The elven girl, Merrill, if Finn was not mistaken, turned pale and the dark haired man he only now realised tried to calm her down, but both Hawke and Fenris shot him an angry glance.

“And who might you be?”, the elf then asked and so he bowed theatrically and said: “You may call me Finn. If you live long enough so we can meet again.”

After these words, an enraged glare hit him out of the greenest eyes he had ever seen. Finn had no other words for this colour than “insanely beautiful”, but he shut his mouth and turned to Hawke: “Same goes to you, milady, but I do hope that we meet again.”

She slightly brushed fair blond hair out f her face and he had to grin as he saw her irritated look…and Anders’ annoyed glance as well as Fenris’ and the other man’s. Wow, someone had a whole bunch of body guards here.

Hawke’s icy blue eyes left him again and as much coldness she had shown Finn right now, there was warmth when she looked at Fenris and Anders and said to the warrior: “Please, Fenris, do not be stubborn far beyond reason. Your wounds would heal undoubtedly, but Finn is right, if you do not allow Anders to see to it, especially the burn on your arm is likely to fester.”

Fenris looked at her clearly annoyed, but then nodded harshly. Anders was surprised and inspected the wound, while Finn inspected their guests. Especially Hawke and that elf were very interesting, but he kept his mouth shut. At least until Anders called to him: “Finn, this will need us both.”

“Alright…”, he mumbled and went over to Fenris, but the elf glared at him and simply stated: “No.”

“No?”, he echoed in disbelief, “Didn’t you listen, idiot? If this isn’t treated, you’re gonna lose your bloody arm!”

“No.”, Fenris repeated, and Hawke sighed deeply before saying: “Fenris, please, this is blood loss talking. You know that Anders never betrayed us even against your accusations.”

Finn raised an eyebrow at this, because firstly, Anders had not told him any of this and secondly, the way his friend now averted his eyes spoke volumes. He planned something…and Hawke would deem it betrayal, he was sure. But he was snapped out of his dire thoughts as Hawke added: “So, knowing this, why should Anders’ friend betray us now?”

Fenris clearly thought of a retort, but Finn could see him turn more and more pale by the second and there was already sweat on his forehead. He would collapse soon. The elf nodded again and so the two of them started their healing magic. Finn did not like this particular school of magic, but together they managed to close his wounds. As soon as they broke the magical connection, Fenris jumped to his feet and stormed off to the other end of the clinic.

“A simple “thanks” wouldn’t kill you, would it now?”, Finn asked and all he got was another angry glance he answered with a cheerful grin. It was hilarious to see the following irritation on the elf’s face.

“How did that happen?”, Anders asked and so Finn looked to Hawke as he was interested in the answer as well. She took a deep breath to elaborate, but was cut off by the dark-haired man in her company: “Fenris had the sudden urge to throw himself in front of my sister!”

“Aha…”, Anders hummed silently and looked over to Fenris, who acted as if he was not listening, but even Finn knew better.

“We were looking for mages who had fled the Gallows…”, Hawke began, but now it was Finn who cut her off, “Why?!”

Anders had turned pale as she had said that and wanted to know as well: “Why, Marie, why?”

“Anders, this is not what it looks like.”, Hawke stated and signalised her brother to stay back as he reached her side, determined to protect her like the city-guard his armour proved him to be and Finn scoffed nevertheless: “This sentence usually means that it is exactly what it looks like!”

An icy glare was shot at him, but he only returned it out of grey eyes. Hawke pressed her lips together and then explained: “Meredith asked us to look for some mages who have escaped as some of the phylacteries were destroyed.”

Fin knew very well that this incident had occurred two weeks ago, after all he had been the one to destroy every single magical slave-leash he had found. After this, he too had used this opportunity to finally flee as well.

“And you help her?”, Anders whispered in shock, trembling with frustration, Finn with rage as Hawke put one hand on the healer’s shoulder and answered: “Only to find the mages before the Templars do!”

Anders sighed in relief and Hawke smiled at him, slightly brushing her fingers over his bearded cheek to make him look at her before she asked: “Who do you think I am?”

“Sorry…”, Anders whispered, but this only broadened her smile for a second. Then she took a step back and with a serious expression she explained: “So we were searching for them here in Darktown, but we could not find them. Instead, we found a group of blood mages and one of them summoned a Rage Demon that wounded Fenris. That is why we came to you.”

Anders nodded and then raised his hand half way to her face covered in blood before stating: “You are wounded, too.”

“Bruises, nothing more.”, Hawke answered and shun Anders’ touch which left obvious disappointment on his face. Wow, he did have it bad for her. Not that Finn could blame him…

“Thank you for your help.”, Hawke said and then turned to those she had come into the clinic with, “Are you ready? Then we will make way again!”

They all nodded and Finn watched them, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“What brings the Champion, a former Tevinter slave, a Dalish and a man of the guard to Darktown in ordinary of that old hag Meredith?”, he mumbled to himself when from outside the clinic an explosion was heard.


	3. Chapter 3

Within an instant, all of them had left the clinic and stared at the scene they now witnessed. Templars, bloody templars everywhere and they were circling in on a group of kids, one of them defending the others with nothing more than a dagger in hand. The tinmen were all in full armour and had swords.

“Bloody bastards!”, Finn called out to them, “Still not brave enough to take on someone your size?!”

With that he did not hesitate any longer and threw a fireball directly into the face of the Templar closest to the kids, hitting him square. The guard beside him cursed under his breath, but then he and his sister Hawke dashed forward like one person, he equipped with a vicious broad sword, Hawke with sword and shield. Right behind them, Fenris charged and for a moment, Finn did not believe what his eyes saw. The elf was glowing.

He braced himself with a harsh shaking of his head as Anders had already told him about this ability of Fenris’, but he had not believed it. Back in the fight, he conjured the next spell, crushing one of the Templars in a prison of pure magical energy. He saw Anders buff the groups’ actions up and Merrill was now standing right next to Finn, fiercely throwing one spell after the other. He almost pitied the Templars…almost.

So he just did not grant them any rest, but instead let them slip on icy surfaces appearing beneath their feet, roasted them with fireballs. One of the tinmen approached Fenris from an angle the elf obviously could not see, so he pushed the Templar away with a brutal blow of magical force before simply crushing him with his magic. This was the last Templar and everyone was now watching him how he drained that bastard from even the last drop of his blood. Brilliant.

“What?”, Finn asked indignantly, “He deserved it!”

Merrill watched him out of widened eyes and so he explained: “Hunting down children? That’s not bravery where I was raised. And that was in the Circle, mind you!”

She winced and Finn mumbled: “Sorry, sweetie.”

The girl nodded and so he looked over to Hawke who asked the kids they had just defended: “What happened here?”

“Mistress Hawke, Messere, we didn’t do nothing!”, one of them shrieked and nervously looked to her brother, obviously put on edge by the fact that a guard was present. Rightfully so, as Finn discovered, as Hawke’s brother said: “Owning explosives isn’t nothing, lad.”

The boy ducked his head, but Hawke reassured him: “Do not worry, you are not under arrest. But get rid of these explosives and find shelter.”

They all nodded and her brother started to protest, but she cut him off in a very friendly way: “Please, Carver, they were just trying to defend themselves.”

“And you robbed them of the only chance they had!”, Finn accused her and again, three men shot him angry glances, Carver, Anders and Fenris, but Hawke did not need them, as she did this quite well herself. She ran over to him and said: “I did? Well, I just don’t wish to see them in the clinic with their arms ripped off by an explosion they had caused themselves!”

Finn took a deep breath to retort something, but then shut his mouth and mumbled: “Right, point taken.”

“Good.”, Hawke smiled at him and did not seem pissed off in the slightest. He liked that woman more and more with every second. Fenris on the contrary was pissed off, he could clearly see this, but he could not care less, he turned to Anders and also addressed Hawke: “You all saw this, they aren’t just abusive assholes anymore, they are downright maniacs by now! We’ve got to do something to stop this!”

“And what do you suggest?”, Fenris growled, “Free all mages?”

“Would be a good start.”, Finn retorted, but the elf scoffed: “Then you would free all the blood mages along with them!”

“Yeah, bummer.”, Finn shrugged, “Better than enslaving all of us because of a few.”

“Blood mages cannot be allowed to roam freely.”, Fenris stated and Finn already rolled his eyes as the elf added, “There is no telling when they will snap. The witch here is the best example. She will turn into an abomination.”

“No!”, Merrill protested with sudden tears in her eyes, “I told you, I had no choice…”

Fenris shut her off with an angry glare that made her almost hide behind Carver who seemed again very eager to protect. But it was Hawke’s soft words that made Merrill look up again: “There is always a choice, Merrill, but you made the best of yours.”

“Ma serannas, lethallan.”, the elven girl whispered and as Fenris glared at Hawke for this, she told him: “Blood magic is dangerous, I agree, but it depends on the mage. You should know this by now, Fenris.”

“It is too dangerous, Hawke.”, the elf replied and anger boiled within Finn as he had heard this damn excuse so very often in the time he had had to spend in the Gallows. The potential danger of mages had sanctified so much that was uncondonable, he had seen Tranquil only because of the fact that their magic had posed a potential danger. So, full of rage, he snapped at Fenris: “I’m sure there are some elves who deserve being put on a leash and beaten up every day. Just think how dangerous that sword of yours could be.”

Fenris’ eyes narrowed at him and the elf stomped over to him, boring his gaze in Finn’s. Their faces were only inches apart and although Finn was at least a head’s length taller than Fenris, he felt impressed. But that certainly did not mean that he would back down!

The elf growled deep within his chest and Finn grinned widely as he whispered: “Never seen mages as slaves of the Chantry, eh?”

He knew that it was mean to use his knowledge of his past as a slave against Fenris, but heck, that stubborn bastard deserved a little teasing.

“No, because they are no slaves. Mages are dangerous.”, Fenris answered and Finn threw his hands in the air, groaning: “Maker’s balls, when Anders told me you were so unbelievably stubborn, I didn’t believe him! But you are!”

He heard someone chuckle and looked over to see Anders and Carver exchange amused gazes, even Hawke seemed as if she was fighting a smile. Finn only glared at his friend, but then burst into laughter as he saw that Fenris did the same with Hawke.

Laughing out loudly, he told the elf: “Honestly, we could be friends!”

“I do not think so.”, Fenris retorted dryly, but sternly and Finn only shrugged this off. Well then, he would find other friends. Hawke eyed him up from top to toe, which meant she was examining a little less than two metres of an Anders mage before she said: “You are quite skilled.”

“I am.”, Finn replied with confidence and then teased her: “But my magic isn’t’ too shabby, either.”

“Finlay.”, Anders growled and Hawke wrinkled her nose, but Carver grinned. And Merrill asked: “Did I miss something, something dirty? Again?!”

“Nothing worth to be heard!”, Fenris told her, but Finn shot at him: “You’re only saying this because you haven’t experienced my other skills. Otherwise, you’d talk differently.”

He cheerfully winked at Fenris and basked in the irritation this gesture provoked. As the elf obviously understood the innuendo, he frowned deeply and his tanned face grew red with anger. Or could it be something else?, Finn thought to himself in amusement.

Hawke cleared her throat and as he looked at her, she said: “I meant that you are quite skilled with your magic.”

Finn pouted theatrically as if she had insulted him and Anders hid his face behind his hand whereas Carver fought hard to restrain a chuckle.

“We could use another powerful mage on our journeys.”, Hawke stated and for a moment, Finn was taken aback…she offered him a way out. Danger as well, but mostly a way out. He blinked at her in joyous disbelief, but then brushed this off so as not to lose his face and said: “You, milady, have permission to use me in the cold dark night to warm up in any way you like.”

It was hilarious to watch Hawke blush, but now her brother could not hold back his laughter anymore and with a grin he said: “You will regret this request, sister.”

“Maybe.”, she dryly replied, but then addressed Finn: “So, what do you say?”

“No.”, Fenris chimed in and Finn bickered: “I didn’t know Marie asked for your opinion.”

The elf shot him an angry glance and then stated: “Hawke, he is too dangerous.”

“You don’t even know me!”, Finn shouted and Fenris replied: “I have seen more than enough of you.”

“Already?”, he retorted and fluttered his eyelashes at him, again enjoying the confused look he won with this action.

“Hawke, I can accompany you.”, Anders offered and she smiled warmly, but denied: “No, Anders, you are practically falling asleep on your feet. If Finn helps us out, you can fully concentrate on the clinic. The people of Darktown need you, and they need you with all your strength.”

The healer started protest, but Hawke softly cut him off and promised: “I will still drop by from time to time and bring supplies.”

Finn raised an eyebrow at this and saw Anders’ face light up in the very same moment and intensity as Fenris’ expression went sullen and dark. Catfight…

But Anders backed down, which only told Finn that he was really at the end of his might and answered Hawke: “Alright and thank you, Sweetheart.”

“Get some rest. Good night.”, Hawke wished him and then waited for him to retreat into the clinic. Before Anders closed the door, he gave Finn an intense look, conjuring him to behave himself. He only answered with a grin and saw worry flash across his friend’s face, just as intended. With that, Anders looked at Hawke and then closed the door.

As Finn turned around, he almost jumped back because the elven girl was standing right in front of him and said: “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Merrill!”

“Right.”, he drawled and then said: “I’m Finn, as you already know.”

They all introduced themselves, apart from Fenris you preferred to brood aloof. Finn only shrugged and then merrily asked: “Where are we going?”


	4. Chapter 4

“You do remember that we are looking for blood-mages?”, Fenris asked of him, dryly, but still angrily and Finn replied in an all too sweet tone: “Alleged blood mages, if you will. There is no evidence, or is there?”

The elf shot him an angry glance, but Hawke answered honestly: “No, there is none we know of, at least for those you are still missing, but the one mage we found, we could not help anymore. We had to kill him as he attacked us.”

“Really?”, Finn drawled, disappointed that Meredith had been right with at least one of them, “Who was that?”

“An elf by the name of Huon.”, Carver gave him an answer and as he was apparently from a sharp mind, he enquired: “Did you know him?”

“Yes.”, Finn admitted and saw all their surprised and interested gazes as the patrolled Darktown, “And to be honest, I’m not surprised that he was a blood mage. He’s always been creepy.”

Hawke gave him a crooked smile that fell as Finn jokingly asked: “How did his wife take his untimely passing?”

He was worried about her and his concern grew as none of them answered.

“Tell me, Andraste’s tits!”, he cursed and Merrill snuffled quietly, which made him look at the elven girl. But it was Hawke who explained: “He killed her before we were there.”

“Bastard.”, he muttered under his breath and addressed Hawke in the very moment she wanted to say something: “Who are the others? I might know them, I’ve spent the last ten years of my life in the Gallows.”

Hawke raised an eyebrow and Finn scoffed: “C’mon, lovely, as if you hadn’t gathered that by yourself!”

Fenris glared at him and so he shot the elf a glance and said: “Don’t you dare tell me that the Gallows were where I belonged.”

He tilted his head at this, so Finn snorted and turned to Hawke who let him know: “I just wanted to ask you for your “insight”, so to speak.”

Grinning Finn stated: “Milady, I like the way you think!”

She nodded courtly and then told him: “The Templars are still looking for Evelina and Emile de Launcet.”

“No way!”, Finn exclaimed, “No, they can’t be blood mages, not those two!”

“Your confidence is touching.”, Fenris dryly said, “But your faith in them will be your demise.”

“Yeah, whatever.”, Finn snorted and then insisted: “Hawke, believe me, Emile is a ridiculous coward and dumb as a post. He has neither the wits nor the balls to make deals with a demon. And Evelina would never…well…”

“What is it, Finn?”, she asked him warily and he bit his lip, reluctant to answer, but then he did nevertheless: “Evelina knows the dangers demons pose and she isn’t daft. But she came to the Gallows hoping the tinmen would help her with all the orphan children she had picked up when she fled the Blight. She is strong, but she would do anything for her kids.”

“Anything?”, Carver dug deeper and Finn darkly nodded at him: “Literally anything. If it meant saving the kids from harm, she would die for them and sell her soul within the blink of an eye.”

“A true mother…”, Merrill whispered and Finn gravely looked at her, suddenly remembering his own mother, even though he only saw vague flashes of long lost memories.

“Then we should look for her first.”, Hawke decided, “As there is still hope. Where can we find her?”

“I dunno.”, Finn honestly replied and as Fenris glared at him, he offered: “But I know whom to ask. Walter, one of her foster boys.”

With that, he gestured them to follow him and quickly made his way to the usual spot Evelina’s kids were found in. By now, they were just too many to hide properly, even down here.

“Walt!”, he called out to the boy who quickly got up from his place beside one of the younger boys, smiling at Finn. But his face fell as he saw Hawke – or the pissed expression on Finn’s face, he would not venture a guess.

“I need you to tell me something. And don’t lie!”, Finn wanted to know.

“I’m no liar, Finn!”, Walter harshly said, brushing dirty, greasy blond hair out of his face, but the hounded look out of his eyes showed all his fear.

“Where is Evelina?”, Finn demanded, but Walter only shook his head: “H-haven’t seen her since the Templars arrested her…”

“You’re lying!”, Finn accused him as it was totally obvious. Threateningly, he towered over the younger man and whispered: “She’s in danger, do you even realise that?”

“She’s…no…”, Walter stammered in fear and Hawke resolutely said: “Finn, back down!”

“No.”, he answered, but gave her a reassuring glance to tell her that he would at least calm down.

“Walter, look.”, he began anew, calmer this time, “Meredith herself is looking for her. That old hag won’t ask any questions, she’ll just run Evelina through.”

One of the younger boys, Cricket, if he was not mistaken, whimpered at this and Walter cursed: “Darn it, Finn, not in front of the kids!”

“You’re a kid, too.”, he only retorted, but Walter replied sharply: “No, not anymore, ain’t got time for it with Evelina gone.”

He then took a deep breath and admitted: “She was here, but…something has changed. She told us the Templars had found her and she had had to…defend herself. When I told her that the kids were afraid of her and that I wouldn’t let her near ’em, she ran to the sewers.”

“That was brave.”, Finn said, although he thought that is also could have been very, very dumb, “Here, take this.”

“What’s that?”, Walter asked in confusion, so he explained, “What does it look like? It’s five silvers, git. Get the kids something to eat.”

“Thanks…”, the boy drawled and Finn left him alone.

“Thank you, Walter, for telling us.”, Hawke spoke her gratitude and, as Finn saw, also handed gold over. Walter tried to refuse, but she did not give him the chance to. Then she quickly followed him as Finn was already ahead, looking for the nearest entrance into the sewers. Hawke had no problem to keep his pace, although he was more than a head’s length taller than her. As she was walking beside him, Finn mumbled: “Thanks.”

“What for?”, she asked innocently, so he grumbled: “You know that damn well! People like you are their only chance. I couldn’t have afforded more than five silvers.”

“Three Sovereigns will feed them all for a while.”, Hawke smiled and Finn’s jaw dropped: “Three Sov…girl, you’re crazy.”

“Where I come from, this is called generosity.”, she retorted with a crooked grin, but then added with sincerity, “Or “the right thing to do”…”

For that, Finn gave her an honest smile, but then returned to his task of finding a sewer-entrance. All the while he was overly aware of the fact that he was watched closely. Shooting a side-glance over to Fenris, he saw the elf averting his eyes far too quickly. Although he was worried about Evelina, Finn had to grin. That damn elf was either fantasising about killing him for the fact that Hawke had taken a liking to him so quickly…or maybe his thoughts were wandering south, as were Finn’s as his gaze lingered at the elf’s backside for a moment. What a cute butt…

Shaking his head to gather his senses, he returned to looking for an entrance.

“There it is!”, he said, as he found the mouldy crate that hid a simple, yet effective wooden cover, “She’s used this entrance, I’m sure.”

“Why?”, Merrill wanted to know and Carver explained calmly, “It is hidden and very near to the children she took care of. It seems only logical.”

“Oh…”, the elven girl said and Finn grinned, telling her, “Don’t worry about this, sweetie. The stench down there should give you worries, it certainly does that to me!”

With this, Finn flipped open the wooden trap door under the crate and pointed towards it with an inviting gesture, saying: “After you.”

Carver snorted while his sister chuckled, but both Fenris and Merrill wrinkled their noses. Elves, they had so much better senses, but right now, Finn did not envy them for this.

“What about you, Fenris?”, he teased, “Can’t bear a little smell?”

“Silence.”, the elf growled and harshly followed the Hawke siblings down, so that only Finn and Merrill remained.

“C’mon, sweetie, it won’t get better.”, he jokingly told her.

“True that.”, the girl muttered, took a deep breath and climbed down. Finn was not even half way down, when he heard her gag from the stench and as inappropriate as it was, he still had to laugh loudly.

“Not funny.”, Merrill pouted and he answered, “No, but still!”

Grinning, Finn plopped down into the sewers, just to find Fenris frowning at him, so he asked: “What? Did you expect me to lock you all in down here and then make a run for it?”

“In part.”, the elf answered brutally honest and he just snorted as an answer, then made his way through the sewers, not caring what that idiot thought. At least, that was what Finn tried to convince himself of, but it gnawed away at him that Fenris mistrusted him…almost as much as the next Templar would have.

The air was thick, the tunnels dark and so they did not brighten Finn’s already gloomy mood whilst they were searching for Evelina.

“Do you have any idea where she could be?”, Carver asked and he only retorted: “Somewhere down here, but that’s about it.”

The guard grumbled, as did Fenris, but somehow from Carver it felt as if he was only displeased with having to be here longer, whereas Fenris’ growl sounded like an accusation in Finn’s hears. So he ignored it best he could. But it was not easy as he felt the elf’s gaze in his back like daggers.

Muttering random curses under his breath, Finn railed against Templars and reeking sewers alike as Fenris told him: “Silence!”

“Who do you think y…”, he growled, but the elf cut him off with a harsh gesture. Hawke watched him closely, but he saw that she trusted Fenris, so he for once shut his mouth…and heard faint sobbing.

“Evelina…”, he whispered, spun around and dashed forward, following the indistinct noise.

“Wait!”, Hawke ordered, but Finn did not care. He knew very well that both demons and Templars could await him, but he was prepared. So far, a fireball had solved each and every one of his problems.

As he reached an opening in the ever dark tunnels of the sewers, his eyes darted from one side to the other in search of the mage he knew.

“Evelina!”, he called out to her, when he spotted the elderly woman and quickly went to her. He heard a displeased grunt from Fenris, but he ignored it and knelt down next to the mage hiding her face in her hands, whispering: “What have I done…?”

“You defended yourself.”, Finn quietly told her and patted her shoulder. But he froze instantly as he felt…something, lingering in the shadows, whispering to him.

Gasping, Finn backed away, shaking his head in horrified disbelief: “No…no, Evelina, not you…”

A dreamy smile slowly crept upon Evelina’s lips and she said in a patronising tone: “But yes, Finlay, dear, I had to. They would have gotten to the children had I not.”

Still not willing to believe what he already knew, Finn shook his head, but then rage fulfilled him and he yelled at her: “You knew better than flirting with demons!”

“You know nothing.”, Evelina softly spoke and in front of his eyes, thick, paralyzing magic engulfed her as she turned into an abomination.

“NO!”, Finn cried in enragement and summoned a fireball that exploded right in her back. Behind him, battle cries rose and he moved back, giving Hawke, Carver and Fenris room, whilst he and Merrill casted more destructive spells. Together they tore apart what had become of a woman once dear to him.

Panting, Finn stared at the sanguinary remains of Evelina. She had not been the first abomination he had ever seen, but qualmishness overwhelmed him. Disoriented, he stumbled forwards, closing his eyes against a bolt of pain in his head.

“No…”, he mumbled and heard Fenris scoff, “She is dead, deal with it.”

“Fenris!”, Merrill gasped, “What a horrible thing to say…”

“Only the truth. Only another blood mage.”, the elf replied, but Finn almost did not hear his words as he was fully occupied with regaining his composure. Well…he lost.

Toppling over, Finn at first did not even realise that someone had caught him, but as the sudden crash against the stinking floor failed to appear, his eyes shot open. And the zinger to look directly into Fenris’ deep green eyes, almost lying on top of the stubborn elf, broke him out of the demon’s grasp.

Fenris pushed him away with a groan of effort and now Finn hit the ground, but he laughed: “What? I know I’m heavy, but was it that horrid to be near me?”

“Indeed it was!”, Fenris shot at him and Finn chuckled, but the groaned, “Oh shit, my bloody head.”

“What happened?”, Hawke enquired and reached for his hand to pull him to his feet again, a gesture Finn gladly accepted, but he was reluctant to explain himself.

“If I tell you, lovely, your elf is gonna kill me, I’m afraid.”

“Depends.”, Fenris dryly said and Finn turned to him, grinning broadly: “On what? Whether I make another pass at you or not? Which option would you fancy?”

The elf frowned and now Finn could honestly watch him blush.

“On whether or not you say anything it all!”, he belatedly retorted and Finn smiled, but then admitted to Hawke: “The demon that had…possessed Evelina tried his luck with me.”

A grave expression darkened her fair face and he groaned, knowing that this statement would bring him in far more trouble than anything else could have. Maker, he could have even asked her to let him see her private parts and would have gotten away with it more easily!

“A demon?”, Fenris asked warily and Finn sighed: “Yes, a demon. Sorry mages don’t attract fluffy bunnies!”

“That would be better, though.”, Merrill mumbled and Carver smiled, but Finn addressed the elven warrior: “Don’t get your knickers twisted, I kicked it outta my mind.”

“Nevertheless, I will watch you closely.”, Fenris threatened, which made Hawke sigh in resignation, but she did not counter, so Finn spoke for himself. In a way. Fluttering his eyelashes at Fenris again, he said: “Oh, I do hope you watch me closely. Just tell me whether you like what you saw, alright?”

The look on his face was priceless. But they had more important business at hand, so he asked Hawke: “Let’s get outta here, shall we?”

As an answer, she only groaned: “Maker, yes.”


	5. Chapter 5

Making their way out of the sewers, Hawke asked Finn: “Do you have any idea where we could find Emile? His parents do not know anything of his whereabouts.”

He gave this question some thought and mumbled then: “He is a daft coward, an apostate and he has no money, so he’s desperate. And well, he has never been the brightest star up in the sky, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do.”, Hawke replied dryly and Finn returned to the question, adding: “So, where would you find a desperate man in Kirkwall?”

“In Darktown.”, Merrill replied, “Or the Alienage…”

“Right, sweetie.”, he responded with a knowing grin, “But any other ideas?”

“The Hanged Man.”, Hawke stated in the very same moment as her brother and Fenris said: “Hanged Man.”

“No doubt.”, Merrill agreed and so did Finn, “Alright, then the Hanged Man it is.”

When they left Darktown, Finn inhaled deeply and dreamily spoke: “Ah, fresh air.”

“Fresh?”, Merrill squeaked in irritation and Carver added, “You really consider the stench of Lowtown fresh? Wow, you poor bastard.”

Finn gave him a smile that lacked the bitterness he felt as he said: “Well, mages aren’t taken to high mountains. We don’t come around enough.”

“Sorry.”, the guardsman retorted, but he brushed this off and instead enjoyed their walk through nightly Lowtown. The air was rubbish, the streets dirty and the smell of cheap hooch and even cheaper hookers was everywhere, but still this felt like life to Finn, at least for the moment. Now a willing girl or guy in his arms and he would even consider going to a mass to the Chantry in Kirkwall.

They met a few drunkards on their way, but as Hawke opened the door to the inn, Finn was under the impression that all drunkards of the entire Free Marches were gathered in this one crowded taproom.

“Will I ever…”, he mumbled, a broad grin appearing on his lips, “Anders, I’m so gonna beat the crap out of you that you didn’t take me here.”

Carver chuckled, but then suggested: “Don’t drink the grog, it’s awful.”

“As is the beer.”, Hawke chimed in, “And the stew, the wine…”

“It is the Hanged Man, after all.”, Fenris threw in dryly and Finn grinned to himself, but then stretched and looked around to find Emile.

“Oh my, you are tall…”, Merrill muttered to him and Finn had almost missed her voice as it got lost in the noises in this room, “Do you see him?”

“No…”, he replied and then spotted him, staring down into a mug, “There he is, drowning his sorrows. Slob.”

“Where is he?”, Fenris asked and got to the tips of his toes, but he would not be able to see him, so Finn offered his hand and joked: “I can lead you to him, if you so desire.”

An angry glare was all the answer he got, so he led the way nevertheless. He had never liked Emile, but seeing him there, sitting all on his own in a crowded room, his eyes reddened from too much sleazy alcohol and drooping so miserably, a small part of Finn pitied him.

He sat down next to the tired and hopelessly drunk mage and cheerfully said: “Emile, long time, no see.”

The stupid boy’s head shot up and it took him quite a while to focus on Finn even though he was sitting right beside him. As Emile recognized him, he groaned in displeasure, lowered his gaze back into his mug and babbled: “Uh, leave me alone.”

Finn gave him a crooked grin, shrugged and said: “Would that I could. Believe me, I’m tempted to go and leave you here, but I’m sure that old hag won’t.”

Out of narrowed, reddened eyes, Emile looked at him again, obviously not understanding anything Finn had just told him. So he harshly explained: “Meredith, she thinks you’re a blood mage, but I know you’re too dumb for that.”

“Am not!”, Emile defended himself and tried to push Finn away, but his hands did not even get anywhere near him, “I really am a blood mage, I a-am dangerous…”

Taking a deep breath, Finn heard Carver chuckle darkly and so he shot at Emile: “You’re an idiot. She’s a paranoid bitch and sees blood mages everywhere, may they be there or not! So why give her any more reason to?”

“Now that would be interesting to know, indeed.”, a velvety voice said, but the annoyance was still to be heard, “This babbling fool told all the ladies here that he was oh so dangerous. Whether they wanted to know or not.”

Finn looked up to see a dark-skinned, beautiful woman in front of him. And as he was just a man, he could not help but stare at her chest. He really needed to get laid again…

Ever so slowly, his mind gathered what the girl in the tight white tunic had just said and so he turned to Emile: “You ran around claiming to be a blood mage? Do you have a death wish or something? I mean, I could totally understand that, being you…”

“Finn…”, Hawke scolded him for that, but he only looked at her over his broad shoulders, grimaced and asked of her, “Look at him and tell me it isn’t true, I dare you.”

Staring Hawke down, Finn waited for her answer and she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but did not object.

“That’s what I thought.”, he grinned and looked at Emile again, but before he could say anything, Hawke rose to speak. Very gently, she asked: “You know the danger, Emile, this town is not safe for mages, much less those suspected of dabbling in blood magic. Why did you claim to be a blood mage then, Emile?”

Whimpering, he looked up at Hawke, blinking heavily as if he was about to cry. His voice choked and maudlin, he stammered: “Because…be…”

Sobbing and drunk, he did not finish the sentence, but the heavy blush on Emile’s pasty face spoke volumes. Disbelieving, Finn stared at him, when the woman next to him grinned wickedly, mocking his desperation: “Poor little Emile did it to get a girl. Alas, no success whatsoever.”

Finn had already gathered that, but he still refused to believe this, so he raised his voice as he asked shocked: “You did that for a shag?!”

“No!”, the accused quickly defended himself, but then his shoulders slumped forward and he muttered: “Well…yes.”

Finn snorted and then, still shaking his head, he turned to Fenris who was looking at Emile in utter disgust: “See? This is what happens when you lock people up all the time, they get daft. But who am I telling this to? You should now, considering that you’re still suffering from the damage done.”

Within an instant, Fenris’ glare out of his green eyes was scorching him, but Finn grinned nevertheless. He knew him for less than two hours, but he already had quite the idea how to manipulate him…and he had lots of ideas what he wanted him to do, even if he had to manipulate him for that.

The fact that he himself was so desperate for a little tumble reminded him of Emile again, so he addressed the other mage: “You really did that just for a shag? You bloody fool, you just should have just said something and the girls in the Gallows would probably have been desperate enough to let even you touch them.”

“You’re mean.”, Emile whined, but he only scoffed, ignoring Hawke’s quiet sound of protest in defense of Emile: “No, I’m honest. Believe me, in the Gallows you would’ve had a chance, but nowhere else, especially not in Kinloch Hold where I have been most of my life. There, girls and guys alike would have ignored you as they had plenty of far better trysts. Life back there was so much more fun.”

“Did you have kittens there? Kittens are funny…even thought they don’t like me.”, Merrill asked and Finn, in irritation, replied, “Yes, sweetie, we had some cats, but that’s not what I meant with fun.”

She blinked at him out of wide eyes, obviously pondering his words hard and just as Finn was about to enlighten her – and probably spoil her sweet, innocent soul by that – Emile interrupted by whining yet again: “I have never cooked for myself, walked through the rain or kissed a girl…”

Finn pursed his lips to shut himself up or otherwise he would have driven the lad in utter depression. Quietly, but with an audibly malicious grin Carver asked: “Isabela, couldn’t you help him with that?”

Emile’s head shot up again, his eyes fixed at the dark-skinned woman and he would start to drool any moment.

“What?!”, Isabela scoffed, “No! Believe it or not, pup, but I do have standards!”

Shaking her head, she first gave Emile a deathly glare that made him duck his head, but then her gaze rested on Finn and she cooed: “And I see a man meeting them.”

Smiling brightly, he told her: “From all that Anders told me, I instantly knew that you had to be Isabela.”

He did not really care for Emile any longer, not whilst he was looking in those dark eyes. Well, they weren’t green, but at least she was willing.

Isabela returned his smile and asked: “Oh, you have already heard of me?”

Carver snorted and told her: “Every man has heard of you…!”

Clicking her tongue coolly, Isabela did not even look at the guardsman and stated: “Shush, don’t listen to him, darling. He is just jealous because he didn’t meet my standards.”

The grin on Finn’s lips spread and at the same time, his interest in her rose…as did his arousal, he would not lie.

“Isabela.”, Hawke’s demanding voice broke their interlocked gazes, “We have more important tasks at hand.”

Shaking his head to gather his senses, Finn agreed, although his libido raised objection as fiercely as it could, so his voice sounded a little shaky as he said: “True that. For so much stupidity, he almost deserves being shipped back to the Gallows.”

“No!”, Emile pleaded, falling back into a thick Orlesian accent, “Please, anything but not the Gallows!”

Shrugging in sham generosity, Finn said to Hawke: “But he’s just an idiot and not dangerous to anyone but himself, so I’d say let him go. Let him build a life of his own somewhere far away.” Where Emile could probably not get on his nerves, but someone else’s.

“You suggest to free a mage of such incompetence?”, Fenris asked seemingly calm, but the anger in his blazing eyes spoke otherwise, ”He is dangerous, simply because of the fact that he is dumb.”

Unimpressed, Finn shrugged and told the elf: “As are you, puppy-eyes.”

He had to restrain himself in order not to laugh as he saw Fenris’ face. The elf was dumbstruck, his eyes wide. But they quickly narrowed and sent another furious glare into Finn’s direction as he growled: “I am not dumb. And there are no puppy-eyes.”

Smiling, he locked gazes with Fenris and could almost feel how the elf’s anger crumbled to give way to confusion. And just as he was about to burst from the strain, Finn let him know: “Damn straight there are puppy-eyes.”

Fenris growled silently at this and Finn had to contain his amusement so as not the laugh out loudly. He made do with a chuckle and then asked of Hawke: “C’mon, let Emile go. Don’t be a Templar.”

Slowly, Hawke grinned and asked: “Is there any gold left or did you waste it all on drinks?”

“Some is left…”, Emile drawled and Hawke nodded sharply: “Good. Take it and leave town this night.”

The mage quickly scrambled to his feet, mumbling his gratitude over and over, but Finn did not listen, he was fully content with the fact that Hawke had to deal with that poor slob.

He winced when he suddenly felt a hand snake around his waist, but relaxed as he heard Isabela curr into his ear: “So, now that this sissy is out of the way…”

He really liked where her thoughts were going, but his attention was drawn to Fenris…again. The elf was standing right in front of Hawke and man, he was pissed.

Watching closely, Finn stopped Isabela’s hand that was almost under his tunic already and as Hawke and the elf came closer to them, he could understand their every word.

“It was the wrong decision, Hawke!”, Fenris furiously told her, but she shook her head and sternly, but still calmly replied: “No, it was not. Emile is just a victim of his captivity, he does not know how to function out here, he only knows the Gallows, you heard his mother.”

“Glad to see at least one sane person here.”, Finn chimed in and Hawke smiled for a moment, but Fenris was now even more furious than he had already been, his eyes blazing with rage. It would not have surprised him in the slightest if the elf had started to glow again.

“Calm down, Fenris. Just a few more years of training at Hawke’s side and you’ll get there eventually.”, he told him in sham reassurance and enjoyed to see him prowl closer until the two of them were separated by just a few inches. Fenris stared into his eyes and yet again anger turned to confusion. Finn had to grin at this, because the elf could claim all he wanted that he hated him and wanted him locked up or dead…he didn’t, he definitely thought of something entirely different.

“What is it now?”, a voice interrupted the moment and as much as Finn had taken interest in Isabela, now he was displeased, because Fenris flinched, spun around and left the Hanged Man. No, he fled.

“Well done.”, he complained cynically, but the pirate only slung her arms around his neck and cooed: “Don’t worry, darling, I have ways to compensate you for your loss.”

“So?”, he asked and slowly shoved her away as Hawke called to him: “Finn, are you staying or coming with us?”

“With you in a moment!”, he answered and Isabela pouted: “No way. You and broody?”

“If I get my way…”, Finn retorted, “Then, oh yes!”

With that, he winked at her and she groaned, but gave him a smile then and said: “If you don’t succeed or get bored…you know where to find me, hunk.”

“I won’t forget that offer.”, he said and slightly bowed to her which won him a smile before he hurried to Hawke, Merrill and Carver.

“We will bring Merrill home.”, Hawke told him, “Should we accompany you to the clinic?”

“I won’t say no to a nice walk under the moon’s light with a beautiful lady at my side.”, Finn replied and Merrill giggled as Hawke rolled her eyes, muttering: “Charmer.”

“Enchanter.”, he corrected, “In the Circle, they called me “enchanter” for more than one reason.”

“Figures.”, Carver snorted as they made their way through Lowtown, “So…you hit on Isabela?”

“Maybe?”, he jokingly retorted, “Jealous?”

“Maybe?”, Carver mocked him, but then shook his head and started a conversation with Merrill.

Without any doubt, Finn already knew that finally meeting Hawke and her companions was the best thing that had ever happened to him. It would bring him in much danger, much trouble…but in so much more fun.


	6. Chapter 6

It was very early in the morning, far too early, when Anders knocked on the door to the small cabin Finn slept in.

“Get up, sleepyhead, someone wants to see you.”, his friend informed him and Finn was about to reply that he would surely not get up if it wasn’t Fenris waiting for him, posing there in nothing more than his smallclothes, but the mere thought made him grin and he slowly got up. Still sleepy, he quickly washed his face with the ice cold water in the small bowl and then entered the clinic.

As he had done almost every day since he was living here with Anders, Finn was astonished at how many people were already here although it was not even properly morning by now. And he was surely still dreaming, because he saw Fenris at the other end of the clinic, brooding as always, his green eyes settled on him, so Finn was a bit dumbstruck for a moment. But then he realised that Hawke was standing right next to the elf and was now greeting him with a smile: “Good morning, Finn.”

“Morn.”, he grumbled, rubbing his face sleepily and then walking over to her, “How are you?”

“Why thank you, I am fine.”, Hawke replied and handed him a small leather pouch. Curious, Finn took it and was surprise by its weight, mumbling: “What’s that, by the Blight?”

“What does it look like?”, Hawke chuckled as Finn opened the small bag. As soon as he saw what was in it, he gasped: “Like a whole shitload of Sovereigns.”

Hawke cleared her throat and then said: “Meredith rewarded us for finding the escaped mages four days ago, Evelina, Huon and Emile. Don’t worry, she does not know where he is. This is your share, Finn.”

He gave Marie Hawke a doubting look and she averted her eyes, seriously blushing, as she admitted: “And then some. Anders would not take any donations I offer, but I figured you could make good use of it here in the clinic.”

“Indeed.”, he replied, “Thanks.”

She nodded at him and then said: “Moreover, would you care to accompany us? We were heading for the Bone Pit to examine some strange occurrences…”

“Of course!”, Finn shouted and he saw Hawke wince, but he honestly did not care, he snatched the poor girl up in his arms and told her: “I’ve been stuck in here for the last four days, so yes, in blazes, yes! Get me out of here!”

With that, he slowly set her down again and saw her all blushed and flustered. He also saw a laughing dwarf behind Hawke and a really pissed-off Fenris…as well as Anders. Wow, what had he done?

“Just let me grab my stuff and I’m with you in no time!”, he assured her and hurried to his little cabin, quickly stuffing things into his backpack he could need on a trip into the mountains. Not that Finn really had any idea of what the mountains would be like…

“Finn?”, Anders asked him and he turned around, surprised to see the friend right behind him, “Can we have a word?”

“Sure.”, Finn shrugged and Anders entered the room, shutting the skew-whiff door behind him and then snarled: “Leave her alone.”

Finn’s jaw dropped as he could not believe his ears, but then he laughed.

“I’m dead serious, Finlay, leave Hawke in peace.”, Anders added threateningly, almost as well as Fenris could have done that.

“If you do have it that bad for her, then by the blights, tell her!”, he replied and gestured into the vague direction Hawke would be standing in, “I’m sure she’s into you too, so tell her.”

“I…can’t.”, Anders said and his voice trailed off, but Finn harshly said, “What, just because of Justice? Fuck this, Anders, you’re still a man, you can’t expect yourself to hold back forever and neither can Justice or Hawke. The girl’s only waiting for you to make a move, believe me.”

“I was afraid this was the case…”, Anders muttered, but Finn cut him off, “You want her, so act on in. If you’ll wait long enough for her to make the first move, you’ll lose control completely and ravish her.”

“I won’t!”, Anders quickly defended himself, but Finn only smirked, “You would. And I couldn’t even blame you.”

His friend looked away from him in shame, as Finn quickly picked up his backpack and then put one hand onto Anders’ shoulder, telling him: “Don’t make you both wait. You deserve some happiness, as does Marie.”

“I just don’t think that I can be the one to give it to her…”, Anders sadly whispered, but Finn told him convinced: “Who if not you? Just think about everything she does for you. And here, take this donation she just gave me as you wouldn’t accept any more of her.”

With that, he left his friend completely dumbfounded, but Finn was not keen on waiting there until Anders would have grasped the entirety of what he had just told him. Oh no, he surely would not be around to listen to him whine, so he quickly rushed over to Hawke, flashing her a wide grin: “Let’s go! The quicker, the better.”

“Wow.”, the dwarf laughed as the four of them left the clinic, „When Hawke told me you were that eager, I didn’t believe her. Sorry, Hawke.”

“Do not worry, I am already used to you.”, Hawke replied and winked at the dwarf. An interested glance over to Fenris told Finn that now he was not angry, even though the dwarf and Hawke were obviously very close. So was the elf’s anger solely reserved for him? Interesting…

The dwarf snapped Finn out of his thoughts as he said: “So, you got to be Finn. I’m Varric Tethras, at your service, even though from now on, I will call you Torch, because you are a torch.”

“I’m a what?”, Finn stammered and the dwarf laughed merrily: “A torch. From what Hawke told me, you gotta be a torch, catching fire easily, dominating magical fire in almost mastery…and emblazing fires of desire in men and women alike.”

Not that Finn had not heard quite some things about himself so far, but this…well, it made even him choke a bit. And to his endless shame, he was sure that he was blushing a light shade of red. Being blonde and light-skinned as he was, he could already foresee Varric’s next comment. He was not let down: “And you indeed inflame easily, as I see.”

With a smug smirk, the dwarf laughed at him, but Finn could not help it and laughed with him.

“So, I emblaze fires of desire, huh?”, Finn asked grinning, “Who on earth told you that?”

“I have my sources.”; Varric retorted, but as Finn shot him an enquiring glance, he raised his hands in refusal, “And I won’t divulge them to you, forgive me, but no good storyteller ever does.”

“Which is not valid for bad storytellers.”, Fenris threw in, completely dryly and out of the blue. Hawke giggled quietly, whereas Finn laughed loudly at the shocked face of the dwarf. Even some of the poor folk in Lowtown turned their heads to look at himin surprise, but he just could not stop. Varric’s face was just priceless.

“Are you trying to say that I’m a bad storyteller, Broody?”, Varric asked with glistening eyes. There was a small smirk on Fenris‘ lips that sent Finn’s thoughts rushing through his mind, then the elf said: „Not at all, dear friend. I was merely implying that you were.”

Now Hawke joined into Finn’s laughter and with every second he knew this woman, he could better understand why Anders loved her. And he did, there was no doubt about that.

“Fine.”, Varric grumbled in sham anger that did not convince any of them, „You will not be part of any of my upcoming stories, then.“

“Is that a promise or a threat?”, Finn asked with a grin as they went to the City’s gate in the north, leading them to the mountains.

“Both.”, Fenris told him as he turned to him, “At least I hope that it is also a promise.”

Finn chuckled and for a moment, the elven warrior smiled at him, their gazes meeting. But the moment ended as fast as it had come upon them. Soon, Fenris was back to frowning and brooding, the usual as even Finn already knew.

And now that he had seen Fenris’ smile, he did not like this dark scowl he was now wearing.

“Let’s go, boys.”, Hawke said with an endearing smile on her pink lips, “The Bone Pit is half a day’s walk away.”

“As are its dangers.”, Finn replied with a grin and Varric exclaimed, “Danger means stories!”

He laughed and was totally ignorant of the mistrusting looks the guardsmen at the gate gave him. Rubbing his big hands together, Varric mumbled: “New stories, a whole bunch of them. Hawke, I will need to write some things down. But you, Broody, won’t receive any recognition whatsoever!”

The dwarf laughed and this merry sound echoed in the glen they now were in. At the same time, Fenris was ignoring Varric and frowned, keeping his eyes away from Finn. But it did not matter. Finn had already decided that if he liked Fenris’ smile better than his frown, he just had to bring it back. And as he liked the elf’s smile much better by far, he was already scheming against him to bring it back. He would.


	7. Chapter 7

Hours later after having stopped only once to eat a little and drink water, Finn had just finished another story of his life in the Circle. Admittedly, he only told those that had humour in them, but those were the only ones worth remembering anyway.

“And once I kicked at Templar in the balls.”, he just started a new, rather short anecdote and Varric laughed asking: “You did what? No, Torch, not even you can be that impulsive and…well, stupid.”

He flashed the dwarf a wide grin, but then heard Hawke’s breathless question: “Did you really turn violent against a Templar?”

For a moment, Finn frowned, but then he saw the concern in her icy blue eyes, realised the warmth they now gave him and understood that she was indeed seriously worried. About him of all people. Wow, that was sweet of her, by far more than he had anticipated and it told him something. She feared for a mage dear to her, maybe Anders…or she had feared for a mage and had lost them. Either way, he did not like it.

So shrugging lightly he added: “I did, kicked him square in his bollocks, even knocked him out.”

“Finn!”, Hawke scoffed and again, he instinctively reacted with anger and wanted to defend himself, but then saw how worried she was as she asked him, “What did he do? Then?”

“He learned his lesson.”, Finn replied jovially although he in part had to act his amusement, „He never molested one of my friends again.“

Hawke raised her hand to cover her mouth in terror and muttered: “I knew that this…oh no.”

“And…”, Finn continued with a self-satisfied grin, “I never saw him without a codpiece again.”

Varric laughed loudly at this and after a moment, Hawke cautiously asked: “But that was not everything that happened, correct?”

“No.”, he quickly said and rushed through the answer she silently demanded, “They gave me solitary confinement. Only for eight weeks, but it sure felt like a whole lifetime down there.”

Finn shuddered at the memory of the cold and dark cell, of the solitude deep below the Tower, but he shrugged it off as fast as it had hit him and grinned at Hawke: “But believe me, that was totally worth it.”

She gave him a saddened look out of her blue eyes, but after a moment Hawke too had to grin, although she did so only very reluctantly and while shaking her head. But Finn already knew that he liked this woman, she could be…an ally, someone Anders and he had never had outside the Tower throughout their lives. He did not really know her, but she had already shown him so much – heck, even the mountains outside of that pit Kirkwall! – so he knew he wanted her close as a friend.

Fenris, however, he wanted much closer, but that stubborn elf had not spoken a mere word since he and Varric had begun to tell each other stories. And telling from the frown on his face, the elf was not willing to change this any time soon. Pity.

“Something is wrong.”, Fenris’ deep voice warily said all of a sudden and at first, Finn had absolutely no idea what in blazes he was talking about…until he saw what he meant.

“Didn’t you say you owned the Bone Pit?”, Finn asked, directed at Hawke, “Then…where are all your miners?”

“I don’t know.”, she cautiously replied, “And I really do not like any of the possible explanations…”

“Then let’s check what’s going on. At least we can then narrow it down to one possibility you don’t like.”, Varric suggested with a smirk, but it was clear to Finn that he was nervous. Well, he really wasn’t alone with that.

“Where do we start?”, Finn asked ad looked around. His gaze followed Fenris‘ and suddenly he knew where to go.

“Fire…”, he whispered and went towards the downward slope in front of them, but a strong hand around his arm prevented him from leaving them.

“Stay back.”, Fenris ordered him without so much as a side glance at him, but then he looked at Hawke and she nodded at the elf.

“Stay behind us.”, she repeated his order and then the two warriors went ahead, down into the pit below them. Finn had read very much in the Circle, because honestly, what else could he have done apart from flirting, but seeing the smouldering piles of ash next to the bones of various animals and humans, it took him a hell of a time to figure out what they were facing.

“Back!”, he whispered harshly and earned only irritated looks for that. Apart from Fenris, he ignored him, so Finn snarled: “Get back, stubborn oaf!”

This was rewarded with a furious glare, but before Finn could even try to explain himself, it was too late.

“Dragon.”, he said and stared at the enormous creature that raised its head in front of them, surrounded by bones and carcasses.

“Sweet tits of Andraste…”, Varric mumbled, but then loaded his crossbow, muttering under his breath, “Say hello, Bianca, this is a story to be told.”

In haste, Finn thought about what to do, because his magical fire would not hurt this beast, the dragon would not even do so much as laugh at it. So all he could do was use his Force-magic. And make sure his friends would stay alive.

“Finn.”, Hawke cautiously said as the dragon flapped its wings as if to stretch after a nice nap, so he answered, „Heal you and get my ass out of its range, got it.“

“Same here, Hawke.”, Varric quickly replied to her unspoken question, then Hawke and Fenris exchanged a quick glance and charged as two persons of one mind. Right after they had dashed forward, Varric shot a bolt at the dragon and even though it could not really have hurt it, this attack at least distracted it long enough to give Fenris and Marie room and precious time.

Finn could give them even more of this, so he tried his best. He mobilised what he found within him and added electrical bolts to Varric’s wooden ones, used his Force-magic to divert the dragon’s claws from the two fighters close to it. He was not willing to lose one of them.

The dragon again flapped its wings, now with more force in its movement and this pushed Fenris and Hawke back. Finn heard her disgruntled groan and the two of them soon charged at the dragon again. All he could do was divert its attacks, push it back at least a little and torment it with little spells. He had never doubted the power of his magic, but now he was becoming desperate. He could not do anything!

“Shit!”, he heard Varric curse and spun around, only to escape a dragonling’s paw by hair’s width.

“Shit!”, Finn cursed as well, agreeing with the dwarf and he threw a globe of frost against its chest. It froze over completely and the next thing he knew, Finn was harshly pushed to the side and something, a black blur, dashed past him, shattering the frozen dragonling in the process. Only as this shadow turned around to him, he understood that it was Fenris. Irritated, he spun around yet again and saw the High Dragon clinging to the side of the mountain, roaring loudly.

“She fled.”, Hawke panted, but Finn breathlessly chuckled, “Don’t worry, lovely, she’s coming back. Mommy is pissed.”

As if the dragon had heard him, she forcefully pushed herself off the cliff and landed in the middle of the pit with a loud thud that made the ground underneath them shake. Fenris glared at him as if this was his fault, but Finn ignored this and instead greeted the dragon with a fireball to her face. It would not kill her, no, but fire just had to sting even in a dragon’s eyes. And it apparently did, because as the flames hit her, the dragon shrieked so sharply that he was sure his ears would start bleeding.

Without hesitation, Hawke and Fenris opposed the High Dragon again and Finn could already see that her movements had slowed a bit. Not enough by far, but at least a bit. Varric and Finn himself continued their ranged attacks, mustering all they could do as did Fenris and Hawke. But still the dragon chased them around like a cat chased mice and the fact that her dragonlings joined in the skirmish did not help in the slightest.

Finn was panting heavily after they had been chivvied from one end of the pit to the other, having thrown more spells than he cared to count and having cast even more healing magic. Sarcastically, he thought that Anders would be proud of him if he lived to tell the tale.

Another globe of frost, another blow of his Force-magic and another dragonling fell. Deafening, the High Dragon’s agonized scream ran through the pit and Finn quickly turned around, just so see Fenris cling to one leg of the dragon, jabbing his broadsword deep into the belly of this beast, right below its wing. The elf jumped back, distracting the dragon and Hawke drew even more blood.

When Finn understood what was happening, he tried to run, but he knew it was too late, so he froze.

The dragon collapsed, dropped dead and he knew that its dead body would bury him. Closing his eyes, Finn finally overcame the paralysis and he ran although he knew that this would not help him anymore. That was the very moment when something hit him just like Force-magic, but with more force than he had ever felt and moreover it was much more…fleshly. That was it; he was buried under the dragon, as good as dead.

At least, this was what he thought until the weight was lifted from him. In irritation, his eyes shot open and met blazing green ones. Fenris.

“Get up.”, the elf barked and Finn just blinked at him, only slowly realising what had just happened. Fenris…had saved his life. Shit, he was indebted.

Finn shook his head to gather his senses again, but he failed as Hawke pulled him to his feet and shook him by his shoulders so hard he was getting nauseated.

“Are you alright?”, she asked and he groggily replied, “Not if you keep doing this, lovely, no. Then I will only puke on your pretty boots.”

“Sorry.”, Hawke mumbled and he had to grin, especially as Varric said: „Good to see you in one piece. But better to crawl out under Broody than from under a dragon, eh?”

Definitely. But had Finn known that it had been Fenris who had been lying on top of him, well, he would surely have tried to take his advantage of this situation. So he had to make do with a dirty joke at Fenris’ expense: “If you throw yourself at me again, I’d like dinner first.”

Fenris starred at him blankly, but then his eyes narrowed and he dryly said: “Then rest assured that I will not do this again.”

With these words, Fenris turned around and prepared to leave the pit, not giving Finn a second glance.

“Are you really alright?”, Hawke insisted and Finn nodded at her, “Yeah. How about you?”

“Alright as well.”, she stated and then ordered, „I doubt we will reach Kirkwall today. So let’s make way, the further we get away from this mess, the better. We will set camp somewhere on the Wounded Coast.”

Finn was exhausted, but the prospect of a night out in the open was promising. Especially since there were no Templars anywhere near, not as there had been whenever he had fled the Circle before. And the fact that Fenris would not be able to dodge his attempts at conversation the whole night plastered a bright grin on his face as he followed Hawke.


	8. Chapter 8

„Set camp.“, Hawke ordered them and wiped the nonexistent sweat from her forehead as they reached a cliff at the Wounded Coast. Finn was so tired, so exhausted that he simply dropped his backpack to the ground and he followed suit, allowing his legs some rest. He had always thought to be rather fit…well, so much for that when he was the tallest of them all and panting heavily while Varric had not even broken a sweat. Finn felt miserable. And pathetic.

The dwarf snickered quietly and teased him: „What up, Torch?“

“Leave me be, I’m tired.”, he groaned which made Varric only laugh even more, but Fenris gave him an unforgiving look of disdain.

“C’mon, we make a deal.”, Varric offered and Finn blinked at him, “We set up the camp and you light the fire, eh, Torch?”

“If I have fire left.”, he agreed chuckling although he knew that there was still magic in him, he was not completely exhausted, but he would definitely sleep well tonight.

For a few minutes, he just sat there, waiting, and then found the strength and curiosity to watch the others. Varric prepared the campfire, Hawke rummaged through their packs to find some food and Fenris spread out two blankets. This was a well-rehearsed performance and it made Finn wonder which part he was supposed to play. Soon enough he found out as Varric told him: “Okay, campfire’s ready, now light it, Torch.”

“Do you also tell Anders to do that?”, he wanted to know and the dwarf grinned, whereas Fenris frowned, “We could also use flint and tinder. We should use flint and tinder.”

Finn bored his gaze into the green one of the elf and lit the dry wood Varric had gathered by throwing a little fireball. He did so with ostentation and satisfaction as he saw Fenris’ eyes narrow. This was so much fun…

“Varric, Fenris, go get some sleep now.”, Hawke suggested and they all looked at her in confusion as she added, “Finn and I will take the first watch.”

“Hawke…”, Fenris began protest in the very same moment Finn said, “Love, I don’t think…”

They both stopped as they heard the other talk and stared at each other, which made Hawke giggle quietly. Finn was determined not to withdraw and contentedly he realised that Fenris’ gaze…changed. Initial huff turned to anger, riddled with something else Finn clearly recognised. How had Varric called it this morning, “fires of desire”? Yep, that was what he saw in the green depths. At least he wanted to believe it.

The elf was the first to break their eye contact and Finn grinned in satisfaction. His head hung, Fenris said: “Alright, Hawke. Rest well.”

With that, he turned around and Finn was sure that his cheeks had grown a bit pinker. Varric’s smirk only confirmed that. The dwarf nodded at him, then he also went to sleep and it was Marie’s soft voice that caught his attention as she said: “Finn? Come here, I want you to see this.”

He was about to retort something very dirty, just to see that fair face blush deeply, but when he stood beside her, Finn was breathless. His mouth agape, he just stared out onto the sea, for miles and miles nothing but water was to be seen. He gulped, but found no words. He had seen the sea before, when they had shipped him to Kirkwall like a crate, but never… never ever had he seen such beauty, the sun setting over an endless ocean, its waters set aflame by the last light of the day.

“I thought you might like this.”, Hawke smiled at him and Finn blinked, only able to tear away from this view for a short moment to look at Hawke’s beautiful smile, then he watched the sunset again and whispered: “I do. Thanks.”

In silence, they stood there and looked over the waves, heard them rustle. When the sun had disappeared behind the horizon, Finn sat down and looked at Marie, telling her with sincerity: “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”, she replied and sat down beside him, a cute little blush on her face when she added, “Well, this must sound entirely stupid to you, as we have only known each other for such a short time, but…”

Oh noes. Finn had a notion of what was going to happen and he hated the prospect of hurting her because he really, honestly liked Hawke. So he stopped her before she could say any more: “Look, lovely, I like you too, but I am so not the right man for you.”

“Huh?”, she blinked at him and Finn grimaced as he realised that he now had made of fool of himself. Hawke blushed heavily and quickly said: “Oh no! No, no, this was not…no! I…do realise that I put this in a mistakable fashion, so please, let me start again.”

Finn cleared his throat and then nodded: “Go ahead.”

She bit her lower lip and then said: “You remind me of my father.”

“Wow, I ain’t that old.”, Finn joked and Hawke winced again, “That’s not what I meant! At all.”

“I know, just teasing you a bit. Just a wee tiny bit.“, he said with a grin and Hawke giggled, then told him: „My father was a mage, as was my sister. You can imagine that life was not easy, because, you know, in the eyes of the Chantry, Father and Bethany were apostates.”

Anders had told him something like this, but no details. However, as Finn saw the little sparkle in her eyes, he knew that this was the very reason why Hawke was willing to fight for them…fight for Anders.

“Can’t have been easy.”, he slowly said and she shook her head: “It wasn’t. But I liked it as it was. Just sometimes…sometimes I wished that I was not the eldest child of my parents, especially after Father had passed away. Then I sometimes wished that I had a big brother…”

“Someone to protect you.”, Finn concluded, “As now you were the one protecting your family, being the oldest child.”

“Exactly.”, she nodded and smiled at him, obviously happy that he understood. And when he really understood, he was the one to blush: “You mean…? You wished for a brother like…me?!”

“Not exactly.”, she admitted and Finn gasped in relief, „But I would have definitely liked you as my big brother.“

“Well, better late than never.”, he retorted and saw a smile creep up on her lips, hesitatingly at first, but then shining brightly. For quite some time, they sat there in silence, then Finn began to tell her of the constellations of stars they could see in the pitch black night sky and recited the stories about them he could remember. They both yawned and Hawke suddenly said: “I will go to sleep now.”

“Huh? What about me?”, he complained, but she retorted, „Be a good big brother and let me sleep.“

“I knew this would come back at me to bite me in the arse.”, Finn grinned and Hawke winked at him, saying, “Maybe not so much.”

Frowning, he watched her closely…as she woke Fenris to relieve her. The elf tensed, but relaxed as soon as he recognised Hawke. She spoke softly with him and as Fenris got up and glared at Finn, she again winked at him. That little minx! She knew damn well that he had his eyes on Fenris!

He, in contrast, was obviously determined to ignore this fact, because instead of sitting down next to Finn, he patrolled around the camp in silence that nevertheless screamed hatred. When Fenris finally stopped brooding and returned to the camp, he sat down a few paces away from Finn who greeted him with: “So, Fenris…”

“Shut your mouth.”, the elf snarled and Finn did not believe his ears for a moment. But the angered glare that hit him out of those greenest eyes spoke volumes. For a short time, Finn really stayed silent, but then he said: “What exactly did I do to you?”

Silence answered him, accompanied by another glare sharp as a dagger, so Finn continued: “Is it that I was born with magical talents? You know, you on the other hand were born with pointy ears, so…”

“Do not dare to compare you to me.”, Fenris harshly demanded, but Finn shrugged, “Why not? There’s not that much of a difference. Well, apart from the demons…”

“Correct, apart from demons. Demons!”, Fenris hissed, “This is more than enough difference.”

Finn sighed deeply, but stayed silent. Yes, he wanted that stubborn bastard, he was attractive. But there was so much hatred in him that he was afraid the elf would never see him, never Finn, the man, but only another despicable mage. Finn knew of his past, at least as much as Anders did and it explained a lot…but by far not everything. He was curious, but questions would get him nowhere, so he stayed silent.

“Speak!”, Fenris suddenly ordered and Finn grinned at him, asking: “What now? Should I speak or shut my mouth? Could you please decide, that would make things easier between us.”

He was not sure because the waves broke loudly at the cliff they were on, but he could have sworn that Fenris growled quietly. Anyways, Finn decided to push even further and offered: “But, seeing that there is so much tension in you…there are ways to get rid of it.”

He was not sure whether he was serious about this or only teasing the elf, perhaps a bit of both, but Fenris’ reaction hit him unprepared. His eyes narrowed even further and then the lyrium on his body started to glow. Faintly and pulsating, but undoubtedly it did. He was angry…or was he?

Fenris averted his eyes and snarled: “Keep these innuendos to yourself, mage!”

With that, he jumped to his feet and began patrolling anew, but Finn sighed tiredly. For a moment he had been convinced that Fenris at least sometimes had similar thoughts as those he had had since they knew each other and they all involved the two of them and not much more – only a little wine or a silky ribbon to tie Fenris’ or his hands with – but now Finn knew that there was only disdain for him. And his kind, mages.

The elf had spat this word as if it was an insult. To him, it probably was, having lived in Tevinter as a slave. Finn looked up at the almost full moon and sighed again. The man was a bloody riddle. But he would solve it, he had to.

In silence, Finn waited until he was too tired to stay awake and he told Fenris: “I’ll wake Varric, good night.”

He did not even receive an answer and this filled him with anger…and determination. He would solve this riddle Fenris was. The dwarf was awake within an instant and joined Fenris by the fire whilst Finn lay down, next to Marie, at least one person that really liked him in return. Closing his eyes, he tried to find sleep, but it took many thoughts about Fenris and the beginning of a plan to give him rest.

But now he had an idea how to find out more about the elf and he would make use of this opportunity. Grinning, he slowly drifted off into sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Finn awoke to the nice and cosy feeling of lying next to a warm and soft body. Well, the ground beneath his blanket was hard and a little pebble stone pricked his shoulder, but finally holding someone in his arms again was something a simple pebble could not ruin. He grinned happily, but then frowned. Wait, what…?

Slowly, the events of yesterday came back to his mind and as soon as he remembered that he was out in the Wounded Coast with Hawke, Varric and Fenris, he wondered who on earth was lying beside him. Finn cautiously opened one eye…and grinned widely.

Marie was curled up beside him, the fierce fighter and strong woman was now merely a tight ball huddled against his chest, her breath tickling his neck as her blonde hair was tickling his nose. He lightly chuckled at his “little sister” and realised that he really liked this idea of being her brother because he had grown fond of her. Moreover, this gave him a very good reason to kick Anders’ lazy, cowardly ass. The girl deserved some happiness.

“Morning, cuddle bear.”, Varric greeted him, but Finn could not look at the dwarf as he was behind him, „You slept well, I take it.“

“Oh, indeed.”, he answered and smiled at Marie who was still fast asleep. How could she not be woken by their conversation? It was a mystery to him and he decided to wake her, already grinning as he wondered whether it would be easy or hard to get her out of her dreams, but then he saw Fenris.

The elf was just standing there, watching the two of them. And Finn could tell from the glistening eyes that looked him all over that Fenris was angry. Alas, he did not know whether it was because he wanted to protect Marie from the oh so evil mage – Finn – or whether he wanted to take his place. Well, he surely would not want to just be Marie’s elder brother, but as Finn did not know the elf’s intentions, he decided to find them out.

“Jealous?”, he asked Fenris with a grin and earned a furious glare. Then the elf snarled: “Jealous? Of her?”

Finn gasped in surprise, but then he had to laugh as did Varric. Moments later, Fenris obviously realised what he had just said, because he quickly averted his eyes and cursed in Arcanum under his breath. Over his own laughter and the dwarf’s, Finn could not make out the words, but he did not really care for them. All he needed to know was that Fenris had not been jealous of him that he held Marie in his arms…no, the elf had been jealous of Marie who was in his arms. That spoke volumes. Even though the elf said nothing apart from a few curses.

Finn was still laughing in disbelief and mumbling to herself, Marie awoke. “Huh?”, she whispered and when she saw him, her eyes shot open.

“Morning, lovely.”, Finn said and could watch the blood rush into her cheeks whilst she stammered: “Oh Maker, I…this is not…I am sorry, this…”

“Relax.”, he chuckled and gently rubbed her back which made her blush even more, so he added whispering, “I’m your wannabe-brother, remember?”

Relieved, Marie smiled at him and then quickly got up. She cleared her throat and ordered as if nothing had happened: “Varric, you get our things and I will see to our breakfast.”

“As always, Hawke.”, the dwarf replied and silently did as he was told, which left Finn to look at Fenris, but the elf was intended to not let their eyes meet. Got you, Finn thought to himself and smiled before he gave Marie a hand in preparing a small breakfast from their victuals. It really was nothing special, but it was delicious, though simple, because Finn had a ravenous appetite after their fight yesterday.

“Oh my, I never knew why the expression was “to wolf something down”, but after seeing you, I can tell.”, Varric chuckled and Finn grinned at him, shrugging as an answer so he did not have to break his meal. Soon after, they were on their way to Kirkwall again and Finn could not help but look out at the open sea.

He realised that Marie smiled at him and then said: “Let’s go down to the beach somewhere, I would like to have a quick wash before we return.”

“Girls…”, Varric said and rolled his eyes at Finn, but Marie chimed in teasingly: “So you don’t want to wash the sweat and dust off you? What does that say about dwarves, my dear friend?”

The two of them laughed, as did Finn before he told Varric: “Such an obvious trap, yet you fell for it. Shame on you.”

“Alright.”, the dwarf gave in and raised his hands in defence, „I’ll wash. Just remember I’m a dwarf, not a kitten.”

With that, they looked for a way down to the shore and as they found one, Finn was just staring. He had never actually been at a beach before.

Marie was standing beside him, tugging at the arm of his robe and so Finn followed her, still a little speechless. Had she…? She had.

Marie handed him a seashell and told him: „Here, one should always keep a seashell from the first time being at a beach. As a free man.”

“How did you…?”, Finn whispered, but then shook his head, almost choked up.

“Anders told me a lot about the Circle, as did my father.”, Marie explained and as Finn gave her an enquiring look, she added, “He really was an apostate, you know? He fled the Gallows, found my mother in Kirkwall and they fled together, newly-wed…and expecting me.”

He did not know why she told him this, but he would never complain about her trust.

“Come on, I did this for you, but I really do want to wash, too.”, she told him with a smile and went over to where Varric was already washing himself, albeit his attempts were even less than half-arsed. Finn chuckled and washed his hands and his face. As he was thinking whether or not he should also wash his hair while he was at it, a sudden splash of water hit him square in his face and also wet the entire front of his robe. Gasping, he looked for the culprit and found them in Marie who was giggling at him.

“Oh, you minx.”, he snarled with a grin, then used his Force magic to shower her in sea water. She was obviously surprised, but did not hesitate for long. Soon, the two of them were completely lost in their splash fight, laughing like kids.

“Don’t you think you’re a little too old for that shit?”, Varric called to them, but as they did not react, he shrugged and simply joined in with a laugh. Panting and laughing, they stopped when they were completely drenched, but grinning like maniacs.

“That was fun!”, Marie exclaimed happily, “I haven’t done that since…oh, Maker knows when!”

“Neither have I.”, Finn admitted, „But yeah, it was fun.“

“I don’t think Broody is that amused.”, Varric chuckled and Finn looked over to the elf who was watching them with a dead-serious frown, obvious contempt for their childish behaviour in his expression.

“Don’t tell me you never do anything for fun!”, Finn demanded with a smile, “With all your brooding, you just need to have something to cheer you up.”

“I assure you, it is not child’s play that amuses me.”, Fenris said and Finn had to use this opportunity, “So, you rather indulge in adult play?”

Marie gasped quietly and Fenris’ green eyes narrowed, but Finn had already seen the sparkle in them. The elf was angry, yes, but there was also something entirely different in his gaze, he just did not want to admit it. Yet.

Instead, the elf angrily stormed off and Marie gave Finn a disappointed look.

“What?”, he asked, “I didn’t tell him to go.”

“Not in words, no.”, she mumbled and before she followed Fenris, she told him, „Give him some time. He…needs to trust you. And his trust is a hard thing to gain.”

„Already gathered that.“, Finn agreed and slowly followed the two of them, Varric right beside him. Hawke seemed to at least try to assuage the elf on their way back to the city, but he really could not tell whether she had any success.

Varric looked up at him and bluntly said: “By now everyone knows you wanna bed him, you don’t need to rub it in.”

Finn grimaced, watched Fenris’ back and his butt too, he had to admit, before he wanted to respond, but Varric was quicker: “By the blight, could you at least not undress him with your eyes in front of me? I’m a storyteller, Torch, I have a lively imagination and I will not get those images outta my mind so easily.”

“You’re only afraid you might like what you see.”, Finn retorted with a dirty smirk and Varric gasped, then laughed, “Definitely not, but alright, point taken.”

For the rest of their trip, Varric and Finn again exchanged stories as there was still a lot to tell. It surprised Finn that after 30 years in the Circle that had felt like endless repetition, he indeed had that much to share.

When they reached Kirkwall in the afternoon, they decided to part ways. But before doing so, Marie asked of the dwarf: “Varric, please, don’t exaggerate the story.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Hawke.”, he replied and Finn had to grin as did Marie, although she also looked a little tortured, “I know I cannot talk you out of telling the story of how we defeated a dragon, but please, Varric, when you tell it in the Hanged Man tonight, just don’t push the issue, alright?”

“I will only praise our glorious and beautiful Champion of Kirkwall as she deserves to be praised.”, the dwarf replied and Marie sighed: “I feared that this would be your answer.”

“Well then, how about we all meet in the Hanged Man tonight?”, Finn suggested and winked at her, “That way you can smack him a good one if he exaggerates too much.”

“Good idea.”, Marie nodded and Varric cheered, “Alright then, see you tonight!”

With these words, he ran off and left the three of them, Hawke, Finn and Fenris who had not spoken a single word since they had left the Wounded Coast. Now he harshly nodded at Finn and said to Hawke: “I will meet you there. The dwarf is in debt and demanded a chance to win his gold back.”

A sly smile appeared on his lips, just for a moment, then the elf turned around without giving Finn a second look and he was left there staring after him.

“Bloody riddle he is.”, Finn mumbled and Marie nodded at him, “Sometimes, yes, most of the time actually. But he is good friend and worth the trouble he brings and the anger he carries within.”

“You sure?”, he said, disbelieving, but she quickly nodded with certainty, “He is.”

Marie slowly smiled at him and then said: “See you in the Hanged Man tonight. Could you…? Oh, no, forget it.”

Finn had to grin as he saw her blush and realised what she had wanted to ask of him. So he told her: “I will bring Anders and if I have to drag him there myself. Under one condition.”

Her face was red and mottled, absolutely adorable, when she asked: “Which is?”

With a smile, Finn retorted: “If you bring Fenris.”

She laughed in surprise and he asked: “So, little sister, deal?”

“Deal.”, she nodded and they shook hands to seal this agreement. Finn left with a bright grin, knowing very well what he liked about Hawke. He also knew that he was looking forward to seeing her in the Hanged Man tonight…and Fenris.


	10. Chapter 10

„I still don’t get why you insist on going to the Hanged Man.“, Anders said, shaking his head, “My cooking really isn’t that bad.”

“Truth be told?”, Finn asked, “It’s awful.”

“Isn’t!”, Anders insisted with a glare Fenris could not have topped. He only smiled to himself, opened the door and waited for the moment his friend would gather that this was not what he had told him to be. And this was rather fast.

“Finlay.”, Anders snarled, but he only pushed him further into the crowded room and to the stairs were he could already see Varric wave at them, „You…you bastard.“

“Friend.”, Finn corrected, “I’m your friend and that’s why I dragged you outta that clinic of yours and into this establishment, so to speak. Just for you to have some fun.”

“Totally altruistically, of course.”, Anders chuckled darkly and Finn nodded, „Exactly! Now c’mon, let’s have some fun.”

As they reached the table Varric had obviously claimed for tonight, their friends were all there already. Marie had kept her word, Fenris was sitting right next to her, a glass of red wine in his hands and as he drank, Finn could not help but look at the elf’s lips. Darn it, that was unfair. No one should be allowed to be this smouldering hot while just sipping a drink!

Snorting, Finn looked around the table, saw Merrill next to Carver, Isabela on her other side and between Merrill and Fenris there was a redhead he had learnt to hide from, Aveline Vallen. She may be a nice lady, but she was Captain of the Guard after all. The knight stood up and extended her hand for him to shake when she said: “You must be Finn. Varric has told me quite something about you.”

“This cute blush tells me he also mentioned those fires he keeps talking about.”, Finn replied as he accepted Aveline’s hand and saw her blush deepen as the dwarf shouted: “Course I did, Torch, that’s part of your charm.”

“Indeed it is.”, he grinned, but was not so sure about this when it came to Fenris. But he did not worry, he simply grabbed a hold of Anders’ shoulders and directed him to the empty seat next to Marie, forcefully pushing him down next to her.

“Wha…?”, Anders stammered, but Finn told him, “Sit down, have a drink and listen to Varric’s story about Marie and me. You’ll be impressed.”

Having said that, he left Anders dumbfounded, but winked at Marie who now had a little blush creep up her cheeks. Cute.

Fenris gave him a short glance, a furious glare, but did not say a single word and then ignored Finn. He doubted that he would have much luck tonight, however, he was settled on enjoying himself anyway, with or without the elf. After all, he still had Isabela’s offer to “keep him company” and he was considering accepting it. Not seriously though, as he leaned his back against the wall just behind Fenris’ chair, purposely to see the elf’s unrest. Man, did that work.

Smiling, Finn watched as Varric climbed a chair and raised his voice. Everyone turned to him, but Finn’s eyes lay on the back of Fenris’ head. The elf squirmed under his gaze, surely well aware that he was there, watching him, but he did not turn around. Bloody stubborn, Finn thought with a chuckle and listened to Varric’s version of their encounter with the dragon yesterday. The dwarf exaggerated hopelessly: “There we were, covered in dirt and sweat, already tired, exhausted. But Hawke pushed us on because she needed to find those poor men working their hands to the bone everyday just to feed their families.”

“Oh no…”, Marie whispered and hid her burning face in her hands, “Not this again. I’m no hero, Varric, dammit.”

“You’re the Champion, Sweetheart.”, Anders retorted, chuckling and gently put one hand on her shoulder. Yes. Finn was already happy with the progress of this evening.

“But no one was there.”, Varric continued his story in an eerie voice that made Finn shiver even though he had been in that pit…or maybe just because of this fact, “No one was to be seen. Until a dragon emerged from the dangerous depths of the Bone Pit.”

Loud gasping was heard and Finn had to grin as he saw that Merrill winced, grabbing Carver’s hand as she did, her eyes quickly checking Hawke, Varric, Fenris and himself, concern in them. She was such a sweet little girl.

“There was a dragon, but as if this had not been enough, no, it was a High Dragon. Destroyer of whole swathes of land, that dragon rose high into the sky above us, then dove down again, swooped us like a bird of prey would catch a mouse. But Hawke dodged the attack, landing a fierce blow.”, Varric told the story much more colourful than it had been while being part of it and Marie was red and mottled, her cheeks filled with the bright pink of shame.

Anders beside her chuckled and whispered something to her Finn could not understand. But the fact that his friend then pulled her closer and she hid her face in his shoulder was more than he had hoped to see today. Maybe Anders had somehow managed to get that stick outta his ass and actually did something now. Good boy.

“But the dragon wasn’t alone.”, Varric whispered and everyone seemed to hold their breath as did Finn for a moment, surprised and absorbed by the dwarf’s skills in storytelling. Then he quietly chuckled to himself, glanced over to Anders who was fighting with himself and Justice, not able to decide whether or not he should hold Marie’s hand. Go for it, Finn thought with gritted teeth and watch with pleasure how Marie took the decision off him by simply intertwining her finger with Anders’. I love you, little sister.

With a grin he thought that this was settled now, he had done what he had been able to do, so now he moved on to hitting a score himself. Still listening to Varric’s story, he stared at Fenris’ neck, the tanned skin there riddled with bright Lyrium.

“The High Dragon had her harem of dragons, all determined to defend their mistress…as were their spawn. Soon, we faced a plethora of dragonlings, dragons everywhere!”, the dwarf said and again gasps were heard, but at their table, people chuckled. Especially Isabela who Finn expected to ask him or the dwarf about the truth any minute after the story had been told his way, “But Hawke prevailed, as she always does. A few blows of her fierce sword and a little, humble help from me, and Kirkwall was saved from yet another threat lurking outside, hidden and cloaked from everyone’s eye. But the Champion had spotted it before it had wreaked havoc as it had planned.”

Cheers were heard as the dwarf bowed to his audience and Finn chuckled while shaking his head. He was bold, damn it, and he was exceptionally good at it.

“Varric!”, Marie hissed accusingly at him, but the dwarf told her, “Kirkwall has the right to know the truth, dearest, fairest lady Hawke.”

“Which you didn’t tell them!”, she objected, but he shrugged and retorted, “No one wants to hear the absolute truth anyway. And I just had to leave Broody and Torch out, one for reasons of safety, the other as punishment. So, who’s up for a drinking game?”

“Count me in!”, Finn said loudly and with great satisfaction he noticed that Fenris had winced for a moment. Briefly, almost impalpably, but he had seen it. Then he realised that Isabela had also seen this and she grinned like a cat that had just eaten the canary as she said: “Alright, Varric, I guess it’s the three of us then.”

“Finn, don’t.”, Anders warned him and he did not even let go of Marie’s hand when all eyes turned to them, “If you insist on a drinking game, just…don’t play against her.”

“Why not?”, he shrugged, smiling, “How bad can it be?”

“Famous last words!”, Varric cheered and already set up three cups, next to them a bottle of grog if he was not mistaken. Finn raised an eyebrow as he saw this and then heard Isabela coo: “Sweet, poor, stupid thing. I’m gonna eat you alive.”

“We’ll see about that.”, he challengingly told her and then they started drinking, the basic rules very easy. Every player had to guess what sum the one to his left side would achieve by rolling three dice and as no one ever hit the exact sum, there was a lot of drinking. Finn was already giggling, enjoying himself more than he had in years when Isabela groaned: “Shit, my head hurts like…fuck, I don’t even know.”

“Put your mouth where your money is.”, Finn said, his speech slurred, “No, wait, the other way round, isn’t it? Ah, fuck it, I don’t care. You lost, baby.”

Varric and he laughed and the dwarf said, enviably clear in his speech and his thoughts, „Well, now that Rivaini is out, there’s just to two of us.”

“Yeah…”, Finn mumbled, “And this table isn’t big enough for both of us.”

As he said that, he saw Marie cover her face in shame, but Anders chuckled and muttered, “You bloody fool.”

Aveline had gone sometime, he did not even remember when, but Merrill was staring at him, fascinated, and then he heard her enquire Isabela about alcohol. But as she did not really answer, Merrill relied on Carver and even drunk as he was, Finn could see that the guard loved to have her close. Dammit, was he the only one not right next to the one he wanted to be with? Unfair.

So his eyes groggily looked for Fenris…and met his furious glare once again. Not knowing what he had done know, he wanted to ask, but he suddenly found Isabela sitting on his lap, blocking his view of the elf.

“Forget the drinking game, hunk.”, she cooed into his ear, “There are better ways to pass the time.”

“Agreed.”, Finn said and saw her smile flash across her voluptuous lips, “But you, dear, are way too drunk for any of them.”

She pouted and Finn saw Fenris jump to his feet, then leave the Hanged Man.

“Baby, I gotta go.”, he said, pushing Isabela off his lap and ignored Varric’s call, “Hey, if you leave, I win!”

When he reached the door, he thought to hear the dwarf add: “Well, you obviously got more important things to win…”

This much was true and Finn had to fight for control as the chilly night air hit his skin. Quickly, he grew a little more sober although he had not been as drunk as he had them all believe he was. If years in the Circle had told him anything, then this was that drunken disguise changed a lot of rules, if not all of them. So he had used this to his advantage and had had planned to do this tonight with Fenris, luring him. But now Fenris had left, ruined his plan. He had to find him!

The elf was not far ahead and when Finn caught up to him, he heard Fenris mumbled in another tongue. Arcanum, he realised and also understood some of the words, none of them being what he would have called nice.

“Stop cursing, it’s not polite to just storm off.”, he said, startling Fenris who spun around to him and glared at him, ready to attack, defend himself. When he obviously recognised Finn, he relaxed and it made him smile. Now, when Fenris was relaxed around him that was his opportunity to strike. And he would.

“You are drunk.”, Fenris stated and Finn shrugged as he replied, “So what? You’re too.”

“A bit.”, Fenris admitted through gritted teeth and Finn could not help but think that his quick and angry exit was related to Isabela having sat on his lap. Jealousy, again? Wow, to say he was happy with that would have been an understatement, but he did not let anything on, or so he hoped and approached Fenris, slurring his speech on purpose: “So, why did you leave so quickly? Jumping to your feet that fast was…impressive.”

He saw Fenris’ face darken and thought that it came from a little blush but in the dim light of Lowtown at night he could not say for sure. The elf looked up at him, still glaring and scowling, although he did not answer. Yet, his bearings spoke volumes.

Finn saw him tremble lightly, his lips firmly pressed together and his eyes narrowed. He was nervous, but there was a glitter in those green depths of his that spoke of anger and something else, something that had only had the chance to be there, so obvious, because Fenris was already tipsy.

“Why did you run?”, he asked again, whining on purpose and as Fenris answered, he felt his breath on his neck, smelled the tart wine he had drunk before, “I did not run.”

“Of course you did.”, Finn chuckled and took another step into Fenris’ direction, surprised that he had not been stopped yet. The elf was almost with his back against a wall now and Finn had no intention of letting him run again, “Tell me. Why did you run? From me?”

„No.“, Fenris insisted harshly, but Finn knew that this had been a confession. And so did Fenris, who now averted his eyes and tried to push past Finn, but he did not allow this, instead grabbed his arms.

Gasping and too slow because of the wine, Fenris looked at him, eyes wide, but Finn took action before the elf could stop him. He was not nearly as drunk as he made him believe, but obviously more than he had thought, because he leaned down and pressed his lips to Fenris’. Savouring the taste of wine mixed with what had to be Fenris’ own taste, Finn gently nibbled at those lips, a bit chapped, but softer than he had imagined them to be.

Fenris froze under his touch, but Finn could not stop, not now, not when he finally had the opportunity to taste him. As his tongue licked the elf’s lips, he suddenly melted and kissed back, hesitatingly, but he did. Finn was already panting heavily, but his desire completely took him over and before he knew that he was now doing what he had warned Anders against, he ravished Fenris’ mouth, taking full advantage of this opportunity.

When he felt the tip of the elf’s tongue at his own, Finn shuddered in pleasure and had to draw back a bit, desperate for air, but even more desperate for his touch, his kiss.

“Fenris…”, he whispered, gently raising one hand to the elf’s face. And he immediately learned that this had been a mistake.

Fenris’ wide eyes suddenly narrowed, almost choking all the beautiful green in them and only leaving a vicious glare. The soft glowing of his Lyrium markings came to life with a bright flash of light and then…Finn choked.

Looking down in fear and sheer panic, Finn saw Fenris’ fist in his chest and felt strong finger squash his heart. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. So he only stared at Fenris, his mouth agape and terror filling him from head to toe. He was going to die.

“Don’t…”, he somehow managed to whisper and suddenly, Fenris let go off him. Finn dropped to his knees, panting heavily. His heart raced and ached, burnt like bruised skin and so he quickly cast a healing spell, felt the comforting warmth that healed his wound. At least the fleshly wound, but he was hurt more deeply by the fact that Fenris had tried to kill him.

Staring at the dirty floor beneath him, he heard the elf churn out something that sounded faintly like a sob, then he ran away. And Finn could not really blame him because sitting there on the ground, panting, he realised he had crossed a line that Fenris would not forgive him crossing without his permission.

Closing his eyes and trying to calm his racing heart, he leaned back against the wall he had just pushed and kissed Fenris against and closed his eyes. Realising that he maybe had fucked up everything, Finn cursed: “Shit…”


	11. Chapter 11

Three months. Or years? It sure as a blight felt like that long, but Finn knew that it had only been three days since this disastrous incident near the Hanged Man.

Unconsciously he touched his lips and allowed himself to dwell in this far too short moment when Fenris had kissed him back. Before it all had gone sideways.

“Fuck…”, he grumbled and rubbed his chest, again unconsciously, exactly the spot where Fenris had dug his fist into his chest, squeezed his heart of everything. Finn had never ever felt such pain, he had not even thought this whole trick possible, not even after Anders had told him about it and he had seen Fenris glow. He just had not believed it right until the moment he had felt the elf’s hand in his chest, holding his heart tightly with such force it had begun to stumble and would have stopped any second.

“Andrastes ass…”, he cursed under his breath and ignored the Hightown girl that gave him an indignant look, as did her suitor.

“What?”, he barked at them and saw them both wince. That was the moment when he decided that those two idiots didn’t deserve his angered temper, so instead, he gave them a smug smirk and advised the pale boy: “I bet Andraste liked her ass, but many girls don’t. Just show her you like her ass, that’ll help you get under her skirt.”

Blank stares answered him, so he impatiently added: “Smack it, Maker’s balls, it can’t be that difficult.”

Grinning, he saw how the boy really considered doing this, but he did not creep around long enough to see the outcome. He had to do something, something important, that, if it all went wrong yet again, could potentially get him killed.

So what?, he asked himself and knew because of a long talk to Marie that Fenris was worth the try. He had known that before, but after his rightful shock of almost having his heart crushed to pulp, he had needed her to get perspective again. And she had helped him, had been the best wish-for sister he could have found in the entirety of Thedas.

She had slipped him some information and he hoped that this would be what would haul his ass out of that really bad place he had gotten it in. Looking around, Finn climbed a stair and then found himself in front of a damn mansion. Not just any mansion, no, one of the really big ones, even big for fancy Hightown. And it was Fenris’. Dammit.

For a moment, he was dumbstruck and did not even know how to knock. Should he simply knock on the door, should he use that fancy door knocker? Would such a knock even by audible in that damn big mansion? He had no idea, so Finn simply knocked. Alas, he was not surprise whatsoever as he got no response. Still, he tried again, biting his lip in consideration. Should he risk invading Fenris’ personal space yet again? He knew he had done so before and it had almost gotten him killed, but by the blight, Fenris’ personal space was where he wanted to be!

So, pacing up and down in front of the mansion, he gave the whole idea some thought, then looked down at the bottle of red wine he had bought. Hadn’t been cheap. And Fenris was what he wanted, a riddle he wanted to solve.

He’s more than that. The though hit him suddenly and made him freeze in mid-movement. But it was true, he could not deny it, neither did he want to. He had learnt respect for the elf during the few occasions when they had met and he was sure that he hid something, many things. Fenris always kept his distance from everyone, but Finn was not willing to accept this, at least not without a proper reason for this.

He longed for intimacy, not just a fling he could have had with anyone – Isabela for example – but wanted something deeper. As he blankly stared at the door of Fenris’ mansion, he finally understood that something about this elf made him feel that he desired the same thing, that they were equals, were alike despite all the obvious differences.

This thought snapped him out of his dark consideration and whipped him back to the door. Finn knocked again, but as there was still no response, he simply tried the door knob. He scowled when the door opened and a shudder crept down his spine.

“Fenris?”, he asked and then repeated the elf’s name, louder this time. No response. Shit.

„Fenris?!“, when he asked the third time, Finn’s voice was already harsh, raspy and trembled with concern. Honestly, what on earth should happen to a skilled fighter who could penetrate intruders not only with his broadsword, but also his bare hands, rip them apart even unarmed? He did not know, but he was afraid to find out.

Running up the stairs, realising all the debris Marie had told him about, Finn rushed to the only room Fenris used. Again, Marie had told him this and he was thankful, silently vowing that he would make her next birthday the best she ever had when he slid to a halt in front of the door to this very room. Fenris just sat there, staring into the flames of his fireplace. Bastard.

Finn was so relieved, he panted silently with his eyes closed, but they snapped open again when Fenris quietly said: “I do not wish to talk to you.”

“Forget it.”, Finn stated bluntly, “If you don’t wanna talk, fine, then shut it. But listen to me.”

The elf did not react, just ignored him, so Finn took a deep breath and said: “I am sorry, Fenris.”

His head snapped in his direction and Finn grinned: “Not what you expected, huh?”

“Yes, joke. This is your answer to everything, is it not?”, Fenris grimaced at this and the frown did not disappear even as he had already turned back to the flames.

“Listen, I am sorry I crossed a line. I shouldn’t have.”, Finn added and again, Fenris did not react in any way, just kept staring, „I am here to apologise for that. It wasn’t my place and I am sorry I angered you.”

Still, Fenris looked into the flames, so Finn playfully told him: “Plus, I brought wine.”

This brought him a reaction, Fenris’ frown furious, bewildered and amused, all at the same time. It made Finn chuckle as he raised the bottle of red wine for him to see and explained: “Not exactly Aggregio Pavali, but at least from Antiva. You care for a sip?”

Now he would see what Marie’s information was worth. The frown deepened, but then it gave way to a cautious smile and Fenris said: “Sure. Have a seat.”

I was worth quite something and so Finn grinned and sat down on the wooden bench in front of the fireplace, waiting for Fenris to return with two cups. He clearly realised that the elf sat down a fair distance away from him and he could not blame Fenris, but still it was not pleasant.

He silently poured the wine and when he handed Fenris his cup he purposely made their fingers touch. Pleased, he felt Fenris wince, but he hated the pain in those green eyes. Where did that come from?

Fenris blinked only once, broke their gazes and then slowly, his eyes again watching the flames, he said: “I have to apologise as well. I…overreacted and endangered your life. For this I am sorry and the only vindication I can offer is that you caught me off guard. I…was not myself.”

“And drunk.”, Finn added with a smirk that won him a low chuckle from Fenris, “Yes, and drunk. As were you.”

Finn snorted and this got Fenris’ attention, his brows knit and distrust in his eyes.

“I was a bit tipsy, granted, but…”, Finn drawled and looked straight into Fenris’ green eyes, “I wasn’t that drunk. I was fully aware of what I did. And I enjoyed it.”

A furious glare out of those most beautifully green eyes hit him, but nevertheless, Finn bluntly said: “I’m sorry for crossing a line, but I’m not sorry for kissing you.”

Fenris froze, his eyes staring at Finn in shock, so he added: “It felt way too damn good to regret it. And part of me thinks…you enjoyed this too.”

“No.”, Fenris spoke through gritted teeth, averting his eyes and repeating the same word a few times, “No, no, no. No.”

Finn warily raised an eyebrow because he really was not sure who Fenris was trying to convince here. Finn…? Or himself?

„Look.“, Finn said, but the elf still hid his face from him, „I don’t know why this freaked you out so much, but sticking your fist in a man’s chest isn’t a solution for this. There are other ways to get rid of tension.”

“Don’t dare to give me this innuendo again.”, Fenris snarled and Finn was taken aback before he smiled and genuinely said: “Sorry, I really wasn’t thinking of that. No, honestly. It’s just…I know what it is like to have a lot of baggage with you. Trust me on this, you have to get rid of this somehow.”

“You do not know me.”, Fenris growled lowly and Finn shrugged as he admitted: “True, but you and I, we aren’t that different…”

“We are nothing alike!”, the elf insisted, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper. Finn’s voice, in contrast, raised as he shouted an answer: “We are everything alike!”

For a moment, they stared at each other, then Finn said in a huff: “You were born an elf, I was born a mage. You were kept a slave by a magister, I was held by Templars. We both don’t deserve what we experienced, whatever it is in your case. We both had to do things we resented because it had “always been like that”. And we both still need crutches to live a semi-normal life after all that shit they put us through. For me, it’s stupid jokes and a gentle touch, for you it’s anger. We are everything alike!”

Sometime during his rant, Finn had jumped to his feet. He did not even remember, but now he was staring down at Fenris, panting heavily. Only slowly and reluctantly, he saw the shocked surprise in the elf’s eyes and he quietly sat down again to take a few deep breaths, just to calm down again. He looked at Fenris next to him, expecting to see him still shocked and disbelieving, ready to apologise yet again…when the elf gave him an appreciative look out of those greenest eyes.

Dumbfounded, Finn’s eyes widened and a diminutive smile adorned Fenris’ lips as he said: “I can appreciate this view of yours. Not what you expected, correct?”

Finn was surprised to hear his own words used against him and so he burst out into laughter: “No, absolutely not what I expected!”

“Good.”, Fenris stated and nodded at him, then sipped more wine. Looking at the flames again, he slowly said: “You are right about many things, I have to acknowledge that. But it is…difficult, to say the least. Many mages I got to know over the recent years were not at all able to change my opinion. I have learned that magic is useful, Anders’ skills have saved Hawke and me, all of us, many a time and I will not dismiss this foolishly. But the mages I know are dangerous. Anders, Merrill, my former master.”

„I don’t think it’s fair to mention your former master in one breath with Merrill and Anders.“, Finn threw in and Fenris tensed for a moment, obviously ready to object. But then he took another sip of wine and admitted: “True, it is not fair. But they are all dangerous.”

Finn hesitated for a moment, but then asked the question that danced on the tip of his tongue anyway: “Am I dangerous, too?”

Fenris gave him a long look, the saddest he had seen him wear so far and it shocked him.

“Are you dangerous in general? Yes.”, Fenris stated and his gaze even intensified, „Are you dangerous for me? Very much so.”

He averted his eyes and then hoarsely he added: “More than any man had ever been.”

Finn gulped, his mouth dry as he managed to say: “Fenris…”

“Don’t.”, the elf asked of him and swiftly got up, “Thank you for the wine, Finn. And I have to thank you even more for giving me a new perspective. I am not angry at you anymore.”

“But he wasn’t too eager about him being here either, this Finn read between the words. Sighing, he got up and stood close to Fenris on purpose. He did not even flinch, did not react in any way, just stood there and looked up at him, green meeting grey.

“Fenris…”, he began anew, just now realising how much his voice sounded just like it had after their kiss in that alley.

“Don’t.”, Fenris said again, “I know you have questions, but I do not wish to answer them. At least for now. But believe me when I tell you that you are…closer to those answers than anyone else I know.”

He did not know why, but he had to ask: “Does Marie know them?”

The smile on Fenris’ lips grew bitter when he said: “No. No one knows except for those who…were there. I have never told a single soul.”

This made him gulp again because how bad would it have to be so that a man like Fenris would not dare speak of it? He knew the answer to that, already, very bad, like life-shatteringly bad.

“Alright…”, he slowly whispered and Fenris said: “Thank you for the wine. Whenever Marie needs me on her missions, I will be there. And I know that I can trust the magic you cast.”

Normally, Finn would have given a dirty joke about all the magic he could cast with his hands, tongue and loins, but right now, his mind was blank of such nonsense. Feeling numb, he simply followed when Fenris escorted him back to the front door and when he looked back, he saw the elf standing there, worry in his eyes and…longing.

“Wait.”, he asked, but Fenris gently shook his head, “Not tonight, Finn.”

With this, the door was shut in front of his nose ad Finn was left there in the alley in Hightown, dumbstruck and worried. He was not the slightest bit angry, but he wished he was, because right now, fear gnawed away at him. What had the elf experienced that made him shy away from everything and everyone?

Slowly and still feeling numb, Finn made his way back to Darktown, the thoughts spinning in his head. Before he had visited Fenris tonight, the man had been a damn riddle. Now, he still was, but somehow it had gotten personal.

Finn wanted to know everything about him and as Marie had told him and as he already had learnt, Fenris needed to trust him for this.

He was worth the trouble. He truly was.


	12. Chapter 12

“I am truly glad you made it.”, Marie greeted him and as Finn looked into the enormous room that her servant Bodahn had called the “small parlour”, he had to gather his senses before he managed to reply, “Well, lovely, so am I.”

She chuckled lightly and this brought him back to this, to her. They had business to talk about and he could tell from her stern look that she wanted to get down to it, but for a moment, he did not care and hugged her tightly. She stiffened in a fashion very similar to Fenris’ and this thought almost made him choke with worry for the elf, but he swallowed it. With a grin, he looked down at Marie and explained playfully: “There’s always time for a proper greeting.”

“Indeed.”, she smiled, but it was weary and Finn nodded at her, now quickly sobered, “What’s wrong?”

“Blazes if I know!”, she snorted and this made him chuckle darkly, but Marie shook her head and gestured him to take a seat. Uncomfortably, he did so and felt unease in the comfiest chair he had ever sat in. She opened and closed her fists in rapid sequence, however, she kept silent. Until Finn could not bear this tension anymore and grabbed her hands in his far bigger ones. She winced and it made him think that even though she was the Champion of Kirkwall and a skilled fighter, she still was a small and tender woman. A girl he wanted to protect with all his heart, because he loved his “little sister” although they had only known for a few weeks by now.

“What’s wrong? You’re alarmingly pale, love.”, he muttered.

„I…“, she stuttered, but then took a deep breath, regained her composure and as a completely different, curtly woman she told him, „I received a request from First Enchanter Orsino and I am not sure what to make of it.”

“Kick it in the bin.”, Finn suggested snorting, but he was harshly cut off when Marie told him, “No. It regards the mages of the Gallows, I cannot ignore this.”

“Where have you been all my life?”, he asked with a longing grin and it took her a few seconds to figure out he was joking. In part, at least.

“I know magic runs in your family, but why risk so much for us?”, he asked her, because Finn had to know.

“Because what is happening here, what has happened over centuries on end is wrong.”, Marie determinedly stated, “Mages are more dangerous because they are more powerful than most people are, but that does not automatically make them a threat. Fear does, oppression does. My father was free and never hurt a single soul, Merrill is, Anders is. My sister was. If me being the Champion does at least mean anything, I will throw all of it into this fight if there is the chance it would tip the scales in our favour.”

“You said “our” favour…”, Finn mumbled, “I like that, lovely.”

Now Marie giggled and it was a wonderful sound, something that made his heart jump with joy now that he had not seen Fenris in weeks. Yes, he had caught one glance or the other, there had been a few missions together with Hawke by their sides, but other than that, the elf had avoided him. And slowly, but surely, this was eating Finn up. He needed something else to focus on. So he said: “I’m all ears, girl. Tell me what you’ll have me do for you and I will. Anything.”

Maker, he even meant that! Never had he given such a promise to anyone and he could only imagine two other people he would swear such an oath to, Anders and Fenris. No one else.

“I need your knowledge.”, Marie said slowly, “You know people in the Gallows, mages and Templars alike, and I have to make use of this fact.”

“Alright, not bad.”; Finn said and shrugged, but her face was still so stern, he asked in concern, “What else do you need?”

“Your secrecy.”, she ground out, “Not a single word to Anders. I mean it, Finn.”

He arched an eyebrow, but kept silent in his surprise and simply nodded at her to urge her on. Relieved, Marie took a deep breath and then explained: “Orsino is afraid that some of the mages resorted to blood magic, but he has no proof and would rather have me look into it than Meredith.”

“So do I!”, Finn agreed with the old man for once and Marie smiled for a short moment, but she was still agitated when she continued: “He told me of a meeting of some of the mages he suspected and asked me to go there, just to check. This meeting is in an alley here in Hightown and I will go there. I just…want you to be there with me. I rely on you, I trust you with my life if this all goes…sideways. And if we are discovered, I would think it very useful that you might know those mages Orsino suspects of blood magic.”

“I like your plan.”, Finn nodded with a smile and then joked, “Apart from the immediate danger to our lives, that is.”

This made her chuckle, which was exactly what he had gone for. But he was curious, so he asked: “I know I’m useful, just ‘couse I’m a mage…”

“You’re more than that!”, Marie harshly interrupted him and he was dumbstruck. She had always been a real lady, held up her composure, but now…she was strained. She drew a ragged breath and apologised: “I am sorry, Finn, I am worried about my brother.”

“Why?”, he enquired and Marie let out a sigh, “He hasn’t come home last night. He has done that at rare occasion before, but it is not like him, so I am a bit on edge. Aveline has not seen him on his watch, which is really not like him. And neither has…Isabela seen him.”

“The kid and Isabela?”, he asked with a disbelieving snicker, “No way!”

She shrugged: “I have no idea. I just thought…well, where would a young man go if he is not home?”

“To a woman.”, Finn agreed and she hesitated, but then nodded: “That’s what I thought, so…”

“If he has, he’s not with Isabela, lovely.”, he drawled with a grin and for a moment, Finn enjoyed Marie’s puzzled look, he could almost hear her mind working, but she did not find the answer. When she opened her mouth to speak, he scooped her: “Merrill.”

“Merrill?!”, she blinked at him and Finn had to laugh until tears blurred his vision, “Yes, Merrill, sweet, innocent Merrill, everybody’s darling blood mage. I’m sure.”

“Wow…”, Marie whispered, but quickly got to her feet when she heard Bodahn talk to another guest. She shot Finn a quick glance and he frowned because he thought that he had seen concern in the icy blue, yet warm eyes of hers. Wha…?

He got his answer when the guest entered the parlour. Fenris.

For a moment, the two of them just stared at each other and Finn’s heart dropped again as he saw those damn sad puppy eyes. The elf may deny all he wanted, he had puppy eyes.

“G-good evening, Finn.”, he said and Finn was not sure whether he had only imagined his deep, raspy voice to quiver or whether it had for real.

“Thank you for joining us, Fenris.”, Marie greeted him and it took both men a long moment of silence before they looked at her as she said, “The meeting I told you about will begin in half an hour, we still have time left.”

Finn’s brows shot up and Marie gave him a sly smile then explained: “I do realise that Fenris is not the mage-friendliest man around, if this was what you wanted to ask.”

“Nope.”, Finn shrugged, “Just wanted to know the colour of his briefs.”

“Not you too…”, Fenris groaned, which made Finn shoot him an indignant look and the elf sighed. With a wry smile, he explained: “Isabela has been pestering me about this for ages now. I still have not told her.”

The slight scowl on Fenris’ face told him that he had not wanted to add this bit of information, but it made Finn happy that he had. Marie’s eyes jumped from one to the other, completely lost…or maybe not so much, Finn thought, because that minx had once before given him an opportunity to talk to Fenris. He had returned the favour and now just wanted to tease her: “How’s Anders?”

His broad grin faded as he saw how her face fell.

“What did he do?”, Finn growled, jumping to his feet, “Marie?”

“Nothing.”, she said and he truly believed her, “Nothing at all.”

“Idiot…”, Finn cursed, “I will have to beat the crap outta him as soon as I get back.”

“Could you also beat some sense into him instead, while you are at it?”, Fenris asked dryly and Finn stared at him for a moment, then burst into laughter. This man…was wonderful. Dry, intelligent and even humorous if he wanted to.

They exchanged a smile, only for the blink of an eye, but it was worth so much more. When the moment faded, Fenris looked away and asked Marie: “Where did you say this alley was?”

“Near the mansion of the de Launcet family.”, she answered, but upon Finn’s groan added with a wink at him, “Don’t worry, Emile’s not home.”

“I sure hope so!”, he said and followed Marie to the door, but was startled as it flew open. Merrill stumbled in, tripping over her own feet and falling…if she had not bumped directly into Finn who now caught her in his arms, who chuckled: “Easy, sweetie, no need to swoon all over me.”

She smiled for a moment and Finn was sure she had no idea whatsoever of what he had just said, but Fenris’ enervated groan made him know that the elven warrior did. With a smile, he put Merrill up on her naked feet again and she panted as if she had run. She merely caught her breath to ask: “Hawke, have you seen Carver?”

“No.”, Marie said and tensed, but after a glance to Finn, added, “I thought…he was with you.”

“He was.”, she said and a blush filled her pale cheeks, “Yesterday, but he left in the evening. He promised to come back, help me fix that shelf the rats ruined. But he did not come so I thought he forgot.”

“Merrill, come with us.”, Marie ordered, suddenly strained even more and Finn knew why. Her brother was missing, she had no idea where he was.

“Where are we going?”, the elven girl asked with a smile, but Marie snarled orders, “To a meeting of mages, not a single word to Anders.”

Merrill tensed as she heard this, but Finn caringly put one arm around her small shoulders and whispered to her, “Don’t worry, she’s not angry at you.”

Merrill exhaled in relief, but Finn could see Fenris shooting him a glare and to be honest, he was happy with that because it screamed “jealous, brooding elf” so loudly it was almost deafening. But he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Right until Marie lowly growled: “We are giving Carver time to come home. If he hasn’t when we’re back, I will look for him and may the Maker have mercy on his soul then!”

She was pissed, a state in which Finn had not seen her before. It was damn sexy, he had to admit that even with Fenris next to him and glaring. But most of all, he was concerned. He really hoped that Carver would be home. Marie would tear him a new one, but that was way better than many other possibilities in the pit that was Kirkwall.


	13. Chapter 13

Minutes after Marie had lost her temper and cursed at her little brother, she was still boiling with rage on the inside, Finn could almost feel the angry heat rush from her body. Through gritted teeth, she told them: “Two more turns, then we’re there. They will…”

“Stop.”, Finn demanded of her and grabbed Marie’s arm. Which was a mistake in her current state, he should have known that. But alas, he didn’t, so her raised hand would surely hit him square in the jaw. He prepared for the pain and was dumbfounded when it did not explode in his face. Slowly, he opened one eye, then the other and saw her in front of him, she had stopped in the very last moment, now shock in her icy blue eyes.

“Finn…”, she whispered in terror and backed away, but he did not let her go, simply pulled her even closer despite the armour, “Finn, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know, lovely.”, he told her and slowly pushed her at arm’s length before he stated, “But you really need to cool down. If you run in there with that temper, you’re not gonna find anything, you’ll just blow that whole secrecy you asked of me.”

“Indeed. I am terribly sorry.”, she said, but Finn gently put a fair blonde strand of hair behind her ear, the only bolter from that tight bun she held her hair hostage in. He really wondered how she would look with her hair down, but the answer to this would have to wait: “Calm down, Marie, the mages don’t deserve your anger unless they really did do something wrong.”

She nodded slowly and took a deep breath to calm down, but he teased her: “Save that fury for Carver, he deserves what he’s gonna get from you.”

This made her chuckle lightly and was exactly what he had aimed for.

“Ready?”, he asked and Marie nodded, but spoke in the same moment: “You have a plan.”

It was no question and he nodded as he had indeed: “Yeah. Stay put, only observe. I hate to admit it, but for once Orsino’s right, we should only watch. And be prepared to act if we have to.”

Again she nodded and Fenris asked, seemingly calm: “And when do you think we have to? It is a rather elastic term.”

Finn grinned at him, but then soberly answered: “When there is a sign that they really are using blood magic or are planning to overthrow everything. I couldn’t blame them if they wished Meredith that, bitch deserves it, but all mages in the Gallows would do well taking her out in a reasonable fashion.”

“She is far beyond reason, you know this.”, Marie gravely added and Finn had to nod, could not deny it, still he forced himself to say, “True, but still, a simple riot won’t do anything. The Quanri tried this, many mages throughout the history of the Gallows ad the Tower in Ferelden did that, but it’s worth nothing if there’s no plan, no order in this. An aimed strike, this is what we need.”

Marie only nodded, then a grim smile spread on her lips and Finn knew without a doubt that this woman would stand by his side when the time would come. And he would stand by hers, came blight or high water.

Merrill stared at him, her eyes wide and he gave her a crooked smile. His real concern was Fenris. They had somehow formed mutual respect, but Fenris’ hatred for mages would stand between them as Finn was a mage after all. His heart pounding louder and faster than he was willing to admit, Finn looked into the elf’s eyes…and found grim determination there.

“It is…a reasonable tactic.”, Fenris slowly said and Finn chuckled; he would not win a more flattering compliment for his views from him. It would have to do and it would do.

“So we will stay put. Let’s go.”, Marie ordered and together they entered one of the back alleys. Good old Hightown had a plethora of opportunities to hide, the bad things was that Finn did not know them as well as the corners and crannies in Darktown. Grumbling to himself, he looked for a possibility to hide when Fenris showed them one: “In here.”

It was a lumber-room, only half full with of firewood as winter was nowhere near. There was a small window in it and it gave them a perfect view of the people in the alley.

“Do you recognise any of them?”, Marie whispered over her shoulders, standing right in front of the window. Merrill was right beside her, the two women equally tall. A slightly taller Fenris was standing behind them and Finn, being by far the tallest of them all, stood behind Fenris. As if this was not already making him nervous enough, no he also had to think clearly – impossible – and also bend a little forward closer to Marie to whisper next to her ear. This brought him also closer to Fenris, so close he could smell the elf although his face was right next to Marie’s: “All of them. There’s Aidan, Clementine, the savvy little redhead, the brunette’s Fiona who’s a great healer and a fire between the sheets, there’s…”

Finn fell silent, but not only because he saw Fenris glow, the darkness in the lumber-room just a tint brighter in the typical blueish white of glowing Lyrium. He basked in the knowledge that his little episode with Fiona bothered Fenris, but honestly…he was totally occupied with the fact that a lot of Templars had just entered the alley…and none of the mages fled.

“How in the Maker’s name…?”, Marie whispered and Finn could practically hear Fenris’ frown. Merrill, however, was not this quiet: “I don’t get it. Don’t Templars hunt down mages, especially blood mages? If Orsino said that they we’re all blood mages then why…?”

“No idea, sweetie.”, Finn mumbled and watched one of the Templars approach Clementine, “But we’ll find out. If Clementine is involved in this, there’s rhyme and reason to it.”

“That’s Keran.”, Marie whispered and then addressed Finn, “He was kidnapped by blood mages trying to make him an abomination, we saved him.”

“Wow…”, was everything Finn could muster for a moment, but then he wheezed, “That kid is the sanest bloody Templar I’ve ever met. And I met my fill of those, believe me.”

They all watched closely and Finn slowly got the impression that…

“They are working together.”, Fenris said right beside him, so close Finn could feel the elf’s breath on his cheek. He shuddered for a moment, ordering his libido to calm down, Andrastes tits, and then agreed, “They are. What for?”

“Meredith.”, Marie said in grim determination and Finn looked at her in confusion, so she said, “This is a coup, they are planning to overthrow her.”

“Agreed. This is the sanest explanation.”, Fenris stated, but then chuckled dryly and added, “As far as anything in this town can be regarded sane.”

Sudden commotion arose and Hawke decided: “Out! We have to hear them.”

Without hesitation, Marie and Fenris dashed for the door, so Finn had no other choice than follow them. So he did, but was relieved when he ran into them both around the next corner, still not visible to the assembled mages and Templars of the Gallows.

“You did what?!”, Keran yelled at no one specifically or so it seemed when Finn winced because of the shock and anger in the Templar’s voice, “Maker have mercy… Aidan, this will cost us this whole operation, do you understand that?”

A muffled response was heard, not loud enough for Finn to make out distinct words, but the groan that followed, he could read. Keran was pissed…and terrified.

“Aidan, you fool.”, Clementine said and now Finn had to nod at Marie as he agreed, but she did not react, simply harkened for anything further they said. And froze in the very same moment Finn did: “We have to find the Champion.”

Fenris mumbled a few words under his breath and then glared at Hawke, vowing: “They will not get to you.”

“I know.”, she answered and Finn could see that they shared an understanding he could only wish for. But as he saw the determination in their eyes, he whispered harshly: “Don’t. I don’t want them dead, those are friends, I…”

“Shut it.”, Fenris ordered and a cold shiver trickled down Finn’s spine. The elf gave him a long look into his eyes and they were so full of emotion, of thoughts. They hit Finn all at once, annoyance, determination…sympathy, understanding…and hurt.

By the time he had slowly blinked himself to consciousness again, he only heard that Keran and Clementine were coming their way and could do nothing more but tense when Fenris and Marie confronted them. They all drew their weapons, Clementine instantly having a ball of ice in her hand.

“You needed to find me, here I am.”, Marie told them agitatedly, “Now tell me what in the Maker’s name is going on.”

Keran had frozen and in the very same moment his eyes met Finn’s, Clementine asked: “Finn? What are you doing here?”

“Fighting alongside the Champion.”, he retorted, “And I think we’re fighting for one and the same thing. What happened there?”

Shaking his head, Keran sheathed his blade again and sighed deeply before asking: “Serah, please put your weapon away. This will be…not easy.”

Finn saw her arch an eyebrow, but she did as she was asked, however, Fenris’ broadsword stayed where it was. Clementine gave him an indignant look that Fenris retorted, his head cocked to the side slightly and Finn grinned: “What did you expect? You asked her to put the sword away, not him. And don’t even try, he won’t hear you. He’s a little protective.”

A side glance hit him out of green eyes and Finn realised that this was true. Fenris was protective…and it made him tingle all over that he was standing right next to Hawke, but in front of him, protecting him.

“Fine…”, Clementine ground out, but Keran covered her balled fist with his hand, far too gently for a Templar keeping a watchful eye on a mage. But maybe it had become a lustful eye, he surely had no reason to blame the lad, Clementine was young and pretty.

Keran then looked at Marie who tried for courtesy, but nevertheless snarled: “Speak.”

“Serah, this group was formed by Ser Thrask in order to overthrow Meredith. The Gallows have become a prison, the Order in Kirkwall a miserable rip-off of what it was supposed to be. So we decided that we could only live together if we learned to respect each other. So selected Templars and mages work together to combine our efforts and not simply revolt, but change things for the better with combined strength and a plan.”

Finn could only stare at the lad then at Clementine until he whispered: “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“No.”, Clementine shook her head, “This is real. This is what we could have done without all this pointless fighting without control or ideas. This is what you wanted…in a refined form.”

Finn was still not believing what he heard, but Marie’s question reached him: “What does she mean?”

“I…I once tried to organise a group, right when I came here.”, he hoarsely told her, although his eyes were fixed onto a dark window, “I had revolted so much back in the Tower, had seen solitary confinement, physical punishment…and learnt that it won’t help, wouldn’t bring anything about. So I tried to find others willing to try, willing to…stop fighting. I was so tired of fighting.”

Everyone looked at him with their brows arched, but no one understood…apart from Fenris. Finn saw perception in those green eyes now widened by shock as the elf gathered that he had tried to end his life. He had been so damn close, but Anders had found him, healed him. No one else knew, but now Fenris did and Finn suddenly felt exposed, naked and very uncomfortable.

Until Fenris slightly bowed at him, sympathy in his eyes. Suddenly, the realisation hit Finn that Fenris knew how it felt to be that helpless.

His thoughts were racing, as was his heart, when Marie’s vigilant question made him wince: “You should know that I would have supported your operation, Keran, you know me. So why were you afraid to tell me?”

“We needed this to work properly before we could tell anyone outside…so to speak. But now it’s lost.”, the Templar said and Finn heard anger in Marie’s voice as she asked: “Why?”

Keran gulped and then blurted out: “Aidan thought you had been hired by Meredith to spy on us and that we needed leverage, so… he and some others abducted your brother.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Where is Carver?”, Marie snarled in such a low growl Finn had never expected to hear such a sound from her. Fenris, yes, surely, but not Marie, the blond, slender woman, even though he knew that she was a skilled warrior. And he had also never anticipated that she would be able to draw her sword as fast as the elf could do it, but she did and demanded: “Where is my brother?!”

Keran and Clementine winced at this sound, but Finn could not blame them for this as he had also jerked.

“Marie…”, he quietly said, but was met with an unforgiving: “Shut up!”

She had not even looked at him, instead she was watching the mage and the Templar in front of her and ordered: “Take me to him now! And pray that no one has touched one single hair on his head.”

Clementine gulped and nodded as did Merrill although she was in no way threatened. However, Finn could empathise with the young elf and so he rested one hand on her shoulder when Keran shakily asked them: “Follow me.”

They did, Marie radiating fury as hot as one of Finn’s best fireballs when the Templar led them all through nightly Hightown, stopping short in front of an old dressmaker’s shop. Marie glared at him and said: “Rualdo died a few months ago.”

Clementine quickly nodded and explained: “Yes, all his children are in the Gallows, two of them mages, one a Templar who joined the Order under a different name to protect her brothers. They were our guides, if you will. Their widowed mother offered this now abandoned place as we were looking for a place to meet. The basement is quite roomy.”

Finn arched an eyebrow at her, but was sure she told the truth. Fenris now watched him and as Finn understood that the elf waited for his decision, he nodded, ridiculous warmth spreading in his chest. Dammit, Carver was in danger and he was swooning over that elf. It was pathetic, but it made him proud that Fenris trusted his decision and simply nodded, accepting Clementine’s words.

“After you.”, Marie told Keran politely, but nevertheless with a sharp tone to her voice and so the Templar let them in, unlocking the door with a key made of brass, then showed them down the stairs. In front of a door he stopped and was only let in after another Templar and a mage had seen both him and Clementine.

“Andrastes ass…”, Finn mumbled with a dark chuckle and told Marie, “Even if I told Anders about this, he wouldn’t believe a single word I’d say.”

“If I was not seeing this with my own eyes…neither would I.”, she retorted and he could only nod, “Well said, lovely.”

“Good you came here, Keran, they’re all…oh Maker.”, the Templar behind the door said, but then stopped as he saw Marie.

“Where is he?”, she asked of him, fury in her eyes that made them glisten like ice. The Templar’s mouth opened and closed, like that of a fish on dry land, then he simply pointed behind himself and Marie stormed off.

“Hawke!”, Merrill called after her, did not reach her though, so Finn grabbed her arm. It was suicidal, he knew this as she had her blade drawn after all, but she stopped short. Relieved, Finn exhaled, but Marie snarled over her shoulder: “Let go of me. No one touches my brother and gets away with it.”

Finn could see Merrill wince at that and he had to grin despite their situation because now he knew that Carver had already gotten some.

“I know, lovely, and I’m gonna tear them a new one with you gladly.”, he told Marie and slowly released her arm, “But calm down before you misunderstand anything. If you storm in there with that look on your face, you’re gonna scare them all shitless.”

“Good.”, she grimly retorted, but at least her pace had slowed down. A bit at least.

When they entered the main hall of the basement, Fenris was at Marie’s side, as was Finn and they overheard a moot: “No, this is not what we intended!”

“Ser Thrask!”, Marie addressed the Templar that had spoken, but Finn only had narrowed eyes for the mage next to him. Grace, that Starkhaven bitch. She eyed him all over, disgust in her eyes, then they fixed on Marie. And a cold shiver ran down Finn’s spine although he could name no reason for it, at least none in particular other than the fact that Grace simply was a cut-throat bitch.

A few feet away from them, Carver lay on a blanket and was completely still. No…

“Carver!”, Merrill shrieked and ran off to the guard’s side, dropped to her knees beside him and already reached for him when she suddenly looked to Marie, unrest in her eyes.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”, Finn asked and ran to her when Marie said: „Help him as good as you can, Merrill, you may touch him, but whoever brought him here will answer for this.”

Gently Merrill touched the lad’s cheek and looked for wounds, but found none, neither did Finn.

“Oh no…”, Merrill whispered and although Marie did not let her glare falter and kept it fixed on Thrask, Finn could hear the quiver in her voice: “What is wrong with him, Merrill? Is he…alive?”

“Yes.”, Thrask answered in the elf’s place, „But I do not know what keeps him sleeping.“

“I do.”, Merrill slowly said and then looked up at Marie, worry in her eyes, “Blood magic.”

“No.”, Thrask said, disbelieving which only won him a furious look out of Fenris’ narrowed eyes, “None of the mages helping us in this is a blood mages.”

“If your allies are handpicked, you should train those hands better.”, Fenris suggested with a growl that almost drowned Merrill’s whispered sob: “Forgive me, I have to.”

Without any hesitation, she cut her palm deeply, blood spurting out between her fingers.

“What are…?”, Finn gasped, as did others. As he saw the elf’s blood vanish into thin air, working blood magic, he spun around, his staff lifted and his own magic vibrating in his veins, ready to defend his friends from all the Templars around. Marie and Fenris both moved to his side, weapons drawn and she told the Templars: “Back off. I do not wish to harm any of you as I approve of your plan concerning Meredith, but he is my brother. If it takes blood magic to undo what blood magic did…so be it!”

Fenris grumbled at this, Finn could hear it, but he did not object for once. Grace stepped forward and this alone made Finn frown, but then she cried: “What do I care for Meredith. I want you, Champion, since you shoved me into the Gallows.”

“You were caught, bitch.”, Finn growled at her, “Because you were too dumb to survive even three nights out there on your own. Don’t you dare spread lies.”

“Oh, it will be a pleasure to take you down with her.”, she said sweetly, far too sweetly and Finn gasped as he understood what happened. Again, a mage turned into an abomination right in front of his eyes. He was sick, so sick of this.

Angrily, he threw a fireball at what had been Grace only moments before and heard her deafening shriek.

“Beware!”, Thrask ordered and challenged the abomination, but Marie and Fenris dashed to his aid, while Finn and Merrill were casting spells. A bunch of mages and Templars helped them, too, although the majority of this oh so revolutionary and brave group had fled immediately.

“Come back, idiots!”, Finn called to them and snorted while boiling up the heat for another fireball, “You wanna defeat Meredith?!”

He expected no answer and did not receive one. Moreover, the abomination trying to kill them was more important at the moment. What had been Grace struck at Fenris who managed to leap out of her reach in the very last split-second. Marie utilised the opportunity and with a fierce blow almost chopped of the abomination’s hand, eliciting an agonized shriek from its lungs.

It plunged forward unexpectedly, so Merrill’s stonefist missed it by far and the abomination grabbed Thrask in one claw as if the experienced Templar was nothing more than a ragdoll.

“No!”, Marie harshly growled, but when the abomination crashed into the opposite stone wall, it squashed Thrask’s body between the stone and itself, mangling him by this with an audible, sickening smack.

Although shocked, they all made use of this opportunity and attacked the creature’s unprotected back, but it spun around and with a war cry fierce and fuelled by hate it threw the corpse in its grip…directly at Finn.

The irrational thought that he had almost been squashed by a dead dragon, but been rescued by Fenris crossed through his mind before he was able to attempt darting off to the side. But it was lost along with every other conscious thought when pain exploded on his chest and he was buried under a dead Templar in full armour. For a long moment, there was only blankness in him, he felt, saw, heard and thought nothing, absolute darkness and silence around him. Then, however, his senses returned and the pain hit him with full force.

“Finn!”, he heard someone yell, maybe Marie, maybe Fenris, he could not tell. The heavy body was lifted from him, this much he understood when suddenly his breathing got a tiny bit easier, but it still hurt like blazes. His ribs were broken, all of them. Nausea overwhelmed him and Finn rolled to the side, just in time to cough up way more blood than he had expected. Not good…

“Finn.”, there was this voice again and now he managed to look up and saw Fenris kneel next to him, panic in his eyes. Well, he had a bloody good reason for that…literally. Finn wanted to say something, joke again, but he could not force any words out of his mouth, he only whimpered and suddenly found his hand in a firm grasp. Warm skin, callous, smooth metal, the tingle of Lyrium…Fenris.

He snickered when he thought that he had pictured their first time holding hands a bit differently, but his snicker turned into a cough and even more blood spurted out, sickened him. With a calmness that should have surprised and frightened him but did not, Finn realised that he was bleeding to death. He would die. And he could not do anything about it, he was already too weak to cast a healing spell. He felt lightheaded despite the pain and was reminded of the day Anders had found him just before he had bleed out after having cut the arteries on his forearms.

Noisy commotion around him only barely reached his mind, but one cry pierced through the mist in his mind: “Do something!”

It was Fenris, still holding his hand tightly, almost bruising it between his long, slender and incredibly strong fingers. Finn heard someone, felt them kneel down beside him and then the warmth of a healing spell surged through his tormented body.

With a gasp, he took a deep breath and just now realised that he had been numb before, close to death because now his whole body hurt like a bloody blight all over.

“He’s stable, just for now.”, Clementine harshly said, her breath ragged from exhaustion, “You have to get him to the Healer.”

“Then let’s go!”, Fenris demanded and Finn was not sure whether his mind was playing a trick on him, but he believed the elf had just picked him up, now carrying him in his arms. He couldn’t…could he? Fenris was a head’s length shorter than him and Finn was almost two metres tall, he was heavy too…but Fenris was still carrying him?

“Wow, you’re dedicated all of a sudden…”, he mumbled, his speech slurred.

“Shut up!”, Fenris snapped, his voice so close Finn thought he had to feel the elf’s breath. And he surely would have, had it not been for the mind-blocking agony in his entire body.

He could not see where they went and he felt sleepy, already drifting off when he heard Fenris mumbled words in Arcanum. He repeated them so to Finn they almost sounded like a prayer and then he finally understood them: “Do not die. Please.”

He was trying, this much his elf could count on after having said these words.


	15. Chapter 15

Blur. Voices. The smell of sulphur. Pain…oh Maker, the pain. Touches, the warmth of healing magic, hands on his face, a gentle touch, on his chest, magic, smooth and warm metal and skin touching his fingers…also his cheek?

He could not tell, everything was a blur to him and although he did not know for how long this had went on, Finn was absolutely sure that it had been a far too long time for his liking. When the mist on his mind slowly lifted, he could at least understand some words occasionally, could open his eyes for moments. Or at least he thought that he was opening them, but he could not say for sure as what he saw mixed with his dreams.

Marie, touching his cheek, Anders, cursing at him in a low tone full of concern, Merrill taking his hand and sobbing that he should get well soon. Fenris, speaking in Arcanum, telling him stories of luscious, green field and blue skies, of a ginger girl he did not remember anymore. He had to be dreaming, right?

When he finally opened his eyes and was able to keep them that way, he decided that he now really was fully awake and groaned from the pain, dull but still present in his chest.

“Blessed Andraste!”, he heard Anders sigh and tried hard to turn his head to look at his friend. As he did this, he also saw Fenris. He was still here? How much time had gone by?

A lot, he decided as he saw Anders‘ ashen face, the worry lines engraved deeper into his face than they had ever been. But Finn nevertheless sat up and looked at Fenris who was slowly getting up from another bench where he had sat. He had once seen the elf awaken on their missions with Marie and knew that he had slept right until now. Here, about two paces away from him. That was dedication.

Unwillingly, a broad grin spread on his lips and Anders barked: “Yeah, you grin, idiot! You really got me worried!”

“But I’m alive, ain’t I?”, he retorted.

„You are.“, Anders said, „No thanks to you. Marie and Fenris brought you here.“

Slowly, Finn remembered that the elf had carried him, had pleaded him not to die. And he did not.

“…two days ago.”, was all he caught from Anders‘ exhausted ranting and he winced, which shot a bolt of pain through him, but he nevertheless asked, „Wait, what? I was out two days?!”

“Three.”, Fenris corrected flatly and his voice was hoarse, „You slept for three days, thrashing around in nightmares.“

Finn stared at him blankly and could not believe what he had just heard.

“Three days?”, he then mouthed, blinking in disbelief, “Oh shit…”

“You can say that again.”, Anders chimed in, “Really got me worried. I used all the mana I had left after a day here at the clinic and Hawke would’ve shoved a Lyrium potion down my throat if I hadn’t grabbed it myself. You idiot.”

“How is this my fault?”, Finn complained and winced when the cracked ribs still hurt. Anders glared at him with an angry look in his eyes he had thought only Fenris could pull off. Then his friend said tiredly: “Marie stayed at your side during the first night as did…”

“As you speak of Hawke.”, Fenris interrupted the Healer harshly, “I will tell her that you have awoken, Finn.”

With that, he rushed to the door and Finn could only blink, stare at the spot where the elf left the clinic. Before he closed the door behind him, Fenris looked Finn straight in the eye. He did not smile, did not say anything…and yet so much within just this one gaze. They would talk, later though. And Finn really hoped to get the chance to do more than just talk.

With a stupid grin on his face that was plastered there, Anders’ harsh words tore him out of his rapture: “Finally…I thought he’d never get his ass out! He was here all the while you were unconscious.”

“Huh?”, Finn mumbled and looked up at Anders, who shook his head and took one big step towards him, then cupped his face in his warm, gentle hands and pressed a kiss onto Finn’s hair.

“You idiot.”, the healer mumbled, not letting Finn go, but instead holding him tightly, “You bloody fool. What were you thinking getting yourself almost killed?”

Slowly, Finn managed to push him away and glared at him, defending himself, “There’s not much time to think when a fucking abomination throws a corpse at you, you know?!”

Anders laughed softly and said: “I can imagine, yeah. Can you cast a healing spell yourself? I surely can’t, I won’t open the clinic today, can’t do a single thing because I had to save you.”

Finn’s eyebrows jumped up as he heard this and Anders nodded gravely: “Yes, it took almost all I could give to pull you back from the brink of death. One more spell and I would’ve collapsed myself. But that was well worth it, my friend.”

For a moment, they smiled at each other and had it not been for all those wrinkles engraved in Anders‘ face, lines of worry, Finn had almost felt set back in time to when they had been the best of friends, close together, the two of them against the Templars. Now…something was different, but yet the same. Strange, but comfortable.

“How’s Carver?”, he asked and Anders needed a second to answer, but when he did, he frowned in annoyance, “The boy’s fine. But Merrill freaked me out!”

“Why?”, Finn snorted in laughter and cast a healing spell because he could not laugh, not even snicker without being in pain. He would not keep up with that, the pain had to go.

“She was always there!”, Anders complained, “A blood mage right in my clinic! And she wouldn’t leave him, I couldn’t get to him without being…”

“Anders, shut it.”, Finn said with a grin and as Anders blinked at him, startled, he explained, “You do know that the girl is into him, right? And that he has been making moon eyes towards her for as long as I know him?”

“No…”, Anders admitted, frowned and then asked in surprise that reminded Finn of Marie, “Carver and Merrill, really? He…hates mages almost as fervently as Fenris does, he can’t…well, somehow it makes sense.”

“You think?”, Finn asked, “I don’t see any sense in it, but if they love each other that’s fine with me.”

Anders shrugged, but then grinned and agreed: “Yeah, life’s too short for fiddling away.”

“Look who’s talking.”, Finn sourly said and this won him a surprised look out of Anders’ eyes, so he got up and threatened him, honestly angry, “You may have saved my ass, but I’m still gonna kick yours.”

“What?!”, his friend snarled, “What’s your problem all of a sudden?”

“What’s yours?!”, Finn retorted, “In the Tower, you threw yourself at every girl that batted an eyelash at you and now you simply ignore Marie? Are you out of your bloody mind?”

All the annoyance in Anders vanished into thin air and his face fell before he mumbled, “Marie is not any girl…”

“I know!”, Finn said, “Still you ignore her. Don’t you have eyes? She’s gorgeous, she’s clever, strong, she…“

„Has obviously found an admirer in you.“, Anders bitingly interrupted him and Finn had to stare for a moment when he understood what he was implying. When he did, he laughed whole-heartedly. This only made Anders’ eyes narrow until Finn said: “I love her to bits, but as the best friend outside the Tower I ever had. Plus, she wouldn’t even consider me if I tried to court her. She’s only seeing you. And it breaks her heart that you don’t reciprocate anything than respect when she loves you. And she does.”

Anders grimaced at this, his features twisted by pain. But Finn did not stop: “She is strong, fierce and determined, she actually believes in you and me, in mages in general. She fights for those she loves, she will fight for you, no matter what. Marie would do anything to help you.”

“Which is exactly the problem!”, Anders shouted at him as his anger snapped with such force that Finn jerked. Especially because of the blue, Lyrium-ish glow in Anders’ eyes. It didn’t take him long to understand he was now facing Justice, so he was not surprised by the low growl that escaped Anders’ throat: “The Champion is a respectable woman, a kind-hearted fighter. She cannot be dragged into this.”

Anders gasped when he regained control and Finn asked him, staring at him out of narrowed grey eyes: “What do you mean by that?”

“I will say nothing more to this matter.”, Anders harshly announced, “Don’t ask. And don’t tell Marie.”

Finn grabbed his friends’ arm, but was still weakened from his wounds, so Anders easily wriggled out of his grasp. But Finn saw that his fingertips were yellow, covered in fine powder. The smell of sulphur.

“Anders…”, he whispered horrified, “Why do you have Drakestone here? What are you doing?”

Anders bit his tongue and then ground out, purposely harsh, “You were the genius in alchemy, you tell me!”

“Drakestone and sela petrae…you are building explosives.”, he spoke, almost soundlessly before he snarled: “What are you doing?”

“What must be done.”, Anders bleakly replied and as he tried to turn around, Finn grabbed his arm yet again. There was despair in his eyes and he said: “Finlay, you will not stop me, I…”

“No, I’ll help you.”, he quickly said and felt Anders twitch in his grasp.

“What?”, he then whispered, but immediately shook his head, “No! No, you can’t. And neither can Marie, I cannot drag my only friends into this, the two persons I love most, no!”

“Aww…”, Finn teased him, “You love me? Well then, sucker, I love you too and that’s why I won’t let you do this alone. You were that bad in alchemy, you’re probably gonna get your ass pinned to the wall by a botched up bomb. Can’t have that.”

Anders stared at him, for once speechless and Finn mercilessly exploited that: “So, we’re gonna do this together, like it or not. What’s it you plan to blow up?”

He was surprised himself how well he took this, but he really felt that Anders had a reason for this. And he did: “The Chantry. If not even Templars and mages united can get rid of this cancer in our world, more severe measures are needed. Elthina watched them break Chantry law for years and sat idly by. The least bit of defence, of justice we have is neglected and ignored. No more.”

Those last two words were spoken in a deeper voice and as the faint glow reappeared in Anders’ eyes, Finn told him: “Stop glowing, you don’t have to convince me.”

Anders took a deep breath, but Finn did not give him the chance to speak again before he said: “We will do this, but make sure no one dies.”

“We can’t…”, Anders snarled, but Finn cut him off, “We have to! You know Meredith, that paranoid bitch. What do you think she’d do if she finds out a mage blew up the Chantry? She’d think we’re all evil. Killing people in the whole process won’t speak in our favour then! Kill her, if you really wanna kill in cold blood, kill Elthina if you feel you have to. But no one else. Attacking the Chantry is a powerful symbol, but if you do it without harming anyone, it’s twice as much a symbol.”

The blank look on Anders’ face made him understand that neither his friend nor Justice had gotten his drift by now, so Finn explained: “Blow up the Chantry and you shake ‘em up. Don’t kill anyone and you prove that you have mercy, that you’re not such a damn lunatic just like Meredith is.”

“This is…”, Anders mumbled, and Finn suggested sarcastically, “A better idea than you could have ever possibly come up with? Yeah, it is.”

Anders frowned but told him: “In a way, yes. Justice thinks you are right. But how can we make sure that there are no…casualties?“

Finn shrugged and said: “Dunno, we’ll figure something out. We could ask Isabela to help us, she’s a crazy enough girl to actually do this. Marie would, too.”

“She can’t know of this, not ever!”, Anders harshly demanded and Finn shrugged again, then sadly asked: „You do realise that you would betray her if you killed anyone? And that you will betray her if you don’t tell her what you’re planning.”

“I…”, Anders began, but was interrupted by the door to his clinic being burst open.

“Finn!”, a cry startled him and before he had a chance to turn his head to Marie who was storming into the clinic in nothing more than boots and a sinfully short red dress, she had flung her arms around his waist as she really could not have reached much higher, small as she was. But that did not keep her from pulling his face down to hers and kissing his cheeks.

“Whoa, go easy on a wounded man, lovely!”, Finn laughed and she winced, took a step back and honestly blushed, cautiously removed her hands from his naked torso.

“I…uhm, I was just happy to see you well.”, she muttered and he replied: “I gathered that much. How’s the lad?”

He had already heard that Carver was alright, but he wanted to hear it again and Marie grinned broadly as she said: “He is fine, more than I expected him to be.”

“Merrill’s with him, I take it?”, Finn asked and she only nodded, requiting his smile.

“I wanted to thanks you as well.”, Marie said, turning around to a dumbstruck Anders, “You took care of the two, helped them. Thank you.”

With this, Marie hesitatingly hugged Anders who stiffened, but then sighed deeply and held her in a tight embrace, whispering: “You are very welcome, Sweetheart.”

Anders’ eyes however, were fixed on Finn, and this made him realise that the healer knew he was about to betray Marie, but still deeply loved her. Finn sighed in pain that did not come from any injuries, but sympathy. Anders loved her, but he could not back away from his fight for freedom and this meant hurting her. What a fucked up misery…

Nevertheless, Finn decided to give them a moment and silently grabbed a tunic, flapped it on and said over his shoulder, “I’m checking our bowls of milk.”

No one commented on the fact that he did not take the milk with him, but maybe they did not care.

Grinning, he leaned against the wall outside the clinic with closed eyes, thinking this whole thing through. But there was nothing else they could do, even if it hurt Marie, they had to.

“Shit.”, he mumbled and opened his eyes…just to meet green ones. Fenris. Taken aback, Finn stared at him for a moment, speechless, his mouth dry. In the vain attempt to say anything witty, he licked his lips, when suddenly Fenris ran to him, pinning his shoulders to the wall in his back.

Finn stared again, mouth agape and still speechless, when Fenris mumbled a few words in Arcanum, but he understood them: “I was afraid I would lose you.”

A rueful smile crept onto Finn’s lips and made his elf frown suspiciously. Rightfully so, because Finn was absolutely sure that he had thought he would not understand a single word, otherwise he would not have said anything. So he caught Fenris off guard again when he answered in Arcanum: “That was my fear as well.”

Fenris stiffened and stared at him wide-eyed, his grip growing loose on Finn’s shoulders. Carefully he took the elf’s hands and told him: “Arcanum is an old language and many books are couched in it. I learnt it in the Circle.”

Fenris did not move for such a long time it got Finn worried, but when he did, he tried to back off.

“Don’t.”, Finn pleaded him to stay, just as Fenris had pleaded him to go a few weeks before, “Don’t flee again.”

“I…cannot…”, Fenris mumbled and tugged his hands free, but Finn asked him, “Why not? Why do you think I am so dangerous for you? Fenris, please…”

“No.”, was all the elf replied and Finn hung his head in resignation, however, then anger filled him and he growled, “You bastard. You can’t do this to me now, you can’t. You understand my every word if we only look at each other, Maker’s balls, you carried me to Anders, a mage you resent above all else, to save my life and prayed for me not to die…yeah, I heard that!”

Fenris grew pale as Finn revealed this detail, but he kept going: “You talk to me, hold my hand while I’m unconscious but you can’t even look my in the eye properly now?! What happened that you tried to kill yourself?”

Fenris jerked at this but claimed: “I never made such an attempt.”

“But you knew that I was talking about my attempt.”, Finn retorted and Fenris nodded gravely, revealing only a small bit: “I knew this, yes. But to end your own life is a sin.”

“Somethings are worse than death.”, Finn grumbled and saw a spark of recognition in the elf’s eyes. He really knew such helplessness.

“Fenris…”, he began anew, but the elf shook his head which did not keep Finn from talking, “Dammit, I have to kno…”

His hand over Finn’s mouth, however, did shut him up. In annoyance, he stared down into those green eyes and felt Fenris close to him.

“You demand too much.”, the elf said and when Finn tried to touch him, he slapped his hands away with his much stronger ones, “For once, just for once, be content with what you are given. Just this once.”

When Fenris removed his hand, Finn opened his mouth to ask him what in Andraste’s name he was talking about, but he was cut off in the most effective and gentlest way he could imagine.

Fenris pressed his lips to Finn’s, a hesitating and tender caress that left him breathless because it had come so unexpectedly.

When Fenris backed away, Finn tried to hold him near, but the elf evaded his grasp and one look into his eyes told Finn what he had to know. This kiss was all he would get for now. It had to do and it did. Fenris was looking at him and when Finn smiled, he nodded slightly, an almost shy smile on his lips.

Then he turned around and went off into the darkness of Darktown, but for Finn, the night was brighter than ever.


	16. Chapter 16

Finn really had no problem whatsoever to look over the heads of all the patrons in the Hanged Man, but nevertheless it took him longer than he had thought to find her. When he did, he had to grin. Isabela was the vivid centre of a vicious brawl and effortlessly sent the three men pestering her to the ground to her feet, groaning in pain.

When he had finally managed to get through to her, past all the drunkards ignorant of the skirmish and those who were gawking, eyeing her up and down although most stopped at her breasts, he greeted her: “I see you’re having fun, girl!”

“Indeed!”, she agreed with a smile and then mercilessly grabbed the collar of the poor idiot lying closest to her, then told him: “Leave me alone, I have better company tonight. Bye bye.”

With that, she let go off him and his head heavily crashed down onto the wooden floor. Finn winced in sympathy, because that really looked as if it had hurt. But Isabela just took a deep breath, wiped her hand clean on a tattered rug hanging on the wall, then she adjusted her breasts and a much too warm shudder ran down Finn’s spine when he saw that. Grinning like a cat, she asked him: “Care to join me for a drink, hunk?”

“I’d love to.”, he said and even though it would probably –no, surely – get him into trouble he added, “I’m buying.”

“Oh…”, Isabela cooed and lightly touched his chest as she moved past him to a table, “The man knows how to treat a girl.”

“You bet.”, he replied and ordered two glasses of Grog which he put on her table. That minx had chosen one at which they had to sit right next to each other, surely on purpose, but he only shrugged and raised his glass to her.

“To you.”, Finn toasted, but Isabela corrected him, “To us, sweet thing.”

Sipping at his drink, Finn slowly said, “Don’t get me wrong, that invitation is tempting…”

“But you’re not here for that?!”, Isabela interrupted him, blinking, “What are you here for, then?”

“Your help.”, Finn told her, but Isabela snorted and taking a huge sip of the Grog, she said, “Not interested.”

“C’mon! You don’t even know what I was about to say!”, he complained, but she only shrugged, „Not my problem, sweetie. If you’re not here for sex, there’s nothing you could find.”

Disappointed, Finn took a deep breath and hummed while thinking through his other possibilities. But were there any?

“Ah, fine!”, Isabela groaned, „Just tell me, otherwise you won’t shut up anyway!“

“Damn right!”, Finn agreed and they laughed together. Isabela’s grin even broadened when he leaned closer to whisper next to her ear: “Anders is about to do something and we need your help so this won’t totally go sideways.”

Arching an eyebrow, Isabela looked him up and down, then nodded and said: “I’m listening.”

“Good.”, Finn breathed and told her the plan, trusting her with everything, all or nothing, “He will destroy the Chantry.”

The sudden gasp surprised him, coming from such a hard-boiled fighter, but then she quickly regained her composure and said: “Alright, ahem. Yeah. Where does that involve me? Sneak you two in, distract the niminy-piminy sisters when you „do your thing“ or…?“

“Get everyone out.”, Finn interrupted her and startled her yet again, so he explained, “We want the building destroyed, but no one harmed. Can you do that?”

“Course I can.”, she said, „Already have some ideas…“

Finn smiled, then, however, he heard the big „but“ in her voice and asked: „So…?“

“Nothing.”, Isabela shrugged, “I’ll help you, just tell me when exactly.”

“Uh…what?!”, Finn asked, dumbstruck. Yeah, he had hoped that Isabela would be willing to help them but he had not thought that convincing her would be that easy.

She giggled and conspiratorially whispered: “You’ll get the story for another round.”

“Deal!”, he decided and nodded to the barkeeper, ordering two more grogs although he had not even finished his first. So he quickly drank it, bottoms up, and looked at her in expectance.

“Oh shit, Isabela, what have you gotten yourself into?”, she mumbled, but then caught Finn’s gaze, “Shit, I’m gonna tell you the whole story, you’ll learn it anyway.”

A deep sip later, Isabela spoke: “I was stranded in Kirkwall six years ago because I had stolen something and lost it, but it was valuable, so I kept searching for it. Well, so did its owners, the Qunari. I stole this…what was it called? Compendium of Kossun, Cousland…?”

“Koslun?”, Finn gasped, „Then Compendium of Koslun, that’s what you stole?“

“Wow, you sound like Fenris.”, she flatly said and Finn had to laugh, but at the same time he felt a little sting. He had not seen Fenris for almost a week now and slowly, this one kiss was starting to wear off, he wanted more.

“Anyways.”, Isabela continued her story, “I stole it, all blazes broke loose and the Oxmen rioted. I found the damn book…and ran away.”

“You did what?”, He stuttered and Isabela groaned, „I did what I always did. But I came back, obviously. Which was a big mistake, I tell you, because that Oxmen wanted to take me with them! Hawke defended me. She risked her life for me. No one had ever done such a thing. So…I feel kinda useless around her and I hate that. That’s why I…helped her cause.”

“Meaning?”, Finn asked, still startled by what she had just told him. Isabela cursed under her breath and ruffled her hair up, then looked at him and told him: “I helped Anders get some mages out. When he went to get you, I was fighting off some Templars and freed your way out. I know Hawke would have helped him herself, but Anders never told her about his actions, just showed her the results. So I helped him in her place, if you will, so I can do something useful.”

Finn could only stare at her, his look blank, and as Isabela saw this, she groaned, “Ah, whatever.”

“No.”, Finn quickly held her back as she got up, “Stay. I…was just surprised, alright? But I’m thankful. You help us, Anders and me, our people in general. Thanks, girl.”

“You’re welcome, hunk.”, she retorted and batted her eyelashes at him, „Now, do I get a reward?“

“Depends.”, Finn grinned and made her groan by that, so he offered, “If it doesn’t involve going to your room, we can negotiate.”

He smiled brightly, right until he saw the wicked glistening in her eyes.

“Well…”, Isabela purred, “You could of course bang me right here.”

For a moment, Finn was convinced that he had misheard her words, but then he saw her dirty smirk and jokingly offered: “Wanna be on top or lie on the table?”

She laughed loudly and then told him: “You, my friend, are wonderful. Fenris has no idea what a lucky bastard he is.”

“Maybe…”, Finn replied and Isabela grinned, “Alright then, give me the word and I’ll help you. Also with those itches he doesn’t scratch, if you want me to.”

With that, she winked at him and Finn called to her: “Izzy? Thanks.”

She smiled at this nickname and replied: “Thanks for the Grog.”

With that she left the taproom and Finn shook his head, then paid their drinks and headed for Varric’s room for a few games of Wicked Grace.

The night was young and he had to spend it away from the clinic. He had invited Marie over, but alas, he would not be there so she would have to deal with Anders and the two of them would be all alone. That had to do at least something…


	17. Chapter 17

„Finn, are you there? Oh…“, Marie softly said when she entered the clinic and Anders grumbled lowly in his mind. Finlay, I will have your ass for that, he swore in silence and then turned around to Marie, telling her with a smile: “Didn’t he tell you that he wanted to go to the Hanged Man?”

“No…”, Marie drawled and looked around in the clinic, empty now after a day of hard work, “He actually invited me over for tonight, for a little wine and a chat, he said…”

Anders growled before he could stop himself and Marie mumbled: “Finn is not here, I take it? And he will not be back so soon, right?”

“Exactly.”, Anders replied and gritted his teeth, but then took a deep breath and offered, “But I could still get you some wine…probably. If there is any.”

She laughed softly and then pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, saying: “Or…you could accompany me to the mansion. Bodahn has again cooked way too much even though Carver took quite some of the food to Merrill.”

For a moment, Anders closed his eyes and fought the urge to kiss her, embrace her and never ever let her go again. It had become so incredibly hard to hold back around her.

“Anders?”, Marie asked cautiously and he exhaled to calm himself and smile at her when he replied, “That would be wonderful, Sweetheart. I could use a proper meal.”

Justice was ranting in his mind, but Anders shoved the spirit’s angry comments to the side and instead looked at Marie. She waited patiently until he had locked the front door of the clinic and then she said: “You look haggard, Anders, as if you had not eaten or slept in days.”

Upon saying this, Marie gently touched his shoulder and he shut his eyes tightly. How hard could it be to simply tell her that yes, he had not eaten properly in days and neither had he had any decent sleep because the thought of betraying her haunted him day and night? Why could he not simply tell her that he wanted to be the man at her side, honestly, how hard could it be?

Too hard, obviously, because he did not manage to get anything out of his throat other than: “A nice meal would be quite something.”

She smiled at him and invited him again: “Then come.”

His skin tingled all over when he heard her speak such inviting words and his fantasy went crazy, pictured her in his embrace, the fair, golden hair spread out on the soft pillows on her bed…

Shaking his head forcefully, Anders brought his thoughts away from such idle fantasies that would never come true because he could not allow for them to become reality, not ever. Marie unlocked the door that connected the cellar of her mansion with Darktown and the two of them entered the darkness. With a single thought, Anders conjured a ball of light in his hand and heard Marie chuckle: “Handy. I would have had to look for a torch now. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”, he answered and escorted her through the dark corridors of the cellars, allowing himself to touch her back, just this once, just to guide her through the dark cellar. He tried to convince himself, but he failed miserably and Justice did not believe a single word of this. He held his breath so to at least not smell her wonderful, very own scent and was greeted with the smell of delicious food when they entered the main hall.

“Bodahn?”, Marie called out to her servant who immediately came around a corner, “Could you prepare some food for Anders and me?”

“Of course, Messere!”, the dwarf called out and stormed off to the kitchen again, making Anders laugh: “How on earth does he do that? I mean, whenever you call for him, he’s there within an instant. How does that even work?”

“I have no idea.”, Marie admitted with a warm smile and led him to the salon where a cosy fire lit everything. Sighing, Anders warmed his hands by the flames and Marie asked sadly: “Why do you still live in the clinic, Anders? I offered you a room in the mansion a long time ago. You could live here, eat properly, sleep in a real bed…and you would still be able to run the clinic. Why did you decline this offer again and again if you are clearly suffering down there in Darktown?”

Nailed it. She had always been far too observant in many ways, but remarkably naive and blind in others. He was afraid that if there was nothing between them other than a few doors, he would not be able to hold back. He had already been tempted to break the door to her cellar in Darktown, so what should stop him if they were even living under one roof?

“I…cannot accept this, Marie, but I am thankful nonetheless.”, Anders said again and her disappointed sigh told him that she had not expected anything else, but was still hurt. That makes two of us…

The door opened and Bodahn entered the room, cheering in his usual tone: “Dinner is ready, I hope it is to your satisfaction.”

With this, he left them again and Marie offered caringly: “Come on, you must be starving.”

Indeed he was, so when Anders took the first sandwich, he almost wolfed it down. Marie giggled and when he looked at her ashamed, she simply smiled and joked: “So this is the famous Grey Warden appetite you told me about, am I right?”

Anders wanted to answer, however, his mind played a trick on him and made him think of wholly different appetite, so he decided to only nod because his mouth was full. When he could speak again, he told her: “Indeed it is. Moreover, I haven’t eaten in days.”

And neither had he felt a woman’s touch in years. He banned those thoughts from his mind and they ate in silence, only interrupted by the crackling of the fire now and then again. When Anders finished the sixth sandwich topped with ham and red bell pepper, he leaned back in the comfy chair ad sighed, his eyes closed.

“I am glad you enjoyed your meal.”, Marie smiled, he could hear this in her voice and also see in when he looked at her, returning the smile, “I did, thank you. Maker, I haven’t eaten so many and so delicious things in…like forever.”

“Then why don’t you come live here?”, she began anew and Anders sighed sadly, “Why can you not accept at least this little bit of help? You do not accept donations I try to give you, you do not even accept blankets or food for your patients. You never tell me beforehand when you plan to free more mages, you only tell me afterwards and only if I ask. Anders, can you not see that I would help you in any way I can?”

“I do.”, he whispered, shaking, “And that is why I can’t tell you anything.”

Marie was taken aback, he could see this, so Anders got up and closed what little distance there was between them. Just this once…

She stood before he had reached her, her frame so delicate and small, her hair glowing in the warm light of the fireplace. For a moment, Anders allowed himself to take in this wonderful view, then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Marie’s whispering a confession he had not planned to make: “I am planning…something. You will not like it and if I told you, you would be appalled, would be bound by your honour to stop me no matter the cost. I have to do this, but I cannot tell you a single word.”

His shaking hands found her cheeks, warm and soft, now heated with anxiety he could understand, but sadly not brush away.

“Anders…”, Marie whispered and he jerked, gritted his teeth to bar himself from doing what he had wanted to for years now, “Please, I beg of you, tell me.”

“I cannot, Sweetheart, I cannot do this.”, he muttered and winced when Marie slid her hands into his hair, grabbing it so tightly it was already painful when she hissed, “Damn you, Anders. One word, just give me one word and I will do everything in my might to help you.”

“Even the more a reason why I can’t tell you.”, he whispered, his voice already choked, “It would be even worse if you helped me. I cannot drag you into this.”

Marie was furious, he could see the angered fire in her now cold blue eyes as she growled in a fashion similar to Fenris’: “Do not dare to tell me this wasn’t my fight.”

Anders frowned and his hands dropped in insecurity, rested on her hips while hers were still tangled in his hair and now tightened their grip even further.

“You are fighting for freedom, for mages, this much I know.”, Marie said angrily, “You always fight for mages. Don’t think this wasn’t my cause as well. My father was a mage, so was my little sister, my almost sister-in-law is a mage, as is my best friend, Finn. And so are you, the man I care for the most. Don’t you dare leave me out!”

He had liked her the moment he had laid eyes on Marie, but by now he knew that he would always love her. Yet Anders said: “I…can’t. Not telling you is betrayal, I know this and believe me, it kills me, but telling you would put you in danger, so I can’t.”

Marie sighed and her shoulders slumped forward, her grip loosened and she nuzzled her face to his neck, trembling with rage and holding onto him. Not because she wanted to, not because she needed him, this much Anders knew and he resented it. She would have been better off with Finn, even with Fenris…anyone but him.

“I am so sorry.”, he whispered into her hair and kissed the her temple while taking her hands in his, “I am so, so sorry, Sweetheart.”

Her head shot up and with tears streaming down her cheeks, Marie demanded: “Then do something about it. Tell me.”

Anders wavered and was about to lay the plan bare to her, tell her everything…but then he whispered: “No…”

She glared at him and in all honesty, he understood her anger. Gently kissing her knuckles as this was all he allowed himself and all Justice allowed him as well, Anders pleaded: “Do not make me tell you, please, Sweetheart. I can’t. I cannot take the risk of you being involved. Don’t ask me to.”

She kept silent for a long moment, so long that Anders was already backing off, but then Marie suddenly spoke again: “Finn knows.”

It had been a question of some sort and his wince was everything she needed for an answer, so he explained: “He found out about it. I did not want to tell him either.”

“I could ask him, you know?”, she said, tears choking her voice and Anders smiled bitterly: “He wouldn’t tell you. He thinks that I should tell you, he already yelled at me because I haven’t and won’t tell you. But he won’t do it himself; he would send you directly to me to beat it outta me. And we all know that you would not do this. You’re just not the kind of person to do such a thing.”

Marie did not reply to this, but here resigned sigh told them both that he was right. Again she hid her face in the crook of his neck and Anders felt her tears, so he wrapped his arms around the woman he loved but was bound to hurt.

“I need to do this, there is no other way.”, Anders gently whispered into Marie’s ear, “But Finn will make sure that it goes down as…decently as possible. Neither of us wants to hurt you, please believe me, but this has to happen. The time for negotiations has long since gone by. Meredith is beyond reason, you know this best of all.”

“Yes, I know.”, Marie mumbled and suddenly stiffened before she asked, “Are you going to kill her?”

“Eventually…maybe.”, was all Anders offered as an answer and suddenly found himself in a harsh grip and Marie glaring at him, “You can’t just…oh.”

“Exactly.”, Anders said with a bitter smile, “You feel bound to stop me. That’s why I cannot tell you anything. It’s already bad enough that Finn knows.”

“Tell me.”, she asked of him again and ignored how he shook his head, “Tell me and I will help you if I can. At the very least…I will not stop you.”

“No.”, Anders replied in determination, „No, Sweetheart. You cannot promise not to stop me, so it’s best if you don’t even get the chance to do anything about it. I have already endangered you enough by not being able to leave you. I should be far away from you, as far as possible.”

“No!”, Marie snapped, “You should be right here…with me.”

Again a bitter smile and Anders asked: “Are you sure? Would you tell the paranoid Knight-Commander that you are harbouring an apostate in your estate, that you would defend him? Even against her?”

Marie nodded sharply and Anders clearly saw the sincerity in her eyes, so now his smile was genuine, but still sad as he replied: “This is all I have to know. But it doesn’t change anything, I cannot drag you into this for your own good. But believe me…”

He stopped short, unsure whether he could really say this, could dare to tell her these words hidden for such a long time and then go on and betray her. But he had to, simply had to say this at least once in his life, when she was still convinced that she could return these feelings. When his plan had come into motion, she would send him into the Deep Roads for sure.

“I love you.”, Anders murmured, “Always have, always will. Whatever I do, how much I may hurt you, please, never doubt that I love you.”

Marie looked at him out of her icy blue eyes, ice melting in tears he gently wiped away, sure that he would cause more. Drawing back with a heavy heart, Anders felt her strong arms around his waist and she whispered: “Don’t go. Just don’t go, don’t do this, at least not alone. If you really cannot tell me…then please, Anders, I beg you, rely on Finn, on Isabela or Varric, anyone…just, don’t be all alone.”

“I don’t deserve you.”, he answered, “Not in the slightest.”

“Leave that decision to me.”, Marie told him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her tender, yet strong body flush with his taller figure. Anders winced when he felt her lips on his bearded cheek, soft and insecure, enquiring. Maker…

“Don’t.”, he whispered and felt her jerk in surprise. Tightening his embrace and trembling, Anders muttered with his eyes closed, „Don’t do this. I’m just a man, Sweetheart, I can’t hold back any longer.”

Slowly opening his eyes, he looked straight into Marie’s who blushed, but nevertheless answered determinedly: “Then don’t.”

Something in his mind snapped. Anders only had the time to gently stroke his thumb over her lips once, then he pulled Marie close for a long desired kiss. He wasted no time now, pulled her to the tips of her toes and licked her lips, gently pushed forward until he felt her tongue. She was so insecure, but yet determined and Anders was completely lost in the more than just arousing feeling of being so close to the woman he loved, he did not even realise Justice’s objection. And neither did he care.

Marie suddenly backed away and they were both panting heavily. He wanted to pull her close again, but that was the moment when he heard Carver’s voice out in the hall in such a tender tone he had not thought the warrior would be able to speak like that: “Come on, my bed is big enough, just…one night.”

“What good should one night do?”, Merrill asked in irritation and made Anders giggle, but he stayed silent and waited for Carver’s answer. When it came, he nodded, impressed by the lad: “One night to show you that it should only be the first night of many.”

Marie blushed heavily despite what they had just done and tried hard to restrain a chuckle, but it was no use, Carver spotted them anyway when he and Merrill passed the salon. Good thing was that they were already standing apart and Anders, although his heart was racing and yet heavy with grief, joked at him: “Don’t mind me, I was just about to go and leave you and your girl to…attend to your business.”

Upon seeing Merrill’s and Carver’s now reddened faced, he grinned broadly although he really did not feel like it and left the estate without looking back.

It was the hardest thing he had ever done, but it was necessary. As was blowing up the Chantry to set a sign even if it destroyed everything he and Marie had. It had to be done.


	18. Chapter 18

Finn had always resented to work in any sort of clinic, had hated it back in the Tower, had done so in the Gallows…and also in Anders’ little clinic. But this very day had been especially bad, his friend grumpy as if Darkspawn had awoken him not only in his nightmares, but in person. He had even treated the patients with clearly visible impatience so Finn himself had gotten an even worse treatment.

It all been annoying, but bearable, right until he had confronted Anders about it, then the whole day had gone sideways. Fortunately, he had stood the gaff until the clinic had been empty, but he was sure that Anders’ outburst had been audible in all of Darktown. So Finn had left him with the words: “Calm down. See you tomorrow.”

There was only one reason for Anders to be that grumpy and Finn had actually anticipated his friend to tell him off for setting him up with Marie the night before. That he had not told Finn only showed that their encounter had so not gone according to his plan because now Anders was even more frustrated. And so was he, so he needed a place to go, so as not to have to see Anders again today. That’s why he stood in front of Marie’s estate and knocked.

“Yes? Oh, Master Finn, good to see you again!”, Bodahn cheered and Finn smiled down at the dwarf, asking him, “Is Marie in? I need to talk to her.”

“I am afraid not.”, her servant answered, „What is it you need, may I relay a message to her?”

“I’ll be honest, Bodahn, I need a place to crash.”, Finn blurted out and the dwarf blinked at him, so he explained, “Anders is terrible company today, so I’d rather sleep here if this is alright with Marie.”

“Of course it is!”, the dwarf answered as he obviously understood, “Lady Hawke mentioned that you’d be welcome anytime. Though, she is out, talking to her friend Varric, if I recall correctly.”

Finn frowned in surprise, but entered the mansion thankfully and flopped his little bag down onto the floor next to the small fireplace. Seeing this fireplace, he was reminded of Fenris and so he told the servant: “I’d have to go visit Fenris. If Marie comes home while I’m still out, would you just tell her I’m thankful and will be here as soon as I can?”

“Of course, Master Finn.”, Bodahn replied and Finn winced, telling him with a grimace, “Don’t. My name’s enough, better than most profanities I’ve already heard.”

Bodahn’s face made him wonder if the dwarf had any humour, unlike Varric, so Finn simply took his leave: “See you later.”

With this, he left the estate and headed through the evening for the not that fancy part of Hightown which was still much more posh than he had ever imagined something to be. And that was where Fenris lived, he still could not believe it.

Nevertheless, Finn had to grin as he thought of the handsome elf. They had not seen each other in a week, he craved a little attention. He could have gotten it last night from Isabela, but that would not have been the same, he knew this. But one week really was long enough for his elf to muster up the courage and the longing for another kiss, was it not?

It was, Finn decided from the yearning in his gut and knocked on the door. Nothing, as expected. Sighing, he tried to open the door and shook his head as it swung open.

“One day, this will kill you!”, he jokingly called out to Fenris, but alas, he got the answer he anticipated, silence. Not giving it much thought, Finn climbed the stairs and wondered again how Fenris could live in this mess. Not that he cared for decent housekeeping all that much, but he was astonished at the whole mansion being all topsy-turvy and called out in another joke: “Seriously, how do you live in this pandemonium? Door’s always open for any salve hunters who come knocking and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you haven’t yet died from an infection after having stepped on a shard here once too often.”

Again only silence met him and slowly, Finn felt unrest. Taking the last few steps more quickly, he proceeded to Fenris’ room and exhaled when he saw him sitting there, as always, on his bench, staring into the flames.

He was relieved to see him, but at the same time angry, so he gruffly complained: “You know, you could at least acknowledge me with as much as a greeting. And if it’s only “fuck you”, alright?”

In annoyance, Fenris’ glare hit him and Finn smiled broadly. He had missed that.

“Festis bei umo canavarum.“, Fenris snarled and Finn chuckled as he understood every word, yet he decided to not answer in Arcanum, “You’ll also be my death if you look at me with those eyes for a longer time.”

Another glare and Finn gasped in sham shock, clutching at his tunic right above his heart. Fenris scoffed and he laughed as he said: “There is something the Orlesians call the “Little Death”, do you know of this?”

The elf frowned and again, Finn grinned as he said: “If you only let me a tad closer, you’d surely give me such a “Little Death”. And I could return the favour.”

Fenris’ gaze was back at the flames, and Finn sighed as he plopped down onto the bench, a fair distance away in order to respect the personal space Fenris had asked of him, then he said: “You have no idea what I’m talking about, right?”

“I do know this periphrasis.”, the elf retorted, “However, I do not wish to hear any more innuendos from you.”

“Why not?”, Finn asked innocently and basked in the fierce scowl he was met with, “Such things are fun! In the Circle, they’re the only thing you have. Apart from quick trysts in the corner. With brings me back to the “Little Death” I told you about. So?”

“What?”, Fenris asked with a frown, his voice harsh. In contrast, Finn’s words were almost a purr, the best he could do: “Wanna die a little with me?”

There was only the smallest hint that Fenris winced, but Finn saw it nonetheless and grinned happily as it told him that the elf had thought about this. Gotcha.

“No.”, he then said and somehow, it startled Finn, not only that he had spoken while Finn had been lost in his green eyes, still ablaze in fury, but even more the word he had said with such determination.

“Sorry, what?”, he asked and Fenris jumped to his feet abruptly, growling: “No!”

To calm himself from instant disappointment and rising anger, Finn inhaled deeply and then, as calm as he managed to speak, he said: “What brought this on?”

Wow, he had almost sounded like Fenris. Who was absolutely not calm at the moment, so Finn got up as well and looked into his eyes, prying for even the subtlest hint at his emotions. But he only found fury, the green of his eyes ablaze, so he whispered: “What’s on your mind, Fenris? You can be upset all you want, if you don’t tell me fucking why then I can’t help you.”

Green fire threatened to scorch him, but Finn nevertheless returned the elf’s gaze until Fenris snarled viperously: “From what I saw the other night, you are already dead. A little at least.”

Irritated to the worst, Finn shook his head to gather his senses and then joked: “I’m very much alive, I think, but thanks for your touching concern.”

Fenris scoffed and turned away, stomped a few paces to the side but then glared at Finn yet again and hissed: “Actually, I should not be surprised at all. I foolishly thought better of you, but Isabela has killed many men, both literally and figuratively, as it seems.”

Dumbstruck, Finn could only stare into Fenris’ eyes, but then he lost his vain fight against a happy grin.

“It was this good, I take it?”, Fenris growled, but he countered with a smile and a question, “So, you said you “thought better” of me? What did you mean by that exactly?”

Grumbling, Fenris turned away from him again, but Finn had no intention of letting him get away without having heard the truth. Gently he reached for Fenris’ wrist and although the elf forcefully slipped from his grasp, Finn at least had his attention now: “There’s nothing between Isabela and me.”

“Of course.”, Fenris coldly replied, „It is just a fling, nothing of importance. But it is important to me.”

“Fenris, there is nothing.”, Finn repeated, stressing every word, „Nothing. There wasn’t, isn’t and won’t be anything. She’s attractive, blazes yeah, but I’m no cheat. I talked to her on behalf of Anders and yes, we joked around a bit, but other than that…nope.”

“Of course you are no cheat.”, Fenris replied flatly, “How could you be cheating if there is no one you are in an relationship with.”

“Dammit!”, Finn cursed and grabbed a hold of the elf’s wrists, the two of them grappling, “I will say this again and again, talk your ear off if need be until you believe me. There’s nothing.”

Fenris jerked his hands free and looked up into Finn’s eyes, drawling: “I…believe you. I do not understand the reason for this, but I do.”

“Must be the eyes, grey’s so trustworthy.”, Finn chuckled, but as Fenris averted his green ones, he asked, “Hey now. What’s wrong? Apart from you being jealous all over nothing.”

„I was not…“, Fenris hissed, glaring at him, but then decided against this and instead muttered, „Never mind.“

This broadened Finn’s smile until he saw the hurt look on Fenris’ face. Just as he tried to ask, the elf began himself: “I…have to apologise. I took my anger out on you, undeservedly so. Forgive me.”

This was way more than Finn had expected to get as an apology, he had not even expected any apology at all. So he was speechless for a moment and still struggling for words when Fenris took a tiny step into his direction. It was indeed tiny, but it was at least something.

Ever so slowly, Fenris leaned closer and Finn waited breathlessly, heart pounding in his chest. The elf was going to kiss him, so he surely would not ruin this moment.

Instead, the thud with which the entrance door clapped shut ruined it for him. His elf took a quick step back, nervously licking his lips.

“Fenris, don’t…”, Finn whispered to him, “You want to kiss me, then do it.”

Shaking his head, the elf’s eyes flickered to the door to the room they were in when they heard Marie’s voice call out: “Fenris? I’m here, as you asked me to come.”

Finn saw him wince and almost squirm uncomfortably, so he whispered: “She’s not yet here, so do it now. You want to kiss me, do it.”

“No…”, Fenris’ answered as quietly and shook his head again which made Finn’s patience shatter to pieces.

“Sod it.”, he decided and touched Fenris’ cheeks, pulled to elf in for a quick kiss. At least he had wanted it to be quick, just a gentle touch to compensate for the whole week he had not even gotten as much as a peek at Fenris. However, what was intended to be gentle quickly grew heated and intense, so Finn nudged the elf’s lips, desperate to take as much out of this kiss as he could. He moaned faintly when Fenris willingly parted his lips for him and welcomed his tongue while his hands were clutching his sides.

“Fenris?”, Marie’s fair voice intruded into this moment that should have belonged solely to them, so Finn grudgingly pulled away. Panting he looked into Fenris’ green eyes, saw them sparkle, a blush tinting his tanned cheeks. He had never been more beautiful so far.

But Finn also realised something else he recognised as…fear? Worry? He wanted to ask for the reason, but that was the exact moment when Marie entered the room behind him and said: “Fenris, I didn’t…find Finn because he is already here. Good.”

He turned around and smiled at her, although it was a lot harder than it had been before. Nevertheless did he hug her tightly for a greeting and whispered into her ear, hoping Fenris would not hear it: “Ten seconds more next time. Or…maybe a few hours.”

She looked at him, all puzzled, but then her cheeks were dusted with the cutest pink blush he had ever seen, far cuter than Fenris’ because his elf, blushing, was downright tantalising.

Marie shrugged her embarrassment off and directed her words at Fenris, a scant nodding all the greeting they exchanged: “I am here, Fenris. What is it you wanted to ask of us?”

“Wait, us?”, Finn asked and looked at both of them, irritated, „You actually wanted me to come to you today?“

There was a crooked grin on Fenris’ lips he tried his best to hide immediately, but Finn saw it and grinned. Sly, really sly.

But then the elf grew serious again and Finn frowned, asking: “Tell me.”

“Three years ago, my former master’s apprentice came to hunt me down, Hadriana.”, Fenris growled that name, filled with rage and Finn decided to hate that bitch preventively, “Hawke helped me and I…I killed her.”

“Good.”, Finn said and shrugged as he saw Fenris’ surprised gaze on him, “Bitch deserved it, no doubt.”

“Indeed she did.”, Marie agreed with him and Fenris blinked at both of them in disbelief, but then continued, “She told me I had a sister in Minrathous. I never told you this, Hawke, but I…followed the leads she gave me.”

Finn frowned and said: “Wait, I don’t get it.”

“When my former master burnt Lyrium into my flesh, the pain took its toll, all my memories were wiped out, I have…nothing apart from the recent years.”

Shocked to the bone, Finn plopped down onto the bench, his heart beating heavy.

“I had no idea…”, he mumbled and Fenris gave him a small smile, whispering, “How should you?”

He shook his head to grasp a clear thought again, but failed horribly. Marie, on the contrary, asked calmly, but clearly in concern: “Did you find Varania?”

Fenris hesitated, but then he answered: “Yes. She is in Kirkwall.”

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”, Finn wanted to know and Fenris dryly retorted, “Maybe both, presumably the latter.”

“Why?”, Marie asked, “She is your sister, Fenris, she may be the only family you have left.”

“Which makes her the perfect bait.”, Finn gravely concluded and Fenris nodded harshly, “Correct. There are no signs of Danarius, not even any hint that he is here, but…the more I tend to think he does not know about our meeting, the more I am convinced that he has to know!”

“Where is she?”, Marie asked of him, “Give me a place and I will be there and help you any way I can.”

“Same goes for me.”, Finn vowed in all honesty and saw how Fenris briefly closed his eyes. When he reopened them, the elf told him: “You have felt my mistrust against mages firsthand, you must wonder why I want you to accompany me.”

With a grin he gave a joking answer: “You know, I gave up on trying understanding you.”

“I am serious, Finn!”, Fenris barked at him and then calmed down with a deep breath before he told him, “There is no one I trust more than Hawke. But I am no fool, I know that I cannot dare to hope defeat a powerful magister without the help of another mage. Your magic is required.“

Disbelieving, Finn’s jaw dropped. Was he nothing more than a tool to him? No, this couldn’t be, not after that kiss. No, just…no.

Now he was to one to glare at Fenris and although the elf tried to return his angry gaze, he was the first to avert his eyes and then revealed: “You are the only mage I trust.”

This spread a crooked smile over Finn’s lips, but Fenris looked at him and whispered: “I trust you, Finn. And…I need you.” “

And I’ll gladly help.”, he replied and jumped to his feet, showing eagerness he now felt after those words, “Where are we going?”

“This is not a joke!”, Fenris accused him and Finn quickly replied, “I know. If she’s here, we should find Varania, if that bastard is also here, we should find him as well and kick his arse. Deal?”

Fenris eyed him up and down, so that Finn raised an eyebrow before the elf thoughtfully muttered: “Will I ever understand you?”

“Probably not.”, he retorted with a grin, “Most days, I don’t even get what I’m saying myself.”

This made Marie chuckle, but seriousness was in her voice as she asked, “Alright, let’s go as soon as we can. Do you want to discuss strategy? You know Danarius best…unfortunately.”

Fenris nodded calmly and then decided, “Let’s go. Varania wrote that she would find accommodation in a little inn by the West Gate. We can think of a strategy on the way.”


	19. Chapter 19

„I don’t like this.“, Varric mumbled as they discussed their plan, “And before you ask, Torch, this statement is right up there with “What could possibly go wrong?”, so don’t say it!”

Finn chuckled as he heard the dwarf bicker but then seriously replied: “Honestly, what other options do we have? If it’s only Varania, we’re fine, but if that bastard Danarius is also there, I’d think it’s best to make him believe I was some sort of master for Fenris. Which isn’t true, of course.”

He quickly added these words as he saw Fenris’ glare out of the corner of his eye, so he addressed the elf: “But it will be harder for him to simply go snatch you if he thinks that he would anger another mage by doing so.”

“This will not stop him!”, Fenris snarled and Finn gently touched his arm, only for a moment, but it seemed to calm him down before he explained, “I know. This won’t go down without a fight and believe me, I am willing to fight for you. But maybe we can get him to negotiate which is futile, I know, but it will buy us some time to figure out how well he prepared that whole damn thing.”

Fenris ground his teeth, his jaw clenched so tightly Finn had to purposely put his hands away in order to stop himself from touching the elf’s tense cheeks.

“Trust me.”, he asked of Fenris in a whisper and Marie added, “We are ready to strike as soon as you tell us to. We’re here.”

“Don’t worry, Bianca just loves to bite assholes.”, Varric joked and this made Fenris smile crookedly before he simply nodded and led them to the inn he had talked about earlier. Unsure, he stopped in front of it and Finn muttered: “Darn it…this really isn’t the best part of Lowtown, am I right?”

“Totally.”, Varric agreed, “No one to give a rat’s ass about their neighbors and a lot of cheap thugs who don’t ask questions. Perfect place for an ambush.”

“Brilliant.”, Fenris snarled and Finn replied in resignation, “Better to not get your hopes up. This will be nasty, no doubt.”

The elf shortly looked into his eyes, then back at the door and whispered: “Maybe I should not…”

“You should!”, Finn barked which made the elf wince, but Marie, although with a softer voice, agreed, “Fenris, don’t let this stop you. I think you should go, you have to know.”

“Look, if it’s only Varania, then she can give you answers you otherwise would never get.”, Finn explained and hated the pained look in Fenris’ eyes, subtle, but clearly visible for him, “And if it’s Danarius…then I’d strongly recommend to rip his heart out. He deserves it.”

Fenris nodded with his head hung very much looking like a lamb that was led to the slaughter and barely audible, he whispered: “You do not even know the half of it, Finn.”

Just as he wanted to ask what else that bastard had done to him, Fenris forcefully opened the door and entered the tavern and as Finn followed him, he had to fight the urge to sneeze. Old dust tickled his nose, cobwebs clung to every corner, every surface…but still the taproom housed a few people, all men with glasses in front of them, but none of them touched their beers.

“This stinks.”, Varric drawled in a sham cheerfully singsong and Marie gravely agreed, “Keep your eyes open, this isn’t what it looks like.”

“C’mon, lovely, it’s exactly what it looks like, “Finn scoffed, “A bloody trap it is.”

Fenris did not say a word, right until he spotted the only woman amongst the guests. If they were guests after all. A slim and pale redhead sat in a corner, nervously biting her lips. Finn had to admit that she was a bonnie lass, shiny red hair tied into a bun, pink lips, a pretty face and…green eyes, deep and lush as the only forest he had ever seen, the Brecilian Forest. He knew who the girl was even before Fenris quickly approached her.

Her head shot up and met her brother’s eyes, hers going wide as he mumbled: “Varania…I remember you. I remember playing in the garden while Mother did the laundry. You called me…”

“Leto.”, she sobbed and covered her mouth with her tiny hands, “Leto, that’s your name. You’re Leto.”

“Not anymore.”, Fenris answered and she nodded, tears streaming down her pale cheeks, „I know. And I am so, so sorry.”

Finn angrily bit his tongue and went to Fenris’ side who shook his head and slowly asked: “Why? What have you…?”

“She led me to you.”, a slick and totally disgusting voice answered his question, a voice that made Fenris go rigid. He only looked at his crying sister, not able to move, so Finn decided it was his turn: “Greetings, Danarius. I should have known that you would stage such a poorly performed scam to reclaim what you think was yours.”

The magister frowned, which told Finn that he actually believed that nonsense. And it also made him hate what a good liar he was, because now he could only hope that Fenris would not believe him no better than a magister.

“He is mine.“, Danarius answered angrily, but put himself under control quickly and gestured into the room, “As are all the men you see here. And that elven slut. She was all too willing to sell her brother dearest out to me for only as much as a night with me.”

From the corner of his eye, Finn saw that Varania had blanched even more, so this bit surely was not true. At least not that part that she had wanted to spend the night with that old and disgusting bastard, that was, but Finn was sure that they nevertheless had had spent a night together. Presumably against her will and forcefully.

It sickened him, but he forced a smile upon his lips and suggested: “Well, I will not give up my property as easily as you’re not my type, but maybe we can talk a little and find an arrangement suitable for all of us.”

Danarius seemed to think this over and then demanded: “Send your bodyguards away for this.”

“As if.”, Finn laughed, “We are in a room filled with your bodyguards, I only have three of them. You cannot be this afraid. Correct?”

This made Danarius grind his teeth, but eventually the magister nodded and with only as much as a glance ordered a bulky fighter to arrange two chairs for them, gesturing at one of them for Finn to sit down face to face. With a forced smile he did and watched his friends excellently play their parts. Marie took a stand to his right, Varric next to her, and Fenris walked over to his left, not even an arm’s reach away, his hands on his weapon, but his look on Danarius, filled with rage and utter hatred.

Finn understood him and listened as Danarius said: “I must admit, I did not think he would have found another master by now. But alas, it does not surprise me. My little wolf needs to be…controlled.”

A small, yet disgustingly dirty smirk flickered over the magister’s lips and Finn frowned a little. He was clearly saying something in between his words and he already knew that he would only hate that bastard even more for that, whatever it was. As his vis-à-vis clearly waited for an answer, Finn replied: “He has been a fine bodyguard so far, so I do understand why you would want him back, but I am not willing to give him up.”

Upon saying this, he gave Fenris a glance silently telling him: I won’t give up on you, never. He only hoped the elf understood.

“I see…”, Danarius smiled like a viper, “And I can relate to this. The lad is rather skilled.”

Finn saw Fenris tremble with rage he barely contained as these smug words left the dirtily smiling mouth of Danarius. A cold fear formed in Finn’s heart and he looked at Fenris, not able to hide his terror. Was he implying…?

Fenris’ lips were a small line, pressed together so vigorously they were pale and he was trembling, averting his eyes from Finn. No…

“Oh. Interesting.“, Danarius said with amusement in his thin voice, „Has he denied you these services? You should keep him on a shorter leash.”

“Shut your mouth, Danarius!”, Fenris’ hissed and his Lyrium markings flared up, intensely and suddenly, sharply and therefore fitting the uncontained rage in his eyes.

“The word is “Master”, my little wolf.”, the magister sternly reminded him and then addressed Finn, “Have you not trained him properly?”

Finn however could not answer. He was staring at Fenris, still not believing what he feared was nevertheless true, the horrible truth about what Danarius had done to Fenris. He did not want to believe it…but as the elf looked at him and immediately shut his eyes tightly, trembling with rage and biting his lip in shame, averting his gaze, Finn knew that he was right. And he also heard Marie gasp softly to his right, now knowing that she had had no idea and was as appalled as he was.

“You know what, Danarius?”, Finn muttered, looking at Fenris before he turned to that Magister he loathed from the bottom of his heart, “Fuck this!”

Together with this profanity, he also threw a brutal blow of Force magic at the magister that hit him unprepared and therefore catapulted him back against the wall behind him. Commotion ensued as all the “guests” in the tavern drew their weapons and charged against the four of them, but Finn quickly turned around and met them with searing fire until he attended to Danarius again. As he did, he heard Varric and Marie kill a few of the guards that screamed as their skin burnt, and Fenris was already halfway through to his master, mercilessly striking at everyone stupid enough to get in his way. Blood spattered the elf, but he did not care and stormed forward.

Danarius just recovered from Finn’s opening blow as he cast the next spell, another one that would smash him against the wall and hopefully squash him there. However, his spell was countered and crepitated without any effect. Finn immediately saw the reason when he glanced at the thin and pale arm of Danarius. Blood magic. Lots of it.

Snarling, the magister summoned a demon of Rage, but Finn greeted it with a fierce ball of ice that froze it to the core, leaving it helpless when Fenris leapt to it, his sword crashing down and destroying it with a single blow. They were are good team, Finn thought and once again tried to smash Danarius against a wall to give Fenris the opportunity to reach his former master and get rid of that bastard once and for all.

But again, the spell was countered and, even worse, Danarius produced a shimmering crystal from the pockets of his robe. Lyrium, pure, strong and singing to Finn in the low hum of powerful magical energy. Fenris felt it as well, or so he thought when the elf faltered for a moment and then charged against Danarius. But he was proven wrong.

With a powerful spell Finn felt searing through his mind, the magister activated the Lyrium in his hands, an amount that should have killed him if he kept it for any longer than five minutes within his reach. Simultaneously with the Lyrium in Danarius’ hands, also Fenris’ markings flared up, even brighter and more brutal than they had before and the elf stumbled before he fell to his knees with a groan of pain.

Slowly, Finn understood that the Lyrium was hurting him and he tried to counter it, had to do something. But Danarius was powerful, he kept the Lyrium active despite Finn’s repeatedly cast spells against him, Force magic, fire, ice, he blocked everything with the power within his blood.

Fenris tumbled over, lying on the dirty floor, panting heavily and as the Lyrium’s glow intensified, he cried out in pain. Finn’s thoughts and heart raced for he had to find a possibility to help the elf he cared about, and it appeared when Danarius grew bold to torture Fenris. He had to withdraw power from his protective barrier to intensify the pain caused by Fenris’ Lyrium markings and that was when Finn struck.

Moreover, he decided on another spell and caught the magister off guard as his Force magic drew him closer to Fenris, making the other mage stumble. Finn heard him gasp in confusion, but then Danarius spotted him as the culprit and snarled. He, in contrast, gave him a challenging grin and called his magic, reared up all the energy he could find when he felt Danarius’ magic in his mind.

He was not a man to give in easily and he fought for Fenris here, who was still lying on the ground, so Finn channelled everything against Danarius. He knew he was on his own, because Marie and Varric were still fighting the bodyguards and Fenris was incapacitated, his Lyrium flickering, so he defied the magister’s Blood magic. But the pressure on his mind grew more and more brutal, became heavier and although he fought against it, Finn felt his strength weaken.

Apparently, this was still going too slowly for Danarius’ liking and the magister opened even more veins, drew more blood to feed his magic. Finn had to go down on one knee, already panting…when the pressure was suddenly lifted.

His eyes opened wide, he stared at Fenris who had grabbed Danarius’ throat and crashed the frail body against a wall, snarling: “You are no longer my master.”

Saying no more, a quick jerk of his arm snapped the magister’s neck, a terrible and incredibly loud sound in the silence that had seeped into the tavern after the fighting had ended, unbeknownst to Finn. The dead body slumped to the side when Fenris dropped it. Then he turned around, not giving it a second glance and first looked to the table his sister had been at, but the elven girl was gone.

Finn could not blame her. More importantly, Fenris was alright, although he had been deeply hurt in his past, so Finn got up and walked over to him, where he whispered: “It’s over.”

“Yes…”, Fenris mumbled and Finn reached for him, wanted to do…something, maybe comfort him, maybe assure himself that he really was there and would still allow his touch. Before he could, Fenris grabbed his tunic and leaned against Finn which startled him, but made him grin. Until the elf went limp in his arms and slid to the ground, which told Finn that he was unconscious.

Quickly, he snatched him up in his arms and held him, searching for any sign that he was not dead. Please, anything.

“Fenris?”, Marie asked alertly as Finn felt the elf’s breath and sighed in relief, “He’s alive. Just exhausted, maybe ‘cos of the Lyrium.”

“Probably…”, Marie mumbled and went over to Finn, gently stroking a strand of Fenris’ white hair out of his closed eyes, a gesture she would never have dared had he been awake. She smiled softly, but then Varric cursed: “What a big fuck-up!”

“Indeed.”, Finn agreed and met the dwarf’s eyes who then asked him, “You really think that asshole was serious about…you know…what he did?”

“I hope not.”, Finn said and looked at the unconscious Fenris in his arms as he mumbled, “But I am afraid he was. It would explain so many things.”

“Shit…”, Varric whispered and glared at the dead magister, “Makes me wish he wasn’t dead yet so I could kill him with my bare hands.”

“Totally understandable.”, Marie growled and then suggested, “Let’s go. Varania is lost for now, we can only hope that we can find and help her. I guess she has had to endure about as much as Fenris had.”

Maybe, Finn thought, although he was sure that they had experienced different, yet equally gruesome fates. Finn carried Fenris out of the tavern and turned to Marie to tell her: “I’m gonna get him to his mansion. If there’s a problem, I’ll contact Anders even though he’s crabby.”

“Why?”, Marie asked innocently, but Finn saw that there actually was something she had done that at least Marie herself though responsible for Anders’ ill temper. Yet he said: “Dunno. But you could of course check on him, maybe you can find out.”

She bit her lip and nodded, so he had to try had to hide his grin. He succeeded when he looked at the still unconscious and blood-spattered Fenris and concern filled him.

“I’m gonna go.”, Finn said and turned around, hearing Marie ask, “Take care of him.”

“Believe me, I will.”, he promised and then looked at Fenris, “You heard me? I’m here and I ain’t gonna go.”


	20. Chapter 20

“What a fuck-up…”, Varric muttered and Marie again winced at these vulgar words she was not used to, but said to him with a grin, “You are repeating yourself.”

“Yeah.”, he groaned, “There, I’m a bloody storyteller and don’t have words for this, apart from…other words that would make you cringe, dear.”

Marie chuckled softly, however, then she sadly said: “There are no words for this, Varric. What he did… I cannot believe that Fenris is still a sane person.”

“As far as you can call him “sane”, honestly.”, Varric scoffed and then looked the short distance up into her face, saying, “C’mon, Hawke, I’ll walk you home.”

“I’m a big girl.”, she replied, but gladly walked at the dwarf’s side who laughed, “No, Hawke, you’re a grown girl at most, but you’re not big. And…I just don’t want you to be alone right now as I don’t want to be alone myself right now.”

She nodded as she could relate to this feeling and they walked through nightly Kirkwall in silence, unusual silence she did not know with her dwarven friend. As they reached her front door, Varric took her hands in his and wished her: “Good night. And take care, will ya?”

She smiled at the dwarf, who then groaned and pulled her into an unexpected hug she gladly returned, clinging to his shoulders and resting her cheek on his head. Varric patted her back, then stepped back and cleared his throat, mumbling: “Don’t tell anyone, yeah?”

“Don’t worry.”, Marie giggled and entered the mansion, waving Varric good-bye. In the hall, she leaned back against the wooden door and exhaled, her breath ragged and tears pricking in her eyes. She did not want to believe that Fenris, strong and fearless Fenris had experienced…this.

His cry of pain still rang in her ears, not because of the fact that it had been loud, for it had not, but mostly because it had been a cry out of Fenris’ throat. She had never, ever heard him cry out, never.

So Marie shuddered with fear and suddenly the thought struck her that this whole day could easily have ended with their deaths, Finn’s, Varric’s, Fenris’…or her own.

Her eyes shot open as she realised that today she could easily have been carried off…and she would not have been able to see Anders another time. Trying hard to gulp away the lump in her throat, Marie made a decision.

Hastily, she ran to the cellar, rummaging for her keys while doing so. She tore the door open as soon as she had unlocked it, stepped out into the stillness of nightly Darktown and barely thought of locking the door to her cellar again. As soon as she had, she spun around and rushed to the door of Anders’ clinic, glancing up at the lantern that was not lit. Grabbing the door, Marie opened it and stormed in, shutting the door behind her.

“Wha…?”, Anders asked as he turned around quickly, then he went pale and ran to her side, “Marie? Are you hurt?”

“Lock the door.”, she ordered and startled him, he shook his head, but she repeated firmly, „Lock it.“

“Yes…”, Anders mumbled and did as he was told before he looked at her again, but Marie avoided his eyes and stepped over to a bowl with water. She removed her helmet, grabbed a cloth and began to wash blood from her face.

“Marie?”, Anders asked again and stood in front of her, taking the wet cloth from her fingers, “Are you hurt, Sweetheart, please, tell me!”

“No, I’m fine.”, she whispered and Anders exhaled in relief, smiled and gently washed away the blood, touching her cheeks while doing so. Marie closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch, remembered what had happened between them only yesterday. Anders cleared his throat and took a step back. As she lost his touch, she sighed, but opened her eyes as he asked: “The blood is gone. What did you do to be practically caked in it?”

“Danarius found Fenris.”, she told him and saw him stiffen.

“Oh…”, Anders mumbled, “Well, we don’t get along, but I would not have wished for that.”

“Nobody did. But we defeated him, he’s dead and Fenris is with Finn, he’s fine.”, Marie replied and he shrugged and nodded at the same time, but stared at her when she took off her gauntlets, then opened the breeches of her cuirass and hove it to the side.

“W-what are you doing?”, Anders stuttered and Marie only shot him a glance, then continued to take off her armour and mumbled, “What does it look like, Anders?”

“As if…uh…I…”, he stammered, not able to form a whole sentence. Marie sighed deeply as she had removed all of the metal that had clung to her body and looked into his warm brown eyes, saw him gulp as he tried hard to break his gaze away from her bosom. She smiled shortly, but as he looked into her eyes, she stated: “I just understood that life’s too short for hesitation, especially if something is important. You are important.”

Anders’ jaw dropped, but he did not reply anything, so Marie shook her head and put one hand on his neck, pulling him down to her lips in a firm grip. He kissed her, but only for a moment, then he broke away and panted: “This…isn’t the time and place to…uff.”

Another kiss silenced him, harsh and gruff, but when Marie ended it shortly after, she huffed: “I don’t care.”

With that, she pushed him against the wall, pressed her body flush to his, felt his embrace tighten, yet still he objected: “Marie, this…is the clinic, dirty and…”

“Don’t care.”, she interrupted him, framed his face in her hands, feeling his stubble graze against her palms, “There is no perfect place or time for this, never will be. But that’s not important. We are, nothing else.”

Anders panted, his grip on her hips tightened, but he still hesitated. So Marie undid the bun that held her hair up, allowed the blonde strands to freely fall to her shoulders and told him: “I want you. Now.”

She saw his eyes trailing over her face, her hair and when Anders roughly shook his head with a groan, her heart fell. But it jumped into motion again when he obviously lost control. Anders tangled his fingers in her long hair, pulled her close and plunged at her lips, placing a deep and feverish kiss on them that left Marie breathless.

Smiling gladly, she giggled as Anders said: “Sweetheart, I’ve always wanted to see you with your hair down. And Maker’s breath, you’re beautiful. But…”

“Shush.”, Marie quickly told him, „Don’t try to talk me out of this, I made my decision and I know you…want this as well. Please don’t deny it.”

“How could I?”, Anders mumbled and took her hands in his which Marie used to her advantage and tugged at them to pull Anders into the direction of his little bedchamber. As they reached it, she saw that it really was not more than that, a small chamber harbouring a few blankets, spread out as a sleeping berth, and a pile of unwashed clothes.

“Well, um…”, Anders stuttered while gesturing at the clothes, “I wasn’t really expecting any company tonight…or any night…”

“Good.”, Marie smiled at him and he shook his head in disbelief, but before he spoke again, she cut him off by gently putting her forefinger to his lips. When he stayed silent, Marie replaced her fingertip with her lips, their kiss soft and caring at first, but it quickly grew more passionate. Marie shivered as she felt Anders’ tongue nudge against her lips and welcomed him which earned her a moan from both of them.

“Marie…”, was all Anders whispered, but then he shook his head which she now could ascribe to his futile attempts to find words. Saying nothing, Anders smiled down at her and pulled her with him as he sat down on his makeshift bed, leading her so that Marie straddled his hips and faced him. Calmly, he played with a strand of her hair and then leaned in for another kiss that again was soon passionate and…lustful. It made Marie shiver, but this time, she did not allow Anders to break their kiss and instead, as he tried to, she followed him and in the process pushed him down onto his blankets.

Anders’ hands travelled all over her back, embraced her tightly. Marie winced when his fingers went past her tunic and touched her skin. Afraid he would stop again, she kissed Anders even more deeply, who in turn pressed her down against his body and bucked his hips, thereby showing Marie unmistakable proof of how much he longed for her. Surprised, she gasped at this and when Anders pushed up the hems of her tunic with a smile, she withdrew, somewhat involuntarily.

“Hey…”, Anders softly spoke and stroked her hair back, “Is something wrong, Sweetheart?”

“No.”, Marie shook her head, “It’s just…I really don’t know how to tell you this…”

“Well.”, he chuckled in response and kissed her gently, his answer a whisper at her lips, “I think I already understood what you came here for so you don’t have to say it.”

“This is not what I meant.”, she objected and now Anders really paid attention to what she said, caught the insecurity in her voice and looked at her closely. Then he sat up, Marie still on his lap, and asked her: “What do you want to tell me?”

“I…Maker, this is stupid.”, she groaned and Anders cautiously asked, “Do you mean you should never have come here?”

“No!”, Marie insisted quickly and put her arms around his neck to hold him in place, “No, I wanted to come, I want you, it’s just that I don’t know, how to…I…”

She fell silent, but Anders’ widened eyes told her that he had already gathered what she was trying to say.

”You…haven’t…have never? Sweetheart, you’re, what, 24 years old? How is it a beautiful girl like you hasn’t yet found a man to share her bed?“

„I’m actually 27. There were plenty that wanted to…“, Marie shamefully mumbled, „But I was training with Carver and some other boys of the militia in Lothering, I wasn’t interested. And after Father had died I had to take care of my family, Mother and the twins, I couldn’t just wander off and do…stupid things, I was carrying responsibility. So I never…”

Anders smiled softly and she hid her face in shame, but a gentle touch on her chin made her look into his eyes again, the room only lit by the light of the moon outside that barely advanced down to Darktown. When Marie looked into the warm brown again, he asked her sincerely: “Are you sure you want to do this now, here? With me?”

Marie blinked a few times, then she stated without any doubt: “Yes.”

Anders‘ smile sent shivers down her spine, but they were all enjoyable when he leaned in and first kissed her cheek, then whispered into her ear: „Then relax. You will like this.”

“Cocky, are we?”, she teased him even though she could not say where this had come from, but it earned her surprised laughter and Anders pressed her hips down against his, letting her feel his arousal before he answered with a grin: “Somewhat, yes.”

She laughed now in return, but stopped when he led her hands to the fastening of his coat, showing her how to undo it. The puffy feather pauldrons and the coat soon fell to the floor and Anders tossed his shirt right after them, kissing Marie’s knuckles before he put her hands down onto his chest. She felt his heartbeat race beneath her fingers and allowed them to travel over his torso, touch shoulders, sides, the nape of his neck, his waist and then she grazed the waistline of his trousers. All the while Anders had simply drawn circles onto the skin of her hips with his thumbs, nothing more. He had not even kissed her, had not disturbed her exploration.

When Marie stroked along his waistline again, he breathed: “Sweetheart, let me get this out of the way.”

She nodded and sat down beside him, watched him hastily rip off his boots and kick them to the side which made her giggle.

“Yeah, you laugh.”, he joked, “Bending forward isn’t easy right now, you know?”

“Oh…”, Marie spoke softly, but he only chuckled softly and pulled off his trousers. Involuntarily, Marie’s gaze was drawn to his manhood and she blushed. Anders beside her chuckled and kissed her, took her hand in his and…led it between his legs.

Marie winced, but Anders did not let her go and murmured: “Shush, Sweetheart, just…relax and let me show you.”

She nodded, but hid her face in the crook of his neck while Anders put one arm around her shoulders, his hand gently stroking her back whilst the other showed her the caresses he enjoyed. Soon she tried on her own and after a few strokes, Anders stopped to guide her hand.

His breath got ragged and then he moaned: “Stop.”

Marie went rigid in his arm and asked in concern: “Did I do something wrong?”

“No…”, Anders chuckled, “You did it all too well, Sweetheart. Guess you’re a natural.”

She scoffed at this, but was silenced with a deep kiss. She savoured the feeling, but it ended too soon and left her staring as Anders got up and tugged at her trousers. Insecure, Marie closed her eyes, but then lifted her hips shortly to allow him to undress her. She clearly heard his chuckle, almost saw the crooked forgiving grin, but she decided against such respecting consideration from her beloved and quickly took off her tunic, being now bare in front of Anders. It was…awkward a little, but his surprised staring and his admiring look on her body outweighed this by far.

Nervous, but determined she lay back onto the blankets and opened her arms for Anders, who quickly followed her, hovered over her and warmed her body. As if Marie was not feeling enough heat all by herself…

Anders placed a trail of kisses over her neck, once touched her lips but then went to her collarbone, her shoulders. As he kissed her breasts, Marie arched her back, but Anders’ lips travelled further down and as he placed one single kiss on the most sensitive spot, she could not stop a muffled cry from escaping her mouth.

He then kissed her again, his grin very satisfied. Then he grew serious and caressed her cheek before he said: “It can be a bit painful, but rest assured it won’t last long.”

Marie nodded and tried to prepare herself, but even if he had announced this action, she would still have gasped and moaned as she felt how Anders’ fingers gently stroked, then entered her. Trying to cope with this sensation, it ended and the place his fingers had occupied was taken by his manhood, slowly, gently, cautiously.

She felt no pain, not real pain at least, nothing compared to what she had already felt on the battlefield and so Marie only held Anders tightly, not willing to let him go away again. As their bodies were flush together, they were both panting, she felt their connection throb and relished the feeling. Just to be surprised with even more lust when Anders began to move, slowly at first, unsure whether he would hurt her, but she met his thrusts and soon they grew stronger, deeper.

Until they both lost control, their movements frantic and needy. Tension built quickly in Marie, like a knot, and as Anders’ hands found her breasts again, this knot exploded, made her arch into his touched and moan. He shuddered, then went still in her arms and lazily kissed her lips.

When he propped himself up onto his elbows, his smile was both satisfied as it was apologetic and he said: “I’ve wanted to do this for six years now. Every night I ached for this, for you. But I somehow pictured it to be more…I don’t know, romantic? More…fitting for the amazing woman you are, Sweetheart?”

Panting, Marie smirked: “In which regard was this not perfect, huh?”

“You think…?”, Anders asked and then grinned broadly, kissed her again as he whispered, “You’re right, it was perfect.”

One look into his eyes told her that he meant this despite the fact that he was much more experienced. Slowly, Anders left her, they both sighed as their bodies parted, but he immediately lay down right next to her, pulled her into his arms.

Marie was already half asleep when Anders sadly whispered: “Do you really want me to be with you? Even though you know that I will…have to…?”

“Yes.”, she said without any doubt and turned around to face him, framed his cheeks in her hands and looked into his eyes to convince him, „Yes, Anders. Just promise me that you will not do this all on your own, ask Finn to help you. I do not have to know, because I trust you both. But you need someone to keep Justice in check.”

He frowned and was about to object, she knew it, so she added: “I know that both of you want freedom for the mages and please believe me, both of you, this is what I want as well. But Justice, you have become…out of control sometimes. If you do not allow me to watch over you two, then ask Finn to do it. Sometimes you lack perspective when you’re on your own and bringing another one into this can change it. He already knows and he is fair, just and loyal. He can help you do things right. I trust all of you, rest assured.”

Sighing, Anders pulled her in for a kiss, deep and wet, wonderful, then he whispered: “I really don’t deserve you.”

“Leave that decision to me.”, Marie repeated her answer from yesterday, “And you know my decision. Whatever happens, may Meredith herself ask me, I will stand by your side. Now and forever.”

Anders kissed her lips again, more softly this time and held her close…the whole night.


	21. Chapter 21

Sitting in silence had never been good for Finn. So he had kindled the flames in Fenris’ fireplace to keep the elf warm, had gently pulled off as many pieces of the armour he had managed to get off and washed blood from his skin, out of his hair. But since then, he had only been able to watch the elf lie there on the rug in front of his fireplace as he had not dared to put him into his bed, smeared with blood as he still was. Fenris was completely still, unconscious and it frightened Finn as he only had the silence to keep him company, broken by the occasional cracking of wood in the flames devouring it.

Silence was bad, he hated silence. It reminded him of his solitary confinement, of the few nights he had spent outside the Tower when he had managed to flee once and had immediately been lost and robbed as he had known nothing about the world outside. And now it was even worse, as the silence gave him the despised opportunity to think. He did not want to think.

Finn really did not want to go over all the horrid things Danarius had implied, did not want to see Fenris’ face in front of him, twisted by rage and shame. But he had to. Everything coursed in his mind and the more he thought about it, the more he hated the magister even though he was dead now. At the same time, he admired Fenris for his strength and he felt righteous content as he remembered how the elf had killed his former master.

“That bastard…”, Finn mumbled to himself, merely to break the smothering silence, but it did not help in the slightest. With a groan of displeasure he admitted to himself that he was afraid. Of what Fenris would do when he woke up and found only him here, a man, a mage.

He knew very well that he was nothing like Danarius and he also knew that Fenris was aware of this, but still…he was afraid to lose him. It surprised Finn how deeply he cared for the elf already, but he indeed was not willing to give him up and dreaded the possibility that Fenris would reject him, his advances.

Shaking his head to clear it – unsuccessfully, of course – Finn got up and then knelt down next to Fenris, gently patting his forehead dry with a cloth even though there was no sweat on his skin. Chuckling darkly, he thought how much of a lovesick puppy he was and smiled as this made him think of Fenris’ puppy eyes. He just hoped to look into them again soon.

Tired and worried, Finn rubbed his hands over his face and decided that he could use a shave soon. But right now, he was just too concerned, he did not want to leave Fenris’ side even if that meant waiting in silence. And more waiting.

He was getting nervous when suddenly, Fenris stirred from his unconsciousness and his eyes shot open. “

Fenris.”, Finn breathed in relief, “You’re awake, good.”

The elf’s eyes stared at him for a moment, then he jumped to his feet and stomped out of the room, hissing: “Everything reeks of him!”

Finn followed him to see him run into the room in which he knew his tub was. Thoughtfully, he nodded as he could understand his urge to wash, even if it was irrational. So he quickly carried the pieces of armour into the adjacent room along with the rug and changed the blood-dipped cloth against a fresh and clean one and also changed the water in the bowl for fresh, cold water.

Having washed his hands, he returned to Fenris’ still empty bedroom, the only room he really used frequently apart from the little bath and waited again. Soon Finn heard the elf walk into the room again and he looked up, but could not help but stare for a moment. The white hair was damp, it clung to his forehead and Fenris was only wearing trousers, some drops of water were running down his bare torso.

Sighing, Fenris slumped back against the door he had closed, leaned his back against it and looked at the ceiling, then he closed his eyes and sighed again, the sound somewhere between desperation and relief in Finn’s ears.

So he calmly went over to Fenris, touched his shoulder and told him in a whisper: “It’s over, he’s gone.”

“I know…”, Fenris breathed, “I know. It is just…”

“You can’t believe it yet.”, he suggested and the elf nodded which made Finn shrug before he told him, “Neither could I believe that my phylactery had been destroyed and that I was finally free. But it’s true, Fenris, you’re a free man.”

The elf laughed bitterly in response and then scoffed: “Not yet, not until I manage to forget what he did…what I did.”

Finn frowned and tightened his grip on Fenris’ shoulder, but said nothing, simply waited.

“He…did whatever he liked to whomever he wanted…violated in any way he pleased.”, Fenris whispered, his body trembling with contained rage and shame, maybe even self-hatred, “Sometimes, he left me in pain all night.”

Finn closed his eyes, clenched his teeth, but the urge to vomit and kill Danarius again was hard to fight, especially as Fenris continued after a dark and bitter chuckle: “But I was his bodyguard, I had to be functional the next day. No matter what he made me do, made me endure, the pain he gave me, I had to protect him, so after a whole night in pain, he healed my wounds. So I could be functional, be his guard dog.”

He spat those words and Finn now needed something to cling to, so he clung to Fenris’ shoulders, hoping the elf would allow it. And he did, so he leaned his forehead against the elf’s and whispered: “No wonder you mistrust mages.”

“That’s not the worst of it.”, Fenris whispered regretfully and Finn gasped, “There’s more?”

He looked into those green eyes that then avoided his as Fenris said: “Yes, the worst of it is that I did not do anything. I had the opportunity time and time again, but I never did anything to defend myself…or others. I did what he told me because…he was my master.”

He blinked heavily now, despair and clear loathing for himself in his eyes. But Finn was not willing to allow this, so he framed Fenris’ face in his big hands and firmly said: “No, don’t go there, don’t. None of this was your fault, do you hear me? None of it.”

“But I never fought back.”, Fenris replied, „Never! Why did not do anything?“

„Because you didn’t know better.“, Finn explained, “Look, I’ve seen this over and over again with mages. Many of us think what the Templars do to us, lock us up, punish us, make us tranquil, even kill us, was just, because it was “their place” to do this. I have seen so many mages actually believe that their gifts were a punishment given by the Maker, a curse. I even saw mages, men and women alike, blame themselves after a bloody Templar raped them. I’ve seen it, Fenris, I know this. And believe me…”

He waited until he had Fenris’ full attention and then Finn stressed every single word: “It is not your fault.”

The elf smiled softly and replied: “I know. But it is still hard to believe, if this makes any sense to you.”

“It does.”, Finn answered, returning the smile. Out of a whim, he stroked a strand of white hair behind Fenris’ pointy ear, seeing him close his eyes as Finn touched his skin and so he murmured: “It can feel good.”

Fenris looked at him, a question in his eyes although Finn was sure that he knew what he was talking about, but yet he specified: “Being with another man can be good, regardless of the, let’s say, role you play, but only if both of them want it. I know I want you, but how about you? May I show you what I mean?”

Ever so slowly, a smile crept onto the elf’s lips and he said: “Who else could?”

This made Finn gulp and Fenris chuckled before he pulled him closer, tugged at the sides of his shirt until he leaned in to the elf. One hand still on his cheek, Finn first pressed his lips to the elf’s temple, then his cheek, travelled to his earlobe and nibbled on it before he licked over the pointy tip, enjoyed the shiver this sent though the other man, who also tightened his grip on Finn’s sides.

Smiling, Finn let his fingers follow the course of the Lyrium markings on Fenris’ skin, as he clearly felt their warmth and the tingling sensation they left on his fingertips, he traced them from Fenris’ chin down across his throat, felt him gulp while he did so, then further down over the elf’s chest, heaving with his ragged breaths.

Taking almost the same way up again, Finn smiled and kissed Fenris’ lips, was startled with surprise when the elf wasted no time and opened his mouth for him. Even more, he dug his hands into Finn’s hair, held him firmly in place and dove deeply into his mouth without any hesitation.

They both panted when they broke the kiss and Finn joked: “Who’d have thought you’d be so eager?”

“Shut it.”, Fenris ordered him with a smile, “I would prefer if you used your tongue for other things than joking.”

He raised his eyebrows and after a quick peck on Fenris’ lips he could not deny himself, Finn asked: “So? What did you have in mind exactly?”

The elf glared at him and demanded: “Kiss me.”

Finn acted as if he had to thoughtfully consider this and enjoyed Fenris’ growing huff before he stated: “Nope. Got an even better idea.”

Before the elf could ask him what this idea was and Finn clearly saw that he was about to, he sucked at the skin of his neck, earning a low moan that was soon replaced by a surprised gasp as he licked the Lyrium on his throat.

“Better, isn’t it?”, he chuckled as Fenris’ grip in his hair tightened as a response and then he did it again, which brought the elf to pant: “Agreed, better.”

“See, I knew it.”, Finn joked and stroked over the bare skin on Fenris’ chest, his tongue following his fingers. He relished every pant and low, barely audible moan he earned, but decided that there was more to be gained. So Finn kissed one of the slightly darker nipples before licking over it and thereby winning a lustful hiss. But he was not done yet, not for a long, long time.

With a wicked grin Finn kissed Fenris’ sternum, but only to distract him while his hand travelled down and landed on the bulge in his pants. The elf gasped which gave way to a dark chuckle as he said: “Who would have thought you would be so eager?”

Finn laughed and caught Fenris’ smiling lips in a kiss. The elf melted into this kiss, so he opened the lacing in front of his pants. Now he stiffened a bit, but Finn whispered: “You said you trust me. Then trust me in this.”

Their eyes met and although the elf did not say a single word, the soft kiss he planted on Finn’s lips was all the answer he needed.

The black pants were pushed down a bit, just far enough to expose Fenris’ manhood Finn then stroked up and down. The elf closed his eyes, surrendered to his touch and Finn felt his own erection grow simply by watching this beautiful man in front of him that actually trusted him with this.

Not stopping his touch, Finn slowly got to his knees and caressed Fenris now with his lips.

“Finn!”, the elf hissed and dug his hands into the blonde strands, his fingernails grazing over Finn’s scalp, but he did not mind. He kept licking and sucking, enjoyed both the elf’s taste as well as all the soft little sounds he made in his lust. The initial resistance waned until Fenris was stroking through his hair, bucked his hips so that Finn had to pin him against the wall. One hand held the elf in place, the other stroked over the base of Fenris’ length, the part Finn’s lips and tongue did not reach.

“Finn…”, the elf whispered in between pants and Finn saw the Lyrium glow faintly, felt it also tingle his tongue as it was even there. Fenris’ breath grew more and more ragged until he groaned: “Finn, stop it.”

But he was not even thinking of doing this, no, he even intensified his caresses.

“Finn!”, Fenris growled and tried to elude his mouth, but he was not having this and moments later the elf’s grip in his hair was tighter than before, he went rigid as he came and breathed: “Finn…”

He himself enjoyed Fenris’ taste, stroked his sides as he slowly released him from his mouth and stood up again, meeting the elf’s disbelieving gaze while he adjusted the black pants as Fenris’ hands just hung at his sides, motionlessly.

“Why…?”, he panted, “Why did you do that?”

Finn grinned and simply said: “Because I wanted to.”

Fenris blinked at him and asked: “Why…how?”

“Because it was you. I enjoyed that just ‘cos it was you.”, he answered and kissed Fenris’ lips, but did not want to ask too much of him by making him taste himself, however he did not reckon with Fenris kissing him deeply. Yet he did and did not shy away.

“Can it really be that simple?”, Fenris asked thoughtfully, “It is delightful just because of you and me?”

Finn shrugged with a grin and answered: “Probably? I don’t know for sure. I guess we’ll need more testing to verify that statement.“

Wagging his eyebrows he nodded over to the bed and Fenris laughed, a dark and wonderful sound. With a crooked smile, the elf said: “Well then, let’s go to bed. But…”

“I know.”, Finn quickly reassured him, “I won’t push it.“

Again Fenris laughed, pulled him in for a kiss that surprised Finn in his passion and then broke it abruptly to tell him: “It was about to say that you are wearing far too many clothes to go to bed. So strip.”

Mouth agape, Finn stared at him, then shook his head to gather his senses. When he had managed that, Fenris was already lying on the bed, so it was already too late to save his face, yet Finn tried with a joke: “Right in front of you? Wanna watch, should a make a show out of it?”

The elf’s eyes glistened for a moment that busted his calm demeanor although he regained control quickly. As he answered, his voice was hoarse: “Another time, but not today. I…want you here with me, soon.”

Finn’s heart jumped as he heard this and he quickly tore off his clothing, tossing it to the side just taking enough care so as not to throw it into the fireplace. Stark naked, he hesitated, but only to give Fenris a good view and he watched as the elf drank it in, all of him. Finn chuckled when he saw Fenris’ gaze linger on his crotch, clearly showing that he had enjoyed what they had just done, but was not yet satisfied.

Nevertheless, when Finn lay down, he closed his eyes for a moment of rest after this long day. He had used his magic, was tired, yet excited and all too aware of the warm body next to him. Still he waited, wanted Fenris to make the first move.

When it came, Finn was startled, but enjoyed the hesitating, yet curious touch on his chest. His eyes remained closed as he relished in the enquiring touch of warm fingertips that tousled the blonde locks and he had to admit, the inaudible yet sensible hum of the Lyrium only enhanced everything.

“You are so still all of a sudden.”, Fenris murmured next to him, “Is something wrong?”

“No…”, Finn told him with a grin and looked into his eyes, saw concern, hunger and anxiety all mixed together, “I’m just trying to stay calm. Not that easy.”

The elf returned his smile cautiously and replied teasing: “How come?”

Finn scoffed, gestured to the bulge under the blanket and said: “You do have eyes, don’t you? Yeah, I can clearly see your puppy eyes, so use them!”

“There are no puppy eyes.”, Fenris growled, but he shot him a grin and retorted, “Damn straight there are! But I really, really like them.”

Fenris arched an eyebrow and Finn laughed, took his hand in his and chuckled: “Yes, those are your angry puppy eyes, but still puppy eyes.”

His elf groaned in displeasure, but kept silent otherwise, right until Finn leaned closer to kiss him. Then Fenris surprised him by saying: “I still cannot think of a word for your eyes, even though I tried ever since I first looked into them.”

Now he blinked in astonishment, but Fenris kept talking, murmuring his words while he stroked strands of long, blonde hair out of Finn’s face: “They are grey like the sky during a storm, like thundery clouds. Yet none of these seem fitting. You are far too cheerful for such a comparison.”

Finn smiled and said: “Why, thanks. But trust me, I haven’t always been this cheerful, there are dark times in everyone’s life. The important thing is not to let them rule your entire life.”

Slowly and thoughtfully, Fenris nodded and then added with a smile: “I guess you know perfectly well how to make a bad day brighter?”

“I have an idea…”, Finn said with a broad grin the elf returned, then he leaned in and got himself the kiss he had wanted before. Even more, he was pulled closer by Fenris, so close that Finn was already laying half on top of him.

He could not stop a moan as he felt Fenris’ warm hands travel over his body now, from his shoulders to his back, down to his waist until they reached his backside. Finn yelped as the elf firmly grabbed his buttocks, but then laughed.

“You’re serious, huh?”, he asked and slowly, Fenris nodded, “Yes. I…want this. And I do not wish to wait any longer.”

„Fine with me.“, Finn breathed, „Don’t think I could wait much longer.“

With that, he pressed his lips to Fenris’, savoured the kiss with lips, teeth and tongue. Again he trailed kisses and licks down over the elf’s chest, enjoyed the strong hands that tangled themselves in his hair once again. Stroking over his sides, Finn then pulled the black trousers off of Fenris’ legs and leaned back, kneeled on the bed for a moment to simply watch him.

“I’m enjoying the view.”, he explained as the elf shot him a frowning glance, but upon this he laughed hoarsely and retorted with a demonstrative look, “So do I.”

Chuckling, Finn leaned to him again, let his hands roam over the muscular legs and did not hesitate to wrap his fingers around Fenris’ most sensitive part again, earning a low moan by this. As the elf returned the favour, it won him a much louder and less restrained moan from Finn who pleaded: “Whatever you do, don’t stop this.”

Fenris chuckled, did stop it and as Finn’s glare hit him, he asked: “Are there no other…better things you would like to feel?”

“It wasn’t that bad for starters.”, Finn teased and the elf growled, so he lay down next to Fenris and pulled him on top, the elf nuzzled between his opened legs.

A wide-eyed stare hit him and Finn muttered: “C’mon, you know what to do.”

“But…you?”, Fenris asked him, startled, and he nodded, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“It would be for me…”, was the answer Finn got and he gently touched Fenris’ face, pecked him on his lips and explained: “I figured that much. And that’s why I want it this way. Trust me, alright?”

He saw the hesitation in those green eyes and grunted: „Do it, Fenris, now. I want you and I’ll get extremely pissed if you’ll make me wait any longer.”

Still, the elf hesitated and Finn cursed in his mind, but then simply pulled him in for a kiss, a lush and deep kiss that left them both breathless. And Fenris also powerless against his lust, because he did what Finn wanted him to do, still slowly and hesitatingly, but he did.

Finn could not help but arch his back as he first felt fingers enter him and then he moaned embarrassingly loudly as the fingers were replaced by the tip of Fenris’ shaft, merely the tip.

Immediately, Fenris paused, but Finn groaned: “Don’t you dare stop now.”

This won him a dark chuckle and he added: “We’ve made it this far, so go a…ah.”

His little rant was successfully silenced as Fenris pushed forward until their bodies were flush together. He waited again, looked into Finn’s eyes, but he found no words to tell the elf that he was alright. He was, but at the same time he was fully occupied with trying to not come immediately.

So as Finn had no words, he kissed Fenris and hoped he would understand. And Fenris did understand.

No words were needed when they looked for their rhythm together and found it, their hearts racing, bodies acting on a will of their own but harmonized as they did.

Finn was already close, he felt it, but the final spark was missing. So he reached down between their bodies, but Fenris slapped his hand away.

“Hey.”, he complained panting, “I need it, can’t wait any…Fenris, don’t deny me…”

He fell silent mid-sentence when he felt Fenris’ fingers at the sensitive, throbbing length and merely his touch was enough to make him meet his release, spilling liquid over Fenris’ fingers and his own stomach.

With much effort, Finn opened his eyes, saw the elf stare at his now spattered torso in disbelief and then felt Fenris follow him into bliss, his face simply beautiful in that very moment, even more than usual.

He slumped down onto Finn, they both panted heavily, but he ignored this and snatched Fenris’ lips in another kiss. When they parted, Finn sighed contently and looked down at their chests, now both smeared so he glanced at Fenris and joked: “Look at us, we made such a mess.”

The elf blushed, which only made Finn chuckle even more. When Fenris pulled out of him, he moaned at the loss even though the throbbing gave him the impression Fenris was still there, but he was already lying beside him, breathing heavily and a look of disbelief in his eyes.

Finn got up and suppressed a hiss of pain, then he walked over to the little washing bowl, wet the cloth and used it to wash his skin before he damped it again and brought it to Fenris to clean him as well. All the while he felt the elf’s eyes linger on him, even after he had brought the cloth back and was already lying next to him again.

“I’m not sure about you, but I really need to sleep now.”, Finn mumbled into the pillow and saw Fenris smile before the elf stroked a strand of blonde hair back and said, “Then sleep, Finn.”

He frowned as this had somehow sounded strange, almost sad, but he was so content, having just had sex with that wonderful man he was lying in bed with, that he slowly drifted off into sleep while having wrapped one arm around Fenris.


	22. Chapter 22

Fenris jerked from his sleep and was immediately fully awake, his heart pounding and his senses fully alert. Still, the muffled groan of displeasure next to him startled him and he stared wide-eyed at the blonde man in his bed.

Flight. That was his very first impulse and he silently sneaked out of the bed so as not to wake the other man. His feet made no sound on the wooden floor as he reached for his pants and pulled them up, expecting excruciating pain…but there was none.

Frowning in hesitation, Fenris stopped, his pants put on, but not yet closed, as he tried to remember the last day. Danarius came to his mind first and again he wanted to flee. Then the memory of kisses, heat and shared lust hit him with such force that he felt lightheaded and had to lean against the closed door, only to have even more images and sensations flash through his mind, memories of kisses pressed onto his lips hwile had had been pinned to this door, but not by force, simply his will to stay there instead. He had wanted this, wanted…Finn. And he still did as the throbbing in lower regions told him.

No pain, no shame, only lust and…understanding.

Shaking his head in irritation, he chose not to look at the man in his bed, but instead sat down on the wooden bench in front of the fire place. He shivered in the chilly room, so he rekindled the flames and tried to think. But it was in vain.

His body remembered all the things Finn had let him feel, he shuddered as a warm shiver travelled down his spine, his skin tingled in all the places Finn had touched and kissed, most of all his lips did and his cheeks, were the blonde stubble of Finn’s beard had grazed his skin. The mere thoughts made Fenris pant, but most of all did the image of Finn on his knees right in front of him and lying on the bed under him.

Such…humiliating situations, but he had enjoyed them nonetheless and had not been humiliated in the slightest, had not been subdued but simply…given Fenris control when he had needed it and taken it when he himself had faltered, then Finn had just guided him.

He…trusted the mage, even lo… No, he was a mage!

Fenris hissed sharply at this realisation and jumped to his feet, ready to pack a few things and go. But where exactly should he flee to?

Sighing, he admitted to himself that there was nowhere else he wanted to be, he only wanted to be with Finn.

Slowly, he turned his head and looked at the sleeping mage…and had to smile within an instant. Finn was lying on his stomach, his face nuzzled into the pillow, and was snoring lightly. The fact that he had kicked away the blanket gave Fenris a view he liked, so he carefully looked at the light skin, the broad shoulders and the backside of the mage. Even though Fenris had…touched him even there, Finn was content, he could clearly see this and his smile broadened.

He could not leave and he did not wish to anymore. Years of loneliness during his flight had been more than enough, Fenris was sick of being alone, had been for a long time, but this had intensified after having met Finn. He was a mage, but most of all, he was a man. Cheerful to the obnoxious sometimes, cocky as no man Fenris had ever met before…but at the same time thoughtful, caring, brave and strong. He was someone to hold onto in a time of need who would not take his advantages from this. What more could Fenris ask for?

Nothing, he decided in silence and went over to the bed again. He wanted to lie down again and sleep, enjoy the feeling of not being alone anymore, but he stopped short and quickly took off his pants again. No barriers, not anymore.

Quietly, Fenris sat down onto the bed and nudged Finn in order to make him shift to the side as he was occupying almost the entire bed. The mage grunted in his sleep, but then rolled over a bit and gave Fenris just about enough room to lie down.

Yet, he did not, but instead looked at the sleeping man in his bed, saw his blond hair, completely tousled and deranged from their earlier actions, saw his chest heave gently with the breaths he took. Smiling, he lay down next to Finn and turned his back to him, astonished at first that he wanted to, but then happy about the fact that he trusted Finn enough to do this.

He closed his eyes as he pulled the blanket over both of them, but was startled from his beginning slumber as Finn cuddled against his back, his chest nuzzled up against Fenris’ back. Both of them entirely naked.

Slowly, he calmed down again when Finn wrapped one arm around him and mumbled into his hair: “Fenris…”

“Yes?”, he asked with a smile, but as Finn did not react, he turned around slightly, barely enough to look into his eyes…and saw that he was still fast asleep.

Yet he had murmured Fenris’ name, a realization that warmed his heart and plastered a smile onto his lips he could not get rid of as he nestled closer to the mage behind him and found delight in sharing a bed…for the very first time.


	23. Chapter 23

Finn smiled as he slowly awoke and hoped for the dream to linger just a wee bit longer. Feeling Fenris in him was far too good to let it end so quickly. However, he was awake and sighed in displeasure before he opened his eyes…and froze.

Quickly, an almost moronic smile crept onto his lips as he saw Fenris lie there, his eyes still closed and lips slightly parted. He was actually there.

Finn cuddled a little closer and the sting of pain told him that the last night had in fact not been a dream, they had had slept in this bed together and by that thoroughly messed it up. Great!

But he frowned a little as he saw Fenris to his left, away from the wall, when he was sure that the elf had fallen asleep lying between him and the wall. Finn shrugged the thought off and put one arm around Fenris’ waist.

This woke the elf, as he had anticipated, yet not intended and so he whispered: “Morning, sunshine.”

Fenris opened only one of those deep green eyes and then wordlessly grumbled.

“Not an early bird, I take it?”, Finn teased, but received no answer as the elf ignored his words and closed his eye again, so he added, “Maybe this will cheer you up a bit…”

With this, Finn pulled him closer and leaned in for kiss, soft and lazy. At least that was what he had planned, but Fenris changed that plan within an instant, just by opening his mouth for him and wasting no time to nudge his tongue against Finn’s. Growling lowly, Finn rolled on top of the elf and pressed him closer. When they parted for a quick breath, Fenris smiled and said: “Good morning to you, too.”

This made Finn laugh and he tightened his embrace, glad to feel Fenris’ arms around his shoulders, hands in his hair. He loved the elf’s fingers in his hair. Just lying there, his head rested on the elf’s shoulder, Finn listened to his heartbeat, a telltale sign for how much he enjoyed their intimacy…apart from the very clear sign Fenris’ hardening flesh gave Finn felt press against his stomach.

He grinned and planted kisses on the elf’s chest. In between some of them, he uttered: “Ready for round two?”

This earned him a dark chuckle, but then the elf framed his cheeks with his warm hands and asked hoarsely: “Depends…what do you intend to do?”

Finn arched an eyebrow at this and searched Fenris’ face for any indication on what he was thinking, but his face betrayed absolutely nothing. Cautiously Finn watched him and then asked a counter-question: “What do you have in mind?”

A crooked smile was his answer before the elf whispered: “Test your statement into more detail.”

At first, he could not follow Fenris’ line of thought, but when he finally did, Finn was speechless. He wanted to explore more, see what form of affections he could now enjoy to give or receive just because now it was the two of them, both wanting the other.

He licked his suddenly dry lips when he saw Fenris smile and was absolutely powerless to do anything when the elf gently pushed him off to the side. Finn simply lay there on his back, completely exposed and watched breathlessly how Fenris eyed his body up and down, letting his hands follow the path his eyes had laid out. This brought them to Finn’s sensitive morning glory and when Fenris touched the already throbbing flesh, he could not help but moan into the otherwise silent bedroom.

Eyes closed, he savoured the feeling and gasped as he felt Fenris’ lips on his chest.

“I’m dreaming, right?”, Finn groaned jokingly, “This is all a fucking dream and I’m gonna be alone when I wake up and you will be go…Ouch!”

His eyes shot open as slight pain hit him because Fenris’ fingers had gripped his delicate areas a little too firmly for a moment, apparently only to shut him up. Now he was staring right into the elf’s eyes as he told Finn in a slightly angry whisper: “I am here and I will not leave you, not by choice. Never doubt that.”

Canny fingers resumed their strokes and left Finn panting which Fenris only made use of to kiss him deeply. Biting his tongue to silence moans that would otherwise have been embarrassingly loud, Finn clung to the elf’s shoulders, tried his best to postpone the end of his caresses…when Fenris suddenly stopped.

Shooting open his eyes, Finn glared at him, but as he got no explanation, he groaned: “What are you…?”

“Shush.”, Fenris ordered and tilted his head as if he was listening for something. Finn frowned, but then his elf suddenly jumped out of the bed, hastily put on trousers, grabbed his sword on the way out and was running down the stairs.

Not hesitating any longer, Finn did his best to follow him quickly, but that really wasn’t easy with such a boner. Still, he somehow managed to even close his pants and also thought of putting on his shoes before he ventured out into the dangerous field of debris that was Fenris’ hall.

When he reached the gallery, he saw his elf stand in front of another elf who had just entered the mansion from the looks of it, and he had his sword ready threatening the elven woman as he growled: “How dare you come here, sister?”

Varania, the girl they had met yesterday, flinched at his angry voice, her hands raised in defense as she stumbled: “I…I had to talk to you, Leto. I could not simply go…”

“My name is Fenris.”, was the growled answer, a pure threat. Again she winced and said: “Yes, Fenris, forgive me. Just…let me explain, just a few words…”

“No.”, was all he calmly replied, untouched by the tears streaming down her face. Finn, however, wanted to hear what she had to say. When she did, her sobbing made it hard to understand her words: “You don’t know what happened after you had volunteered for Danarius’ contest to become his Lyrium warrior!”

What? Finn was dumbstruck, as was Fenris who simply stared at his sister who then hastily wiped her tears away and said: “Right, you can’t remember. Then let me tell you: You chose to become his bodyguard. You wanted those markings.”

“I did no such thing!”, Fenris hissed, yet Finn heard the lingering doubts in his voice, as did Varania, sadly telling him, „You did. And you did this for the noblest cause…freedom for Mother and me.”

Slowly, Finn had to smile, because this seemed so unbelievably fitting, he deemed it a deed Fenris would do within the blink of an eye.

“I…did?”, Fenris asked hesitatingly and his sister nodded, a crooked smile on her face, so similar to her brother’s, “You did. But…believe me, you got the better end of the bargain.”

Wrong answer. Finn flinched at this, as did Varania when Fenris raised his broadsword in a threat and hissed: “Did you not hear what Danarius said?!”

“I did.”, she firmly said, “But do you really believe a girl, an elf, living on her own had it any easier than you?”

Fenris hesitated and Finn grimaced as he understood what she was referring to. Oh no… Sometimes he really hated to be right.

„What do you think happened after Mother died?!“, Varania hissed, but then sighed sadly, wiped tears away and added, her voice choked, “I was free, but destitute. I am an elf, so no one wanted me as anything else than a slave or a whore. What options did I have?”

“No…”, Fenris mumbled and lowered the sword, but his sister only scoffed, “Yes, exactly that. Alas, not for long as Danarius found me again after I nearly killed a man at the whorehouse…accidentally.”

Fenris frowned and she added: “Newly discovered magical talents aren’t easy to contro…”

Amidst her word, she stopped short and covered her mouth with her hands, but it was too late. Fenris snarled: “You are a mage?”

Finn was as disbelieving as he was, yet not angry. Varania blanched at the fury in her brother’s voice and took a careful step back, calmly speaking: „I am. This made me return to Danarius, nothing else. But he did not train me as he had promised, he never even had the intention of training me, make me a magistra. I learned that the hard way. And I understand that you hate…my kind. So I will not bother you. Farewell.”

With these words, she turned around, but Finn called after her: „He doesn’t hate all mages.”

She spun around again and stared at him as he quickly came down the stairs and her eyes widened as he gently touched Fenris’ shoulder, whispering: “Calm down, she’s not the enemy.”

“She sold me out.”, he objected, but Finn shrugged, “Can you blame her? She was desperate, is desperate still. And she’s your only family.“

A glare hit him, clearly asking why that should make any difference and so Finn whispered: „Don’t throw something away other people long for all their lives…people like me.“

Now both stared at him and he felt exposed, not only because of the fact that he was not wearing a shirt, so he brushed the unspoken question off by stating: “I was a foundling. If I have family, then I don’t know about them.”

He then turned to Varania and as her eyes flicked from him to Fenris and back again, growing wider as she saw them both half-naked and clearly understood what she had interrupted, he only smiled. But then Finn grew serious and told her: “He does not hate all mages. Believe me, I know it.”

He waited until he had her full attention to summon a little fireball into his hand.

She stared at the little display of magic, but her eyes glistened with something Finn had seen in Fenris’ very similar eyes only last night. Curiosity. Hope.

„A good friend of mine tries everything he can to find mages on flight a new home.”, he then explained and immediately saw hesitant hope as well as suspicion in Varania’s eyes. Clever girl. Yet he added: “We can even try to find you decent training.”

Fenris watched him closely out of eyes as suspicious as his sister’s, but he said nothing in contrast to her who scoffed: “Yes, training. What will be the price?”

“Not what you think.”, Finn quickly reassured her, his hands raised and the fireball gone, „We wish to help. Of course, we could use some help ourselves. My friend runs a clinic, so if you’d lend him a hand, he’d surely appreciate this.”

Her eyes narrowed in a fashion so similar to Fenris’ that Finn had to stifle a grin: “And don’t worry, he’s so much into another girl, he won’t even see you’re a woman, too.”

A groan answered him, coming from both Varania and Fenris, again very similar.

“You can’t deny that you’re brother and sister.”, Finn laughed and a furious glare hit him, again twice, “See what I mean?”

Suddenly, Varania chuckled, but her quiet laughter soon turned to sobs of disbelief and Finn sighed deeply as he saw Fenris’ confused look.

“You don’t know nothing about girls, do you?”, he mumbled at the elf and then flashed him a grin, “Good thing I’m a man, then, huh?”

Varania was still crying, though quietly now and hid her face in her hands. When he reached her, Finn gently pried her tender hands away and told her: “It’s over, honey. Danarius, that bastard, is gone. You’re in a region where there’s no slavery and with what my friend Anders and I can teach you, no slave hunter would dare pick on you. Don’t forget, you’re a mage, you’re not powerless. Never again.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed and then nodded: „Never.“

“Atta girl.”, he smiled and hesitantly, she returned this. Finn had not said anything about Fenris helping her as well on purpose, for he could not speak for the elf, yet he sure hoped he would realize in time that family was worth putting up with the trouble. That was at least what Finn hoped it was like.

“Let us fetch some clothes and we can get you to Anders, agreed?”, he asked of Varania who was still cautious, but her hope got the better of her and so she said, “Yes, thank you. And Fenris, I am sorry I just entered your…house? Mansion? And…I did not mean to interrupt you two…”

Those last words waned off as she only mumbled them, but nevertheless did they make Finn chuckle, “Well, it’s a little late for that. But don’t worry.”

He gave her another smile, then turned to Fenris and asked: “Would you?”

This simple question contained so much more and the elf knew it. Would he come with Finn to get dressed? Likely. Would he accompany them to Anders? Probably. Would he ever take a liking to his sister, accept her? Finn really was not sure about that bit. So they looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment that stretched until it was almost unbearable for him. Then, suddenly, Fenris briskly turned around and ordered Varania: “Wait here.”

Finn gave her an apologetic look and saw her narrow her eyes at her brother. He followed Fenris into the bedroom and his skin tingled all over just from the memory of what they had done yesterday…and what they had been about to do when Varania had interrupted them. Well, pity…

“I do not trust her.”, Fenris harshly said, “I do not care whether she harms Anders, but Hawke likes him for a peculiar reason, so…”

“It’s the same reason why you like me.”, Finn interrupted and hoped, he really hoped that this was true. He had clearly seen that Marie had deep feelings for Anders, but Fenris…he hoped so, he really did.

Dark eyebrows shot up in surprise and then Fenris slowly mumbled looking into Finn’s eyes: “True…”

This was all he had wanted to hear and even though he knew that Varania was waiting, he could not help but pull Fenris in for a kiss. The elf returned it, but then slowly shoved him away and breathed: “Not now…later.”

“Promise?”, Finn smirked and a dark chuckle answered him, along with the auspicious words, “We do have to test your statement, don’t we?”

“Blazes, we do!”, Finn scoffed and grinned like a moron while Fenris was already getting dressed, but as he looked for his armour, he told the elf: “I put all that metal in the next room.”

Fenris was not happy too about this, maybe just because it altered his routine, Finn thought, but he did not complain. Instead, he came back almost ready to go when Finn, however, firstly had to find all his clothes he had scattered in the room last night.

“Ha, gotcha.”, he then grinned as he spotted his shirt in a far off corner. He could see Fenris shake his head in disbelief, but he simply bent down to collect the shirt…and hissed in pain.

“Ouch…”, he mumbled and immediately, Fenris was at his side, demanding an explanation without saying a word.

“Nothing.”, he replied while putting on his clothes, knowing well that he would not get away with this, but yet he was reluctant to state the truth. Alas, Fenris was a clever man as he now learned because he gathered right away why Finn was in pain.

“Did I…I hurt you.”, he whispered, dread in his eyes, so Finn quickly said, “No, you didn’t. Not really. Look, I’m a bit sore down there, yeah, but it’s fine, it’s normal. And it isn’t that much pain, more of a…sting.”

There they were, puppy eyes the finest and Finn touched the elf’s cheeks while he told him: “It is some sort of pain, but it is not grave, more a…reminder that you actually were there. I like it.”

Fenris breathed in relief, but yet Finn could see that he was not yet convinced. So he grinned mischievously and looked into those desirable green eyes before he whispered: “Still, we could get some oil for next time, would make it easier.”

He saw Fenris close his eyes tightly and felt him tremble in arousal. Yes, exactly what he had aimed for.

“Alas, we’ll have to postpone that.”, he sang in regret that was not sham, but exaggerated into incredibility and Fenris glared at him, then dug his hands into Finn’s hair and after a harsh kiss that caught him totally of guard, his elf hissed: “I will take you up on that.”

“Good…”, Finn could only pant as an answer before he followed Fenris out into the hall. Varania’s smirk she tried hard to hide but did not succeed in told him that she knew very well what they had just done, so Finn flashed her a wide grin and suggested: “Let’s go.”


	24. Chapter 24

There was not much going on in Darktown at this early time of day, not that there had been much more happening in Hightown. Just a few rascals were running about, but most of them knew Finn and the stray boys even greeted him: “Hey, Finn!”

He only waved at them and then turned back to his companions, seeing Fenris frown and Varania look suspiciously at him in a very similar fashion.

“What?”, Finn asked them with a shrug, so the elven girl retorted in a counter-question, “What are you, anyways? You live with my brother, you offered to teach me and now you lead me to the darkest, literally darkest part of Kirkwall and… you’re everyone’s your best friend?!”

“Not everyone’s.”, Finn grumbled, “Tomwise is an idiot and botches all his poisons up. Don’t ever buy something, I’m a far better alchemist.”

“Wow, you’re not cocky at all, are you?”, Varania mumbled and Finn had to grin. He liked that girl, very much so indeed, but the quick glance he exchanged with Fenris told him that his elf had also thought of the same thing he had right now. His sister saw their looks and groaned: “Argh, men! You say “cock” and that’s all they’ll ever hear!”

„Sorry, honey, you lost me at „cock“, what did you say?“, Finn asked her and she shot him an angry glance, so much like Fenris’, but whilst her brother was already chuckling his deep, dark chuckle, she actually opened her mouth to hiss at him, but then laughed. She really laughed and it sounded wholeheartedly, such a scarce, yet wonderful sound in Kirkwall and especially Darktown.

“You know…I think training with you will be a pain in the arse.”, Varania muttered, but then grinned, “And it will be as nerve-wracking as it will be fun.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”, Finn replied cheerfully and saw Fenris’ smile that seemed insecure to him. At first he frowned while they were going to the clinic, but then he gathered what upset his elf. He was jealous, but not angry, just…sad. Maybe afraid to lose him?

Finn would not have any of this. So he simply reached for Fenris’ hand and took it, earning a surprised stare by this. His smile answered the elf and hopefully reassured him while Finn looked at him, waiting for him to realize that he would not leave that easily. When Fenris did and showed this by bending the corners of his gracious lips just a tiny bit upwards, Finn grinned.

Varania seemed to be oblivious about their exchange, but Finn was sure that she was just polite enough not to interrupt again.

Fenris let go of his hand far too soon for Finn’s liking, but he accepted this and as he saw the lantern above the door to the clinic, he told Varania: “See that lantern? When it’s lit, that means Anders is ready to help patients.”

“So…he’s not in right now?”, the elf concluded and Finn chuckled in admission, “He’s living there, maybe he’s not yet up. But he soon will be.”

“Wow, those poor bastards having you for a friend.”, Varania joked, „They really don’t need enemies.“

“You’re one of those poor bastards now, so consider yourself lucky…or doomed.”, Finn retorted and saw her grin. It was delightful to see her go from freaked out ex-slave to hardened, yet cheerful young woman. And he was convinced that training her would be fun as heck.

“So, how do you plan to get in?”, Varania wanted to know, her voice challenging, but there was a slight glistening of insecurity.

“Simple.”, Finn shrugged and rummaged through the pockets in his trousers, “I have a key.”

She shook her head in silent laughter as Finn opened the door and then called: “Anders! Hey, wake up, I got a guest!”

Silence followed by a muffled thud of someone tripping over their own feet. Finn curiously raised an eyebrow and almost choked with laughter as Anders stumbled out of his little bedroom, his hair messed up and down for a change, his pants resting low on his hips and no shirt on his body.

“Great, another half-naked man.”, Varania whispered caught between shock and amusement when Anders asked, panting, “Finn, by the blights! What is it?”

He pointed at the elven woman next to him and said: “Let me introduce you to Varania, Fenris’ sister…and a mage in need.”

At first, Anders had frowned, but then, upon mention of Varania being a mage, his expression softened and grew almost sad. He walked over to them and held his hand out for Varania to shake it. As she did with a shy smile, Anders told her returning her smile: “Hello, Varania. You came to the right place, we will help you any way we can. And don’t worry, we won’t let anyone like that bastard Danarius get to you.”

Upon their questioning looks, he shrugged: “Hawke told me.”

This only intensified Finn’s enquiring gaze and Anders bit his lip in discomfort, muttering a curse. Then he showed them a crooked smile and called into the direction of his bedchamber: “We’re busted, Sweetheart.”

And out came Marie, her cheeks flushed, but at least she was properly dressed as she waved at them and mumbled embarrassed: “Morning…”

Finn could not stop the broad grin spreading on his lips and as Marie had reached them, he simply snatched them both up in his arms.

“It took long enough, you two twats!”, he told them and Marie giggled as she returned his embrace and then answered, “Indeed. And I have to thank you as you kind of set this up.”

“So it worked?”, Finn wanted to know as he let them go and Anders said: “Yes, it did. When I realised that you bastard had planned this, I was going to have your ass for it, but…now I owe you.”

“Yes, you do!”, Finn laughed and then turned to Varania who looked at them insecurely, but amused and curious, “She is a mage, Anders, and has not been trained properly. We gotta change that.”

“Yes.”, was all Anders said and as he looked at Marie, she nodded and suggested: „I will go. There’s still some business in Kirkwall to see to. Will you accompany me, Fenris?”

The elf was a bit startled, so it seemed to Finn, but then he nodded: „Of course.“

“But?”, Finn drawled and earned a glare for that, until Fenris muttered, “I do not know what you see in him, Hawke, but…I trust your judgement. Which does not mean I trust him.”

“Hey, better than last time!”, Anders cheered and Marie only smiled as she returned to the bedroom in silence.

“So…”, Finn grinned wickedly, “I wanna hear all the details.”

“Forget it.”, Anders stated and with a smile and a wink he added, “A gentleman kisses, but never tells.”

“There was a whole lot more than kissing, I guess.”, Finn grumbled, but his friend really kept silent, so he shrugged.

Awkward silence ensued and Finn asked of Fenris: “Are you alright?”

Telling from his frown, he was not, but his elf merely growled: “A word in private?”

He winked at Fenris, but the elf was not in the mood for jokes and as they had walked to the side a little bit, yet just as far for Anders to hear them, Fenris whispered angrily: “I do not trust him.”

“I know.”, Finn chimed in but Fenris angrily shook his head and stated: “No. I…do not want him near…my sister.”

Slowly, Finn had to grin and told his elf: “You care for her, even though you don’t know her and claim not to care, you do.”

“I do not trust her, either.”, Fenris rectified, “Yet. But…I will heed your words and not throw away what others never get the chance to have. I will try, but…it will not be easy.”

Fenris sighed deeply as he admitted this and Finn smiled softly, replying: “When has anything worth it ever been easy?”

Fenris returned his smile, but Finn simply had to top it off: “You were especially hard to get.”

His elf growled in annoyance, however, he did not object, which meant he agreed and so Finn grinned broadly.

“Alright, take care, will you?”, Marie’s voice made Finn turn around and he saw her standing in front of Anders who smiled at her, happier than…maybe ever.

“Only if you do that, too, Sweetheart.”, he replied and Marie got to the tips of her toes to peck him on the cheek and then, albeit hesitantly, on his lips. Finn sighed theatrically at this adorable sight and Marie shot him a glare for that, but Anders smiled contently.

Frowning suddenly, Finn asked into Fenris’ direction: “Will you kiss me good-bye?”

As Anders’ disbelieving stare hit him, along with Marie’s smile, Varania’s hardly contained giggle and Fenris’ death-glare, only then did Finn realise what he had just given away and so he chuckled: “Well…busted, I guess.”

Fenris growled lowly and then mumbled in Arcanum: “Actually, I should not do this, but…I cannot leave without it. And…neither do I wish to.”

Saying nor more, Fenris grabbed the collar of Finn’s shirt and pulled him down to him, crashing his lips to Finn’s in a harsh kiss that left him breathless. Without another word, his elf then stormed out of the clinic and Hawke hurried after him, but smiled brightly at Finn while rushing past him.

He, in contrast, could only stand there and follow Fenris with his eyes even after he had long since left.

“Now I want all the details.”, Anders laughed, still disbelieving, but Finn retorted in payback, “A gentleman kisses, but never tells.”

“Pha!”, Anders scoffed, “Since when are you a gentleman, huh?”

With that, he gave Fin a sharp smack on his backside. Nothing unusual between them, but at this very day it made him wince in pain. Anders realised this and, from the widened eyes and then the smug smirk, Finn could tell that he knew.

“My, my…you did a lot more than kissing.”

“Gosh!”, Varania hissed, „Those images in my head are killing me. Could we start training? Ahem…please, I mean.”

Finn laughed and said: „Don’t worry about apologising all that much. We’re all friends here, you know? No masters, no slaves.”

“I know.”, she briskly replied, but Finn could see the eagerness in her eyes, yet Anders was quicker: „So, what did you learn?“

She licked her lips nervously and then shrugged: “Just to keep demons away so I wouldn’t turn into an abomination as this would have been “unpleasant”. Bastard.”

Finn had to smile as he recognised even the tone in which she swore as similar to Fenris’.

„Alright, so you have no idea where your talents lie, correct?“, Anders asked and she nodded in annoyance and upon his friend’s side-glance, Finn nodded.

“Try to do what I do, alright?”, he asked of Varania and she looked up at him when he opened his hand and summoned a little ball of light. She groaned: “How should I…?”

“Try.”, Finn asked of her and took her hand, „Try. Feel the light of the spirit, hear it hum. Try.”

The elf closed her eyes, concentrated…and gave up far too quickly: „No, I can’t.“

Finn took a deep breath and asked: “How did you almost kill him?”

She shook her head in incomprehension, so he specified: “The bugger in the brothel.”

She winced at this and her eyes peeped at Anders who grimaced, but kept calm.

“Lightning…”, Varania mumbled, “I…I don’t know how, but suddenly there were bolts shooting from my hands as he…”

“Shush, it’s alright.”, Finn mumbled as he saw tears prick at her eyes, “Try this.”

With that he summoned a little ball of lightning into his hand and lightly squeezed their entwined fingers, telling her: “Remember the feeling when those bolts had come, grasp it. And then just give way to it a tiny bit…”

Again she concentrated and this time, a gentle crackling was heard until there was a bright bolt in her hand, small, dancing as it was not stable, but it was there. And gosh, it had power.

“Alright, stop it.”, Finn told her and was amazed by her self-control as she immediately sent her powers to sleep again.

“Was that…good or bad?”, she asked shyly.

“That was bloody amazing that was.”, Anders mumbled, „Are you sure you never had any training?“

“Yes.”, she retorted, somewhat angry, but smiling shyly as she asked, “So…you can train me?”

“Oh yeah.”, Finn said, “I guess you’re a natural at Primal magic. Lightning and earth. Maybe even Elemental which means power over fire and ice. We’ll try and find out.”

She smiled at him and Anders said: “Seeing you don’t need me…you know where to go, Finn, I’ll open the clinic.”

“Do that.”, he answered and nodded at Varania to follow him.

“Where are we going?”, she asked and Finn replied, “A little off, so that we don’t alert any tinmen. Templars.”

She nodded, obviously eager to learn more. Finn smiled and led her to a deserted tunnel of the old mines just a little off the clinic. It had been rat infested, but after a few fits of rage he had worn off by shooting fire all around, they were all gone…or rotting toasted.

“Alright, honey.”, Finn turned around to Varania and gave her a crooked grin, “Lesson one…”


	25. Chapter 25

Finn waited. Purposely, he wanted to make Varania anxious, make her impatient. And he succeeded far faster than he had anticipated as she asked, her red eyebrows knit: “What is lesson o…Whoa!”

He had interrupted her by shooting a little bolt of lightning directly at her feet and now he grinned: “Lesson one…be prepared. Always.”

“Are you daft?!”, she blurted out, having jumped back a few feet, more than Finn had expected her to. But then she suddenly gasped in shock, probably shocked by her own words, and hung her head in shame…just like a slave. Again, Finn waited, this time for her to realise that she was no slave any longer, that she actually could answer back, even call him names if she wished to. As she squared her shoulders, Finn knew that she had come to this conclusion and she did not apologise, but instead looked him in the eye and said: “Understood.”

“Good.”, he smiled, “Then let’s keep going. First thing you gotta learn is block spells. Your own magic isn’t any good if you don’t get the time to cast it.”

She nodded and so Finn explained: “Dispelling magic isn’t particularly hard in itself. The difficult thing is to be ready and be fast enough to do it before your enemy lands a hit.”

“Be prepared.”, Varania mumbled and he nodded at her, “Atta girl.”

His elven apprentice playfully winked at him and Finn just had smile as it was wonderful to see her shed off the chains of slavery, slowly but surely.

“Try to dispel my fireball.”, Finn prompted which left her startled for a moment, but Varania regained control quickly and soberly asked of him: “How?”

“Try.”, was all he said and Finn saw her brace herself as he summoned flames into his hand. Varania narrowed her eyes in concentration and stared at the ball of flames, still trying to figure out a way how to do it.

“You think too much.”, Finn told her, “And as good as thinking is when you got the time for it, in a fight, thinking can get you killed. Act.”

“How?”, she asked again, growing more and more unsure of her skills, he could see it. She was frightened, yet she stayed strong. Remarkable, Finn thought, and it had to run in the family.

“Try.”, Finn repeated and saw the anger in her eyes, so similar to her brother’s. But in contrast to Fenris, she did not speak her anger in growls, she joked bitterly: “And what am I to do? Blink at the fireball, charm it with my eyes?”

“That would work on any man, I tell you that.”, Finn told her with a smirk and then grew serious, “But not on a fireball or a demon. Try. I want to see what you can do.”

She was angry, but she nodded. But still she was thinking too much, so Finn decided to take this training session onto the next level without asking her permission. He shot the fireball directly at her.

Varania had no time to do anything but react, so she did. She dashed off to the side and Finn felt her magic awaken to defend her so his little fireball vanished into thin air, just curling smoke remained.

Dumbstruck, Varania stared at that smoke, then at Finn and he grinned broadly at the disbelief in her eyes. This grin grew even wider as he saw a disbelieving smile slowly creep up on her lips, until she laughed breathlessly.

“Be prepared.”, she repeated and nodded thoughtfully, yet smiling, “I know what you mean now.”

“Good.”, Finn replied and she shot back, “But that was reckless.”

“Maybe.”, he shrugged, “Yet it taught you something so I’d call that move successful.”

Again she nodded and Finn said: “Alright, let’s move on. I want to see what you’re able to do, so next thing’s gonna be…blood magic.”

He carefully watched his pupil, saw her eyes grow wide in shock and she gasped: “No! I saw what that did to Danarius, to all the magister’s in Tevinter. And to their victims. No! I will not do this.”

Finn kept staring at her, watched closely for any signs of her backing down, bowing to this demand he had made, but she did not, instead, she affirmed her words: “I have seen enough demons for a lifetime, I won’t summon them myself and I surely don’t want to end as an abomination. No!”

“Good.”, Finn nodded and as this left her puzzled, he explained, “You passed the test, I wanted to see how you’d react. And you did the only sound thing. Very good, Varania.”

She blinked a few times, but then smiled shyly and mumbled: “The magister’s are mad with power, I don’t want to become one of them. I accepted Danarius’ sham offer to make me a magistra because I hoped it would get me away from the brothel. And it did…only to bring me into another cage with just one man to…you know. Wasn’t much better than having more of them around.”

Finn bit his lip as he had not wanted to raise these horrible memories again and so he put one arm around her shoulders to comfort her as this was all he could do. Her head shot up, eyes wide as they met his, so Finn said: “You went through all this and still you’re sane. You could try to get revenge…”

“What good would that do?”, she asked, tears audible in her voice, and Finn replied: “Nothing good, but some would’ve striven for it nonetheless. But you’re better. Still, don’t be afraid of your powers, you will need them one day. So…”

“Be prepared.”, Varania said with a smile and Finn nodded, gave her shoulder a squeeze and explained: “Blood magic is for the daft…and the desperate. It is powerful, but very dangerous, you’d be a fool to ignore the dangers blood magic entails. Yet for some it is the only thing they have left. At least that is what they believe, but most of them are wrong. There is always hope. I learned that long ago and I guess so did you.”

“I…guess I did…”, Varania murmured, “Though, sometimes, I don’t believe it. But I try to with all my heart.”

“Keep it that way.”, Finn told her, then let her go and clapped his hands, cheerfully saying, “Alright, next up, and this time for real, ice. Show me what you’ve got!”

Like this they practiced for hours, Finn always just telling Varania what to do and having her find her own way to actually do it. When she did not succeed, he gave her a hint, but she managed everything he asked of her, fire, ice, lightning, a little stone fist. Only the misdirection hex he asked her to put onto a cockroach he had found gave her trouble, but Finn was not surprised.

“Alright, let it go.”, he told her after the forth unsuccessful attempt, clearly shown by the fact that the cockroach was still walking perfectly straight, “I guess this isn’t your field of magic.”

“Why not?”, Varania asked, enthusiastic after her magic had bent to her will so marvellously. Finn shrugged with a crooked grin and asked: “You’re a tidy person, right? Wanna have your things in order, sorted out nicely?”

She nodded and then asked with a tremendous lack of understanding: “Who would not?”

At this Finn snorted with laughter and said: “Me, I’m a bit chaotic, but you and your dear brother are the tidiest persons I ever met.”

Varania gave him a doubtful look and so he added with a smile: “Well, apart from the mansion, but that isn’t really his. I bet if he had accepted it as home by now, the place would shine.”

She smiled sadly and said: “You know, when we were little, Leto always nagged at me for messing up his things…even if I hadn’t touched them. Everything had to be perfectly straight, perfectly in order. It was driving even me insane!”

They laughed together and then she asked, serious all of a sudden: “What does he mean to you? I mean…what are your…intentions?”

“I guess you know that.”, Finn grinned jokingly, but she unexpectedly hit him for that and hissed: “I’m serious. I…don’t want to see him hurt. He may be my big brother, but I will try to protect him now that I found him again! After all he… he sacrificed his life for what he thought best for Mother and me…”

She grimaced and then huffed: “Enough of this, let’s keep the training up.”

As she turned around, Finn stopped her and looked into her eyes as he sincerely told her: “Fenris means a lot to me. He has his flaws, I have mine, but he’s a good man, I know that much. I also know that even though he tried to do what was best for you, he failed as it made things worse. But he meant well and he still does. He cares for you because something in him remembers you, I’m sure.”

Varania gave him a crooked, bitter smile and said: “Let’s hope this is true.”

A low growl then followed and they both laughed as they understood that it had been Finn’s stomach, so he joked: “Well, someone’s complaining that there hasn’t been any breakfast. C’mon, honey, let’s fetch something to eat.”

She nodded in approval, but as she turned around to leave the abandoned tunnel at Finn’s side, Varania tripped.

“Ouch.”, she hissed as she got up, “I felt…lightheaded.”

“No wonder.”, Finn shrugged, “We’ve been here for hours. Actually, I would’ve thought that you’d have long since given up.”

“Thanks a bunch.”, she groaned and looked at her hand that was bleeding from a small cut, probably by a stone on the ground as she had just stumbled.

“Heal it.”, Finn told her and she stared at him for a moment, but then knit her brows in concentration and tried. It did not work the first time, not the second…but the third attempt closed the little wound, if only slowly.

“Guess you’re no healer then.”, Finn joked, “So we’d better stick with elemental and primal spells. Those are way more interesting anyways.”

She chuckled as they left the tunnel and both blinked heavily as they ventured out into Darktown, now lit by the sun as it was midday. Usually that would not have meant much in Darktown, but the former sewers were even darker.

Together, they entered the clinic and although there were quite a few patients, Anders immediately saw to them, asking hastily: “Where have you been that long?”

“Training.”, Finn said, but Anders asked in disbelief: “For five hours in a row?!”

“Um…yeah.”, he answered, “But now that you say so, I’m actually surprised myself.”

“Because I should have given up long since?”, Varania asked with a smile and Anders huffed, “Andraste, yes! Normally, someone just beginning their training can’t go on that long. You should have collapsed hours ago from exhaustion.”

“Thanks then, teacher.”, Varania teased Finn and he laughed, put an arm around her and said, “You did well, so why stop you? Besides, now we’re both hungry and exhausted, so a proper meal will taste twice as good! And we’d even enjoy Anders’ horrible cooking.”

“Very funny…”, said mage grumbled with a smile, but led them to a kettle and said, “Help yourself.”

“Thanks.”, Finn said, “And Anders? Marie does you good. You’re not grumpy, not at all.”

His friend smiled warmly and answered: “Indeed she does. So thank you.”

With this, he left them alone and at her curious look, Finn explained to Varania: “I set the two of them up and it resulted in…well, you were there, figure it out.”

“I guess I did.”, she answered chuckling and grabbed a bowl, filled it with some indescribable stew Anders had cooked up during forenoon as it seemed and immediately began to wolf it down. Finn himself was not that eager to eat it, because Anders’ cooking was still a crime against his taste buds, but he was hungry and so he ate it after all.

Varania next to him had soon finished her second helping and then plopped onto a pallet with a sigh: “Gosh, I am exhausted.”

“So you don’t want to hear about magic any further?”, Finn asked and tried to appear serious. Apparently it worked, because she sat up again and said: “I cannot cast another spell I think, but please, tell me everything. I…wish to learn as much as I can.”

Finn smiled and as she narrowed her eyes, he knew he was caught even before she said: “This was the response you wanted.”

“Yep.”, he said, smiled and she returned this, saying, “Well then, start wherever you will.”

She propped her pretty face up on her elbows and waited, listening eagerly. So Finn told her all the things he remembered about the origins and laws of magic. Some things she had already known, some were new to her as Danarius had lied to her. And when he spoke about the nature of the different fields of magic, he soon knew that no one had ever told her a single word about anything.

“You know…”, he said after what felt like another five hours of talking, “For the fact that you haven’t had any training whatsoever, your self-restraint is remarkable…as are your powers.”

“Self-restraint comes with being a slave most of your life.”, Varania said and shrugged her delicate shoulders, “Those who speak their minds don’t live long. As for the power you see in me…I don’t know, but I hope to control it and make use of it.”

“You will.”, Finn told her reassuringly and she smiled. Then she stretched and yawned which brought her to a question: “Sorry to trouble you with that but…where should I sleep tonight?”

“The mansion’s big.”, Finn shrugged, “I guess Fenris will give a room to you.”

“That means tidying up before I can sleep.”, Varania joked and Finn joined into her laughter as the door of the now almost empty clinic opened again.


	26. Chapter 26

“Marie!”, Anders called out to her in concern, Finn saw him even drop whatever he had just held in his hands and he had to laugh for a moment.

“Now I know why you said he’s so much into her he wouldn’t even see me…”, Varania drawled with a smile pursing her lips. Finn winked at her and together they got up and also met Hawke and their friends.

“I’m fine, Anders.”, Marie reassured him quickly as she nodded to the elf who had his arm around her shoulders, “But Zevran got hit by a blade, I guess it was poisoned.”

The tanned elf brushed strands of his long blonde hair out of his face and chuckled: “Oh my dear Champion, that blade was surely poisoned. After all it was an Antivan blade, wielded by an Antivan Crow, no?”

Anders knitted his brows as he heard the elf call Marie “his dear Champion” which Finn could totally understand. Yet, his friend helped the elf to a pallet and ordered him: “Lie down, I will have to take you shirt off.”

“Ah, please do, my handsome friend.”, was the elf’s response and Finn snorted with laughter as he joked: “You don’t waste any time, do you?”

„Why should I?“, Zevran retorted with a grin that was silenced by a grunt of pain as Anders peeled him out of his leather tunic a little less gentle than he would otherwise had. Varric laughed and Carver frowned, as usual, before he added: “Can you believe that he has kept doing this since we found him?”

Finn grinned, then he asked: “Speaking of it…where did you find him?”

“In a ferocious battle, I assure you.”, Zevran chimed in, but Anders scolded him, “Keep still. And silent, I have to concentrate.”

Looking to Fenris for an answer, Finn got it: “Hawke was asked to find a dangerous criminal, namely him. But it turned out the one looking for him was a Crow of Antiva himself and it is not wise to lie to Hawke. Everybody knows that.”

Finn nodded and joked: “Besides, the most dangerous thing about him is his cockiness.”

“Oh you are so wrong, my friend.”, Zevran said as Anders stopped the healing spell. Sitting up, he winked at Finn and told him: “You totally forget about my skills as a Crow. And, apart from my cockiness, which is undoubtedly there, I have to admit, there is still my cock as a danger itself.”

At this, Finn had to laugh, but not that much about the comment itself, but more about all the different reactions Zevran earned with it. Marie blushed heavily and yet her eyes met Anders’, Varania rolled her eyes and most surprisingly, Fenris brought himself between his sister and the assassin, a living shield to protect her. His growl was more a threat than even his angry looks, but it only made Zevran grin: “My, my…someone is protective of his love, no?”

“Keep away from my sister.”, Fenris sternly told him and the other elf blinked with a smirk, then he shot a side glance at Carver and joked: „Oh, at first I thought this was a Ferelden thing, but it seems outside Antiva all men are such protective prudes. Alas…”

Finn chuckled for he just could not believe how cocky Zevran was. Isabela had mentioned him, told all of them a few stories, but he had thought she would have exaggerated. Apparently she had not, for Zevran got up smoothly and looked Finn directly in the eye as he asked: “But you, handsome, you laughed at my jokes. I like that. So…”

Before Finn could decline with thanks, Fenris was standing right in front of him. Truth be told, if it was not for this elf, Finn had not wasted a second to accompany the assassin, but now that there was Fenris in his life…he could not imagine being with another man. Strange, maybe a bit unsettling…but at the same time pleasing as heck.

“No.”, was all Fenris said and Zevran chuckled again, “Oh, so you are protective of your friends as well? Heart-warming, but he is a grown man – and quite handsome, I might add – so let him speak his mind, no?”

“No.”, Fenris repeated and Finn saw the tension in his body, ready to fight, “He will not go with you.”

“This is not yours to decide, is it?”, Zevran asked with a grin that told Finn he was now pushing the issue just to piss Fenris off on purpose. And it worked, as his elf sternly said: “Depends. Do you really wish to test that luck of yours?”

Now Zevran’s face lit up with sham realisation as he said: “Oh, now I get it. A pity that you are not willing to share, my friend.”

Finn could almost see the deadly glare Fenris was giving the elf in front of him, but he simply shrugged and told Zevran: “Sorry, pal, but I ain’t gonna share, either.”

“Ah, pity.”, the elf sighed, but winked at Finn which only made Fenris tense up even more, then he addressed Hawke, “Dear Champion, you said Isabela was here? Where do I find this wonderful woman?”

“She’s in the Hanged Man.”, Carver answered on Marie’s behalf who was all red in the face, „You can’t miss her, even if you weren’t looking for her.“

“Alright then, I shall take my leave. Thank you, Champion.”, Zevran said his goodbyes, bowed deeply to Marie and was gone. A surprised chuckle was heard from Varric as he shook his head: “Wow. I gotta go and ask them both about their “adventures”, that will surely make me a book.”

“Or two…or three…”, Carver chimed in sarcastically and the dwarf nodded, “Right Junior, maybe even more. But before I go…when in blazes did that happen?!”

With this question, Varric stared at Fenris and Finn, who grinned broadly and replied: “Last night. And believe me, that story could also fill a book. Or two.”

Varric was dumbstruck, then he shook his head snorting and mumbled: “Will I ever…Broody and a guy…”

Carver seemed as surprised as Varric and replied: “Fenris and anyone!”

For this an angry glance hit him, but the guardsman only shrugged: “What? It’s not like you thought I would ever find someone. And I’m actually happy for you. Although it…seems strange.”

„Carver.“, Marie scolded him and her little brother defended himself: „I’m just saying…but I didn’t mean to offend, alright?“

Finn nodded at him and cheerfully said: “Hey, no offense taken, lad.”

With a harsh nod, Carver turned around and left, which left Finn chuckling as he wondered: “Did that really surprise you all that much?”

“Yes.”, Anders openly replied and took Marie’s hand, “But it’s good to see you happy, my friend. Don’t fuck that up, Fenris.”

The elf did not honour this with an answer, but none of them really expected him to.

“I am sorry to interrupt, but…where should I sleep tonight?”, Varania chimed in shyly. Finn could see the short glance Anders and Marie exchanged that let him know that they would take her in with them in Marie’s estate, but he was glad to hear Fenris state: “The mansion offers enough room.”

She was obviously surprised, as was everyone but Finn who joked: “True enough, but do you have enough food to cook a decent meal? Yesterday I didn’t really check for that.”

He grinned broadly at Fenris who shot him a glance before he said: “You will find enough to sate you.”

“Oh, definitely…”, Finn retorted and then turned to Varania who rolled her eyes.

“You’re no better than Zevran…”, Anders chuckled, let them leave the clinic in silence however. Finn waved goodbye and winked at Varania before he told Fenris: “I knew you were the jealous type, but this…”

The elf shot him a glance that only made Finn smile: “You know, it is nice to be fought over. Kind of.”

Slowly, a smile crept onto Fenris‘ lips. It vanished again soon, but Fenris leaned closer to him and almost silently he whispered words that sent a shiver of anticipation down Finn’s spine: “Wait until we are in our room.”

Without his free decision, Finn’s steps quickened as did his heartbeat.


	27. Chapter 27

Silently, Finn hummed a tune whilst he was chopping some carrots in Fenris’ kitchen. He had been astonished himself that there actually was a kitchen, but even more so that it was tidy. Obviously another room he used at least from time to time. Finn just made a mental note to himself that he would have to ask Fenris about what he was indeed able to cook when he pushed the sliced carrots into the pan. And was suddenly startled by an almost outraged cry: “What are you doing?”

“Cooking?”, Finn shot back at Varania who stood in the door, her hair down now and a more comfortable and less dirty dress around her figure. She snorted at him and grabbed both chopping board and pan from his hands, saying: “No, you’re not cooking, you’re mangling carrots.”

“That’s basically the same if you want to serve dumplings with carrots.”, he retorted in a huff, but Varania shook her head, “No, it’s not. Carrots need sugar to taste good. And nutmeg.”

„Huh?“, Finn asked in surprise, but she was already scurrying through the kitchen, opened every cupboard until she was satisfied and completely took over the preparation of their meal. So he sulked and sat down at the small table, watching her. She did hum a tune as well, also rocked her foot in the rhythm of the song in her head while she was cooking. It was almost too cute to watch, Finn thought with a smile, but he had to admit that the smell alone was better than his cooking had ever tasted.

“Where did you learn that?”, he curiously asked and Varania jumped, “Maker, I almost forgot about you. Sorry. Mother taught me and then I was the cook in the brothel, at least at first. Before they sent me to the first punter, one of the girls showed me how to put potions in a meal, mostly aphrodisiacs…but also poison.”

Finn laughed and went over to her: “Remind me never to mess with you.”

“No problem.”, she replied and smiled at him, poured a little more water to the carrots sizzling in oil and then added sugar. Finn watched how it caramelized and whistled: “Good idea…”

She grinned at him and then they both looked over to the small doorframe as they heard Fenris approach. Finn was delighted to see him only in his normal clothes without any armour, so that meant at least that he was not suspecting Varania to attack him at any moment. But Fenris stopped short amidst his movement right after he had entered the kitchen, his eyes wide and blinking.

“Fenris?”, Varania asked shyly as Finn stormed to his side, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…I guess.”, Fenris drawled and inhaled deeply before he asked, “What are you cooking?”

His sister stared at him in surprise, but then slowly and bitterly she smiled and said: “Glazed carrots. Mother made them for us very often and you…you loved them.”

“You despised them.”, Fenris replied and Varania nodded, “You bet I did. As much as you hated…”

“Tomatoes.”, his elf stated and Finn was dumbstruck, but Varania giggled, “Yes. Do you eat them by now?“

Fenris averted his eyes and said: „Hardly.”

Sitting down, he tore at his hair and then gave Varania a puzzled look, asking of her while she continued cooking: “Did…did I ever throw a tomato at you?”

She laughed and nodded: “Just once at six years old. Mother had your ass for that. Wait, you remember all that? So that bastard lied all the way, you do remember your life before those damn markings.”

“No I don’t.”, Fenris slowly said as Varania took the pan off the fire and asked: “You…don’t? But…”

He shook his head in confusion and Finn felt the same, as did obviously Varania who then suggested: “Let’s eat. It’s easier to think when you’ve eaten.”

So silence ensued as she grabbed some dishes whilst Finn was too paralyzed to do it himself. Instead, he was staring at Fenris who avoided his gaze, almost as if…in shame? Or guilt? For a long time, only the quiet clatter of cutlery was heard, until Fenris frowned and asked of his sister: “Did you have a ragdoll? A…torn thing with a blue dress and yellow hair?”

Finn blinked in astonishment as did Varania who then told him: “She had orange hair, woollen, but yes, I carried that ragdoll around everywhere until our former master took it from me saying I was too old for such childish nonsense. Do you remember your toy?”

His frown deepened and Fenris said: “I…remember something. I know that there was a toy, it was wooden, but…nothing more.“

Varania’s smile was warm as she explained: “There wasn’t much more to it than that. It was a broken spoon Mother would otherwise have burnt in the kitchen. But you claimed it as your sword.”

Finn could not help it, he laughed as the image of a young boy Fenris playing warrior armed with a broken, wooden spoon was just too cute. Varania joined in his laughter and finally, even Fenris chuckled darkly.

“A sword.”, he then mumbled, “I pretended the wooden spoon was a sword.”

“Yeah.”, his sister smiled warmly, “Even more, it was a broadsword, the mightiest blade all of Thedas had ever seen.”

Now even Fenris laughed whilst tears were already streaming down Finn’s cheeks and Varania also giggled before she grew serious again and told her brother: “You used to say that this sword would keep us from harm, that you would always defend Mother and me.”

Their laughter ceased and Fenris took a deep breath to say something: “Varania, I am s…”

“Don’t be.”, she smiled, “Nothing ever turns out the way you plan, but…we found each other and you’re fine. I will be fine too, eventually. When I had some training and…can at least try to get my brother back.”

Fenris tilted his head and Finn knew what that meant. He would not promise anything, but he would try. This would have to do and for Varania, it did obviously, for she said: “Thank you for taking me in and helping me, both of you.”

“Gladly.”, Finn replied, “You’re a wonderful apprentice, honey.”

“Thanks.”, she said and extended her hand for Finn to give her his plate. Finn was about to object, but he wanted to be with Fenris, wanted to be there as his elf seemed lost again. So he just nodded and said: “Thanks for the meal.”

With that, he slightly touched Fenris’ arm and the elf followed him silently as Finn led him to the bedroom, their bedroom.

Without a second thought, Finn locked the door and this got him Fenris’ attention. His head shot up, his eyes were wide, but he quickly shrugged this off again. Yet Finn was beside him within the next moment, took Fenris’ hands in his and asked: “What’s wrong?”

The elf sighed deeply before he answered: “Nothing is actually wrong. It’s just…all the memories are assailing me, they are coming so fast…”

“I can imagine that it’s hard, but it is a good thing, right?”, Finn asked him and Fenris slowly nodded, “Yes, it is. But it is…difficult.”

“I’m here.”, he offered the elf and this made him chuckle darkly as he retorted, „At first, I thought this was exactly the problem.“

Finn blinked at him, but then the memory of how he had woken up this day crept into his mind, the realization that Fenris had been lying away from the wall and…

“You wanted to go.”, Finn whispered and Fenris nodded harshly, but then he shook his head: “No! I…did not know what to do. I did not tell you, but when we… when you made me feel all…this…I saw flashes of my old life. For the blink of an eye, everything was there again but I lost it immediately. I…did not know what to do…”

“And you thought of flight…”, Finn muttered and unconsciously tightened his grip on Fenris’ hands as the elf nodded. He sighed in shock and averted his eyes, but his elf jerked his hands free and gently stroked through Finn’s stubble before he put his fingers onto his cheeks and made him look into his green eyes.

“It was my first thought, yes.”, he admitted and held Finn’s gaze, “But I did not want to leave you, not for a single moment. Not…you.”

Still surprised and trying to understand all that, Finn suddenly did. Fenris had wanted to run, but not from him, only from himself.

“Oh, Fenris…”, he mumbled and was surprised when Fenris stretched a little and kissed his lips. When he parted, Finn was smiling again and said: “I should better hide that key or else you’d escape in the night.”

“No.”, Fenris said and Finn explained, “Relax, it was a joke, I won’t ever lock you up.”

“And I will not leave you.”, Fenris replied in such a sincere and stern tone that all the gnawing doubts Finn had felt for a moment were washed away. Resting his forehead against Fenris’ he admitted: “You scared the shit outta me…”

“I know.”, the elf replied and tangled his hands in Finn’s hair, “But believe me, I was scared as well when I woke up beside you. I am not used to this.”

Finn looked into his eyes, unsure what to say. Apologise? Heck, no!

„Neither am I.“, he then replied and although he tried, Finn could not remove the slight accusation from his voice, „But I enjoyed lying next to you.“

“So did I.”, Fenris assured him with a crooked smile, “At least at the second time this morning. I honestly did.”

Finn exhaled in relief but grumbled half-heartedly with a grin: “Festis bei umo canavarum.”

Fenris chuckled at this and joked, “I do not mean to kill you. Just…a little.”

Finn frowned in confusion, but as he understood the innuendo, he laughed from the bottom of his heart and rested his hands on Fenris’ hips as he said: “Well then, why are we still standing here, fully dressed?”

“Because I have something for you.”, Fenris explained and took a few steps away, to his backpack. Finn watched curiously as the elf bent down which gave him a nice view, and then returned with a glass flask he handed over. His question was in his eyes, obviously, as Fenris chuckled, possessively put one hand on Finn’s backside and told him: “Oil.”

Finn licked his lips in anticipation and smiled at Fenris who seemed a bit embarrassed as he asked the elf: “Where did you get it from?”

“I…”, Fenris mumbled and scratched his head awkwardly, “I asked Isabela for advice.”

“And she gladly elaborated, I guess.”, Finn chuckled which Fenris returned, “Indeed she did. I heard details about her life I never wanted to hear.”

Laughing, Finn put his arms around his elf and asked: “All for me?”

“Yes.”, was the sincere answer he got and it contained so much more, told him that Fenris would do much more and it sent a shiver down Finn’s spine.

“Well then.”, he hoarsely whispered, “Let’s put it to good use.”

Fenris gave no answer, not in words at least, but his hands grabbed strands of Finn’s hair tightly and pulled him in for a hungry kiss he gladly returned. Being pushed over to the bed, Finn succumbed completely for he knew he would enjoy every single moment.


	28. Chapter 28

Finn loved the elf’s hands in his hair, he really liked that feeling and so he grabbed Fenris’ hips, eager to pull him closer despite their feverish kiss did not leave much room between them anyway.

However, his hands were forcefully slapped away and before Finn could find the breath to complain, he was pushed against the wall beside the bed and all wind was knocked out of his lungs.

“What the…?”, he mumbled as Fenris pinned him against this wall and glared at him, the most deadly glare he had seen that day, surely even worse than what Zevran had gotten. And with that thought, realization hit him…Zevran.

“Look, Fenris…”, he began, unsure what he was trying to say, but the elf interrupted him, “I was under the impression that you were tempted by the assassin’s offer.”

Finn nervously licked his lips, scrambled for words in his head and did not find any decent ones, but then he saw the smug smirk on Fenris’ face, an expression only few people with sharp eyesight would spot. He was not really being serious. So, his elf wanted to play and Finn obliged.

“True…”, he drawled and Fenris’ fingers dug into his shoulders which made him wince, “But there’s just one reason I did not even consider accompanying him, not for a single moment. And that’s you.”

Fenris stared at him, the slight raise of his black eyebrows the only evidence of his surprise, yet Finn was now sure that he was not angry at him, at least not anymore. Still he said with a grin: “Oh my, that was cheesy. So, even if I wasn’t unfaithful, not even in my head, I so do need to be punished.”

Now Fenris’ surprise was obvious as one eyebrow went up a little further and he blinked, but then he slowly smirked and whispered: “Indeed.”

That voice…Finn shivered with anticipation as his elf licked his lips and then took the flask of oil from Finn’s hands, saying: “Leave that to me.”

He did not know why, but even after the last night, he was instantly filled with renewed desire and felt is breathing go heavier and his pants growing tighter, uncomfortably so. With a smile, Fenris slid on hand into Finn’s hair, a sensation that made him tremble and that wicked elf knew this.

“Unfair…”, he mumbled, but a dark chuckle was his answer: “Do you think? Then how about this?”

Fenris stepped closer and leaned in, but did not kiss Finn which maddened him because he felt the elf’s warm breath on his neck and his cheek, even on his ear as Fenris stretched a little.

“Still unfair.”, Finn panted, “More unfair. That’s enough punishment, I learnt my lesson, so c’mon…”

Fenris paused, his warm breath still gliding over Finn’s skin and making him crazy with lust, but he remained silent.

“Hmm.”, Fenris hummed thoughtfully and grazed his fingernails over Finn’s scalp, a sensation that made him shiver, “No, I think your punishment is not yet done.”

“Wha…?”, Finn grumbled, but his beginning word was quenched to a lustful hiss as he felt the knuckles of Fenris’ hand stroke his erection through his pants.

Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the wall and bit his lip, but did not bother to hide his moans.

“Hold this.”, Fenris suddenly said and handed the flask of oil back to Finn, so he remarked with a smirk, “I thought you wanted to have it?”

“I do.”, the elf answered with a grin, “But for now…hold it and don’t move unless I tell you to.”

A cheeky comment was dancing on the tip of Finn’s tongue, but he lost it as Fenris wasted no time to make use of his now free hand by covering the bulge in his pants with it. Gliding his fingers over this sensitive spot, Finn could feel the warmth and strength of Fenris’ hand and savoured the feeling.

One hand was still in his hair and the elf pulled him in for a deep kiss that left Finn breathless, so he desperately gasped for air as Fenris’ fingers found their way past the cloth of his trousers. His open mouth was exploited by Fenris’ tongue, the elf’s grip in his hair tightened as it also did around Finn’s flesh.

As the elf pulled away, Finn grumbled in displeasure, but the lustful gaze that he was given compensated the loss of Fenris’ touch for a moment, especially since it told Finn that he would soon feel more. He licked his lips as Fenris pushed the hem of his shirt up a little, just enough to expose Finn’s hips. His fingers stroked over the skin there and it maddened Finn that he was not allowed to do anything, yet he was determined to abide by the request not to move.

Fenris tugged at the shirt and whispered: “Come…”

Right next to the bed Finn was led and there, Fenris put the flask of oil down onto the bedside table, before he turned to face Finn again. Without a word, but an expression in his eyes that sent a hot shiver down Finn’s spine, the elf loosened what little lacing there was on the shirt and then pushed it up Finn’s sides, all the while caressing skin while he took the shirt off.

Then he tangled his hands in the blonde strands again and as Fenris forcefully crashed his lips to Finn’s, he thought that this was no punishment. So, as they parted for air and Fenris stroked over his now bare chest, Finn chuckled: “I thought you wanted to punish me, but I’m rather enjoying this.”

A black eyebrow was slowly raised and so he grinningly sent on: “Not that I want to complain or anything…”

“Of course not.”, Fenris retorted sarcastically and Finn’s grin broadened. But it ended abruptly with a surprised yelp as his pants were tugged down to his knees and a firm push made him stumble back and fall onto the bed. There he sat stunned, but laughed after a moment and Fenris ordered: “Off with the rest.”

“So you want me naked?”, Finn asked with a smile and his elf only stared at him, but the glistening in his eyes was all the answer he needed. Quickly, he kicked off his boots, struggled away the pants, got stuck for a moment but then was finally free…and more than ready.

Yet Fenris stood there and watched him. In silence, without a reaction Finn could see. It was unnerving. Just as he drew a breath to curse – or beg, he was not sure – Fenris slowly opened the fasteners of his tunic, all the while locking his gaze with Finn’s, even as he shrugged he piece of clothing off. Finn was determined to not lose this little staring-contest, but as Fenris’ pants fell, his gaze dropped involuntarily, but also inevitably.

He was astonished and delighted to see the elf naked again and already as excited as he was himself. And a quiet chuckle was heard. What Fenris meant exactly he was not sure, but Finn figured it could be understanding, maybe pleasant anticipation.

Fenris stepped to the edge of the bed and Finn slid his arms around the elf’s waist, kissed his stomach, but to his surprise, Fenris pushed him back. Staring up at him, Finn’s jaw dropped as he heard the stern words: “It told you not to move.”

“You’re fucking kidding me…”, Finn mumbled, but Fenris only replied in a crooked grin and then ordered: “Lie down.”

First he hesitated, just out of surprise, but as Fenris took to flask in his hand, Finn obliged gladly and opened his arms for the elf, but they were idly slapped away and Fenris placed a kiss on his lips. Finn relished the feeling and taste.

It ended far too soon for his liking, but it was thoroughly made up for as Fenris then kissed his neck, nibbled on his ear and looked for sensitive spots with both his hands and his lips and tongue. Groaning with pleasure, Finn wanted to shorten his search and told him: “You know, neck and nipples is never a bad guess, but there’s one region in which you’d be even more successful with that.”

“You are very impatient.”, Fenris chuckled and as Finn shrugged and nodded simultaneously, he added, “Do you mean this particular region?”

With these words, Fenris’ fingers wrapped around Finn’s hardened flesh again and he moaned embarrassingly loudly at that, yelping: “Spot on.”

Not stopping the maddening caresses his hand gave Finn, the elf also picked up at laying out a path with his lips again, so he writhed under Fenris and arched his back as the elf really licked over one of Finn’s nipples, just as he had done with Fenris’ last night.

“Admit it…”, Finn breathed jokingly, “All you want is revenge…”

“Not quite…”, Fenris answered thoughtfully and placed a kiss on Finn’s stomach, “But I want to pay you back, so to speak.”

Finn frowned in thought at these words, not quite believing that he had gathered their meaning. When he did, he gasped, both from the realization and the fact that the tip of Fenris’ tongue touched his shaft.

Just for a moment, but it was more than enough to make Finn tremble and buck his hips. Fenris then withdrew and so he mumbled breathlessly: “Sorry… it’s just…well, you know how that feels.”

He grinned at that referring to how Fenris had lost control the other night, but the elf remained serious as he whispered: “You were right. It is different, merely because it is you.”

Speechless, Finn watched Fenris ponder and his eyes went wide as the elf came to a decision as he now licked the entire length of his shaft.

“Oh my…”, Finn panted and clenched his fists into the sheets so as not to tangle them in Fenris’ hair for he knew that he would not like this, he felt it. So he mustered all his self-restraint to not grab him, not buck his hips and instead merely watch the elf as his tongue and his lips pleasured him. This view, the concentration and determination in Fenris’ features were almost too much to bear and as his hands came to his mouth’s assistance, Finn plopped back onto the bed and covered his face with his hands for a short moment, felt his cheeks glow as he tried to scrap up all the self-control he had somewhere in his magical existence.

In vain, because as a drop of warm oil ran over his thigh, he jerked and tightly grabbed the sheets before anticipation completely took him over. He knew what Fenris was up to and he was eager to feel him there. And although Finn was prepared, the sensation of an oil-covered finger sliding into him elicited a loud moan from his throat.

“Fenris…”, he mumbled incoherently, not knowing what he had actually wanted to say by that, but he was very pleased with the elf’s reaction. For Fenris intensified his caresses of both lips and fingers and Finn could not help it, he bucked his hips and only barely had the wits to warn his elf: “I won’t last lo…”

He stopped abruptly as he lost the feeling of Fenris’ lips around his shaft but jerked as his hand took this place and a few strokes of its finger and thrusts of the other were enough to make Finn arch his back as he felt warm liquid dampen his stomach.

Panting he lay there and met Fenris’ gaze who watched him closely and then spoke quietly: “I wanted to see you when…”

There was more to it, Finn knew that, but he understood why Fenris had not licked him trough his climax as he had done yesterday. Blazes, he had not even expected this much!

“Like what you saw?”, he asked breathlessly with a grin, „I know I do.“

Fenris smiled and leaned down to him for a kiss, whispering: “So do I. And I want to see this again. Now.”

With another kiss Finn only lazily reciprocated, Fenris withdrew his fingers, making Finn moan quietly. But as Fenris’ shaft then entered him, his moan grew far louder.

He was all too ready for this and so Finn pulled his elf close and urged him own by bucking his hips against Fenris’. Hissing, the elf grabbed Finn’s backside, which only excited him even more, but Fenris did so to pin him to the bed and make him wait. But Finn did not want to wait so he moved beneath Fenris.

“Festis bei umo canavarum.“, the elf growled and then began to move, his thrusts forceful and deep, just as Finn wanted them to be. He would be even sorer tomorrow, but he did not care in the slightest.

“Yeah.”, he panted jokingly, “This will be a “Little Death” for both of us.”

He could not speak more words, because Fenris’ movements grew frantic and it did not take them long to both meet their release. As Fenris did, Finn watched him and this was enough to give him his own.

For a long while, they just lay there and Finn put his arms around Fenris’ slender figure, gently stroking through his hair and occasionally kissing him.

He had almost fallen asleep when Fenris suddenly moved and startled him from his slumber. Groaning he complained, but Fenris did not comment on this, instead he got up even though Finn tried to catch him with closed eyes, refusing to open them again when he was so comfortable.

But they shot open as he felt a chilly wetness on his chest and he looked up at Fenris who with a cloth washed away the mess the two of them had made together.

“Thanks…”, Finn mumbled, but it became a half-hearted grumble soon, “Now come to bed.”

Fenris chuckled and pecked him on his lips before he lay down beside Finn. But he did not even notice how Fenris tucked them both in as Finn was already contentedly asleep.


	29. Chapter 29

Finn sighed happily as he woke from a dream he could not remember. But he did not care for the dream, because upon awaking his body reminded him of what he and Fenris had just done and thereby of the fact that his elf was here with him. So why dream if he could have Fenris?

Grinning, Finn stretched a little and groaned from the sore on his backside, but neglected the possibility to cast a healing spell. Instead he opened his eyes to watch Fenris in his sleep…but the elf was not there.

“Huh?”, Finn mumbled sleepily and sat upright in the bed he now was alone in. The sheets were churned up thoroughly by their earlier actions, but there was no sign of Fenris, neither in the bed nor in the bedroom. Frowning, Finn muttered: “Where are you?”

He wanted to go back to sleep, he really did, but suddenly he was afraid that he could lose the elf, that Fenris could have fled eventually. Finn started with a jerk and was almost out of the bed when he saw Fenris’ armour lying on the ground. Relieved, he exhaled because Fenris would never leave without his armour, he knew that much and so Finn tried to calm down again, but his hands were shaking.

“Brave man you are…”, he huffed to himself and shook his head to clear his thoughts, when he suddenly heard voices, faint and indistinct, but unmistakably there. One of them was Fenris’ as he now found, the other, however, he could not recognise.

As the voices fell silent and Finn heard a door close, he did not care any longer, especially not as he heard footsteps approach the door. He knew it was Fenris even before the elf entered the room quietly and looked at him, obviously surprised to find him awake, even though his astonishment was only shown with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

“It’s not fair to leave me alone in your bed.”, Finn teased him and pouted theatrically, his arms crossed over his chest, but he had to try hard not to laugh at the same time. A small smirk appeared on Fenris’ lips as he fully entered the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, and asked: “Are you still complaining about me being unfair?”

“Yep!”, Finn nodded sharply and flashed Fenris a grin, “You punished me quite enough already, I think compensation is needed now.”

Fenris’ smile even broadened and slowly, Finn was getting suspicious. So he got up from the bed, not caring in the slightest that he was stark naked and asked cautiously: “What’s on your mind? You’re scaring me.”

He did not mean that and Fenris knew, nevertheless his elf said: “Forgive me, that was not my intention.”

“I know.”, Finn grumbled and slid his arms around Fenris’ waist, his hands gliding under the tunic as he was fully dressed in contrast to Finn, “Still, I wanna know what you’re thinking.”

Fenris took a deep breath, obviously unsure about what to say, but Finn could not resist the temptation of those slightly parted lips that lured him. Not caring, he simply kissed Fenris and murmured: “On second thought, who cares why you were gone? Just come back to bed.”

“You are insatiable.”, Fenris chuckled and so he laughed, but then added in a murmur, “Only when it comes to you…”

This worked, he could feel how Fenris shivered in his arms and Finn was already looking forward to the next round. Yet the elf pushed him away gently, just as he had started nibbling at the tip of the pointed ear, a very sensitive spot as he had found.

Upon Finn’s addled look, Fenris smiled softly and tangled his hands in the blonde strands when he said: “Are you really sure you have already been punished enough?”

Finn huffed angrily, took a step back and pointed at his crotch, stating: “Look at that boner and tell me delaying the next round wasn’t torture, I dare you.”

Fenris laughed, a dark and wonderful sound Finn instantly fell in love with. Then the elf approached him, gently touched his naked chest and said quietly: “I just thought you might need even more punishment to deserve the reward I arranged for you.”

“Huh?”, Finn breathed very ineloquently which only made Fenris smirk and suddenly, very unexpectedly for Finn, the door to their bedroom opened. In came another elf, tanned and with a broad grin on his lips, joking with a sexy Antivan accent: “Ah, that was my cue, no?”

Zevran. Finn’s jaw dropped and he blinked a few times at Fenris who, as always, kept a perfectly straight poker face.

“I see you are ready for some action, my friend. Good.”, Zevran purred and did not beat around the bush but instead openly gazed at Finn’s naked body. Now he too remembered that he was not wearing anything besides a puzzled look and was obviously turned on, so he quickly grabbed the blanket to cover himself. Even Finn had a sense of shame, albeit he admitted that it was negligibly small.

His hand was stopped half way by Fenris. Blinking in confusion, Finn stared at him, but the only answer to his unspoken question was a small, hardly visible smile.

“He did not tell you yet?”, Zevran chimed in and came closer, so close Finn could smell him, a strange yet interesting mixture of exotic spices, and the assassin smiled at him, from time to time looking at his exposed body.

“Tell me what?”, Finn carked in confusion, his hand still in Fenris’ grip and now Zevran reached for the other. Their touches were vastly different, Fenris’ strong and so bloody stubborn as the whole elf, Zevran’s alluring and yet calculating, but both dangerous in their own ways.

“Your handsome lover here sent for me and here I am!”, Zevran laughed and came still closer so that now he whispered into Finn’s ear: “He changed his mind. Now he is willing to share.”

“No way!”, Finn gasped and stared at Fenris who slowly nodded. “Oh,, it isn’t as easy as you think now.”, Zevran chuckled, “Dear Fenris is willing to share, but only under a certain condition. Should I tell him this one, yes?”

“No.”, Fenris sternly said and pulled Finn in for an embrace so tight he was taken aback by its force as his elf whispered harshly, „You will be the only one to touch me.”

Finn blinked in disbelief and looked at Fenris, then Zevran and again at Fenris who then again slid his fingers in his hair and pulled him down for a kiss so deep and wet and full of lust that Finn’s knees were already getting wobbly. A quiet thud reached his ears, but he did not care. So he almost jumped with a surprised yelp as hands snaked around his waist from behind and touched the throbbing length. He had completely forgotten Zevran who now smirked: “Sorry, my friend, but you two are far too hot together to stand idly by.”

With that, Zevran’s tongue started to draw invisible patterns onto Finn’s back and they slowly descended down to his buttocks. As he felt Zevran’s teeth bite him there lightly, he jerked forward into the assassin’s hands and moaned in ecstasy.

“What…what made you change your mind?”, Finn panted in Fenris’ direction who smirked as he replied, “You. In more ways than one.”

Now Finn was the one to lunge at Fenris and he kissed his elf deeply, took all he could get. Zevran’s hands left his sensitive area and instead grabbed his hips, determinedly turning his body away from Fenris so he had to stretch a little to keep their kiss alive. But he broke it with an unbelieving gasp as he felt Zevran’ lips around his length without any moment of hesitation.

His gaze dropped and he found the assassin naked on his knees in front of him, a view that made him moan and lean back into Fenris’ arms who now kissed his neck and collarbone. Without a sound, his elf went behind Finn and he lost his touch, but was very well compensated for this by Zevran’s skills that brought him to the brink of losing control far more quickly than he had thought.

Clenching his fists, Finn managed to postpone his release, but only barely so. As he felt one of Fenris’ hands between his shoulders, he bent a little bit forward, just as gestured to do, and slid his fingers into Zevran’s blonde hair who hummed in approval. Finn hissed and would have bet that Zevran knew just how good that humming felt around his flesh. But that was quickly forgotten as he felt Fenris’ other hand on his backside, again covered in the oil they had inaugurated that night. And his fingers instantly resumed their activity of thrusting in and made Finn gasp: “You’re gonna kill me…”

Fenris chuckled behind him and pressed his now naked body against his back as he whispered into Finn’s ear, “Only a little.”

Finn had to breathlessly laugh at that and was almost relieved when Zevran’ warm mouth left him and the elven assassin stopped his caresses for a moment. Instead, his hands stroked over Finn’s chest and he asked: “Now, my friend, where would you like to have me?”

“H-have you?”, Finn stuttered and was met by a smirk and glistening golden eyes as Zevran asked purring, “On the bed, on the table? What would you fancy?”

Finn gulped and his mind was blank like…totally blank.

“Table.”, Fenris decided for him and he was glad that his elf did the thinking for him because with all the throbbing in his lust-filled body Finn could not gather or hold one single reasonable thought.

Zevran put a few things aside and then eagerly sat onto the table, legs apart and thereby giving Finn quite the few. The assassin chuckled and reached for him, joking: “Well then, my handsome friend…come.”

That fiendish smirk of his told Finn that he meant that in a rather suggestive way, but all Finn was able to think of by now was sex anyway, especially with Fenris’ fingers still caressing him and his body pressed to Finn’s back.

Now his elf pushed him forward and Zevran leant back, grabbing a hold of Finn’s erect length he then guided between his legs without a moment of hesitation. All Finn could do was gasp in disbelief as he effortlessly glided into Zevran, just as Fenris did into him in the very same moment.

“Oh wow…”, Finn breathed and heard the assassin chuckle under him as he pulled his tanned legs upwards, by this allowing Finn to go even deeper. A forceful thrust of Fenris into his backside made Finn jerk forward and it earned a moan from all three of them. Fenris grabbed his hips tightly and after only a moment of allowing Finn to get adjusted to both his grip and his size, Fenris picked up a rather slow pace that nevertheless did not lack any force; the elf’s thrusts made Finn shiver with delight and were passed down to Zevran who folded his arms under his head and sighed delightfully with every move he met with his own.

Not knowing what to do, Finn surrendered to Fenris’ movements and simply enjoyed being both enclosed by Zevran and filled by his elf behind him. His breath was getting heavier by the moment and out of the urge to do at least something one of his hands stroked over Zevran’s chest, felt the slender and yet muscular body, so different from Fenris’. This hand travelled down until it found what it had been looking for all along and the assassin bucked his hips with more force as he murmured with delight: “Do what you please, my friend, it can only be good.”

Finn could not withstand this invitation, so he let his thumb roll over the tip and earned a low moan as he spread the liquid already gathered there. His other hand covered one of Fenris’ for a moment whose fingers were digging into Finn’s skin, then his hand went up and Finn slid his fingers into Fenris’ silken white hair. Moaning, he turned his head and was met by Fenris’ lips that kissed him, his tongue pushing into Finn’s mouth just as their bodies acted similarly a bit further down.

It was magnificent…and too much to bear any longer. Finn went rigid and moaned loudly and helplessly caught between the two elves. Zevran was the first to follow him into bliss and he felt the warm liquid of the assassin’s climax on his hand just as he also felt Fenris’ release come.

Panting heavily, his weight barely supported by his hands on either side of Zevran’s body, Finn did not know what to do. So as Fenris pulled away and then took his hands, he simply followed his elf as he led him to the bed, pushed him down by kissing him lazily, their tongues in a slow dance they soon had to stop in order to breathe.

All he could do was stare into Fenris’ green eyes still not believing what he had just experienced and his elf smiled slightly, equally pleased. A gentle touch on his shoulder made Finn turn around and he faced Zevran who grinned broadly before he said: “I will take me leave, my friends. But allow me to say that I would really enjoy it if you happen to find an opportunity as this one once again.”

With this, the assassin bowed, already dressed and left their room, silently shutting the door behind him. Finn was still panting as he turned to Fenris and asked: “I still can’t believe it. How…?”

“Room.”, was the only answer, given harshly and totally out of context.

„What?“, Finn asked in confusion, but Fenris did not answer, instead he nudged him and Finn’s eyes shot open. Now he was really awake…and realised that the threesome he had just had had been nothing more than a dream. It was kind of sad, but on the other hand, so he had Fenris still to himself.

With a broad smile he turned to his elf, but he found him annoyed as Fenris said, obviously repeatedly: “Give me more room, Finn, you are throwing me out of my own bed.”

“We can’t have that…”, he mumbled and pulled Fenris close. He felt the elf wince in his embrace, but after the first moment of surprise, his elf melted against him and stretched a little to kiss Finn which he gladly accepted and he also turned the rather innocent kiss into something far more feverish and lustful. As Fenris reciprocated the passion he gave him, Finn’s embrace tightened and one hand travelled down onto Fenris’ backside.

He felt the elf go rigid for a little moment, then he allowed this touch as Finn did nothing more than press him against his body which was clearly aroused. Fenris chuckled darkly and stroked through Finn’s hair as he asked: “Don’t you ever get enough?”

“Of you?”, Finn asked with his eyebrows raised, “No.”

Fenris smiled at him as he said that and held the elf close which allowed him to feel that he was as aroused as Finn was himself. Stroking over Fenris’ backside and simultaneously sliding the fingers of his other hand in his hair, Finn placed a few kisses on the elf’s neck and mumbled: “You know, I just had a dream…and it got me a few ideas.”

“Did it indeed?”, Fenris breathed and pressed against Finn who chuckled, “Yes, it did. Wanna know some of them?”

He would not mention Zevran but maybe a few other things, Fenris being behind him, the table maybe…

Tangling his hands in Finn’s hair as he often did, Fenris replied: “Tell me.”

Finn gave him a crooked smile, parted his legs for him and said: “Later.”


	30. Chapter 30

„Finn, get your ass outta there!”, Anders cursed and he jerked at the annoyance in his friends’ voice, so he hurried to leave the little chamber in the back of the clinic.

“Yeah?”, he asked and Anders shook his head smiling as he mumbled, “What were you thinking that I had to call for you three times?”

“Uhm…”, Finn drawled and tried to think of something to say apart from “a crazy threesome that only happened in my head”, so he said, “Just staring holes into space.”

“In Darktown?”, Varania laughed at him, “C’mon, you’re gonna have to come up with something more convincing.”

Anders nodded and Finn complimented with a grin: “You, my dear, are just too clever for an idiot like me.”

“True.”, Varania and Anders stated in unison and Finn complained, “Hey…”

“Anyways…”, Anders said with a smile, “I’m gonna go and meet Marie as she asked me to. Clinic’s closed for today, so, I don’t know, have some fun!”

“Will do.”, Finn replied and waved his friend goodbye, sighing: “If you’d asked me two weeks ago, I’d have said that nobody could ever make him that cheerful again…but she did.”

Varania replied softly, “I only know her for about ten days, but I guess Hawke could turn quite some lives around. She even had a part in turning mine upside down!”

“For the better, right?”, Finn asked and shot his pupil a side glance. She smiled at him as she often did, leaned against his side, her arms around him and her head on his chest as she said: “Clearly for the better. Much, much better.”

“Good to know.”, he retorted and kissed the top of her head as he simply loved the fact how much she trusted him already. And she was not only his pupil, but also his sister-in-law, at least sort of, and a funny woman so he liked having her around.

“So, what now, honey?”, he asked Varania with a grin, “A few more fireballs before we met your brother dearest in the Hanged Man?”

His elven pupil gave him a doubting, teasing look and then joked: “Only if you promise me not to vanish into one of the rooms with him during our meal.”

For a moment, Finn was speechless, then he rubbed his bearded chin and said: “Well, that’s quite the idea, actually…”

“Don’t you dare!”, Varania complained, nudged his side so that Finn had to laugh as well as she did and she also added, “Those images in my head, argh! It’s really bad enough to hear you two almost every night!”

“You heard us?”, Finn asked before he could stop himself and she nodded harshly, so he had to tease her even further, “If you only heard us “almost every night”, that means we were quite all the other nights!”

She groaned and Finn laughed, so soon she joined in and suggested, unexpectedly: “Can you teach me a healing spell?”

Taken aback, Finn blinked at her and then tried to evade her request: “Why don’t you ask Anders? He’s the healer around here…”

“But you are so…different in many ways.”, Varania said and looked at him out of greenest eyes, so similar to her brother’s, “I just want to learn everything I can to…be…prepared.”

Finn sighed sadly as he saw anxiety return into her eyes and tightly grasped her shoulders as he firmly told her, looking into her eyes: “We will keep you safe. And you are already strong enough to fight for yourself, always have been, otherwise you would not even have come to the mansion that night. Never doubt yourself, honey, you’re braver than you think.”

She smiled softly and hesitatingly, a smile Finn knew all too well from Fenris and what worked with his beloved elf also never failed to charm his sister: “Moreover, how could I refuse a request when you look at me out of those eyes?”

She giggled now at his joke and gently slapped away his hands. So Finn sat down on a pallet, slightly thumped on the place beside him and as Varania sat down, he began to tell her what little he could remember about lessons in healing. In the end of a rather short lecture, he concluded with a groan: “So, you know, it’s all about “feeling” your patient’s needs and pain and all that stupid shit.”

Varania laughed and he had to grin, but nevertheless asked, “What? It’s true!”

“Maybe.”, she replied grinning broadly herself, „But you are so not into healing, am I right?“

“It took you this long to figure that out?”, Finn joked and she chuckled again, saying, “Thank you nonetheless. This was almost as enlightening as hearing Anders talk about Force Magic and fireballs.”

“My fireballs are bigger than his.”, Finn said, matter-of-factly, and Varania gave him a crooked grin as she got up, patted his shoulder and said, “I hate to break it to you, but size isn’t everything.”

“No!”, Finn gasped in sham shock, “You mean all the girls – and boys – telling me about my size were lying to me? Oh no, my whole world is crashing down!”

She snorted and Finn had to laugh with her. For minutes, the two of them were laughing and this was one of the reasons he loved Varania so much, she had the humour her brother lacked, whereas Fenris had strength and fierce determination she was only now discovering. As they sat on the pallet, both panting from their fits of laughter, Finn suggested: “Let’s go meet Fenris.”

“Admit it, you just want to see him again.”, Varania teased and so Finn honestly answered, “Oh, much more than just that!”

She giggled as he locked the door to the clinic and together they left Darktown, suddenly all silent.

“What’s wrong?”, Finn asked and she shot him a surprised glance, obviously he had pulled her out of deep thoughts so he added, “Why so still all of a sudden? What are you brooding over?”

“I’m not Fenris!”, she chuckled but then sighed deeply and repeated, “I’m not Fenris…”

“Honey, you gotta explain that to me, the insensitive guy is lost.”, Finn mumbled. Varania laughed softly as they entered Lowtown and then told him: “You’re not at all insensitive, not like Fenris. It’s just…it is a bit hard to see you two together every day. I’m happy for you, really, I am! But…”

“I know.”, Finn quietly said, “In the Circle, we heard Templars speak about their wives and how much they missed them. None of us knew that feeling, yet we all desired it.”

Varania sighed deeply and clung to his arm, so Finn tousled her hair to annoy her on purpose and as she grumbled, he told her: “Don’t worry, out there’s gotta be a guy for you. Or a girl, who knows?”

“Guy.”, Varania mumbled, „Definitely…“

„Oho…“, Finn teased her, but she shot him a deadly glance so he clutched his hand to his chest in faked pain and asked, “Ouch! Did Fenris let you in on the secret of his death glares?”

She rolled her eyes with laughter and opened the door to the Hanged Man, entering the inn just like a proper citizen of Lowtown would. And she did that although she lived in Hightown.

Finn grinned as he watched her look for Fenris although he had already spotted his elf who now got up to make himself visible to them. Finn could see that he knew very well how visible he now was and saw Fenris tense up, ready to fight if need be.

“There he is!”, Varania cheered and took Finn’s hand to pull him over to the table in the crowded taproom. There was Fenris and next to him Varric who looked up from taking notes in a worn leather-covered book and greeted Varania with a bear-like hug: “Cheery, good to see you. And hey, Torch, what up?”

“Why do you insist on calling me “Cheery”, Varric? I still don’t get it.”, Varania complained even though she smiled and the dwarf stated, “Compared to your brother, you’re always cheery. So, he’s Broody, you’re Cheery. Get it now?”

„It still does not make any sense.“, Fenris chimed in and Varric scoffed, telling him, „You, my friend, just don’t have a sense of humour. At least none worth to speak of.”

Fenris smiled at this, but then raised his gaze to Finn who returned his smile, but did nothing more. It was a shame, but Fenris was not willing to let everyone know what they shared. Yet.

So he simply sat down next to Fenris, not showing anyone anything. But Finn could not completely resist the urge to touch him and therefore took the elf’s hand in his for a moment, all safely hidden under the table. Fenris returned his smile and for the moment, this was all Finn needed. He wanted for more, but he would not get it here, even though Varania’s suggestion to quickly disappear into one of the room came to his mind again. But he cast the thought aside, he would get much more of his elf when they were home in the mansion, safe and sound. Finn really liked the sound of that, home with Fenris.

“Torch, what’s it for you?”, Varric asked him and Varania’s quick nod at the buxom waitress made him say in a hurry, “Uhm, just the stew.”

She arched an eyebrow at that, but nodded and turned away. That was when glances hit him and Finn found himself the target of his three friends’ uncomprehending looks, so he shrugged: “What?”

“You poor bastard…”, Varric laughed whole-heartedly, “You do have it that bad for your broody elf that you actually order their wretched stew? Ouch.”

“I did…? Shit.”, Finn cursed and while Varric and Varania burst out into laughter, Fenris tried hard to bite back a gleeful smile, but he failed and so joined his sister and the dwarf with his dark chuckle.

“Calm down.”, Fenris told him, “We can share my sandwiches.”

Finn gave him a thankful smile and mumbled: “Just another aspect of you I really lo…”

He fell silent in mid-sentence as his mind caught up with his tongue and he realised what he had almost said. His friends and Fenris had gathered it as well, but he did not care, it was too late for that anyway, now he just watched his elf for a reaction. As expected, at first there was nothing. And his reaction continued being flat-out nonexistent until Finn was already shifting in his seat quite miserably.

“Here we go, tuck in!”, said the waitress harshly and thereby interrupted Finn’s gaze locked on Fenris. While she served their plates, he looked at Fenris again, who gave him a crooked and hesitant smile that said so, so much. He did not touch Finn, but from the look in his eyes that was not even necessary to tell him that Fenris felt the same.

“I might even like the stew.”, Finn whispered, “What can be bad now?”

His words were spoken in such a low tone that only Fenris heard them and he saw the elf tense a bit, but then he smiled at Finn and, seemingly innocent, brought his plate with sandwiches between them as he offered: “Together?”

“Definitely.”, was all he said and Varric’s quiet chuckle made him know that the dwarf had gathered their silent conversation, but that was fine with Finn.

So they ate and the silence was soon filled by Varric who endowed them with the newest stories and anecdotes. None of them were true, at least not entirely, but they were entertaining nonetheless. They laughed together and when the waitress came to polish off their table and collect her money, Varric paid and accepted no objection.

As the waitress had gone off gain with a handsome tip, the dwarf grinned at Fenris and told him: “Now, Broody, I guess my gambling debts are compensated for, right?”

Fenris just raised one of his eyebrows as he quietly asked: “By inviting us to a meal my sister suggested? Hardly.”

The dwarf’s eyes narrowed, but Varania giggled, as did Finn when Varric said: “Oh, you’re playing hard to get.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time, trust me.”, Finn joked which earned him a glare from Fenris that soon turned into a smile.

“Fine, if you insist on your debt, you shall have it. But this meal reduced it!”, Varric demanded stubbornly and Fenris tilted his head in a nod, “Very well, my friend, if you say so.”

“I do!”, the dwarf insisted and Finn laughed, but then he saw Isabela in the back of the room gesturing to him to come and see her. This could only be about the bombs in the Chantry he and Anders had built. He was still sold on the idea of setting a sign, but knowing that the day was at hand…set him off. Finn really hoped Isabela would be able to keep her word and get everyone out in time.

“I gotta go speak to Izzy, will be back soon.”, he said and saw Fenris’ eyes narrow in anger…and jealousy. A broad grin spread on Finn’s face as he got up and leaned a little closer to his elf, teasing him: “I will be back sooner if you manage to make a friendlier face.”

At this, Fenris growled lowly and Finn just had to top it off: “Well, if you put it that way…maybe I’ll stay there.”

With a broad grin and the knowledge that he would pay for that, Finn turned around and nodded at Isabela who laughed. No wonder, the girl was smarter than she let on, so he guessed that she had figured what he and Fenris had just spoken. Suddenly, her eyes widened and this was the only warning he got.

A forceful grip at his arm stopped him and Finn was whirled around to face Fenris who glared at him viciously…right before he grabbed strands of his blonde hair and pulled him down for a harsh and longing kiss.

The crowd around them cheered and hooted deafeningly loudly, but Finn would not even have cared if they had called them names. As they parted, they were both panting and Finn joked: “You know, now it’s official.”

“I know.”, Fenris answered, “But I could not care less…as long as you come back.”

“Did you really doubt that?”, he asked his elf who averted his eyes and bit his lip, “You did?!”

“Not…really, but…partly.”, he then admitted and Finn snorted, “You fool. She’s not man enough for me. No one could be.”

With that, he left an astonished and speechless Fenris in the middle of the taproom, grinning broadly as he went on to Isabela. The pirate girl laughed and hugged him closely for a moment whereby she told him: “You are a lucky bastard as well, hunk. Never seen him do anything that impulsive before.”

“What can I say? I bring out the worst in him.”, Finn joked and she sneered, “More the naughtiest in him, innit?”

“True.”, Finn nodded and for a moment, they laughed, but then Isabela grew more serious and told him: “I was with Anders yesterday and everything’s in place, your little “toys” as well as my preparations. Give me the word and you can have all the fun you want with your fireworks.”

For a moment, Finn did not know what to say out of surprise, but then he simply spoke the words that came to mind first: “Thanks. You can’t know how much that means to me.”

“Show me.”, she suggested jokingly, “Give your elf a reason to be that jealous.”

“Tempting offer, but I shall refuse.”, Finn grinned, “I like my life and I’d love to spend it with him.”

“Yeah, c’mon!”, Isabela snorted, “Don’t you get on my nerves with that romantic bollocks! You were a steaming hot guy once and now, look at you! All…monogamous.”

“Loyal, faithful.”, Finn suggested with a chuckle, “Sounds better.”

“All the same.”, Isabela shot back with a grin, “You’re so madly in love that you don’t even care about what you’re missing out on!”

That was also true and Finn found that he did not even think about missing anything…he had Fenris. Across the entire room, their gazes met and Finn smiled at him, a gesture that was slowly returned.

“Thanks again, Izzy.”, he said and his friend laughed, “Yeah, go off and be happy.”

“I will.”, Finn retorted and left her there. His heart was pounding both because of the fact that Anders’ and his plan was taking shape, something big would happen soon, and because he was going to Fenris who had just showed in the open that they were a couple. A freaking couple! He still couldn’t believe it.

So he smiled like a buffoon as he reached their table and without hesitation slung one arm around Fenris. The elf shifted a little uncomfortably, but allowed the touch.

“You two are adorable.”, Merrill squeaked and blinked at them, as Finn blinked at her, but she did it out of admiration, he out of surprise. Fenris groaned and Varania patted Merrill’s back as she said: “It’s not flattering for a fierce warrior to be called “adorable”, but you’re totally right.”

This earned his sister another glare, but she fended it off with a bright smile. Merrill had obviously joined them whilst Finn had talked to Isabela and he loved to see the two girls together. Merrill was far more self-confident than she had been when they had first met, all thanks to Carver, but the friendship she and Varania were developing was to both their benefits, even if Fenris frowned upon it.

Finn could feel the tension in his elf’s shoulders even now as he watched the two girls closely, so he decided to distract him and calm him down a little. Gently, Finn began to caress to sensitive skin in Fenris’ neck and he also retraced the symbols of Lyrium, something that always aroused them both for they both felt the Lyrium react. It was peculiar, but Finn enjoyed it every single time.

Fenris did calm down a bit, a quiet sound came from him almost as a tomcat’s content purr, but then he growled, all wolf again: “Not here.”

“Why not?”, Finn asked and earned himself a disapproving look, but he only shrugged with a grin and continued his caress.

But they all started as the door to the inn was flung open and a young man stumbled in, panting, sweating and trembling from effort and fear. Most conversations fell silent and he only barely managed to breathe out: “There’s…something happening. That bitch Meredith and an elf, they’re fighting.”

“Don’t tell us such bullshit, the old hag hasn’t left the Gallows in years!”, an elder man called to the young one, almost a boy as Finn now saw, but he and all his friends pricked their ears as he defended himself: “It’s true! The Champion’s also there!”

“Now you’re just lying, shut up!”, someone demanded, but Fenris and Finn exchanged a glance and then they all got up and left the inn after the ignored boy, Varric and Merrill right behind them, Isabela in front of them who caught the boy before he was able to wander off. Varania was at Fenris’ side, but as they exited the building, he sternly told her: “Go to the mansion and hide there.”

“What?!”, she hissed, but Fenris gave her a stern look and repeated: “Hide there, Varania. We will come for you once it is save again.”

“No!”, she complained, but Isabela interrupted her, “Listen to him for once. I hate his commanding tone as much as you do, sweetie, but all shit’s gonna break loose if the boy there told me the truth.”

Finn gave her an inquisitive look and Isabela gravely told him: “Orsino and Meredith are having a full-throated discussion and Hawke got into it.”

This was enough to make Finn bolt off, but he stopped him and said: “Anders is with her and he’s not making it any easier.”

“Shit!”, Finn cursed, turned to Varania and said: “Please, honey, go.”

“You said I am able to fight!”, she objected and he groaned, but then argued, “Yes and you are, so fight for your life if we can’t stop this. We will come get you. Now please go.”

Obviously she saw the sincerity in his plea, because she nodded harshly and ran off. Finn breathed, but then followed Isabela who called: “Let’s go!”

They hurried towards the fight between Orsino and Meredith as Fenris suddenly said: “You should go as well, Meredith knows you.”

“I don’t care. If you want to, I’ll stay back for as long as I can, but I won’t abandon Marie and Anders! And you least of all!”, Finn shot back.

With that, their debate was settled and they all stayed together. But nevertheless Finn could not help but feel that this day bode ill.


	31. Chapter 31

And right Finn was to expect ill news, for they found Meredith, that crazy, paranoid bitch, and Orsino, the unfit First Enchanter of the Gallows in the middle of Lowtown. No, he had never liked the two of them.

They were fighting in a heated argument and Marie was obviously trying her best to calm them down, as were Aveline and Carver for this was their duty as City Guards, but Finn could have told them beforehand that they would not be able to succeed, both were too stubborn and too stupid for seeing reason. He really did not like them.

“Stay back.”, Fenris ordered, „Just as you promised you would.“

Despite their situation, Finn flashed him a grin, but kept silent a he heard Orsino’s enraged outcry: “Well then, let’s see the Grand Cleric about that matter! She will be able to tell us whether or not you abused Chantry law in the years past!”

They turned around to the steps that would bring them to Hightown, Marie anxious to stop them, as Anders quietly said: “Elthina cannot help you.”

Finn clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, for he knew what Anders was playing at. Marie obviously did not know exactly, because she looked at him, her eyes wide as she stared at him. But it was Orsino who spoke: “What do you mean?”

“There cannot be a compromise, Orsino, the Circle has failed us all. So…I removed the sham chance of compromise entirely.”

“Shit, no!”, Isabela cursed and charged at Anders and just as she did, Finn’s mind caught up with what that meant…their plan was forfeit.

“Anders!”, he called out to his friend, but he did not turn around and instead, knocked the bottom end of his staff onto the muddy ground before Isabela reached him. Finn felt the wave of magical energy surge through him, as did Merrill and he could also see Fenris wince. For a moment, he thought that maybe the Lyrium in his elf’s skin gave him capabilities unknown so far, but this chain of thought was disrupted as the ground beneath their feet started to shake. Finn knew what was happening, but yet he felt panic rise in his guts. His eyes looked roughly into the direction of the Chantry…and saw a bright spark of violet light flash up into the sky, dragging along myriads of splinters, debris left by the Chantry, now blown to smithereens.

Slowly as if in trance, Marie turned to Anders and whispered hoarsely: “What have you done?”

“What was necessary, my love.”, Anders replied and then he sternly told Meredith and Orsino, “Now you have to act. No hiding behind Chantry laws anymore that have not been executed in the Gallows for years, nor anywhere else. Act.”

The Knight-Commander was trembling with rage and shock and for once, Finn could relate. They were all shocked, even he himself and Isabela who had known what Anders had planned. But obviously he had changed the plan without their consent or even knowledge.

“Have you seen this?”, Meredith shrieked in anger and the shock that made her voice and body tremble, “A mage, a mage murdered Grand Cleric Elthina and many others, the Chantry is always well attended. I hereby enforce the Right of Annulment. Every mage in sight is to be killed.”

“No!”, Orsino cried out helplessly and again, for once Finn felt with them, “You cannot blame the actions of one on all of us!”

“Now I have to.”, Meredith replied and Finn was not able to keep his mouth shut any longer, “Nonsense! You blamed us for everything all along! It didn’t matter what we did in the Gallows, to you we were monsters at birth, even if we only wanted to be free…or to love.”

They were all staring at him now, but Finn did not care. He knew very well that Fenris was not happy with this, but he could not stay silent any moment longer, it was too much, had been for years.

“So…here you wound up.”, Meredith spoke harshly and unsheathed her blade, which made Marie, Varric, Anders and Fenris wince. Why, Finn could not tell exactly, but he felt the energy radiating from the blade and winced himself. Immediately, Fenris was at his side, sword in hand, and his heart raced from the knowledge that his elf was there to defend him if need be. But it was Varric who spoke before Finn could retort anything to Meredith’s surprised statement and the dwarf had sincerity and fright in his words: “Let me tell you, you really should get rid of that sword…”

“So you do all recognise it, do you not?”, Meredith asked lurking and Finn’s eyes narrowed, until he managed to realise it for what it was…Lyrium, pure, strong…and perverted. It felt unnatural and simply…wrong. So this had to be the idol Marie once told him of.

“It will take your life.”, Varric assured her grimly, but the Knight-Commander only gave him a dismissive look and ignored him. She tried the same with Marie as she told her: “I have seen this idol drive a man insane and seen its horrifying effect firsthand. It will kill you!”

Finn had not really an idea what the heck was going on, but the fright in Marie’s voice was everything he needed to know in order to be sure that this Lyrium was far too dangerous for any of them; his ill feeling was only the more evidence for the truth in her words. Meredith, however, ignored this as she had always ignored facts and pointed the sword at Orsino, commanding: “Gather your forces if you want to risk a battle condemned by the Maker Himself. I will not falter and you will fail.”

Orsino trembled with rage and Finn was about to throw a fireball right into that bitch’s face, but Fenris grabbed his arm and stopped him. On the one hand he liked how well his elf knew him by now, on the other Finn was really pissed off. Yet he kept silent and only glared at Meredith as she addressed Marie: “As for the apostate at your side…I will leave him to you to deal with. And I trust you will do the right thing, Champion.”

“Trust me, I will.”, Marie grimly answered and Finn’s heart fell. Meredith turned around and left them, as did Orsino, but Finn was only able to stare at Marie who was looking at Anders. Her face betrayed nothing, she simply stood there and stared.

Finn himself shifted uneasily although that stern look was not on him, but Anders in contrast did not move an inch. Instead, he only returned his love’s look and whispered: “It had to be done. For years, decades, centuries they, the Templars, did to us whatever they pleased. Enough.”

Marie did not say anything, but Finn lost his temper then and there. He slipped from Fenris’ grip and grabbed a tight hold of Anders’ collar, pulling the friend to the tips of his toes as he snarled: “You bloody fool! Why?!”

Isabela was right with him, hissing in anger: “We had a plan, you idiot.”

„I know…“, Anders said, his voice choked, „But it had to be…changed.”

This little bit of hesitation told Finn everything. Anders had never planned to let anyone come out alive, he had only pretended to agree with him. And he did not expect to live through this deed himself.

Appalled and shocked, Finn let go of him, stumbled back and whispered harshly: “No…”

Fenris was at his side and he simply had to cling to the elf, so he took Fenris’ hand although he was sure the elf would not like it. To his surprise, Fenris intertwined their fingers tightly, his angered look on Anders. Isabela punched him hard in the stomach and as Anders bent over, groaning, Marie went to his defence.

“Stop.”, she ordered calmly and stared down at Anders how then straightened up and looked her in the eye, something Finn did not manage. They had betrayed her together, but Anders had betrayed all of them at once. He was angry at his friend, but mostly desperate now and clung to Fenris for support. It may have seemed pathetic, but he did not care in the slightest.

“Opinions.”, Marie said and Finn saw Anders gulp as he looked into her stern face that showed no emotion.

“He has to answer for that!”, Aveline demanded, “You coward! Justice will reach you.”

Anders smiled bitterly and muttered: “Don’t you think that this was the doing of both of us?”

“Then face justice.”, Carver was in line with his Captain and Fenris said quietly, “He deserves death.”

“No!”, Finn said quickly, “No. He…betrayed us all, but…no, Fenris, if you…”

He could not speak the words he was thinking, but Fenris understood them nonetheless. Condemning Anders for his deeds meant condemning Finn along with him. Slowly, he removed his had from the elf’s grip, but Fenris tightened it and whispered: “Your fight is a just one…but the end does not justify all means. And especially not those means.”

“I know, but…”, Finn objected and Merrill shrugged as she innocently chimed in, “He wants the mages of the Gallows free, as do you, Finn, and you, Hawke. Why not let him help?”

“Merrill!”, Carver called to her, but she faced her lover and said calmly, „Had it not been for Hawke and you, I would have ended up in the Gallows long ago…or dead…or both. My race is dying and I cannot help any of them, I am…not strong enough for that.”

Her voice turned into a quiet sob and Carver went to her, pulling her into an embrace as she said that, but Merrill sternly wriggled out of it and said in determination: “So I will try to help the mages for they are also my people…in a way. And I will help my friends, my new clan. Hawke…and you, ma vhenan. Don’t make me choose.”

“I won’t.”, Carver promised, „I couldn’t, but…this was not just!“

“Neither was what happened to the mages and the elves.”, Isabela chimed in with a shrug, shot Anders an angry glance and then addressed Hawke, “He managed to fuck it all up, but he’s right in one thing. They have to act now and so do we, like it or not. I’ll stand by you, sweetie, wherever you go.”

Biting her lip, she added in frustration: “I just hope it isn’t against Blondie, for I took quite the liking to him.”

And then, narrowing her eyes at Anders, she continued: “Still, for that shit you pulled off there, I’d really like to cut off your balls!”

“Varric?”, Marie asked, saying nothing to all the commotion that had just taken place and Finn was anxious, desperate and angry. The dwarf snorted unhappily and then said: “Shit if I know. I’ll follow you, Hawke, wherever you go. But I agree with Rivaini here, I’d really like to kick Blondie’s ass for hurting you.”

She smiled softly for a moment, looked at Finn, which surprised him and then she addressed Anders: “You will make amends best you can. I want the mages free, have always wanted this and what happened here will not stop me or any of us. Come.”

Anders stared at her, wide-eyed, as did Finn, and then her lover mumbled: “You…allow me to live?”

“I want you to fight.”, Marie replied, “You set this into motion, deal with it now. We will fight and see what we can do. Pray to the Maker that it will be enough.”

“Sweetheart…”, Anders began and reached for her, but Marie slapped his hands away and glared at him more intensely than Finn had ever seen Fenris glare at anyone.

“Don’t.”, she whispered and Anders nodded gravely before he said, “I understand. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fight. I thought you would…”

“Kill you?!”, Marie asked and as Anders nodded slowly, she shouted at him, she actually shouted, this calm person, „You fool! What you did will change the face of the world forever, it will cost even more lives than it has claimed already and you expect me to kill you? You?!”

Anders backed away a few steps and Marie whispered, almost inaudibly and sobbing: “I love you… But this I will not forget.”

Finn could see Anders blink a few tears away, but he felt no sympathy at the moment, he simply could not right now. Louder, Marie said: “I will not blame anyone who is not willing to join me in this fight, but I will go. Fight at my side, if you will, as I hope you will.”

With this, she went into the direction of the docks, then turned around and waited for them to decide. Anders was the first to follow her, but he scuffed to her side like a beaten puppy, his head hung and shame in his eyes. Merrill soon was with them and Carver did not leave her side, neither did Isabela and Varric, which made Finn think that the sweet even girl really had gathered a few true friends around her. Aveline snorted and glared at Anders, but she went over to Marie and shook her hand firmly. Finn wanted to go to his best friend he loathed at the moment and his “little sister”, but he knew he could not go without Fenris. So he hesitated and looked his elf into his green eyes, asking him what he was going to do without speaking a word.

Fenris shook his head and Finn’ heart sank at this, it hurt. But he was surprised as Fenris wordlessly went to Hawke’s side and he was the last to follow her, simply because of the fact that he had been too startled to do anything.

They ran to the docks, already encountering mages and Templars fighting to the death around every corner. They did their best to aid, but there was death all around them, blood magic and the stinging sensation of Templar abilities every mage felt amongst them, even if they were directed at another mage.

Marie urged them on and eventually, after long and bloody fights, they captured a boat at the docks and Isabela sarcastically called to them: “All aboard! I’ll get us over to where the real fun will be!”

They scrambled in and Finn just sat there, waiting anxiously as his heart pounded. This moment was what he had been afraid of for years…and now he was also afraid to lose Fenris, either by the sword or by disgusting him simply for being a mage even though he had thought that they had already moved past this stage. Now he was not sure anymore. It was ridiculous, he thought, but still this fear accompanied him. He had never loved before…

“Finn.”, he was called quietly and raised his head he had hung in his fright, just to meet Fenris green eyes as the elf was kneeling in front of him.

“Y-yeah?”, he stuttered and saw the elf smile softly. Irritated, he frowned, but Fenris slid his fingers into Finn’s hair and whispered: “Did you really think I would turn against you?”

Finn gulped, but as there was no accusation in his words, simply an enquiry, he slowly nodded: “I was afraid you’d…”

“You fool.”, Fenris mumbled, leaned his forehead against Finn’s and whispered, his eyes interlocked with his, “How could I? After all you have done for me?”

Not caring for Fenris’ dislike of public displays of affection, Finn pulled him close, buried his face in the elf’s neck and inhaled deeply. That was quite hard with the armour on, but it was worth it. He heard Fenris chuckle and shift awkwardly, so he let him go, now a smile plastered onto Finn’s face again. In Arcanum, his elf said: “Nothing is going to keep me from you.”

Licking his lips, he replied in the same tongue: “Excellent, for I do not wish to leave you.”

Fenris shook his head and, in a fashion that surprised Finn greatly, kissed his forehead.

“That’s not what I’m used to…”, he mumbled a complaint, but Fenris only smiled softly. Nevertheless, Finn now surely had one bloody good reason more to fight with all his might. And he guessed that he would need all the courage he would be able to muster as Marie called: “We’re nearly there. Brace yourselves.”

Finn just hoped that would be sufficient.


	32. Chapter 32

As it turned out, the courage Finn could muster in his heart was not even enough to make him face the Gallows without shivering like a kitten in the cold winter. The mere sight of the sturdy castle made him wince and wish he was anywhere else, preferably in bed with Fenris.

His elf had realised his tension and tightly grabbed his hand as they left the boat and walked up the slope leading to the Gallows, the building he had learnt to hate. And now he entered it on his own, free will.

“I’m an idiot.”, Finn mumbled under his breath and Fenris chuckled darkly before he asked: “It took you 28 years to figure this out?”

“Why 28?”, he asked in irritation that blissfully distracted Finn from his fear and so he turned to his elf who then looked at him enquiringly. This made Finn smile amidst their despicable situation and he asked: “You think I’m only 28 years old?”

“I…thought you could not be much older than me, maybe one year.”, Fenris replied, “Was I wrong?”

“Very much so!”, Finn chuckled and asked further, “So, you’re sweet 27?”

Fenris nodded and told him: “I asked Varania for I did not remember my birthday.”

“And when is it?”, Finn asked curiously, but Fenris insisted: “How old are you?”

Finn flashed his elf a grin and said with delight: “I’m 33.”

Fenris’ eyebrows shot up and Isabela chimed in: “What? You’re fucking kidding me!”

„Ain’t.“, Finn nodded and then addressed Fenris, „I was found on the doorstep of the orphanage of the Chantry in Nordbotten in the Andersfels, sometime during winter. I was raised there and as my magic showed at three years old, the shoved me away to the Circle, the Tower in Lake Calenhad until they shoved me away to the Gallows ten years ago. I spent 30 years in the Circle and only a few weeks out here. With you.”

Finn could see a faint blush creep up on Fenris’ cheeks and to be perfectly honest, he felt his own cheeks heat up as well.

“Day of confessions and revolution, huh?”, he joked and Fenris quietly replied, “Apparently.”

At this he smiled, but his face and heart fell as Finn looked upon the Gallows before them.

“Shit…”, he mumbled, “I so hoped to never see them again.”

“Come.”, his elf told him and together they followed Marie who was already through the front gate, but although his order had been soberly spoken, the tone of his voice told Finn what his elf had really wanted to say, namely a soft “I’m with you.” So, with this reassurance, he walked through the gate and into the court before all the slave statues. They had always depressed Finn, but right now they seemed even darker than ever.

In the courtyard, already waiting, so it seemed, were Meredith and Orsino and a few loyal followers of either side.

“Surprising that they aren’t at each other’s throats already.”, he mumbled angrily and Varric agreed, “I thought that shitty Right of Annulment meant nothing else than crazy Templar killing spree.”

“It doesn’t.”, Anders told him gravely, but Marie snapped over her shoulder, “Not while I’m around!”

“And my men.”, Aveline added and addressed Marie, “We planned for this. Well, not this exactly, but we trained for a state of emergency involving mages and Templars. My men have orders to defend civilians, no matter against whom.”

“Thank you.”, Marie breathed and the redheaded knight only nodded, but Finn was relieved as well. Still, his fury roared up again as he saw Meredith and that bitch had the nerves to stare him in the eye. He had always hated her and right now, he guessed that this feeling was mutual.

“Champion.”, she greeted Marie who only grimaced at this, “As I see you did not serve justice and allowed the murderer to live.”

“You have no idea how well she served Justice by that.”, Finn grumbled before he could stop himself and it brought him glares from many persons, Meredith and Orsino, but also Fenris and Anders, yet, he did not care. The Knight-Commander ignored him and stated: “So you refuse to see the need to act.”

“I do see the need to act quite clearly.”, Marie hissed furiously, “And I will act…on behalf of the mages.”

“Then their fate will be yours, you will join them in death.”, Meredith threatened her, but Marie proudly faced her with her head held high as she stated, “I’d rather join their fate than yours, for it will be the better one, trust me on this. Even if we die, your soul will be consumed by that idol.”

Anger flashed across Meredith’s face and Finn winced for he had never, ever seen her that infuriated.

“We will meet at the battlefield, Champion!”, she said, “Gather your forces, if you will, and hide.”

Marie snorted and turned to Orsino whom she asked as they hurried into the Gallows: “The Templars are superior in numbers, if not in powers, so we need a place we can defend easily. Do you know one in the Gallows?”

“The prison chambers in the cellars.”, Finn told them and as he felt all eyes on him, he shrugged and scoffed, “What?! Did you honestly believe I’d live here for ten years and never make up all sorts of things in my head? I know this damn castle, probably better than you do, Orsino!”

“True.”, the elder elf acknowledged his insight and Finn grimaced, but as they rushed into the cellars, the First Enchanter told him, “I always knew you were different, Finlay. The way how you taught your apprentices was promising right from the start.”

Finn snorted and shifted uncomfortably for he had never really liked Orsino, but now, he had to grant him at least a little respect, for Irving, his own mentor back in Ferelden, had encouraged his style of teaching when no one else had and now Orsino did the same. Quite late he was, but better late than never.

“We should separate.”, Finn suggested, “You know the mages here, as do I, so we can reach more of them if we take different paths.”

Orsino nodded, as did Marie, but she ordered: “Take care, Finn. Fenris, Isabela and Merrill, you go with him, Carver too. We meet in the cellars.”

Off they went into different directions and on their way met other mages, all frightened and desperate.

“Get up!”, Finn ordered them, “We all meet in the cellars, it’s safer there!”

He did not tell them that they were about to fight the Templars for most of them would have run away if they had heard that. Everyone, even the youngest apprentice had gathered it so far anyway. One of them was still alive, a young girl that Finn himself had taught to control her magic.

“Heather.”, he rejoiced to find her alive, “Come here, princess!”

“Finn!”, she cried and jumped into his arms, so Finn hugged the little girl tightly to his chest and told her: “Stay close, I’ll help you.”

She sobbed a few times in his arms, but Finn carried her all the way to the cellars, her little face hid against his shoulder, her green eyes drowned in tears and her blonde hair messed up from running away and hiding.

“Shush, princess.”, he mumbled and stroked over her back, careful to make her hide her face to block her view as the passed empty cellars and an occasional dead body, Templars and mages alike, people they had all known, “We’ll have to thoroughly redecorate before we can celebrate your seventh birthday.”

“I’ll be eight this summer!”, she complained and Finn hugged the girl a little closer saying, “I know.”

In the silence of the cellars, Finn led them into the direction of the prison and shuddered as he did so for there had been many a night he had spent there all alone and almost ready to attempt taking his own life yet again with no Anders around to save him. He almost choked on the thought when suddenly he heard Fenris quietly say beside him: “I never knew you used to be teaching.”

“Oh, I did.”, Finn chuckled and stroked over Heather’s blonde head yet again, “To be frank, those kids were the only thing that got me up in the morning when everything else felt like shit again.”

Fenris gave him a soft, crooked smile full of understanding and Finn now knew that he really, thoroughly understood his despair of captivity in the Circle for his life as a slave had been a cage as well. A different one, but confinement all along.

When they reached the prison, Orsino spotted them and all the mages and allies around them raised their weapons until they recognised them, but still Finn called to them: “It’s just us!”

The First Enchanter came to them and gasped: “Heather! You’re alive. How…?“

„I don’t know…“, the little girl cried quietly and Finn firmly squeezed her little bony shoulder as he addressed Marie, “We need to protect her no matter what.”

She nodded and ordered: “Aveline, Anders, you will take care of little Heather here. Don’t let anyone else near her.”

“I won’t.”, Aveline reassured her and Finn silently mouthed to her, „Thanks.“

The Captain of the Guard gently stroked over Heather’s back, but it was Anders who took her from Finn’s arms and held her close.

“You stay with him, he’s a very good friend of mine.”, he told the girl and she nodded. Finn then looked at Anders and locked their gazes, so he saw the friend gulp and yes, he meant it, Anders was still a friend to him although he was pissed like never before.

“We’ll just have to make the best of it.”, Finn told him and Anders nodded gravely, then withdrew with Heather and Aveline at his side. A quick look told him that Marie was talking to all of them, one after the other and Finn felt himself shivering. This could be goodbye…

“Do not even think of it.”, Fenris sternly growled and Finn’s eyes shot up to him, stared into the deep green right in front of him, “Do not even dare to think this.”

“Fenris…”, he whispered, but the elf tightly grabbed his shoulders and hissed, “No. We will come out of this alive. I agree that it seems a hopeless battle, but it isn’t. There is so much to fight for.”

“I know.”, Finn groaned, sadness in his voice, “That’s exactly what is scaring the living hell outta me.”

Fenris raised an eyebrow, so Finn sighed deeply and told him: “In the Cirlce, friendship is dangerous. You can’t risk having anyone near you because the fear of losing this person would give the Templars too much power. So I never dared to feel more than respect for anyone. Apart from Anders, but he gave me no choice.”

At this, Fenris’ eyes narrowed and Finn had to smile for a moment, so he pulled his elf a tad closer. But despair pressed down on him again and he bitterly whispered: “I’m afraid, Fenris. I never had anyone dear to me and now…I have friends outside the Circle and there’s…you. I…I don’t want to lose you. I can’t bear the thought…”

“Stop.”, Fenris ordered him and tightened his grip so that it was almost painful, but it was not the reason for the tears in his eyes, “Stop, Finn. You will not lose me, not while I have a say in this.”

He gulped in insecurity and looked around only to see that their chances were far too slim. Now Fenris dug his fingers into Finn’s shoulders and made him wince before he demanded: “Look at me.”

He did, but it did not quench his sudden fear, it only made it worse.

“Fenris…”, he whispered again, but the elf shook his head angrily and growled, “Listen. Nothing is going to keep me from you.”

Finn answered with a crooked smile, but was surprised as Fenris pulled him down and kissed him harshly. He went all in, sucked at Finn’s lips, caressed them with his tongue and also bit him lightly. They were both panting as they parted and Finn grinned despite their situation.

“There, that’s better.”, Fenris teased him with a smile and he could only chuckle in disbelief. Marie was beside them, obviously to talk in the last calm minutes before the storm, but Finn did not care. So without asking her permission, he simply pulled her into a hug and found the air pressed from his lungs as she returned it.

“Lovely, you’re choking me.”, he complained and groaned as she let him go, “Sorry, Finn, it’s just…take care, both of you.”

Fenris nodded gravely and said: “Same to you, Hawke.”

“How’s Heather?”, Finn wanted to know and Marie nodded as she reassured him, „She’s with Anders and Aveline. I would put the life of my own child into their hands without a moment of hesitation.”

“Good…”, Finn breathed and fumbled for words to tell Marie how much he had grown fond of her, but just as he thought he had found some, Isabela called alarmingly from the only entrance to the prison: “Get ready, folks! Fun’s about to begin!”

She ran to them and behind her…were more Templars than Finn had ever thought he would see in one spot.


	33. Chapter 33

„Maker’s balls.“, Finn whispered a curse and was paralysed for a moment at the sight of so many Templars, all ready to kill them just because that crazy bitch Meredith had told them to.

“If there’s anyone to kill, it’s Anders.”, Finn mumbled angrily, “But they ain’t gonna get him.”

Fenris beside him readied himself, as did everyone else, but Marie called out to the mindless stampede of Templars: “Stop! Get me Knight-Captain Cullen and we will negotiate! No one else has to die!”

„Forget it, lovely.“, Finn told her as he saw the frantic Templars and Orsino nodded gravely, „This ends today, one way or the other.“

With this, the two mages nodded assent at each other and simultaneously fire flared up around their hands. Finn shot an enquiring look at Marie who sighed and nodded, so Orsino and he released the fire they had conjured. He heard terrible screams from the Templars that were roasted in their full armours. From somewhere behind Finn, a Stone Fist came hurling right into the middle of the troop of armoured knights and knocked them off clean from the entrance to the prison, sending them flying down into the vast depths Finn had never dared to look down into, not even on the one occasion when he himself had been dangling above this abyss in one of the smaller cages some years ago – for as much as hugging a crying girl that had just been taken from her family. Meredith’s orders…

“Phew.”, Merrill breathed, “I never thought…of that use for a Stone Fist before. Blimey.”

Finn had to laugh, but he himself heard that it sounded hysterical.

“Isabela?”, Marie called out and the pirate nodded at her gravely, “There’ll be more, a whole shitload more Templars. I didn’t see more than two troops, but believe me, they’re just taking numbers as who goes first!”

“Maker help us.”, Marie sighed and Anders quickly appeared beside her saying quietly, “The Maker grant us victory, or everything else is meaningless, Sweetheart.”

She looked up to him, sadness in her eyes and Finn was about to roast his friend’s arse when he apologised: “I’m sorry. This doesn’t even begin to cover it, but…if we succeed today, then in ten years, or a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you and there won’t be Templars to tear them apart, there won’t even be a need to fight for their love. This is why I had to do this, why we did this.”

“I know.”, Marie answered, her eyes on the entrance and Anders gasped in shock, “You…you know?”

Finn was as astonished as Anders was, but Marie gave her beloved a soft smile and said:” Yes, I’ve always known, what do you take me for? Now go back to Heather and protect her.”

Anders was dumbstruck and simply followed her order, but Finn told her in a whisper: “He doesn’t deserve you, lovely. I hold him in high regard, even after that, but…you’re too good for any of us.”

She chuckled and answered: “That’s what he said. Do you want to know the answer I gave him?”

Finn gestured her to go on and so Marie told him: “Leave that decision to me.”

Now he smiled at her and Orsino on her other side chimed in: “I may not get the chance to say this again, so please hear me out whilst there is time, Champion. Thank you for the choices you made so far.”

“My name is Marie, you should use it.”, she only retorted and braced herself as Isabela called from the entrance, “Incoming!”

This time, there were even more Templars and Finn gasped: “Oh shit.”

A few spells would not be enough, he clearly saw that and so the mages they had with them did all they could, but as more and more Templars swarmed into the prison, Marie ordered with a yell: “Charge!”

This made it more difficult to cast further spells, but Finn and Orsino concentrated on the newly arriving Templars and burnt them or knocked them off the slope with Force magic, whilst a few others supported the strength of their allies or cast spells that did not endanger them even when they were amidst the Templars they were fighting. Amongst them was Fenris and Finn tried his best to not think of this fact.

He felt Anders work his healing magic, but as more and more Templars stormed into the prison, he also felt their magical power subside for those inexperienced in battle soon fell prey to the abilities and blades of the Templars. In his rage, Finn conjured a fireball fiercer than he ever had in his memory and Orsino joined his magic in, so that a tremendous fireball roared at the Templars and smouldered them in a rush of heat Finn could feel even back where he stood.

“A crushing prison!”, Marie demanded and it was Anders who followed her order suit and enclosed the Lieutenant his love was fighting with his magic. The others made short work of the remaining Templars and as the Lieutenant was the last survivor of this wave, Marie gestured Anders to release her.

“Are you sure?”, he asked, but Marie nodded again and as the weakened Templar fell to her knees, Marie kicked away her blade, tore off her helmet and grabbed her throat. Finn stared at this woman wide-eyed, for he did not recognise the polite Marie he knew as she snarled at the Templar: “Go. Tell Meredith that I will talk to Knight-Captain Cullen or to her, if need be, but this madness has to stop. We will kill anyone who enters the prison, but only in self-defence. We are willing to negotiate. Don’t disappoint me.”

With that, she shoved the Templar away who hurried to get out and Marie turned to them all, saying calmly as Finn knew her: “Now we just have to wait.”

They were all staring at her, even her own brother Carver and so Marie asked: “What is it?”

“You just…surprised us, that’s all.”, Finn replied and she curiously raised an eyebrow, so he elaborated, “You know, going all brute and all.”

“I’m a warrior, what did you think…?”, Marie mumbled, but Finn could see the embarrassed blush on her face quite well.

They had the time to look around for a bit and what Finn saw made his heart sink to the very bottom of the abyss around them. Dead, all the mages of the Gallows, men and women he had known for years were dead.

“No…”, he whispered, not having seen this before in the heat of the fight and Fenris just silently put one hand on his back, but instead of calming him down by this, this touch just startled Finn and he called, “Heather, where’s Heather?!”

“I’m here.”, the girl called and Finn rushed to her and hugged her tightly, the one ray of hope that was left for the Gallows. At least it felt like that to him. His friends were fine, Fenris was not even injured, but the Gallows were irrefutably lost.

“Why do they not just drown us as infants?”, he heard Orsino whisper as the elf looked over all the dead bodies of people they had used to know, “Why give us the illusion of hope if there is none?”

His voice was choked by tears he tried to suppress, but failed horribly.

“There is yet hope.”, Marie implored him and put one hand on his trembling shoulder, but Orsino shrugged it off and whispered angrily, “Where? I cannot see it!”

“Then open your damn eyes!”, Finn scoffed and a glare out of green eyes hit him as the First Enchanter hissed, “All I see are accusations, false accusations. But very well! Meredith wants blood magic? I say we give it to her.“

„No!“, echoed a cry throughout the prison and Heather broke away from Finn to run to Orsino. When she reached him, she hugged his waist tightly, surprising everyone and most of all the First Enchanter himself as she clung to him and sobbed: “No! You conviscated all those books saying they were bad and dealt with blood magic, that you had to get them away, but I know you read them all. You can’t use that now!”

Orsino froze in the hug of the little girl and whispered: “How in Andraste’s name…”

“I saw them in your study…”, Heather replied and took a step back as she pleaded, “Don’t…there are already so many…gone.”

The First Enchanter sighed deeply, knelt down and smiled at the little girl: “How could I now? No, trust me, I will stay with you. And, dear, the word is “confiscate”, alright?”

She only nodded and Finn smiled crookedly as he mumbled: „Will ya look at that. I always knew there was more to her, but this…? I’m impressed.”

“She had a good teacher.”, Fenris remarked and Finn gave him a thankful smile. Orsino got up, Heather still in his grip and resting her arm around his shoulders as he approached Marie who was wary, but he apologised: “Do not fear me, Marie, please. But I have to admit that the girl is right…I read those books and I even allowed a blood mage to live although I knew of his presence. I have to come clear now or there may not be a chance for this.”

Marie narrowed her eyes at this, but Carver gasped in anger: “It was you. You knew of Quentin, that’s why those letters were signed with your initial. You knew that our mother’s murderer was free and a blood mage!”

“Yes.”, Orsino confessed with a heavy heart and Finn could only stare at him before he growled, “You sick bastard.”

“I did not know the extent of his necromancy and madness, please believe me this much, but I knew what he as studying. I can only ask forgiveness and join your friend Anders for we both wronged many, mages and others alike. And most of all you.”

Marie closed her eyes for a moment and then Finn could not believe his ears as she cursed under her breath: “Fuck.”

“Such a word from your mouth?”, Finn called out her and she ignored him. As she opened her eyes, she told Orsino sternly: “Do as you said and join Anders. Help us in this fight and…I will see what I can do for you, for us all.”

The First Enchanter gave her a bitter smile and Finn simply could not believe what he had just learnt. But this was not the time for fights within their own ranks, so this would have to wait.

“Watch out!”, a shriek startled them all and it was Heather who pointed to the entrance as a new troop of Templars arrived…their blades unsheathed and obviously no will to negotiate whatsoever.

Lightning spread from Heather’s tiny little hands and cooked some of the Templars alive and as one of them managed to shoot an arrow bloody well near her, she shrieked again in horror and swept many of them back in a fit of Force magic that released itself from her. Finn had seen her potential early on and back then told Orsino that it would only take the fitting trigger for her powers to wake up. Obviously a troop of Templars whilst Heather was in a state of alarm was enough of a bloody trigger.

But the girl went limp in Orsino’s grip as a Templar focused all his abilities to counter magic on her and the sheer force made her pass out.

“Get her to Anders!”, Marie ordered harshly and threw herself right into the commotion of the fight once again. It took them longer to win the upper hand this time, but the succeeded. As they did they were all panting and exhausted, and still at a loss.

“What now?”, Carver asked his sister and Marie replied in grim determination, “They don’t want to negotiate, fine with me. But then we will fight on my terms, not theirs. We will take the fight to them.”

“Wow, girl.”, Varric laughed out of breath, “It gets never boring around you.”

“Isn’t exactly that why we love her so much?”, Isabela teased and Finn chimed in with a smile, “I can’t speak on your behalf, but I usually just love her calm and polite yet funny humour.”

“You bloody liar.”, Isabela purred and was silenced as Fenris stepped to Finn’s side. Oh, how he loved his jealous elf. Startled by the thought for a moment, Finn shrugged this surprise off as he had known for quite a while now that it was true. But it was not the time to tell, yet.

So he just gave Fenris a longing gaze and knew he understood without need for words.

“Come on, we will face them on an open battlefield.”, Marie ordered, “The mages stay back and Maker’s mercy, take care of Heather. We will all fight with everything that’s in us. For freedom.”

In a mumbled tone, this was repeated a few times and Finn himself whispered these words to find new courage. As they made their way through the Gallows and found even more bodies and more devastation than before, he knew that they had not yet lived through the worst of this night.


	34. Chapter 34

„This…will never be a Circle again.”, Orsino whispered hoarsely and saddened from the amount of death as they made their way out of the Gallows to the courtyard, “So many dead.”

“Damn straight that won’t be a Circle ever again!”, Finn cursed and pressed Heather closer to his chest as the little girl was still unconscious from the blast of Templar abilities that had knocked her out. The First Enchanter looked at him puzzled, but it was Marie who spoke: “The time of the Circle as we know it has long since ended. This, gruesome as it is, it is only the beginning of a long war, trust me.”

“And I started it…”, Anders mumbled appalled, but again Finn hissed, “No, they had it coming. Yeah, you had the idea to blow it all up at once, but you weren’t alone. You aren’t alone.”

His friend tried hard to give Finn a smile, but he failed horribly and there was just pain in his brown eyes. Finn bit his tongue as he saw Anders look to Marie, pure agony flickering in his gaze as he clearly thought he had lost her forever. Of this, however, Finn was not as sure, but he would have a whole load to make up to her…if he ever could. He sighed deeply and met Fenris’ eyes, narrowed and questioning him in silence.

“What is it?”, Finn asked in irritation, but was startled as Marie called to them, “Demon!”

Staying back to protect Heather, Finn anxiously watched his friends compete with the demon and the abominations it called to its aid. Abominations that only hours ago had been men and women he had known for years, some of them he may have even tutored himself…the thought sickened him and he clung to Heather, the one mage they had been able to save.

Merrill froze the Rage demon all over with one single breath of ice and Fenris’ heavy blow shattered it into smithereens. It made Finn think of their first meeting when Fenris had mistrusted him, because now he saw his elf fight alongside mages, fight for mages as if it was natural to him. He loved that idea very much.

As the way was clear again, Marie waited right in front of the gate to the courtyard and panting turned to them: “Friends, I won’t lie to you. I have no idea what is awaiting us out there. Meredith for sure, but I cannot, I dare not guess what she is up to. You all saw her sword and you know that the Lyrium idol it was manufactured from has already driven many insane. All I can do is tell you…”

“We know, lovely.”, Finn chimed in, “We know.”

She smiled softly and then took a deep breath before she said: “Alright. Let’s get out there and fight for our lives. And for freedom.”

With a groan of effort, Marie opened the heavy gate on her own and they all emerged out of the dark Gallows into the courtyard lit by the stars and torches. Finn felt as if he had just left a tomb…but seeing all the Templars that awaited their small group, he mumbled: “Fuck me…out of the frying pan and into the fire.”

Orsino gave him a sad look, but Finn hissed at him: “Don’t dare do even as much as think about going all blood mage on us now!”

“No.”, was the only answer he got and the elder elf stroked through Heather’s blonde hair, “No. If only for her sake.”

“Ah Champion, we meet at long last.”, Meredith greeted Marie with such sneer that Finn cringed and felt his magic awake, flames building up within him.

“Not yet.”, suddenly Fenris whispered to him and was standing right next to him. Finn knew what he meant, that being the first to strike would only make their situation worse, but he resented the fact that again he had to wait for Meredith’s actions.

“I hate that bitch…”, he whispered into Fenris’ direction who smiled grimly before he remarked, “She hates you as well, I reckon.”

This made Finn smile for a moment, but then he followed the angered conversation Marie and Meredith had. He was astonished that his little sister in mind was actually still calm as she said: “Back down, Meredith. The Lyrium of your blade will get the better of you.”

The Knight-Commander scoffed: “This is no use, you are not willing to see. Men, kill the Champion.”

Finn was left to stare in shock and then mumbled to Fenris: “Now? May I kill that bitch now?”

“Wait.”, Fenris ordered harshly, but got ready to fight, as did Marie and all the others while Orsino angrily said: „Stop this madness! You cannot kill the Champion out of a whim!”

“Knight-Commander, you ordered to have Serah Hawke arrested.”, Cullen, the whiny Knight-Captain objected to the orders of his Commander and Finn and Anders both muttered, “No way…”

They exchanged a glance that formed a pact between them saying that no one would get Marie. Then they heard Cullen add: “With all due respect, Knight-Commander, you are no longer fit for the responsibilities of your position. Accordingly, I relieve you from it. Back down.”

„My own Knight-Captain, a victim of blood magic?“, Meredith whispered and Finn snorted, „No, that idiot just opened his eyes for the very first time! Back down!”

This earned Finn annoyed glances, but he did not care in the slightest, he and Cullen had never gotten along all too well, but he had tried to take advantage of the young Templar as Finn had always known that he was not as cold-hearted as others, a fact that made him seem weak although he was the sanest Templar he had ever met…as far as a Templar could be sane at all.

Cullen and Finn exchanged a longer glance and then the Templar turned to his Commander again: “I stood by you when there were rumours that you were past redemption…but now I cannot stand idly by any longer. Back down.”

But Meredith did not back down, in fact, she ordered: “So you are lost as well. Kill him along with the Champion!”

Finn was appalled and could not believe that she had actually said that.

“She’s lost it…”, he whispered and got a smug answer, “Look at her, I could tell immediately.”

Surprised, he looked to the side and found Zevran, of all people Zevran at his side, a smile on his lips and a glitter in his eyes.

“How in…?”, he muttered, but Zevran winked at him and joked, “I figured our beautiful friend Marie would need some professional assassin help sooner or later. And here I am!”

He chuckled brightly and Finn gave him a broad smile: “Just in time. Take her and make sure she’s safe!”

With these words he gave Heather to Zevran, who gently took her into his arms, but she woke up and tried to wriggle out of his grasp, so he gently told her: “Shush, Princess, Zevran is a friend, he’ll keep you save.”

Finn could see that she did not believe him, but she nodded nevertheless and the assassin told her conspiratorially: “Now, my beautiful principessa, you may call me Zev. Have you ever wondered how the courtyard would look from up there?”

As he nodded to the defence wall, she shook her head and Zevran grinned: “Well, you’ll see it now with me. Hold on tight!”

He made Heather hold onto him, took her pickaback and actually climbed up the stone wall next to the gate.

Just in time as Finn sighed and looked back to Meredith who screamed: “I will defend this city even from its Champion and on my own if I have to!”

“Just shut up.”, Finn grumbled as she threatened her own men with her glowing sword and he could feel the power of the Lyrium. Fenris gave him a short glance and Finn told him: “Zevran is Heather’s best chance.”

His elf nodded harshly and thereby confirmed that he had been jealous a bit, which made Finn smile. But this smile froze and fell from his face as he heard Cullen sternly say: “No. You will have to go through me.”

Out of widened eyes he saw the Knight-Captain stand between Meredith and Marie, defending her from his Commander and ordering the Templars: “Men, withdraw.”

And what astonished Finn most of all he had seen today was that the Templars accepted his orders, held them over Meredith’s.

“So they aren’t as blind as I thought.”, he mumbled and kept the fire of his anger alive to release it as soon as Meredith gave him a reason good enough for Fenris. As she attacked Marie, Finn had his reason.

He felt the might of Orsino’s Force blow that hurled Meredith back and simultaneously, his searing fireball, Merrill’s stone fist, Varric’s bolt and another Force blow from Anders hit the damn Templar…but she was still standing.

“By the Blight…”, Finn muttered and found his own irritation resound in all of them. This was not possible.

Fenris charged forward and so did Aveline, Isabela and Carver as well as Cullen who was fighting on their side now. Weird.

Finn did not think that anyone would be able to withstand such an assault and expected Meredith to be dead in three seconds flat…but somehow he doubted his own estimation in this. He could not throw fire amidst his friends to burn Meredith, as much as he wanted to, so he confined himself to his Force magic as did Orsino. Together they tried to crush her, push her down to the ground, but the only managed to slow her down and only a little bit.

“What foul magic is this?”, Orsino cursed and Anders laughed bitterly, “Ironic, isn’t it? She wants to kill us all for as much as being a mage or not hating us…and she’s wielding the most perverted magic I’ve ever seen.”

Merrill shuddered and said: “This feels…wrong. So wrong.”

“I know, Sweetie.”, Finn said and as Fenris managed to knock Meredith over, Finn exploited the opportunity to roast her within her armour.

“A lovely, crisp metal crust.”, he spoke through gritted teeth as he kept his fire alive. When he had to end it so as not to burn his friends as well, he saw with renewed shock in his heart that Meredith was still not hurt in the slightest. On the contrary, she doubled her efforts to chop up his friends and apparently she was determined to take her revenge on Fenris for hitting her.

“Not while I’m around.”, Finn whispered and used his Force magic to keep her away from his beloved elf. This way, Cullen landed a blow at her back that made Meredith scream in utter rage and pain. But instead of dropping dead as Finn had hoped, Meredith leapt out of the skirmish, flew far over their heads and landed on the gallery in the stairs.

“Sweet blood of Andraste.”, he heard Cullen curse, but his words were almost quenched from the clash in whish Meredith landed, an impact that should have crushed her bones from Finn’s reckoning, but she prayed to the Maker instead.

Filled with rage, Finn threw a fireball at her, but it simply dissolved in front of her. He yelled his anger out, but Orsino put one hand on his shoulder to calm him down and said: “Patience, Finlay. Meredith is…a woman you have to figure out before you know how to handle her and can fight her successfully. And even after years she manages to utterly stun you.”

“You know…”, Finn replied with a smug smirk, “I’ve always known you two had a thing going.”

After a moment of surprise, Orsino snorted: “Don’t be absurd!”

“If you say so.”, Finn joked, but his laughter died on his lips as he saw the heavy bronze statues of slaves get into motion.

“Oh c’mon…”, he muttered angrily and immediately they had their hands full. The huge statues were slow, so Zevran had time to jump onto one of them and try to damage it, but he soon gave up and slid down to join them in their fight. A quick glance told Finn that Heather was still on the defence wall, her eyes widened and full of fear, but she was safe. He could not do more for her now, because the smaller and especially the huge statues attacked them and they had a hard time to fend them off.

On top of it there was Meredith and with a battle cry that chilled Finn to the bone she leapt from the gallery back into the fight…directly at Marie. Anders would surely have reacted even faster than he did had he not been fighting a statue together with Merrill and Carver, so Finn focused a brutal blow of Force magic entirely on Meredith and barely managed to knock her out of her path.

As she turned around to see the culprit for her missed blow, he cheekily smiled at her. However, Finn immediately regretted having done so.

He had once had a Force blow hit him in the head, had been beaten up by Templars many a time and had even been buried under a corpse an abomination had just thrown at him, but the unseen blow that now hit him brought Finn to his knees with a groan of pain as fire and agony shot through his body from head to toe. He lost his grasp of direction, had no idea of up and down anymore and thought that his head would explode any moment now. Finn had felt this before, he knew what it was like to have his magical energy drained by the special abilities of a Templar, but never before had it felt this crushingly. And he knew very well what a mana drain felt like.

“Finn.”, he heard someone say urgently, but he had no chance of recognising the familiar voice.

“Finn, get up.”, this voice now ordered and he felt a strong hand grab his arm and pull him to his feet. The pain that rushed through him sickened Finn and he was just about to throw up…when suddenly his magical energy returned.

In disbelief, he opened his eyes and saw Fenris standing in front of him, his Lyrium markings fully aflame.

“You’re…helping me…”, he mumbled and Fenris hissed, “Of course, Finn.”

“No, I mean…the Lyrium.”, he quickly said and for a moment forgot all the fight around them. His elf was also surprised, but recovered more quickly than he did and turned around to rejoin the fight. Finn was about to do the same when an idea hit him.

“Fenris!”, he called and the elf returned to him in alarm, but when he saw that Finn was not harmed, he frowned.

“Do you trust me?”, Finn asked and Fenris’ frown deepened in irritation before he whispered, “Yes.”

“Then give me your hand and activate the Lyrium.”, Finn told him and at first, the elf was reluctant, but then he raised his eyebrows as he apparently got Finn’s drift. He nodded gravely and in the very next moment, Fenris’ markings flared up brightly. Finn grabbed his arm with his right hand, savoured the feeling of Fenris’ warm skin and then took a deep breath to prepare himself.

Looking around to see all the statues Meredith had called to her aid, Finn unleashed his Force magic. He felt Fenris’ Lyrium heat up as he channelled his control over the powers of the Fade through Fenris’ markings and so his Force magic hurled the smaller statues into one corner of the courtyard, drew the greater ones in as well and then a blow pushed them all down to the ground.

Finn felt the stones beneath the statues crumble, but this was not enough, not yet. Mustering up all he found in his powers, he kept alive the Force magic pushing the statues down and conjured fire around them, an inferno that enclosed them, its tongues licking at the bronze and smouldering it.

When Finn ended his conjuration, there was only a gigantic lump of bronze left, glowing in red heat.

His arm hurt a bit where he had touched Fenris and so he quickly turned to his elf who stared at the destroyed statues, just as everyone else did.

“Are you hurt?”, Finn asked, but Fenris only managed to shake his head before he pulled himself together and countered, “Are you hurt?”

“No.”, Finn said somewhat astonished himself as his arm only felt a little too warm now that he was not channelling magic anymore, “Actually…I feel pretty damn well.”

Fenris gave him a small, almost imperceptible smile and then dashed off to the side to throw himself into the fight once more.

“You bloody maniac.”, Anders muttered but Finn shot him a smile, “What, jealous, dear friend?”

As a reply, Anders snorted and Varric laughed whole-heartedly: “You, Torch, are priceless. How do you even come up with that sort of shit?”

Finn chuckled and for a short moment met Merrill’s eyes who gazed in admiration he did not feel he deserved as Orsino told him: “You were always a bit reckless, but very controlled in your pursuit of your ideas, even if they were foolish.”

At this, Finn threw another fireball at Meredith as Zevran and Isabela had dragged her out of the skirmish so that she was standing freely and scoffed at the First Enchanter: “Look at that pile of molten metal and tell me you didn’t like the idea!”

“I did.”, Orsino admitted and for once Finn thought that he could take a liking at the elf. Meredith, on the other hand, apparently did not like his idea this much because as she laid eyes upon the statues, she screamed and shrieked in such a high pitch and such agony that Finn winced.

Cullen took the opportunity and engaged her, but needed Marie’s and Fenris’ help to cope with the Commander’s blows. Finn felt magic, dark and perverted, leak from the Lyrium sword and this feeling intensified as she knocked her opponents back with something that felt like Force magic, only much darker and twisted.

“What is this?”, Orsino asked again but Finn had no answer and so did not bother with finding one. He just threw a fireball at Meredith, however, this one as well dissolved as it made contact with her magical barrier.

“Damn it!”, Finn cursed under his breath as none of them seemed able to reach the Templar now.

“Maker, aid your humble servant!”, she shrieked out of her mind and rammed the sword into the ground beneath her. Finn saw it glow and radiate which could not be any good and unsurprisingly, Orsino called out: “Back! Andraste’s sake, get away!”

They all hurried back and just in the nick of time. The red Lyrium of Meredith’s sword burst into glistening smithereens that were hurled from the Templar.

“Quickly!”, Orsino ordered and Finn just barely got the hint as he saw the elf cast a spell of Force magic and so he joined him in this to contain the shards and drive them away from them…straight to Meredith herself. Finn had no doubt about this to be the right decision and so he put all effort into his spell as did Orsino.

The result was horrifying. Meredith howled in anguish as the shards of glowing Lyrium drilled deep into her skin and seared her from within. The stench of burnt flesh was sickening and Finn withdrew appalled.

“Andraste’s tits…”, he heard Varric gasp and in the very same moment Fenris quietly told Zevran, “Get Heather. We will probably have to leave quickly.”

The assassin nodded quickly, only sincerity in his face and nothing from the seducing buffoon he had showed them up to this moment. He quickly climbed up the defence wall where Heather was already waving at him, shock also in her eyes whilst the Templars that Cullen had ordered to stay back slowly returned to the courtyard. One of them Finn did not recognise ran over to the remains of Meredith’s body and then looked back to her Knight-Captain. As if he had answers…

“What you have seen here is a Templar’s duty gone wrong.”, Marie harshly explained to them and pointed her sword at Meredith’s charred and fuming body, “Once Templars were there to protect mages from the hate and fear of people outside the Circle and to protect the world from the mages. And this is what this duty has become through centuries of abuse.”

One of the Templars unsheathed his blade and was met with two fireballs in a mage’s hand, other displayed magic and a whole lot of already blood-dripping blades. But what was even more important, much more important in this was Cullen’s order: “Stay back. The Champion and her companions will have free passage.”

They were all staring at him and Finn just had to smile as he saw how embarrassing this undivided attention was for Cullen, but he determinedly stood by his word and repeated addressing Marie: “Go, Serah, and I wish you a safe journey wherever you may go. But you cannot stay here and neither can the mage who…set this into motion.”

Anders nodded gravely, but Marie objected: “It was not only him. There are more things amiss in this coming war.”

“I know.”, Cullen replied and bowed as he said, „I can only hope to never oppose you on the battlefield. May we meet again as allies, not enemies.”

Marie nodded with a thankful smile and yet replied: “This is my hope as well, Cullen, but I will not change my allies.”

“I know.”, he retorted with a rueful smile that made Finn wonder what he meant, but he did not ask because Zevran came down from the defence wall and Heather reached for him with her little arms, so Finn gladly picked her up and held her close as he asked her: “We have to go, princess. Will you come with us?“

She only nodded while she hid her face to Finn’s shoulder, but as he turned around to follow Marie, the girl in his arm asked: “Will you also come with us?”

Finn glanced behind him and saw Orsino there who smiled softly, looked at Marie and said: “If I am allowed to come…”

“After this?”, Marie asked in a huff, “Maker, yes, you are most welcome.”

“Thank you, Marie.”, was the First Enchanter’s answer.

“So, this is the end of your carrier as a First Enchanter, huh?”, Finn joked and as Orsino smiled bitterly, he added, “Don’t you ever think of blood magic again. If I catch you dabble in it…”

“Do not worry.”, was the only answer, but the sincerity in those eyes was enough, especially since they were looking at Heather as he spoke.

They all hurried out of the Gallows and to the boat that had brought them over. This now seemed to be ages ago…

Finn sat down with Heather still in his arms, but the girl wriggled out of them and sat beside Orsino.

He smiled for a moment, but yelped as he was pulled to his feet roughly.

“Wha…?”, was all Finn could speak before Fenris’ pulled him close and kissed him deeply, passionately and in front of all. Without thought Finn embraced him and heard Isabela hoot happily.

“Undress!”, the pirate called to them, which made Finn laugh and Fenris had to chuckle as well when Varric complained, “No, Rivaini, I really don’t wanna see this!”

“But I do.”, Isabela insisted and Finn joked, “Admit it, Varric. You’re only afraid you might like what you’d see.”

This made them all laugh and relax a bit until Marie said: “We need a plan.”

Finn nodded, but for the moment he was simply content holding Fenris in his arms, alive and unharmed.


	35. Chapter 35

The closer they got to the docks of Kirkwall, the more anxious they all got; Finn could feel it as it was in the air, practically tangible. Especially Marie looked anxious, almost desperate to his eyes, so Finn slowly parted from Fenris to go to her.

The elf followed his gaze and nodded at him, so he went over to Marie who was standing all alone at the rail, Anders nowhere near. He would have that idiot’s arse for that.

“Hey, lil’ sister.”, Finn greeted Marie and she winced as she turned around, but then gently smiled at him. However, she did not say anything, simply stood there and looked at Kirkwall in front of them, burning, fuming…a grotesque look of chaos.

Silently as Marie was, Finn put one arm around her and stroked over her neck, now exposed as her helmet was lying on the planks to her feet. Again, she jerked, but under his touch relaxed soon, at least a bit, so Finn asked her: “Spit it out.”

Marie blinked at him, so he gave her a crooked smile and said: “I can practically hear the heavy sigh bubbling up in your throat, so let it out.”

This made her chuckle lightly before Marie replied bitterly and on the verge of tears: “I don’t know what to do…”

“Go on.”, he suggested with a shrug, “And kick Anders’ butt for that shit he pulled off.”

Marie looked at him in confusion and mumbled: “I thought you…knew of his plan?”

“I did.”, Finn admitted angrily, “But blowing up the Chantry midday wasn’t in it originally.”

She sighed deeply and Finn teased her: “See, that’s the sigh I spoke of.”

This earned him a small smile, but he also saw tears in her eyes…and Anders’ was not there.

“I will have his bloody ass for that.”, Finn fervently said, “If only for hurting you.”

When he turned around grimly to look for that idiot, Marie’s hand on his wrist stopped him and so he leaned back against the rails and met her eyes. They were welled up with tears and she whispered: “Finn…what am I to do?”

He shuddered as he saw that strong woman, the damn Champion of Kirkwall, in such a weak state. So Finn gently caressed her cheek for a moment and then answered almost as quietly: “What do you want to do? Kirkwall is lost to you, to us all in fact…but…”

Finn stopped, but not because he was at a loss for words, instead, he waited until Marie looked at him before he continued: “That only means you can choose what to do, free of anything to bind you. The hard thing is to decide.”

She nodded thoughtfully whilst she bit her lip and then looked Finn in the eye for a long moment before she quietly asked: “I need a decision, but for this I need an advice.”

Finn chuckled at this and as Marie frowned, he grinned and explained: “Lovely, advice is something you only ask for if you already know the answer…but wish it was a different one.”

Her frown deepened for a moment, but then she looked to the side, blinking in deep thought. Shivering, Marie turned her head to the burning city of Kirkwall and all the while Finn watched her. He could see her fear, despair, the sadness of having to leave…and he also saw the exact moment in which she accepted what she had already known.

“I have to talk to Isabela.”, she then determinedly stated, turned around and left Finn where he was, looking at her back whilst smiling brightly.

“Atta girl.”, he mumbled and then saw Fenris approach him, a puzzled look in his beautiful green eyes. As his elf reached him, Finn took his hand which Fenris did not even withdraw from him and as he raised an eyebrow at this, Fenris smiled contently, squeezed his hand in his and whispered: “No more.”

This made Finn reciprocate the smile as he understood what Fenris meant, no more hesitation, no more barriers. Maker, he loved that thought…

“What did you tell Hawke?”, Fenris asked of him and Finn was torn from his thoughts, so he looked at his elf and then just understood the question, so he replied, “Just an idiotic buzzword, but it got her on track, I think.”

Now it was Fenris’ turn to raise an eyebrow, however, as Finn wanted to elaborate with a grin, Marie’s voice made them listen: “You all heard Knight-Captain Cullen, I cannot stay in Kirkwall. Therefore, I will leave with Isabela for…maybe Antiva, for starters it will be Antiva City. And…everyone who is willing to come with us, is very welcome.”

Finn saw her clench her fists and knew that she was on the edge, that she was afraid to be alone, but determined to leave and make the best of this no matter what, to stick to her decision…whatever that was. So he exchanged a glance with Fenris and asked loud enough for all of them to hear: “I read that Antiva was nice and hot during the summer. And they have good wine. Doesn’t sound too shabby, huh? What do you say, Antiva for us too?”

Fenris gave him a crooked smile and then turned to Marie as he said: “Count us in.”

Finn could practically see the heavy load that was now off Marie’s mind and her head shot to Carver as her brother said: “Of course we are where you are.”

Merrill was at his side and nodded in enthusiasm.

“Ah, shit, this town isn’t what it used to be.”, Varric joked with a broad grin and spread his arms as he continued, “I guess Bianca and I could use a change of scene for once.”

“I don’t know if you want to hear my opinion as well, dearest Champion.”, Zevran grinned and bowed before Marie, “But I can show you my beautiful Antiva. I’m game!”

This made her laugh for a moment before she turned to the First Enchanter and just commenced to speak as Heather squeaked: “You’ll come too, won’t you?”

“Of course I will.”, Orsino answered and stroked over the blonde tufts of hair which made the girl smile brightly. Lastly, Marie turned to Aveline who looked miserable and Isabela called to them: “We’ll be there in a minute, so quickly. And don’t tell me you wanna stay, Big Girl!”

“I…have to.”, Aveline answered and Marie hung her head, but as she looked at the Captain of the Guard again, she was smiling and said, “I know. The guards and Donnic need you, the City needs you, especially in the times to come.”

With this, she went over to her friend and added bitterly: “But I will miss you a lot.”

“So will I, Hawke, Maker help me, so will I.”, Aveline replied sadly.

They shook hands and nodded at each other, then Marie turned around and ordered: “If there is something you need from your homes, go there quickly and grab it, then return to the docks and find the Siren’s Call. At the latest, we will leave in an hour. So…please be there.”

The boat stopped at the Docks and they all quickly departed and split into groups. Marie and Carver went to the estate and therefore had the same way Fenris and Finn had to go and collect Varania.

As they went, they saw the city after the riots that had just shook it and were still shaking it. The condition of Kirkwall was…disastrous. Arson, looting and death was distinctive everywhere and that although most of the shambles had already ended, thanks to the City Guards.

Their group reached Hightown undisturbed and in this rich and fancy district, there too was chaos, destroyed houses, but not a single soul was there and the silence made Finn shiver: “That’s like the silence of a grave…”

Marie sighed deeply and whispered: “I don’t want to know how many died today, either from the hands of mages, guards or Templars…or from the explosion of the Chantry…Maker forgive me, but I really do not want to think of it.”

“Then don’t.”, Finn replied in all earnestness and although Fenris shot him an angry glance for this, he did not take his words back. As they reached the Hawke estate, Marie opened the door and told them: “Take care and see you at the docks.”

“Likewise.”, was Finn’s answer and the two of them hurried on, but despite the fact that they were running, Fenris growled at him: “You do realise that Anders set events into motion that killed many in this city? That his actions have started a war that will kill even more, also those he claims to fight for?”

“Yeah, I do.”, Finn shot back angrily, “But honestly, what else should we mages do? Sit there and wait for the Templars to play nice again? They haven’t done that for centuries and won’t start with it out of a whim, they need a shock. And although this evening has killed many and its aftermath will continue to kill, I really don’t wanna know how many mages have died in custody and aren’t even known of! Just think of that.”

They were heading for a heated argument, but just as they were about to start, they reached the door of Fenris’ mansion. As soon as they were in, Varania shouted: “Go away!”

“Calm down, it’s us!”, Finn laughed and her head shot up from behind the gallery upstairs, then a high-pitched cry was heard and she ran to them. Finn was actually surprised that she did not stumble over her own feet or all the debris in her way and she ran into his arms so forcefully that she almost knocked them both over, that little woman him, a fully-grown Anders…

“You’re fine, you’re here!”, Varania cheered and in her exuberance also hugged Fenris, “Leto, you’re…”

She stopped short immediately as Fenris was stiff as a board and as they parted, they both cleared their throats, looking at the floor in embarrassment in a fashion so similar that Finn just had to chuckle, he really could not help it. Fenris was still embarrassed as he looked at him, as was Varania, but she overcame this more quickly than her brother did and shot Finn an annoyed glance as she asked: “What took you two so long?!”

“Oh well, nothing much.”, Finn shrugged, “Just a blown up Chantry, the Knight-Commander gone crazy and ordering to kill all mages of the Circle – me included – and then gone totally barking mad as she attacked Marie and used some sort of fucked up Lyrium to cast magic. So an ordinary day in Kirkwall, ya know?”

Varania stared at him dumbstruck, mouth agape and eyes wide.

“What?!”, she then shrieked and the mere sound made Finn wince, Fenris as well, but the elf quickly recovered from this and said: “Hurry, Varania, we have to leave town. We have to gather everything important from the mansion and then make our way to the docks.”

She nodded and started off to the side, but then stopped short and mumbled: “I don’t have anything but clothes…”

“Then get food that is non-perishable from the larder.”, Fenris told her and she nodded again and ran off.

Finn accompanied Fenris to the bedroom and whilst the elf gathered a few clothes, books and money, he just stood there and waited. Fenris looked at him enquiringly and so Finn gave him a crooked smile, stroked a strand of his white hair out of his eyes and whispered thoughtfully: “All I need is right here.”

Only as he said these words, he realised their truth…there was nothing else in his life than his friends and the man he had grown to love.

Fenris gave him a soft smile, but Finn shifted uncomfortably and groaned: “I hate the fact that there’s no time to show just how much I need you right now, but we have to hurry.”

This made Fenris chuckle darkly and before Finn knew what happened, his elf had pulled him down, kissed him harshly and then whispered to him: “But there will be time later.”

“I certainly hope so.”, he retorted with a grin and the two of them parted. Fenris took a look around the room and then nodded before he left the room without a word and called to his sister: “Varania, are you ready?”

“Just about!”, came the answer and so they met her in the hall, where she gave a bag to Finn whilst she was carrying another one. As the bag slumped into his grip, Finn groaned under the weight: “Good grief, girl, what’s in there?”

“Just provisions.”, she shrugged and so Finn shouldered the bag to carry it. Varania was kept between them as they left the mansion and Finn did not look back, but instead forward to whatever may be waiting for them in Antiva or elsewhere.

Grinning, he shot Varania a glance and told her: “Oh and by the way, we have the former First Enchanter of the Gallows with us and I have to admit he’s quite the conjurer of fire, so we should totally get him to train you.”

“That sounds good.”, she replied with a smile as they reached Lowtown and hurried for the steps down to the docks. As they ran down those steps, Finn could see one single ship with lit lanterns on deck and so told his companions: “There she is, the Siren’s Call.”

Fenris nodded and guided them through the maze of the docks, so that Finn gasped: “I always get lost if there is more than one turn I don’t know and you run as if you’d own the place. How do you even do that?”

Varania snickered and told him: “He has always known how to get away from fish the fastest.”

Fenris frowned at this, undoubtedly another memory that scratched the back of his head, Finn knew this look by now. But his elf kept silent and as they reached Isabela’s ship, the pirate called to them: “Hurry your asses up the plank, landlubbers, you’re last!”

“Oh, shut up, Izzy!”, Finn joked and she blew him a cheeky kiss from the wheel where she was standing.

“Are we all clear?”, Marie greeted them as soon as they had climbed on deck and Finn looked around before he said, “I guess so.”

He saw all the others around, Orsino and Heather standing together at the rails, Merrill and Carver at the nose whilst Zevran and Varric were discussing something and laughing together not far from the couple. Only Anders was not in sight immediately, but then Finn found him leaning against a wall sulking. Aveline had already left, as it seemed, undoubtedly to protect more civilians.

Marie nodded as she as well had eyed them all up and then called up to Isabela: “All aboard!”

“Men, hoist the sails!”, Isabela ordered and all of a sudden there was commotion Finn had only seen once in his life, when they had shipped him to the Gallows. All the men in her command hurried to do her bidding, climbed into the rigs and shouted further orders. It was chaos, but organised and Finn was again astonished.

Fenris took their bags – all of them – and went below with them, so Finn was standing next to Varania in the middle of the deck.

“You know, girl…”, he drawled, “You could go over there and tell them that you’re a mage as well.”

Saying this, he nodded to Orsino and Heather who were talking quietly, both smiling.

“I…can’t just burst in, can I?”, the elf mumbled, but Finn just laughed, grabbed her small shoulders and pushed her to them. She shot him a deadly glare worthy of her brother’s for this, but he only smiled brightly as Orsino looked at her enquiringly with a friendly smile on his face.

“Yes?”, the elder elf asked and she hesitated a bit, but then cleared her throat and returned the smile as she confidently explained: “I am Varania, Fenris’ sister. I too am a mage, but I never had proper training and although Finn has already taught me some things, he figured I should ask you to train me further.”

Now Finn grimaced as he had not intended this, but Varania shot him a self-satisfied grin and even stuck out her tongue at him.

“Well then, two apprentices instead of one. Welcome, Varania.”, Orsino began and Finn smiled as he now knew the girl had a tutor…but he so did not like the way the old elf looked at her, all too friendly.

Nevertheless he turned around and just saw Fenris come up from below again as he heard Marie whisper harshly: “Look at it!”

His head shot around to her and he found her standing in front of Anders. Without the armour she had taken off by now she looked smaller than ever, but the anger in her blue eyes was so fierce that she also seemed larger than life.

“Look at it.”, she demanded again and Anders winced, pale and staring at his own feet, but now he slowly turned towards Kirkwall that was rapidly getting smaller in the distance. Finn followed his gaze and could still see fire and smoke rising to the night sky.

“Look at it. The city is in flames, in chaos.”, Marie muttered and Anders trembled, was shaking with fear maybe, Finn did not know. They were all silent now, the only sounds came from the wind in their sails as Marie asked with icy calmness in her voice: “Was it worth that?”

Ever so slowly, Anders turned to face her and Finn could see that he was almost sick with worry, his face ashen and lifeless as he whispered: “Was it worth to risk all this, kill so many and destroy the city, for the mere chance to fight for freedom, for a spark of hope?”

He hesitated and looked into her eyes in determination before he sternly said: “Yes.”

Finn groaned silently and Anders hung his head, ready to receive punishment. He knew that look, although not from his friend.

“Good.”, Marie retorted as quietly, but yet Anders‘ head shot up and he stared at her, as everyone else did too, as she said: „Then we will keep that spark alive, we will kindle the flame you struck here tonight and make it a blazing inferno to be seen all over Thedas.”

Anders blinked in confusion, but as Marie did not take her words back, he moaned quietly before lunging down at her and snatching her in a feverish kiss. Finn was so surprised that he actually chuckled at this, still disbelieving that Marie had apparently not only accepted Anders despite all he had fucked up that day, but was also willing to help him still.

Isabela was cheering for them and Finn mumbled: “Well, at least something good came from that stupid plan after all…”

A forceful jerk at his wrist made Finn stumble and almost fall over before he was able to scramble his senses again and gathered that Fenris was pulling him below. He could not help it, a grin spread on his lips as Finn knew what was to come now.

His elf flung a door open and in the dimly lit room, he saw their bags, so this was their room and Finn’s beginning lust was now fully aflame. He headed for the bed and was surprised yet again when Fenris grabbed his shoulders, turned him around and pushed him down to the ground, hard.

Finn fell flatly on his back and hissed in pain as all wind was knocked from his lungs, but he did not protest against this rough handling as Fenris cowered above him immediately and used his weight and his immense strength to push him down whilst he was straddling Finn’s hips. With a smile, he reached for Fenris’ sides, but his hands were slapped away and grabbed tightly, then pinned to the ground as well.

When Finn looked into his elf’s eyes, he knew that he was not filled with desire, but anger, his eyes blazing with fury and the Lyrium markings already glowing faintly.

Finn gulped as he had no idea what was going on, so he simply waited until Fenris spoke. When he did, his words came out in an angered snarl: “You knew of his plan all along.”

“So that’s the way the wind’s blowing…”, Finn mumbled and Fenris growled lowly before he tightened his grip around Finn’s wrist. He could of course throw the elf off with magic, but he renounced that option as it would not do any good. So instead he explained as calmly as he could, but failed because of his own anger: “I found out about it a couple of weeks ago, when it was already half-way done. I changed his original plan so that Isabela would evacuate the Chantry, get everyone out so that only the building would be destroyed, but no one hurt, a merely symbolical act. But Anders made a change of plan without giving us any notice. Izzy didn’t have the time to do anything.”

Fenris narrowed his eyes as if he was trying to decide on whether or not he should believe these words. Now Finn was also angry at him, struggled against his grip and hissed: “I have lived in the damn Circle almost all my life, it’s nothing else than slavery. So don’t you tell me I shouldn’t have helped Anders in this. Someone had to act and as he would, I wanted to make sure he did it in a way that wouldn’t make it even worse for us. Yeah, didn’t work, but if everything stayed the way it is right now, I would not be free, I’d still be in the Gallows, probably dead by now. Do you want this?”

He felt Fenris wince at this, but Finn was pissed and so he added bitterly: “And even if I hadn’t died in the fights, Meredith would’ve had me executed later on, Right of Annulment, remember? But maybe I would not even have lived so long, she was crazy in her last few weeks and made many mages tranquil without any reason. Seeing that she had always hated me, I’d have been one of the first to go tranquil. Do you know what that means, tranquility?”

Silently, Fenris nodded, one harsh nod and suddenly Finn felt tears prick in his eyes as he truly comprehended that he would most likely had died that night – or worse, be tranquil - if it had not been for Anders’ rescue missions, and so he asked Fenris: “Would you want me tranquil?”

The elf stared at him emotionlessly, but did not loosen his grip and Finn could not stand this gaze any longer, so he averted his eyes and fought tears. Damn it…

“No.”, Fenris whispered and let his wrists go before he cupped Finn’s cheeks in his palms and made him look into his eyes again, “No, I want you exactly the way you are.”

This made Finn speechless for a moment and Fenris made good use of it as he leant down and kissed Finn, the caress soft and tender. As their lips parted, Fenris whispered with a dark chuckle: “I want you exactly the way you are, even though I cannot quite believe it myself.”

This made Finn laugh and the tears and the anger, the fear of losing him, vanished as he embraced Fenris. At least he tried to, but his armour was in Finn’s way and so he hoarsely joked: “This armour makes you look like a porcupine”

His elf raised an eyebrow, but then smirked as he understood what he had really wanted to say and straightened up. Holding Finn’s gaze, he took of the gauntlets, set them aside and then slowly opened the breeches of the black armour. Nervously, but while enjoying the view, Finn licked his lips and when Fenris finally had himself peeled out, his elf quickly leaned down to kiss him again.

In between kisses, Finn joked: “As much as I like the fact that your armour protected you time and again, as much do I hate the nasty thing for being this complicated to take off.”

Fenris chuckled and whispered into his ear invitingly: “It is off now. And I want you.”

Now Finn wrapped his arms around him and held him close, one hand sliding into his silken hair and locking him in place. Their kisses grew more and more passionate and wild and Finn was panting heavily as Fenris all of a sudden jumped to his feet.

“What is it?”, he asked in alarm, but Fenris gave him a grin and as he went to his backpack, he ordered, “Stay there.”

“As if.”, Finn snorted and got up as well, tearing his clothes off and throwing them to the side whilst he stumbled over to the bed. As he plopped down on it, completely bare and obviously ready for his elf, Fenris just gave him a curious look and Finn smiled: “C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t like what you’re seeing.”

Now he smiled as well, a crooked grin, as he as well undressed without any false shame. No more barriers.

Finn once again admired what he saw now and his eyes followed to lines of Lyrium that shimmered softly in the light of a flickering candle, but not from their own light, not yet. In Fenris’ hand there was the flask of oil and Finn’s heart pounded in anticipation.

His elf crawled into the bed with him, set the flask aside and kissed him again, lazily at first, but Finn was already filled with desire, he did not want to wait any moment longer, so he pulled Fenris close, sought all the delightful friction he could get. But Fenris determinedly pinned him to the bed beneath him and now straddled Finn’s thighs to restrain him. He groaned and then his hands found Fenris’ hardened flesh to urge him on. The elf returned the favour, so their moans filled the berth they shared.

“Fenris…”, Finn groaned quietly and grabbed the elf’s hands to stop him, “If you wanna do more than just that, you should really get off my thighs and get between them.”

For a long moment Fenris only stared at him, then smiled and gently touched Finn’s cheek as he whispered: “Not this time.”

Finn frowned in incomprehension and then felt something pressed into his hand so he looked at it…and saw the flask of oil. His eyes wide he stared at it, then at Fenris and was no sure whether he had really gotten his drift. Apparently he had, but he still could not really believe it as Fenris leaned down to him and murmured into his ear: “Do it, Finn.”

“Are you sure?”, he asked and gulped, but Fenris calmly kissed his neck and said, “Yes.”

Finn shivered helplessly, but then he set the flask aside and hugged the elf tightly. In return, Fenris continued kissing his neck and Finn slowly, but surely dared to advance to his backside, stroked over the firm buttocks and grasped them which earned a moan from both of them. Carefully one finger found the cleft between them and Fenris immediately tensed and hid his face in the crook of Finn’s neck.

Sliding one hand into Fenris’ hair to soothe him, he tried again and he could feel how the elf tried hard to relax. And he succeeded; he did not shy away from Finn’s touch.

He moaned lightly and then reached for the flask, poured some oil onto his hand and resumed his caress. Fenris stayed calm, but his hands in Finn’s hair tensed as his fingers touched him in such an intimate spot. He kissed the elf’s cheeks as this was the only spot he could reach with his lips and cautiously proceeded, slowly pushing one finger in. Suddenly, the room was lit by Fenris’ Lyrium markings and the elf was trembling, clutching at Finn.

“Forget it.”, Finn said harshly and withdrew his hand, “You’re trembling and glowing. I ain’t gonna put you through this if you don’t want it.”

“Finn…”, Fenris whispered hoarsely, “You thoroughly misinterpreted my reaction.”

He frowned in confusion, but when Fenris straightened up and looked at him, he gasped. Now his eyes were aflame with lust glistening and sparkling in them, as was his Lyrium. Baffled to the point that he could not say a single word, Finn stared at the elf and did not even move as Fenris propped himself up on his knees…and then sank down on him.

“Fenris!”, he hissed lustfully as he was slowly enclosed by him and had to fight his desire so as not to lose control immediately. Now knowing what to do, Finn simply lay there and panted which turned into a drawn-out, loud moan when Fenris had lowered himself onto him completely.

Finn winced from the sweet friction and tightness as his elf now leaned to him for a short kiss, panting as heavily as he did. Their gazes interlocked, Fenris leaned back again and grabbed a hold of Finn’s thighs before finally beginning to move. All Finn could do was stroke over Fenris’ waist and pant as he relished in the trust and passion the elf gave him.

Their rhythm was completely decided by Fenris and he met the elf’s movements breathlessly. They grew more and more frantic and Finn knew that just the final spark was missing for Fenris to find bliss, so he reached out to help him, when his elf suddenly tensed up and found his release just from feeling Finn within him. This knowledge threw him over the edge as well and he arched upwards against Fenris before following him with a loud moan.

His elf slumped against him and Finn breathlessly held him in his arms and did his best to catch his breath again. In vain for quite a long time, but then he kissed Fenris’ neck, tasted the light salty taste of his sweat and grinned: “You know, I didn’t even touch you additionally, this was enough to get you going off.”

As he emphasised this one word, he bucked his hips up to show what he meant exactly and it earned him a moan from both of them. When he had recovered from his trembling of passion, Fenris chuckled darkly and teased Finn: “This is a boost to your ego you will keep rubbing in for ages…”

“Oh yes!”, Finn laughed, but then grew serious and looked at Fenris, who returned his gaze as he asked: “Do you mean that, Fenris? Ages with me?”

His elf smiled brightly at him, leaned forward to peck him on the lips and whispered still at them just one simple word: “Yes.”

He said nothing more, but Finn needed nothing more. As he kissed Fenris again, he hoped for ages with this man and knew their time had just begun.


	36. Fire of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the chapters is more a loosley connected oneshot-collection.  
> But I hope you will enjoy them anyway!

Finn stretched and did not even try to suppress his yawn although it was only midday and the sun was shining directly into his face. He was tired from a long morning of training Varania und Heather, especially because Fenris had not given him much opportunity to sleep in the past few nights. Not that he wanted to complain, he just wondered what his elf would do once they had seen the “amorous wonders of Antiva” Zevran never failed to tout. By now, he had Finn very curious.

“Is my company that boring for you?”, Isabela asked him with an indignant snort and Finn grinned at her as he winked: “You, beautiful, are the dreams of all the lonely nights I ever had…until I met Fenris.”

“Pah!”, she snorted again, “That lucky bastard. Where is he anyway?”

“Dunno…”, Finn shrugged yawning, “Maybe training again, I guess.”

He immediately learnt that it had been a stupid idea to tell her that, because now Isabela prowled over to him while not letting go of the wheel she had under her command whilst she was Captain of the Siren’s Call and steered the ship to Antiva: “Well then, hunk, you could spend a little quality time with me.”

“Nah, thanks.”, he declined and Isabela gave him a blatantly shocked look, “Wow, just…wow. If you resist me, your nights have to be…pretty darn good.”

“Oh, trust me, they are!”, he laughed, but then grew serious, “Honestly, Izzy, a few months ago, I’d happily joined you almost everywhere.”

“Almost everywhere?”, she purred and he laughed before stating, “Well, not even in my wildest days would I have taken a girl right in the middle of a taproom. And believe me, I did some weird stuff.”

“Tell me more.”, she insisted and Finn giggled quietly, “You’re insatiable, you do know that, right?”

“Who cares?”, Izzy said, “The story you told us a few days ago gave Zev some good ideas. I want more of that.”

Now he laughed out loudly and suddenly Zevran asked: “More of me, I hope, Bella.”

“Yeah, yeah, that too.”, she quickly said and urged Finn on.

“Alright.”, he surrendered to her wish, “You do know that I was a foundling, right? So I never knew my birthday, still don’t, but back in Ferelden, two friends simply made me a birthday. Just decided on a day and then that was officially my birthday. And once…I got an exciting gift.”

 

***

 

Studying had never been that boring as it was in that very moment when Finn was sitting in front of a book about anatomy and healing, a field he despised. There were so much more interesting things…fire, Force magic, elements…the snow outside even though he could only watch the flakes circle to the ground from inside the Circle Tower amidst Lake Calenhad.

What made it worse that it was “officially” his very first birthday. Actually, he would be 17 by now, but only last year had Anders and Dahlia decided on a birthday for him and the girl had promised him a special gift for his first birthday.

Finn hated surprised because they made him anxious and nervous and curious. He wanted to know right now!

Suddenly someone grabbed his neck and hugged him tightly before she whispered into his ear: “Happy birthday, Finn!”

“Gosh, are you mad?”, he breathed as he understood that no one else but Dahlia had tackled him in the library. Trying hard to calm down his racing heartbeat, Finn breathed, but his friend pouted and this made him laugh again. Her short fiery red hair was in a mess and stuck from her head like little cheeky flames and her warm brown eyes had the sparks to ignite her hair, but right now, they were glistening more than ever.

“What…?”, Finn asked, but before he could finish his sentence, Dahlia plopped down to sit on his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled brightly at him. Well, so far nothing unusual, apart from the fact that any moment a Templar could spot them.

“Sweetie, this isn’t…”, he began, but one hand covered his mouth to shut him up, the other snaked down his chest and Dahlia smiled as she whispered: “Shush. I promised you a gift, didn’t I?”

As she did not free his mouth, Finn nodded and grumbled a barely audible yes. The grumbling turned into a surprised hiss of breath as her hand reached his crotch and, without any hesitation, stroked over very sensitive parts through his robe. His eyes widened for a moment, but then he smiled. Was she really about to give him this sort of gift?

She nodded, got up and whispered seductively: “Follow me…”

That she really did not have to tell him twice. Finn jumped to his feet, ignored the books he had spread over half the table and hurried after Dahlia, grabbing her hand tightly just to be sure that she was not fooling him. Up and up they went, leaving stairs behind them until they reached a floor filled with dust, but completely empty of any living thing. He knew that it was used for storage and secret encounters such as theirs.

Anticipation made his heartbeat quicken and his underclothes tighten, but he was not about to complain. Dahlia pulled him into a small room and shut the door behind her, leaning her back against the rough wood.

“So…”, Finn murmured and brushed his fingers lightly against her heated cheek, “Wanna tell me what kind of gift this is now?”

“Oh come on.”, she laughed whole-heartedly, “You’re not that dumb, you figured it out by now.”

“I did.”, he grinned and without another word kissed her deeply. Finn did not waste any time, for all the little private time they had, they had to steal, so he wanted to make good use of it. Plunging down at the lips of the much smaller girl in front of him, he pushed his tongue into her mouth and could not help but moan at the sensation. Snatching her up in his arms, Finn even deepened their kiss and Dahlia pulled him to her with both her arms and her legs around his waist.

As they parted for air, Finn kissed her neck and collarbone and she panted: “I’m a bloody idiot.”

He snickered, lightly bit down on her neck and asked: “Yeah? What made you realise this?”

“You arse.”, she giggled and playfully punched him, but moaned as he nibbled at her earlobe and breathed, “Andraste’s ass…why in blazes did I fend you off until now?”

“Because you’re a bloody idiot?”, Finn suggested and they both laughed, but he used this opportunity to allow his fingers to find their way past her robe and found her without any undergarments.

“That’s…convenient.”, Finn deemed this finding as he looked into Dahlia’s lustfully sparkling eyes, “And hot as heck, girl.”

She chuckled and opened the first few buttons on her robe, but then Finn spun them around and laid her down on some crates that were in the room. They were covered with dust, but who cared? Certainly not the two of them, because Finn hurried to open all the buttons on Dahlia’s robe and kissed the pale, freckled skin he revealed, just as she panted and almost ripped his clothes open.

“For turning me down for so long, you’re awfully eager now.”, Finn told her, but Dahlia just snapped, “Oh, shut up you…oh…”

He chuckled as he silenced her rant by licking over one of her perked buds. One hand remained there to caress her breast, while the other finally managed to part her robe and so Finn leaned back to drink in the view.

“Unwrapping this gift was fun.”, he stated and shed away his clothes as Dahlia invitingly said, “Oh, trust me, the real fun is just about to begin.”

“True.”, he smirked, then leaned in and licked over her already wet folds, enjoying both her taste and the little sounds she made, the gasps and moans. As he also pushed one finger in, Dahlia arched her back and panted: “Damn it, I’m a fool.”

This made Finn chuckle and so he sucked a little harder, pushed two fingers in with a little more force and the lustful sounds this elicited from Dahlia almost made him lose control. Almost. So he breathed: “Sod it, this was enough delay, don’t you think?”

“Then what are you waiting for?”, she teased and Finn grumbled before he tightly grabbed her waist and pushed forward, panting and moaning as he was enclosed by heat. As their bodies were flush together, Finn rested his head in the crook of her neck and mumbled: “Wow…”

He had wanted her for years and now as he could have her, he was not able to decide on what to do first. But Dahlia took that decision from him as she bucked her hips and ordered: “Move.”

“Really, should I?”, Finn teased her while looking down at her tender figure under him, just when she called lightning into her hands and threatened: “Yes. Or I’ll make you.”

He grinned and without any warning gave a forceful thrust that made Dahlia moan loudly and erased the lightning. Not giving her or himself any chance to adjust, Finn kept a steady and quick pace and just before he came, he kissed Dahlia again. Panting heavily, he nuzzled into her neck, listened to their heartbeats and then asked: “Wait…you’re not done, right?”

“No.”, she grinned, “So come on, work it up.”

He laughed and said: “Give me a minute.”

Dahlia pushed him so he stood, then sat up, their bodies still joined and teased: “No way.”

Irritated, Finn shook his head, just when she bent forward and attacked his neck with kisses, using her lips, tongue and teeth. His grip on her hips tightened and he heard her chuckle, just before her warm mouth moved to one of his nipples. Dammit, he was way too sensitive there. He squirmed under her touch and Dahlia laughed: “Oh, will ya look at that…”

“You…oh shit.”, Finn cursed as she bit down on his nipple while tightly pinching the other with her fingers. The slight pain was totally worth it and as she sent little bolts of lightning into his skin, Finn groaned and pushed her down onto the crates again, pounding into her with all his desire. A muffled cry of pleasure escaped her that only spurred him on, so Finn’s pace quickened.

But his movements stopped short when suddenly the door creaked open.

He did not know what to do when he heard a familiar voice joke: “Hey, you started without me?”

Surprised to a shock, Finn turned his head to look at Anders who stood there with a wide grin on his face, then locked the door and undressed.

“What on…? Dahlia?”, Finn asked and she laughed breathlessly at his surprised face before she explained: “I invited him to come, but I couldn’t wait any longer. You’re late, Anders!”

“Yeah, maybe.”, the friend agreed, “Mind if I join you?”

“Wait…”, Finn asked, still not able to grasp a conscious thought whilst he was enclosed in Dahlia’s heat and his length throbbing with desire, “You…”

“Oh, don’t be shy.”, Dahlia asked him, “I know that you and Anders really do know each other quite well. Not to say intimately.”

That was true, but still Finn was a bit slow in his head. He even flinched as Anders got behind him even though he had already been there a few times, but he calmed down under the friend’s touch and light kiss onto his shoulder as Anders whispered: “Happy birthday. So tell me, how do you want this?”

Finn stuttered a few sounds out, but could not find words. Dahlia in front of him propped herself up onto her elbows and grinned: “Whatever you do, boys, just get on with it and do it!”

This made Finn smirk mischievously and as she warily looked at him, he laughed. Grabbing her buttocks tightly, Finn lifted her up and turned around while she squealed in surprise, then he sat down on the crates and pulled her to him, so that Anders was now behind her.

“You asked for it.”, he told Dahlia and she chuckled, then turned her head to Anders and said, “Indeed I did.”

“You’re such a minx.”, the friend said, then quickly went back to his robes and Finn figured that he had not come unprepared. As he positioned himself, Finn held Dahlia and kissed her through that first sting, both of them waiting patiently for her to adjust and Finn gently stroked her sides while Anders cupped her breasts from behind her.

Dahlia bit her lip Finn then kissed and he was surprised as she suddenly pushed her tongue to his, then broke away and ordered both of them: “Move.”

“You’re bossy.”, Finn teased, but she did not answer as both of them simultaneously began a first cautious thrust, instead she only moaned louder than before.

Anders and he exchanged a glance, then quickened their paces and both tightened their grip of her, quickly turning Dahlia into a moaning and panting mess. She was fully occupied with all the sensations, nevertheless Finn tried to kiss her again, but she quickly broke away for air, what a shame.

As he looked at Anders again, a tender smile was on the friend’s lips before he leaned in and kissed Finn. A first he was surprised, but then opened his mouth for Anders and as their tongues played, Finn stretched his arms out further until he could press both Anders and Dahlia to him.

The girl between them found her release with a loud groan and Finn broke his kiss with Anders as the two of them quickly followed her. Panting, he joked: “You two are gonna have a hard time finding an even better gift for next year.”

The three of them laughed and Finn surely hoped for more occasions like this one.

 

***

 

Isabela stared at him, blinking, whilst Zevran grinned and then murmured: “A wonderful and enticing story, my friend.”

“No way, you’re shitting me.”, Isabela stated and Finn leaned back, his arms folded behind his head as he asked: “You think? So you don’t believe me that I had a threesome with Anders and Dahlia Amell? Really?”

“No way.”, she repeated, “Absolutely no way. I mean, Zev and I offered her a threesome and she just turned us down ice-cold!”

This made Finn laugh out loudly and tears were streaming down his cheek before he was able to speak again.

“What?”, Isabela asked in a huff, repeatedly, “What’s so funny about this?”

“She just isn’t into girls, you know?”, Finn chuckled, but she snorted, “I still don’t believe you.”

Finn only shrugged and then heard Anders ask, “What is it you don’t believe?”

He was tired from the training as well, Finn could hear it in his strained voice and saw the sweat on Anders’ forehead as he turned around, saying: “Oh, nothing much. I just told Izzy and Zev about our threesome with Dahlia.”

“Ah, that.”, Anders nodded dismissively and Isabela’s jaw dropped, whilst Zevran smirked, “You know, now I am really jealous. The Hero of Ferelden is a fine woman.”

“Indeed she is…wait, what?”, Finn asked in surprise, “Are you telling me that sweet, ridiculous little Dahlia Amell is the Hero of Ferelden?!”

“The one and only.”, Anders affirmed, but Finn blankly murmured, “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Ain’t.”, his friend smirked and then left again, but Finn was only able to stare at him, “I can’t believe it.”

“Well, welcome to the club.”, Isabela teased him, “Rightful punishment for making me jealous.”

Finn snorted, but then Fenris caught his eye. He loved the fact that the elf was relaxed enough by now that he had stopped wearing his full armour every day, so he gladly drank in the view of Fenris in linen shirt and trousers as his beloved elf climbed the stairs up to the wheel. Instantly, Finn had to smile because Fenris was carrying a sleeping Heather in his arms, her blonde head rested against his shoulder. The view warmed his heart and so he walked over to the elf and tenderly kissed him on his lips, which he allowed without any hesitation and returned in an equally loving way. As they parted, Finn mumbled: “You do look good with a kid.”

Fenris chuckled, hugged Heather a bit tighter and confessed: “I…have grown fond of her, I have to admit.”

“Not your fault, one just has to love that little princess.”, Finn explained seriously and again, Fenris smiled, but then asked him: “What were you doing?”

For a moment, he was speechless and heard Isabela laugh behind his back, but then he decided for the truth and stated: “Well, I just told Izzy about a threesome I once had.”

Fenris silently raised an eyebrow, before he lowly asked: “You had…a threesome once?”

At this, Finn laughed whole-heartedly: “Ouch, you hurt my pride and heavily underestimate me! Not just once.”

A frown started to build on the elf’s tanned forehead and Finn could feel how he wanted to withdraw, but he slung his arms around Fenris to hold him in place and wanted to know: “Hey, what’s up?”

“I…”, the elf began, but as he avoided to look at him, Finn knew what he was thinking and so he stated, “No, Fenris, I don’t miss that and I don’t want to have another one ‘cos I’m not willing to share you with anybody, never ever.”

Fenris stared at him wide-eyed and Finn smiled at him before kissing him again and then told him quietly while pulling him close: “All I need is right here…you.”

Never had he gotten a smile as bright and loving as this earned him, so he teased: “Wow, now this is a boost to your ego you will keep rubbing in for ages.”

“Indeed.”, Fenris said in a low tone, his voice raspy and dark before he lightly kissed Finn’s cheek and then hoarsely whispered into his ear, “I could start tonight.”

He knew that he would love that, so he nodded with a smile.


	37. Fire of the Present

A sudden movement next to him violently woke Finn from his deep and cosy slumber. He grunted in disapproval, but when he opened his eyes, he saw by the dim light of their candle Fenris sitting upright in their bed, panting as if he had run from Denerim to the Tower and back again.

“What’s up?”, Finn sleepily asked and winced as Fenris spun around to meet his eyes, fear and pain in the green depths Finn could hardly see in the dim light.

“Fenris?”, he asked again, but all the elf did was smile weakly and tell him, “It is nothing, go back to sleep, Finn.”

“Yeah, of course. Forget it.”, he grumbled and quickly got up from the bed to snatch the jar of water they had to pour Fenris some water and then handed the drink to him while standing right in front of him. Fenris again gave him a weak smile, but drank and so Finn repeated his question: “What’s wrong? And don’t lie to me, I know that you’re shaken to the bone.”

He did not care in the slightest that he was stark naked before Fenris because so was the elf, albeit his crotch was covered by the crumpled up sheet, whilst Finn was standing in front of him, exposed. Still, it was Fenris who shifted uncomfortably and did not dare to look Finn in the eye. This made a dark suspicion rise in him and he sighed deeply before he asked: “That bastard again?”

Whenever Fenris woke from a nightmare so violently that it shook him awake as well, it was usually his former, now dead master’s fault. A magister who had tortured Fenris in so many ways that Finn refused to refer to him in any other fashion than “the bastard”.

“No…”, Fenris whispered and hid his face in his hands, still not willing to meet his eyes, so Finn sat down next to him and soothingly rubbed the elf’s back. It had taken him a while to except such caresses, but now he did and, to Finn’s astonishment, he immediately leaned against him and began himself to stroke over the mage’s skin. Not that he wanted to complain really, but it surprised him and so Finn placed a tender kiss on Fenris’ head before he asked: “C’mon, tell me, what’s bothering you?”

“It is…nothing.”, the elf stubbornly repeated, but not with his usual air of impatience, but instead simply tired, exhausted like a man who had feared for his life and had just gotten away by a hair’s breadth.

“Fenris, after all this time, what makes you think I’d give up that easily?”, Finn joked and it had the desired effect, Fenris chuckle darkly, but then turned his face towards him and kissed his neck as he murmured, “You are not the kind of man to give up easily and I am forever thankful, believe me. Just…”

Finn waited in suspense for what he was about to say, but the elf dropped the subject and muttered: “Come back to sleep.”

“No.”, Finn harshly said and his elf stared at him in bewilderment, “You’re gonna tell me now! I won’t get any sleep tonight when you’re lying next to me all tense and fearful.”

“I am not…”, Fenris insisted, but broke off mid-sentence. At this, Finn gave him a crooked grin and told him: “When you stop your rants amidst a word, it usually means that I’m right. Like…totally right.”

A deadly glare hit him, but he shot it down by grinning broadly and rubbing Fenris’ back. Again he shifted uncomfortably, but then admitted: “I…did have a bad dream, you were right. But it was not Danarius whom I saw.”

Finn gritted his teeth at that bastard’s name and was glad to have been present when Fenris had finally killed the magister. However, he had no idea what on earth could have given his elf such a fright if not him, so he looked at him intently, but did not speak a word for once.

“I saw…”, Fenris slowly began to reveal his nightmare, but he shifted all the while and did not look into Finn’s direction at all, “I…saw us and we met two girls you once…had a fling with.”

Finn sighed, but then joked: “Were they hot?”

“Finn!”, the elf growled and he flashed him a grin, “Relax, just teasing you. What would I want with two wenches anyway, when…oh.”

Finn stopped dead in his sentence when a realisation hit him.

“That’s what you thought, huh?”, he mumbled and the pink that dusted Fenris’ cheeks spoke volumes, “You dreamt that I was leaving you for two girls I once had a fling with?”

“I…”, the elf began, but did not finish his sentence, instead, he snorted indignantly and looked away.

“Don’t deny it.”, Finn ordered, although he smiled tenderly, “My past is bothering you, isn’t it? I’m sorry, Fenris, but I can’t change it. I am who I am and…I did a lot of stupid things, but you are much more important than any of those little adventures. When will you ever believe me?”

Fenris turned to look at him and Finn’s heart skipped a beat when he looked into his eyes, so full of strength, yet still showing the kind an vulnerable heart beneath.

“Darn your puppy-eyes.”, he whispered and then lunged forward, grabbing the elf’s white hair to pull him into a heated kiss. Finn wasted no time before his tongue darted out and met Fenris’ who on his part did not waste a second either. Finn smirked and allowed his hand to roam over Fenris’ chest, following the path of his Lyrium markings until he reached the delicate area between his thighs. But before he could caress him there, Fenris snatched his hand in a tight grip and shoved him away so harshly that Finn tumbled off the bed.

“Ouch!”, he cursed and got up, rubbing his backside that he had hit hard on the planks, but Fenris darted out of the bed and grabbed his shoulders, pushed him back against the wall so that Finn stumbled along, almost falling again.

“What on…?”, he muttered, but was silenced when the elf’s strength that shoved him against the wall knocked all the wind from his lungs.

“Tell me.”, Fenris growled and stared into his eyes with fury. Finn was so taken aback, he just spurted out: “Tell you what?”

 

“Who it was you…”, the elf began, but stopped again and Finn, slowly getting his drift, muttered dryly, “Fenris, I hate to break that to ya, but I can’t possibly tell you of all the people I have slept with. Because I don’t remember them all. Some of them I didn’t even know before we got down on each other!”

Fenris tensed visibly, slightly, but visibly and Finn saw the doubt in his eyes. He wanted to know, wanted to be sure of him, this Finn understood, but he could not give him what he asked for, nevertheless he tried to: “Look…most of them were other mages in the Tower or in the Gallows. Although much fewer there. And during the brief episodes I was outta there, I didn’t have that much time to do anything but flee. Once I was robbed, once I drank far too much and slept with a waitress before she sold me out to the Templars. There are only two people that still mean something to me, but they do not mean as much as you do.”

“Who?”, Fenris stubbornly asked, but Finn sighed and retorted, “Does it matter? They aren’t you and…”

“Who?”, Fenris insisted and his grip on Finn’s shoulders tightened, so it verged to pain and also despair.

“Dahlia.”, he sighed in defeat and never left Fenris’ eyes, “Dahlia Amell who is the Hero of Ferelden, and as Anders told me, happily married to another Grey Warden, a former Templar, mind you, and…I guess you’ll wish you never asked as soon as you know it. It’s Anders.”

He instantly knew that he had been right. Fenris winced as if sharp pain had hit him and took a step back, but now it was Finn who grabbed a hold of him and spun them around.

“Oh no!”, he growled, “You’re not gonna crawl away and hide.”

“I did not…!”, Fenris began harshly, but was silenced when Finn now took sweet revenge and shoved him against the wall, but in contrast to his elf, he went a bit further and pressed his whole body flush against Fenris’ before he kissed him passionately.

“You stubborn oaf.”, he muttered panting as soon as he broke the kiss to gasp for air, “I told you that you wouldn’t like it, but you just wouldn’t listen.”

“And you would have lied to me?”, Fenris asked, clearly hurt, Finn knew from the slight tremble in his dark voice and the fury glittering in his eyes as he spoke.

“No.”, he replied slyly, “Only left you in the dark for your own good.”

Knowing Fenris, he had anticipated an attack, but not the fierce anger in which his elf now clawed at him. More quickly than Finn was able to react, Fenris spun them around again and pushed him back so harshly, Finn stumbled again, hit the back of his legs hard on the edge of the bed and eventually he slumped onto the mattress. He struggled to find his balance again, but Fenris was much faster and pinned him down, Finn’s wrists in his tight grip as he pressed his body into the bed with both his strength and his weight.

“Look…”, Finn began breathlessly under Fenris’ deadly glare that made him squirm, “It was the only thing we could do back then. We were all lonely and…”

“You could have stayed lonely.”, the elf snarled, fury in his eyes, but no other emotion in his features, so Finn gulped before he admitted, “True. But do I strike you as the kind of guy to sit idly by while others are having fun? And that’s what it was, Fenris, fun, a nice diversion, but nothing serious, nothing like what we have…”

His words faded away in doubt because although he did not doubt his own feelings in the slightest, he was not so sure about Fenris’ anymore.

“It was never…”, he began anew, but now he could not met the elf’s eyes and so Finn shut his to muster up his courage. When he opened his eyes again, he locked them onto this brilliant green and said from the bottom of his heart: “Love. And I…I love you.”

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Finn bit his lip. Hard.

Fenris was just staring at him, completely dumbfounded and this made him wish he had never said anything.

He soon took that thought back when the elf let go of his wrists and stroked over Finn’s mouth, actually smearing a drop of blood onto his finger before he leaned in to him and kissed the hurt lip. Finn could not believe it, but he would not question it, he could not when Fenris’ lips gently nibbled on his right before his tongue darted out to play with his. Glad to have him close again, Finn reached for the elf’s sides and stroked over the warm skin and the even warmer Lyrium. It had started to glow in Fenris’ lust, but also the growing hardness that pressed against his stomach was a telltale sign for that.

“To be perfectly honest…”, Finn managed to mumble against Fenris’ temple when the elf placed hungry kisses on his neck, “I also want you. Now.”

“Patience.”, Fenris chuckled but all he did in return was snort, “With that boner? You can’t be serious!”

“Is it really this bad?”, Fenris teased him, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes that made Finn suspicious, “I…might have to see for myself.”

“You…”, he began, but his words died away on his lips and Finn moaned in ecstatic surprise when he felt Fenris’ slender fingers close around his shaft. He involuntarily arched his back off the bed and thereby pressed closer to Fenris, but as he stretched out his hands to return the favour, the elf quickly snatched them both in his grip and held Finn down.

“Hey…”, he complained half-heartedly because Fenris had not stopped the seductive and maddening caress of his fingers. Finn squirmed and wriggled under him, trying to break free just in order to be able to touch him as well, when Fenris snapped at him: “Keep still.”

“And how do you think I could?”, Finn groaned, but this only won him an evil grin that made his heart beat like a bird fluttering for dear life. For once, he had never known Fenris could smile like that…and it did not bode well, not at all.

“Don’t move.”, the elf ordered and this dark, smooth vice was enough to make him shiver, not to mention the continued strokes on his already sensitive and throbbing flesh. He tried to play along, he really tried, yet Finn could not help but struggle against the bonds on his wrists. However, Fenris held him mercilessly in place and inflicted upon him the sweetest form of punishment he knew from the elf.

Kissing, licking and occasionally nipping at his skin, Fenris trailed kisses down Finn’s neck and over his chest until he devoted his attention to one of the already erect nipples, slowly circling it with his warm tongue. Finn hissed in lust he could no longer keep secret. Not that Fenris would not have known his arousal by now, still pumping his hardened member that already twitched in his grasp.

When the elf bit down on Finn’s nipple, he groaned in lust and pain alike and closed his legs around Fenris’ waist, desperately trying to feel him closer, as close as possible. He did not care whether he would feel Fenris inside of him or around him, he just wanted to be closer, so much closer.

“C’mon…”, he moaned when Fenris resumed his trail of kisses that now led him to the other side of Finn’s chest and sure enough elicited an even louder moan as his lips closed around the so far neglected nipple.

“You’re…”, Finn panted, but was interrupted by his very own moan of lust when Fenris’ teeth scraped over the delicate skin, “You’re gonna kill me one of these days.”

All of a sudden, the elf’s movements stopped entirely and Finn gave a groan of displeasure as he opened his eyes. The bed shifted beneath him and Fenris glided over him, still holding his wrists, but now stroking over his bearded cheek as he whispered: “Maybe, but only a little, you know that.”

At this Finn laughed breathlessly and craned his neck towards his lover to kiss him, but Fenris abruptly backed away.

“Huh?”, Finn mumbled in confusion, when suddenly a crooked smirk tugged at the elf’s lips and he asked, “Did I not tell you to keep still?”

“Well, technically, yeah…”, he admitted, “But this gets a whole lot hotter if…ouch!”

Fenris had silenced him by grabbing his throbbing privates with a little more force than advisable.

“Still.”, the elf mumbled against his lips, “In more than one respect.”

Finn could not help it, he laughed although Fenris’ hand was still around his shaft, ready to give it a squeeze again. To be honest, this was exactly what he wanted, so he teased: “You’re gonna need a whole lot more to shut me up.”

At this Fenris tensed and cocked his head, slowly smiling a dangerous smile before he said: “I have a suggestion that would surely make it difficult for even you to talk much.”

Finn arched an eyebrow at this, but the elf did not answer, instead, he kissed down Finn’s neck again. However, he did not stop at his chest this time, but instead descended further and then gave Finn’s length that was aching for him a long, firm lick from bottom to tip. Finn panted, but joked: “No, not good enough, I can still talk your sexy, pointy ear off if I want to.”

He cheekily winked at Fenris, who did not respond, at least not in words. Silently, the elf now knelt on the bed and with a slow nod beckoned Finn to come to him. It was no hard task to understand what Fenris wanted from him with his body exposed like this and glowing and Finn was eager to oblige.

Still, he took a detour and first kissed Fenris’ lips while combing his fingers through the silky white hair, then he kissed his way down, licking over warm Lyrium that tickled his tongue until he reached his destination. Without a moment of hesitation he closed his lips around the tip and sucked the throbbing flesh, eliciting an almost silent moan. He wanted more and he was determined to gain it. Finn employed all the knowledge and skill he possessed, so he soon revelled in knowing that he drove Fenris to the verge of losing control, he knew it from the way the elf slid his fingers in his long, blonde hair and took a hold of him. Yet, he allowed Finn free reign and did not direct him, simply held him there. As if Finn had wanted to be anywhere else…

Cupping the elf’s balls and pressing his tongue against the slit on the tip earned him a low growl and Fenris bucked his hips against him, panting: “Finn…”

Just for fun and to tease him, he tried to answer, but as he had his mouth full, all Finn could manage was a gentle humming. To his surprise, Fenris’ grip in his hair tightened instantly and in the very same moment, the elf backed away, escaping Finn’s lips. He pouted in disappointment, but Fenris’ pants were their own reward so he playfully trailed one finger up to the elf’s lips, always stroking over the Lyrium markings and letting a little magic seep into them as he asked: “What? Was my silence not enjoyable for you?”

Fenris wordlessly arched an eyebrow at him, but smiled before he ordered: “Turn around. No questions.”

“Oh, you’re bossy.”, he joked and pecked the elf on his lips, even though he was impatiently shoved away, “I like that.”

Apparently he did not follow his orders quickly enough for Fenris’ liking, for the elf grabbed Finn’s waist and turned him around before dragging his hips back towards him, eagerly rubbing his shaft against his backside. This was already enough to make Finn almost whimper with need, but he had just about enough dignity left not to show this.

One of Fenris’ hands returned to his front and resumed the caress it had given him before, whilst the other was placed flatly between his shoulder blades and made him prop himself up on all fours, Fenris behind him. Oh, this was promising…

The elf bent over him, placed a kiss on his shoulder and whispered almost silently in Arcanum: “I love you.”

This made Finn tense up instantly, but then he gave a hearty laugh, flushed with happiness. Yet, he just had to joke, so he turned his face to catch a glimpse of Fenris and teased him: “You just couldn’t tell me that straight to my face, could you?”

The elf growled lowly, but then a sharp clash boomed through their room as Fenris had smacked him hard on his backside for this joke, making Finn yelp. His hand soon returned, much more gently this time and as Finn felt oil trickling down his skin and directly to where he wanted Fenris the most now, he bit his lip in pleasant anticipation. His elf did not disappoint him, for his hands now caressed him front and back and Finn’s toes curled when he finally felt the fingers inside him replaced by Fenris’ hard shaft.

He was still cautious so as to by no means hurt Finn, but tonight, he was impatient and met Fenris’ slow movement with a sudden buck of his hips that gave him pleasure and admittedly also a bit of pain, but it was worth it, totally worth it.

“Finn!”, his beloved elf muttered and tensed in concern, but he did not give a damn about it, he wanted him and he was determined to get what he wanted, so Finn rocked against him and soon Fenris met his movements, still cautious at first, but soon their bodies developed a lustful, frantic rhythm of their own and their moans filled the room, mostly Finn’s, as did the sound of skin slapping against skin until Finn tensed up in bliss and had to cry it out, just as he spilled liquid over the sheets and Fenris’ fingers.

The erratic bucking of his hips slowed down and the elf was panting as heavily as Finn was when he slid his arms around his waist and placed a few kisses on his shoulder while hugging him tightly, still inside him.

Slowly, Fenris withdrew and Finn tried to follow him, not willing to end this just now, but he could only sigh deeply when he lost their intimate connection and he plopped down onto the bed, completely exhausted and not caring in the slightest what a mess he had made.

Fenris’ soft chuckle was not enough to make him open his eyes, but he knew that the elf had gotten up and he learned the reason when a cool, wet cloth swept over him to clean away the sweat…and other things.

“What is it with you and your neatness, it’s almost an obsession.”, he grinned, but Fenris did not say anything, instead placed a kiss an Finn’s nose and whispered, again in Arcanum, “I meant it.”

“I know.”, he whispered back using the same language, figuring that it was easier for the elf in this way. And he was right, for as he slowly, lazily opened his eyes, he saw Fenris gently smile down on him.

“Now come to bed again.”, Finn moped and pouted, which made his elf chuckle darkly before he lay down and so Finn immediately snuggled against his back and closed his arms around him. Sleepily, he asked with a grin: “Wanna know how I know you meant it?”

Not very eloquent, but he did not care, instead harked for Fenris’ answer. It came without a word, but the way he slightly cocked his head made Finn know that he was curious and so he mumbled against his shoulder: “You thoroughly hammered it into me.”

He giggled at this stupid joke, but Fenris gave an exasperated sigh and muttered somewhat angrily, yet somewhat affectionately: “Festis bei umo canaverum.”


	38. Fire of the near Future

Finn groaned as he arrived on deck of the “Siren’s Call” and was met with bright sunlight.

“Ah, sod it.”, he grumbled, “If I didn’t love you so much…”

“Who, me?”, a voice to his right teased and he cracked one eye open to look at Isabela who smiled gingerly at him, so he replied, “Course I do, but you ain’t the reason I’m up at this unearthly hour.”

“It’s eight in the morning!”, Heather reprimanded him and dashed forward to him, jumping at him, so he picked the little girl up, kissed the top of her head and said, “I know, but Uncle Fenris kept me up for a long time. And then he woke me up when he left the bed to go on deck and train.”

The girl in his arms giggled and Varania touched his shoulder, before she looked over to where her brother Fenris was training, then she teased Finn: “Did he keep you up now? Tut, tut, you should forbid him to do that.”

Finn laughed loudly, as did Isabela, before he answered: “As if he’d listen to me.”

“As if you’d send him away.”, Varania winked at him and then took Heather from her arms, sternly telling her, “And you, missy, should learn a lesson from Fenris: Train hard, train well and you will succeed. So we’ll train now with Orsino and Anders, come on.”

Dear Heather went with her, unresistingly, and Finn was left to stare after them. Isabela did not even bother to stifle her giggle, so he shot her a glance and mumbled: “You know, she sometimes gives me the creeps. I’m just glad she’s not trying to train me!”

“And you should be.”, Isabela grinned at him, which he reciprocated, but then his eyes roamed over the deck. They had been on board the “Siren’s call” for a few weeks by now and were close to Antiva, this much he knew, but to be honest, he did not really care where they were as long as they were together. His gaze also lingered on Fenris for a while and he smiled, thinking of the nights they had had, but then he looked at the mast. He had done that a lot, but had never dared to climb it.

“Wanna go up there?”, Isabela asked and his head jerked around to her. She smiled brightly and teased: “C’mon, hunk, I know you want to. Man or mouse?”

“Man.”, he nodded, but then looked at the mast again and gulped, “I hope…”

She laughed at him, but then told him: “Just follow my lead, you can’t do anything wrong like that.”

He doubted that, but as they had reached the mast, Finn’s anxiety got the better of him and he whispered: “Did I ever tell you that I’m afraid of heights?”

“You…what?!”, Isabela asked in confusion.

“Yeah…”, he mumbled, but then, to keep his face, he added with a glance at her, “Just…a tiny bit is all.”

“Sure.”, she said dryly, arched an eyebrow at him. Then she grabbed his collar, pulled him to her and snarled, “You go up there now, landlubber, or I’ll make you.”

He liked Isabela from the bottom of his heart, but he had to admit, she could be a scary bitch if she wanted to.

“Right…”, he drawled and tried, but he heard a groan behind him as soon as he had laid his hands on the mast, “Not like that you moron. Here, look.”

As she said this, Finn sulked, but she grabbed his hands and showed him how to do it. Up and up they got, slowly, because she waited for him, but she smiled.

“Alright, we’re half way up.”, Isabela told him and he looked down, but she quickly grasped his jaw and shook her head no, “Don’t, sweetie pie, don’t even think of it. That’s the secret of getting up there.”

“Ah.”, Finn breathed and so instead of looking down, he looked up and slowly ascended to the crow’s nest with her. As soon as he was up there, he took a deep breath, smelling the salt of the sea even more strongly up here and a big grin almost split his face.

“I’m up here.”, he breathed, “I actually am.”

“Damn straight you are.”, Isabela told him and patted his back, then leaned against the thin wall of the nest and looked at him, a question in her eyes he saw, but could not identify.

“What?”, he asked and Isabela grinned, but then averted her eyes before she mumbled, “You love him?”

Finn was taken aback by this question, but then he simply nodded and admitted, “I do.”

She smiled wryly and then, still not looking at him, she wanted to know: “Have you told him?”

Finn opened his mouth to answer, but then he cautiously asked: “Why do you want to know?”

Now she smiled at him and then looked down to Fenris who was still training tirelessly, before she pointed out: “He’s… less grumpy. He was a tad more cheerful as soon as he allowed you close, but now…he’s almost tolerable!”

Together they laughed and Isabela laid a hand onto his arm as she told him: “You’re good for him as he’s good for you. And…you know.”

Finn blinked at her a few times, then she lowered her voice and said: “Hunk, this is my ship, I’m her captain. I can wed you.”

Finn’s jaw dropped. Wed them…? He almost choked on her words and blinked, his heart racing. He thought alone was… almost more than he could take.

From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse at Isabela and she chuckled before she merrily declared: “So you have thought of it!”

“Well…”, Finn blurted out, but then slowly grinned and looked at her, “It occurred to me.”

She gave him a toothy smile, but Finn turned to look down to Fenris, who still gracefully fought against Marie Hawke, and mumbled sadly: “I just guess he ain’t the type for it.”

“But you are.”, Isabela observed and he nodded, sighed and admitted, “Ever since. Dunno why, but somehow the thought seems…encouraging to me. Has always been.”

The following silence made him wary and as Finn looked at Isabela, he groaned at her smiling face: “I know damn well that it’s ridiculous, alright?”

“It ain’t.”, she merely said, but nothing more. They remained silent for some time, then Finn cautiously asked, almost sheepishly: “But…assuming that we ever…got to that. Would you…?”

“Anytime.”, Isabela reassured him and kissed his cheek, for which she did have to stretch a little.

“Thanks.”, Finn nodded at her, but she laughed, “Oh, you should see your face, all blushed and mottled. You truly are in love, hunk.”

All he did was giving her another sheepish grin, but then something caught his eye: “Is that land?”

“Yeah.”, Isabela stated and nodded at him, sarcastically complimenting him, “Well spotted.”

Finn chuntered, she laughed and told him: “We need water, so I brought us to a little island I’ve found a few years ago. It’s far out to the east, the nearest city would be Bastion but it’s days away. We’re gonna have that place all to ourselves and I guess we all could use some shore leave. Especially old Orsino there.”

She sniggered as she pointed at the elf and Finn could not help it, he chuckled as well even though he felt sympathy for the other mage. The constant rocking of the waves surely did not agree with him all too well and he was almost as green as his eyes.

“Poor sod.”, Isabela grinned, “But when I’m not mistaken, he already found someone to take care of him.”

“Yeah.”, Finn grumbled and looked at Varania who was still training with Heather, but from time to time she clearly asked Orsino whether he was alright.

“I don’t like it.”, he said darkly, but Isabela scoffed, “Oh, c’mon! The girl deserves some fun after all she’s been through. And if he’s up to the task, why not?”

“Yeah, if.”, Finn muttered angrily, “I highly doubt it.”

“What, he’s a bit old, but he will get a boner alright, won’t he?”, was Isabela’s reply, practical as ever.

“True enough.”, Finn shrugged, but in silence he decided that he would watch Orsino closely and he did not care whether anyone liked that.

“So, hunk, now for the interesting part of getting to the crow’s nest.”, Isabela joked, “Getting down again.”

At this, Finn gulped, because the breeze and air up there had made him forget about the way down.

“Oh c’mon!”, the pirate scoffed, “They always come down, one way or the other.”

He chuckled, but then tried his best.

“Don’t look down!”, Isabela told him again and he tried, took one step at a time, never daring so much as to glance anywhere downward. Instead he looked up to check how far he was already away from the crow’s nest and suddenly, he felt two strong hands on his sides. Without having to turn around, he knew that it was Fenris who stood behind him and guided him the very last step down from the mast and on deck.

“I was up there.”, Finn proudly told him with a grin and his elf murmured lowly, “I know.”

His voice sent shivers down Finn’s spine and he turned around just to be met by Fenris’ green eyes and a small, yet proud smile on his lips. He could not contain himself, even if he had actually tried.

Feverishly as ever, he kissed Fenris and held him close, but only for a moment.

“Sorry, should’ve warned you about a public display of affection.”, he apologised half-heartedly and the elf sent a glare his way. However, he did not back off, so Finn smiled at him and pecked his lips again before he withdrew.

“The offers stands…”, Isabela told him in a sing-sang as she passed him by, but Finn was distracted when Anders laughed merrily, “What happened to your fear of heights?”

“Mastered it.”, Finn joked, “Marvellously if I might say so myself.”

Fenris gave him a derisive snort at which Finn scowled, but the common laughter made him join in quickly.

“Get ready!”, Isabela called to them all, “We’re going to reach land in a few minutes. You’ll all have shore leave and I expect you all to have fun!”

Anders smiled at her, then looked to Marie and mumbled: “I could think of something…”

“Anders!”, she quickly reprimanded him, but the blush on her fair cheeks gave her away and Finn chuckled before he turned to Fenris and whispered over the commotion Isabela’s orders had arisen amongst her sailors, “What do you say? A walk on the beach?”

“A walk?”, Fenris repeated and arched an eyebrow at him, “A moment ago, I would have sworn that you were thinking of something else entirely.”

“Well…”, Finn began to defend himself, but then grinned down at the elf and admitted shamelessly, “I’d be in for that as well.”

 

Fenris growled at him and stormed off, but Finn laughed. He had seen the twinkling sparks in those greens depths of his eyes and he know without any doubt: Fenris was angry and would make him pay for it…but he was looking forward to their next night together as much as Finn was.

“Whoa, that was harsh.”, Anders looked at Fenris’ back as he had stormed off and was now training again, more fiercely than before, “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing much.”, Finn said with a grin that made Marie groan. Anders, confused, turned to her and she cleared her throat before saying: “Well…you know. When I…before we…”

“Yes, Sweetheart?”, he asked of her and she took a deep breath, but then she closed her eyes and quickly said, as if to get it over with, “Before we were together, I sometimes had urges, so to speak, and as I could not act on them I had to fight them off in another way. I chose training… as did Fenris, I guess.”

Anders stared at her, dumbfounded and Finn laughed out loud, ignoring his friend as he turned to Marie and asked her, “Really, lovely? You fought your desire off by training?”

Now Anders stared at her, even more so as she nodded, but Finn chuckled to himself and then, tears of suppressed laughter in his eyes: “And that bullshit worked?”

Now she laughed as well and stated: “No, of course not.”

By now, Anders was beaming at her and pulled her to his chest, kissing her temple and murmuring: “I have to admit that I like your new way of getting rid of this tension better…by far.”

“Anders…”, she stuttered in embarrassment and blushed, but Finn laughed and, passing her, planted a soft kiss on her cheek as well, but then he went over to watch Fenris during his training. If the elf thought he could flee him, he was wrong and Finn would make him learn that the hard way. Grinning broadly, he leaned against the rail in his back and watched Fenris’ graceful steps and routines. From time to time a sudden glare hit him, but he only answered it with a smile.

“Are you trying to make him angry on purpose?”, a smooth, pleasant voice next to him asked in amusement and Finn laughed, “Orsino… poor is the man who never learned that an angry lover is only the more passionate.”

He shot the older elf a glance and added: “Have you never heard of make-up-sex?”

The elf coughed slightly and Finn watched him out of the corner of his eyes. Sure enough, Orsino’s eyes darted over to Varania and Finn snarled: “Don’t even think about it.”

Orsino winced at his angry voice, but remained silent, so Finn turned to him and told him sternly: “If you ever hurt her, you’ll regret it.”

The elf sighed deeply and Finn thought had gotten the message, so he turned his attention back to Fenris, who was now sparring with Marie again. So it was a surprise that made him jolt when Orsino spoke again, his voice so low he almost could not hear it: “I already regret it more than you could ever fathom.”

“What are you going on about?”, Finn asked him, completely forgetting about how he had wanted to anger Fenris on purpose, but instead he turned to the older elf who, instead of looking at him, had his sad eyes set on Varania who was playing with Heather: “Just look at her. She is…wonderful. But you already know that. I am bound to hurt her, no matter what I do. If I accepted her affections as I really long to do, I would hurt her sometime in our future. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next year, but I will, I am bound to do that. And if I denied her affections, I would hurt her right now, even though I would do so to protect her. Which option is the better? Tell me, Finlay, for I am at my wit’s end.”

Staring at Orsino he had to admit that he too was at a loss for words. So all Finn did was grumble into his beard and repeat: “Just…don’t hurt her. At least not more than you have to.”

Orsino smiled bitterly at this and then nodded his assent: “Believe me, I am trying. But she does not make it easy.”

“She knows what she wants.”, Finn retorted and as the elf’s eyes met his, he gave him a crooked grin, “And if she wants you, I guess none of us has any say in it. Not even you.”

For a moment they were silent, but then Orsino asked, his amusement clear in his voice: “Did you not just tell me to not even think of it?”

“Yeah, well.”, Finn grumbled, “I did. And I still don’t like the way you look at her. But she’s a grown girl and I’m not her father. Besides…”

As the thought hit him, he grinned down at Orsino: “If Fenris finds out, you’re fucked anyway.”

Orsino scoffed and then, his eyes set on Varania’s brother, he muttered with a smile: “If I only had this problem.”

“Let go anchor!”, this loud yell almost muffled Orsino’s words completely and Isabela swiftly ran up to them to order, “C’mon, landlubbers, in the dinghy with you, I’ll get you ashore.”

“Age before beauty.”, Finn grinned at Orsino, who merely arched an eyebrow at him, but did not object, which told Finn exactly how much he hated being aboard a ship.

“Where is Carver?”, Marie asked as she was told to get into the boat, but Isabela laughed loudly, “Still in bed, I reckon, as will Merrill be after their exertions of last night.”

Marie went scarlet all over her face and even Varania giggled as she told her: “There’s only one way you didn’t hear them…”

If possible, Marie’s blush deepened and Anders, without any shame, admitted: “And that’s the very reason we didn’t hear them.”

“What are you talking about?”, Heather asked innocently and Finn could not help but grin.

“Ah principessa, an excellent question.”, Zevran purred and appeared from out of nowhere. Finn had not seen him come.

“Yes.”, Fenris growled and, despite his anger, took the girl’s hand very gently in his and told her, “It is a question to which the answer you will learn in a few years. At best.”

“But…”, Heather bleakly said, however, Fenris had his means to distract her. He picked her up and asked of her: “What do you say, shall we help Isabela row the boat ashore? Maybe we can find some shells and make a beautiful necklace out of them.”

“Let’s try!”, the girl cheered and left Finn dumbfounded as Fenris carried her to a boat.

“Will I ever…”, he mumbled, “When did he get so good with kids?”

“He always was.”, Varania explained bitterly, “He just can’t remember.”

“It seems to come back.”, Orsino hypothesised and she nodded at him, a smile on her lips, but sadness in her eyes. Without thought, Finn took her small hand in his, but just at that very moment, Fenris’ calm, dark voice asked him: “Are you coming, Finn?”

“Yeah!”, he replied and climbed into the boat, together with Anders and Marie.

“Can you row a boat?”, Isabela asked Fenris and he nodded, so she grinned and told him, “Well then, get it over there and I’ll help the others. Go.”

Again Fenris simply nodded, but then, in a low voce, asked Heather to sit with Finn, which she happily did.

“You know, there’s a sailor song I once learned when I was free.”, he conspiratorially told the girl, “Wanna hear it?”

“Only if it is not dirty.”, Fenris growled and Finn scoffed with a grin, “You’re no fun. But no, it’s squeaky clean. Well, almost.”

He winked at Heather, who giggled, but then he began to sing despite Fenris’ glare. Finn sang about a sailor who got drunk and then spoke to fishes and took them home with him. The rhymes did not work anymore, since he had put “fish” in the place of “whore”, but Heather did not mind, Anders, however, laughed himself to tears.

To Finn’s astonishment, Fenris’ fell into the rhythm of the song and his rowing, having been steady before, now kept in line with his song. Little Heather clapped her hands on his lap and sooner than he had thought, they reached the shore. When Finn stopped his song, she applauded merrily and laughed, while Fenris pulled the boat ashore and then picked her up, to carry her to the beach, where they immediately started off to find shells.

“Oh Maker…”, Anders gasped, “I had almost forgotten that tune…Blessed Andraste.”

“This has got nothing to do with her.”, Marie muttered, all red in her face, but she could not contain her smile when she half-heartedly punched Finn, “Fish, yes? He took “fishes” home with him?”

“Well…”, he began, but then simply shrugged and grinned at her, “Relax, lovely, I had to omit that word and fish was the first word I thought of. Fenris hates them.”

“Believe me, we all know by now.”, Anders joked, “A few weeks at sea with him and I thought he’d starve himself to death soon. I was already concerned!”

“You weren’t.”, Finn chuckled and then, seeing that Isabela was on the way ashore with Varania, Orsino and Zevran, he waded into the water to meet them, but the pirate was quicker and, with a dangerous glitter in her eye, not only pulled the boat ashore, but in the process also tackled him and managed to knock him over, drenching him to the bone as he splashed into the water.

They all laughed and soon enough, he joined in on the merriment, but he nevertheless threatened Isabela: “Run for your life!”

“Catch me if you can!”, she dared him and snarling, Finn jumped to his feet. Alas, he stumbled and immediately fell back again, causing Isabela to laugh even more, but then he chased her over the beach. Still, the closer he got to her, the more he was under the impression that she allowed him to reach her. It may have not been fair play, yet he caught her, threw himself onto her and by his sheer weight, pulled her under water. He swallowed a whole lot more of the salty water, he was sure of that, but he picked Isabela up again and even though she struggled, she laughed as he carried her back to the boats.

“Stop fidgeting, you deserve what’s coming your way!”, Finn told her in mock sternness, but he could hardly suppress his laughter as he handed the pirate over to Zevran and said, “Here, punish her as you see fit, I’m sure you’re more creative in that field than I am.”

“Oh, indeed.”, the elf purred and Isabela hopped from Finn’s arms, just to fling herself into Zevran’s who now dragged her into the woods.

“That’s…not exactly what I meant.”, he muttered, but then grinned, “Have it your way, then!”

“I…really do not wish to see them…”, Marie mumbled, but Anders laughed, “Well, they could give us some ideas…”

“Stop it!”, she hissed and he pulled her close, but she wriggled out of his grasp, which he only chose to use for a joke, “Right, Sweetheart, you have enough ideas of your own.”

She blushed furious, but they all laughed and in the end, Marie joined in, but not without shooting a glare Anders’ way.

“Hmm…”, Finn hummed thoughtfully, then shot a glance at Fenris over his shoulder who was still collecting shells with Heather, so he turned back and told both Marie and Varania, “Run, lovelies.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare!”, Varania gasped, but he retorted smugly, “Try me.”

Gasping again, she tried to dash past him, but Finn laughed and quickly snatched her up in his arms, carrying her to the water although she fought him eagerly.

“Stop it!”, she hissed, “I can’t swim.”

“Don’t worry.”, he earnestly told her, but nevertheless dipped her into the water so that she was drenched. But he pulled her out immediately and smiled brightly.

“You…jerk!”, she reprimanded him and hit him on his shoulder, but she grinned, albeit a tad bitterly, “I can’t swim, you idiot!”

“That’s why I’m holding you.”, Finn told her with a grin, but winced when a splash of water hit him and Anders struggled to his feet, wiping the sea water from his eyes whilst laughing, “Remind me to never make you angry, Sweetheart!”

“Believe me, I will.”, Marie smiled at him and, good-hearted as she was, offered to help him up.

“I wouldn’t do…”, Finn tried to warn her, but Anders had already grabbed her wrist and pulled her down into the water to him where she was now gasping for breath, “…that if I were you, sorry, lovely.”

“You are lucky I love you much.”, Marie shot at Anders who in turn kissed her sweetly. Varania in Finn’s arms wriggled and asked him angrily: “Will you let me down now?”

“Fancy another dip before I do so?”, he cheerfully countered her question and she grumbled something, but then he put her feet onto the ground and raised his hands in a defensive manner.

“My apologies, mylady, I…”, he began, but was silenced by a blow to the hollow of his knees that sent him into the knee-deep water again. Astonished, Finn blinked the salt out of his eyes and, despite his disbelief, found Orsino smiling at him, proud and triumphant.

“A nice little game this is.”, the elf said and Finn laughed, “Wanna join?”

“Oh no, thank you.”, was his reply, but Finn did not care, he grinned and got ready to splash Orsino with a blast of Force magic directed to the water, just when Heather ran to the elf and merrily told him, “Look what we found!”

Pouting, Finn abandoned the plan and saw Varania give him a smile, not in the least angry, but then she turned her attention to Heather, who had been picked up by Orsino and now showed him all the different shells she had found.

“This one is particularly pretty.”, the elf pointed at one and she nodded and told him, “See this? Fenris made a hole in it and promised to make me a necklace out of it!”

“Then you should thank him for it.”, Varania told her, but Fenris waved it off, saying, “She already did.”

Finn now smiled at him and just as he had wanted to say something, Fenris asked of him: “Can I have a word?”

“Why so formal?”, he asked warily, but as his elf merely gave him a weak smile and gestured away from the others, he gave in and followed him on the beach until they were out of earshot.

 

“What is it?”, he asked Fenris with a grin, however, as the elf did not reply and did neither meet his eyes, concern took him over.

“Fenris, what’s wrong?”, Finn whispered harshly and as gently as he managed to do it, he touched the elf’s chin, just to make him look into his eyes. But Fenris turned his head away and Finn’s heart slumped down.

“What’s wrong?”, he repeated, but now his voice was not harsh anymore, it was shaky, “Please just tell me.”

“Festis bei umo canavarum.”, Fenris muttered softly and at this, Finn knitted his brows, “What did I do now?”

“Nothing.”, Fenris hissed at him, a furious sparkle in his eyes and also…insecurity? Finn was not sure, but he wanted that strange expression gone, now. So he put his hands on Fenris’ sides and pulled him closer, hoping the little privacy they had would be enough for him, but the elf held him at an arm’s length.

“Look.”, Finn gave an exasperated sigh, “If I did something wrong, just tell me, alright? I might be a mage, but I can’t read your thoughts.”

“I know.”, Fenris replied earnestly, but he still did not look Finn into the eyes, so he grew more and more nervous. He had thought that he could be sure of Fenris and he still thought so, but…maybe the elf did not.

“I…”, Finn began an apology he did not really understand himself, “If I was… too quick with it, I’m sorry, but I just had to say it. That night I… I had to get it off my chest.”

The change in Fenris’ expression was so slight it was almost not visible, but there clearly was confusion in his eyes. Finn sighed deeply and repeated the words he had told him only a few nights ago: “I love you.”

Unhoped-for, yet not unexpectedly Isabela’s offer to wed them came into his mind again, but he put it aside and blurted out: “Sorry, I… I just can’t help it, you’re…”

“Finn.”, Fenris sternly, yet warmly said to interrupt his babbling, but it did not stop him. He babbled nonsense, until Fenris chuckled darkly and put his hands to his cheeks, gently stroking over the stubble that grazed his palms.

“Shut up.”, he then told Finn, who blinked a few times and Fenris made good use of his silence by repeating his words, albeit in Arcanum: “I love…”

At least he tried, but he could not say these words now it seemed, for he grimaced as if in pain.

“You don’t have to say it.”, Finn told him, but could not help the crooked grin he gave him with this, for he had to admit that it had given him a sting to his heart to not have him direct the same display of affection back at him.

“I…”, Fenris began anew, but again he stopped dead.

“Don’t worry.”, Finn said and pecked his lips, „I know it’s hard…“

It had not been for him, but he could imagine that Fenris had a lot more difficulty with such an outright declaration.

“We’re good.”, he earnestly said and pulled Fenris closer to him, but again the elf took a step back and muttered, his eyes closed, “No, I…I am sorry.”

“Don’t be.”, Finn laughed happily, “You’re trying. That’s all I need to know.”

Fenris gave him an apologetic smile, but then he bit his lip, obviously angry with himself.

“Fenris, really, it’s alright…”, Finn tried to assuage him, but the elf violently shook his head, before he sighed in defeat.

“C’mon, let’s return to the others. There’s a whole day on the beach waiting for us!”, Finn suggested eagerly, but Fenris stopped him, “Wait. I…wanted to give you this.”

Curious, he looked into the opened palm of the elf’s hand and his eyebrows shot up. In disbelief, his eyes darted to Fenris’ green depths, then back at the gift in his hand, to and fro, until he managed to ask: “Did you…?”

He stopped mid-sentence, when Fenris gave him his warm, yet small smile and told him: “Yes, I found it just a moment ago while collecting seashells with Heather. I… Hawke told me of the shell she had given you when you had seen a beach for the very first time and I… I just want you to make another memory of a first time, of us at a beach…together.”

Finn gulped, unsure of what to say, so he resorted to cursing: “Shit, Fenris.”

The elf slowly withdrew his hand, pained shock in his eyes, but Finn gently grasped his wrist and muttered choked: “I’m seriously fighting tears here, you jerk, oh so loveable jerk.”

Now the elf chuckled and told him: “Bend down.”

With all the emotion in the world Finn could not have let such an opportunity slip, “What, you wanna have me right here?”

He saw Fenris stiffen and grinned at the elf, who answered hoarsely: “Do not tempt me.”

“Plenty of bushes here.”, Finn offered, his mouth dry as he saw the intensity in Fenris’ green eyes. Any moment now he expected his elf to grab his hand and drag him out of sight of the others to ravish him in any way Finn could have imagined. But no, Fenris ruled his desires with an iron hand and whispered: “No.”

Finn was not surprised, but yet a little disappointed, which Fenris clearly saw, because he combed his fingers through his blonde strands and told him: “You will see later. I…have an idea for this night.”

“Whatever it is, if it involves you, I’m game.”, Finn breathed and his elf smiled, but then ordered him, “Now bend down or I cannot put that necklace on you.”

With a grin, he did as he was told and even brought his mop of hair out of the way to allow Fenris to fasten the thin leather band around his neck, a small, peculiarly purple seashell dangling from it.

“Thank you.”, he earnestly said and Fenris just smiled, but the gentle way in which his long fingers stroked the nape of Finn’s neck betrayed his emotions…and it sent a longing shiver down Finn’s spine.

“If I could have my way, I’d drag you into the bushes right now.”, he hoarsely told Fenris and stared into his eyes, full of surprise, slight shock…and hunger.

“If I could have my way, I would let you do this. But…”

“I know.”, Finn nodded and smiled at him, “It ain’t easy, still isn’t, huh?”

Fenris merely nodded, but Finn grinned at him, slid his hand in the smooth white hair and whispered a loving, teasing threat: „I’ll teach you fornication like no one else could. When I’m done with you, we’ll be fucking openly on a beach.”

The elf’s entire body went rigid, which made Finn chuckle to himself, but his breath hitched when Fenris looked into his eyes, now trembling. In this green fire, Finn saw everything laid bare, lust, desire, need…love. He gulped and then threw what little self-restraint he had to the wind.

With a groan of lust, Finn snatched Fenris up in his arms und almost crashed his lips to the elf’s in a feverish kiss that was beyond his control. He even forgot to breathe and when Fenris pushed him away to gasp for breath, Finn was panting and already seeing stars as he stared at Fenris, still disbelieving. How should he believe that his elf really wanted what he had just suggested in a joke? Although he liked the idea, he had to admit that much…

“Run.”, Finn told him and Fenris blinked at him, so he gave him a crooked grin, “Run or we’ll end up in the bushes no matter what.”

To his surprise, Fenris smiled up at him and then got to the tips of his toes and placed a soft kiss on Finn’s lips that was almost his demise. He sighed deeply into the kiss and could not help it, he deepened it, opened his mouth for his elf and nudged his tongue with his own.

“Oi!”, a loud cry that could not hide Isabela’s laughter startled them both, “Get a room you two.”

Finn burst into laughter and leaned his forehead against Fenris’ as he muttered: “I never thought I’d once be thankful to her for killing the mood stone-dead.”

The elf chuckled darkly, covertly touched Finn’s side and then stepped back. When he saw this, Finn grinned and his elf had obviously seen some sort of dangerous sparkle in his eyes, but even though he prepared himself, Finn was yet able to startle him.

“Hug!”, he shouted and Fenris actually winced which gave Finn the time to tackle him and together they splashed into the water at the beach. Despite his merry laughter, Finn turned around as soon as he was able to so that Fenris was on top of him instead of being buried under his larger form. Still, the elf was gasping for breath and wiping away at his face, now splashed with water and Finn had to laugh uncontrollably as he pressed the drenched elf close to him…then he froze.

After a moment of surprise he chuckled and whispered into Fenris’ ear: “Whatever you’ve planned for tonight, you can’t wait for it either, huh?”

Proof of this was pressing against Finn’s thigh and with a grin he figured that Fenris would involuntarily show his arousal as soon as he stood up with his wet trousers. Grunting, the elf did exactly that and even though at least Orsino, Anders and Marie had the decency to pretend they had not noticed, everyone had seen how aroused he was in fact. Isabela and Zevran of course laughed merrily before the elf addressed Fenris: “I know one or two things that could help you…”

“No.”, was the harsh answer he got, but that did not perturb Zevran’s smile, it widened. However, so did Fenris’ and he told the other elf: “Your so called help is neither needed nor wanted. I can manage with…other means perfectly well.”

The meaningful glance he shot back at Finn made him beam at his elf.

“What a pity…”, Isabela stated, but Fenris shot a dangerous glare at her she answered with a grin. His elf said no more, but Finn was sure he was not angry, so he got up and decided that he would thoroughly enjoy their day on the beach by playing with Heather, teasing Marie and Varania and also Fenris. Sounded like good plan to him.

 

As soon as the sun had begun to set, they had returned to the “Siren’s Call” to spend the night aboard her, but determined to go back to the little island the next day. One reason was that they had all had great fun, the other that they had found some animals they had been able to hunt. The dinner they had had this evening had shown everyone how much Fenris enjoyed not being confronted with fish and even more fish for his meal.

After the meal, Isabela had opened a bottle of quite exquisite Antivan Brandy, but albeit Finn enjoyed the drink, he could not take his eyes off Fenris. His elf was…nervous, down-right nervous, fidgeting with his fingers, clenching and unclenching his fists, licking his lips and darting glances around, but most of the time avoiding Finn. Only then and again he had caught Fenris staring at him and Finn was bewildered to say the least.

So he observed the nervous fit of Fenris’ and he smiled as he put his fingers to the necklace the elf had given him in the morning. This alone had made those three words Finn had wanted to hear superfluous.

Laughter broke into his train of thought and he saw Zevran and Isabela joke, but he did not know what about. And neither did he care. His gaze went to Fenris and as his elf met his eyes, the nervousness subsided a bit. That was all he needed to know.

“We’ll retire.”, Finn told the whole party, but did not look at them for even one moment, instead, he held Fenris’ gaze. The elf sighed in relief, so it seemed, nodded and got up with him. Isabela hooted and shouted at them: “Just keep it quiet, Heather’s asleep!”

“Can’t guarantee that!”, Finn called out to her over her shoulder with a grin, but then he added more seriously, “And since when do you care?”

“True that, Bella.”, Zevran laughed, “Moreover…we’ll just have to be louder than they are.”

Finn chuckled at that, but as he looked over at Fenris, the elf seemed to not have taken any notice of their jesting and was instead lost in thought, silently muttering words. He gave him some time, but as soon as they had reached the room they shared, Finn softly confronted him: “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”, Fenris claimed, but Finn merely arched an eyebrow at him and asked, “Do you really think I’d swallow that?”

Fenris gave him a weak and apologetic smile, but then he suggested: “Let’s just…let’s go to bed.”

Finn opened his mouth to say something, but then just gave an exasperated sigh. He really did not understand Fenris at the moment and it troubled him to no end. Nevertheless, he got rid of his shirt and was just about to put out the candles when he saw Fenris tilt his head curiously.

“You wanna sleep with lights?”, he asked with a grin, but the elf kept staring at him, his shoulders, to be precise and Finn shrugged them, asking baffled, “What is it?”

“Are those…?”, Fenris began, but then stopped and went over to Finn before he gently put one warm hand on his shoulder, “Freckles.”

As an answer, he groaned and explained: “Yeah. Whenever I’m in the sun I get those wretched things. Hasn’t been often so far with the Circle and all, but…well, I tend to get them.”

“They are…”, Fenris mumbled while softly stroking over Finn’s skin so that he was already shivering slightly under his touch, “Cute.”

This word beat him out of his desire and he asked: “What?”

“They are…somewhat cute.”, Fenris confirmed and Finn was left to stare at him, but then he gave a derisive snort, “Cute. Honestly? I don’t think I wanna go as “cute”, you know?”

At this, his elf chuckled again and said: „I like them. They are a part of you.”

This made Finn’s heart skip a beat and he thought of some witty remark to give, but when Fenris placed a tender kiss on his shoulder, his ability to form such remarks was taken from him and all he could do was sigh softly.

“Come.”, the elf invited him and so Finn left the last candle lit, not caring in the slightest, but instead enjoying the way the dim glow was reflected in Fenris’ eyes. They were now fixed on him as the elf took his hand and led him to their bed, but just before they reached it, Fenris turned them around and had Finn meet the bed first. With a smile, he sat down and put his hands on Fenris’ sides, tugging at his shirt: “You’re wearing far too many clothes.”

The elf chuckled, slid his fingers into Finn’s hair and with a small, yet smug grin retorted: “So do you.”

“Oh, so you want me naked?”, Finn joked, “Why didn’t you say so?”

 

“I did. Now.”, Fenris replied and Finn laughed, placed a kiss on the elf’s chest and then, with a bit of an effort, he managed to shimmy out of his pants, now sitting there on the bed, completely bare. And yet he felt hot.

“Your turn.”, he challenged Fenris and again, the elf cocked his head, thoughtfully eyeing him up from the top of his head right down to his toes, before he softly murmured, “Indeed…”

Finn arched an eyebrow, not understanding what he meant exactly, but he really did not want to wait any longer, so he tugged at Fenris’ shirt again, but his elf caught his hands in his own and tried to speak, but then he just silently shook his head.

“What is wrong, Fenris?”, he asked, but again, the only answer he got was shaking his head, “Tell me, I beg of you.”

At his, Fenris smiled slightly and caressed Finn’s cheek, but then he asked in Arcanum: “Patience.”

“Has never been my strength.”, he replied matter-of-factly and saw Fenris’ eyes narrow at that, so he grinned, “Don’t make me wait.”

“True, you have been patient long enough.”, the elf said, again in such a thoughtful and almost aloof voice that Finn now frowned at him, but just as he opened his mouth to ask what by the Maker was wrong with him, Fenris made use of his parted lips and kissed them. Finn sighed and put his arms around his lover, but he soon withdrew.

“Fenris, you’re trembling.”, he stated and the elf nodded in embarrassment, so Finn reassuringly stroked over his back, “What is it? Did… did I do something to you?”

“Many things.”, Fenris chuckled bitterly and smiled, albeit bitterly, also warmly and pecked Finn on his lips before he whispered, “So many things for which I can never repay you.”

“What are you talking about?”, Finn asked, “You’re all I want.”

Fenris gulped upon hearing these words and the grip of his fingers tightened as he closed his eyes and asked of Finn: “Do as I say.”

“Alright…”, he drawled in bewilderment, but not in the least worried for he trusted Fenris with his life. And this his elf knew obviously, because he smiled and took Finn’s hand before telling him: “Lean against the headboard and…do not ask, do not move.”

His bafflement grew, but Finn knew in his blood that whatever Fenris was trying to do, it would be rewarding and it was extremely important for the elf. Otherwise he would not tremble, his voice would not be so thoughtful and hoarse. So Finn did as he was told and leaned against the headboard, he did not even ask or withdrew as Fenris took his hand and guided his arm to the post of the bed, but he flinched when the elf produced a red scarf from the pocket of his trousers.

Right after this a hot wave of lust purged through Finn and he nodded his assent at Fenris. The elf’s fingers were trembling whilst he fastened Finn’s wrist to the post and did not stop trembling when he went to the other side of the bed and tied him thoroughly up. Finn tested the knots and found them just stable enough to hold him there, but loose enough to allow him to free himself.

He smiled at Fenris, thankful for this possibility to get out, but it was a bitter smile as it reminded him that Fenris himself would never tolerate being bound in such a way as it had to remind him of his past too much, just like some other things did, those that made him feel controlled and humiliated. But now, it was Finn who was at Fenris’ mercy and even though he felt exposed, it was comfortable for he was with his elf. One day, he hoped that Fenris would see and feel the difference that made for himself.

Even though he trusted the elf, it was unnerving to see him standing beside the bed and doing nothing whatsoever but stare at Finn, so he tried to speak, but his voice was choked from lust: “So, you wanted me naked and bound. That’s new. Now you have me here, so what do you intend to do?”

Fenris gave him a weak smile and he took a deep breath before he took off his shirt, the Lyrium glowing slightly, but not in the by now familiar light of lust. Something was different.

Slowly, Fenris opened his pants and let them slide down his legs, so Finn had a wonderful view he enjoyed, even though Fenris was not nearly as aroused as he was. Again, the elf fidgeted, clenched and unclenched his fists in uncertainty, but then he bent down and kissed Finn’s lips. He loved Fenris’ kisses, but this one was… chaste.

Just about to complain about this, the elf planted a trail of kisses along Finn’s jaw down to his neck and his shoulder, so the complaint died unspoken. Fenris’ hand made him tilt his head and give him better access of which the elf made good use by grazing his teeth over the sensitive, a little sun burnt skin and when Finn felt his warm tongue, he wanted to hiss and moan all at the same time.

“You’re gonna kill me.”, he panted and a dark chuckle reached his ear before Fenris whispered into it, so close that his breath tickled Finn, “Not yet. There is…more.”

More of what he did not tell him, but he showed him. The elf’s warm fingers travelled down Finn’s torso, gently stroking over his nipples as they did so and he stiffened from this arousing touch. But Fenris got onto the bed with him and leaned over him now, pressing his lips to Finn’s. He could not control his moan and neither did he want to, instead he darted his tongue forward and met Fenris’ who then tilted his head back to deepen the kiss, tangling his hands in the blonde strands of Finn’s hair.

Finn’s fists grabbed at thin air, closing in the desperate desire to hold Fenris close, but he restrained himself to give his elf whatever opportunity he had wanted to achieve by tying him up. Fenris leaned back and looked into his eyes, his hands still on Finn’s bearded cheeks, but then they stroked over his chest again and the elf’s lips latched themselves onto the skin of his neck, before he kissed his way down Finn’s chest until he flicked his tongue over one of his nipples.

“Oh my…”, Finn breathed and his eyes fluttered shut as he indulged in the pleasure he felt that was even intensified when Fenris’ hand closed around his hard and throbbing member and began a rhythm of strokes that was familiar to both of them by now.

In his bliss, Finn leaned back against the headboard and simply enjoyed, but a surprised sensation made his eyes shot open. His hand was still there, but so was Fenris’ tongue. He could not contain his moan as he felt the elf’s tongue lick experimentally over the tip of his shaft.

“Fenris…”, he murmured, but the elf did not give him as much as a glance, instead, he sucked the throbbing tip into his mouth, a sensation that made Finn quiver with lust. And then he fit as much into his mouth as he could take. Finn was suddenly enclosed by wet heat and the strokes of Fenris’ tongue, although hesitant, made his breath hitch.

“Fen…”, he began anew, but could not even finish his name for he was fully occupied not to spill everything he had immediately. Feeling heat rush through his body, Finn tried hard to control himself, but Fenris’ confidence grew and so his tongue caressed him more firmly, sending Finn’s heart galloping as the elf cupped his balls in his hand and gave them a light squeeze while licking up the entire length of him and then sucking on the tip, hard.

“Fenris…”, he panted again, warningly this time, “I’m… Fenris, stop it or…”

But despite his warning, the elf did not stop, no he intensified his caresses and even though Finn tried with all his might so as not to put him through this, at a certain point he lost his fight for control. With a surprised and strangled yell he met his release, a sensation that crashed him down completely, and he spilled his seed into Fenris’ mouth.

He had wanted the elf to get away soon enough, but now it was too late.

Panting and weak, Finn leaned against the headboard and tried to scramble his senses together, but he was still in a dazed state of mind when he felt Fenris’ lips on his, kissing him softly. That the elf also undid his ties he only understood when his arms slumped limply onto the bed.

Still trying hard to catch his breath again, Finn looked into the green eyes of his elf and asked in confusion: “W-why… why did you do that?”

“Because…I wanted to.”, Fenris replied with an honest smile and at first Finn stared at him, but then he chuckled as they had already had this conversation, but now their parts were changed. And then, slowly, but very seriously, realisation hit him and he resumed staring, open-mouthed this time. Fenris merely smiled, stroked over his cheek and nodded: “It is different, just because it is you, because I want you and…”

Again, he stopped dead before saying these words, but Finn did no longer need to hear them, so he simply gave him a crooked grin, but Fenris took a deep breath and spoke: “I am yours.”

Finn trembled and then muttered: “Shit, Fenris, don’t say such things.”

The elf blinked in confusion, but Finn pulled him close and kissed him feverishly. In between two deep, sloppy kisses he told him: “Unless you want me to lose control.”

Abruptly, Fenris withdrew and said: “I do.”

Mouth agape, Finn stared at him, then shook his head to gather his sense again.

“I do.”, Fenris confirmed with a nod and lay down beside him, gently pulling at Finn’s hand and thereby getting him on top, “I want you to lose control, to…give me everything.”

Finn’s mind went blank. Completely blank, so he just lay there and stared at his elf, mouth still agape and his heart racing, for it had obviously already understood what exactly Fenris had meant, but he did not believe it.

“You…what?”, he asked and blinked, which made Fenris smile nervously and he slid his fingers into Finn’s blonde hair, pulled him close and whispered against his lips, “You know what to do, don’t make me wait.”

He did, but he could not believe it. True, once before Fenris had allowed him to be inside of him, but even then Fenris had taken the initiative, had been on top and in control. Now, however… the elf lay under him, his chest heaving and his slender body pressed into the mattress by Finn’s weight.

He opened his mouth to object, but Fenris’ chuckle stopped him: “Yes, I am sure that I really want this. I want you. Now, Finn.”

Impatience was showing in his voice and he lifted his hips to press them against Finn’s which only showed him how much his elf wanted him right now. Slowly, for he still felt dazed as if in a dream, Finn leaned in to his elf and kissed his lips almost chastely, however, Fenris turned their kiss into something entirely different. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, he opened his mouth for Finn and licked over his bottom lip, sucked at it and, as Finn was apparently not responding in the way he wished him to, he even bit him. Not hard enough to draw blood, but he made a stand.

Panting in amazement, Finn stared into Fenris’ eyes and as he saw the want, the love in the green depths together with the reassuring smile on those soft lips…he did lose control.

“Sod it.”, he muttered and crashed his lips to Fenris’ again, taking his mouth in a deep, passionate and loving kiss, just as he was about to take his body.

Finn stretched to reach for the oil on the bedside table. They used it so frequently that they did not even bother to store it away anywhere.

With shaking hands, he poured some of the liquid onto his fingers and Fenris willingly opened his legs for him. Upon seeing this, Finn moaned and kissed the elf before he hissed: “You have no idea whatsoever how that feels.”

“I have an idea.”, Fenris told him with a smile and stroked over his cheek, pure trust in his eyes as he repeated the words he had said before, “I am yours.”

A surge of desire rushed through Finn and he just had to feel Fenris right now, had to touch him, so his oil-covered fingers found their destination and he impatiently slid them inside the elf. Immediately he hesitated and felt guilty, but the way Fenris’ eyelids had fluttered shut and how he arched his back just to get closer to Finn’s fingers to feel him more closely made him forget his fears. His elf really wanted this and in this very way.

So he began to move his fingers and watched Fenris closely; if there was any sign he did not thoroughly enjoy this, Finn would stop that very instant. However, Fenris trembled and panted, his Lyrium took on a bright blue glow and Finn already felt the magical tingle emanating from him, so he leaned in and followed one of the markings with his tongue. This in turn made Fenris hiss in surprise and lust, and he grabbed Finn’s shoulders as if he needed something to hold onto, an anchor.

With a satisfied grin, Finn bent the fingers inside Fenris’ ever so slightly, just to test out his reaction… and it baffled him to no end. The elf went rigid in his arms, but then he gasped for breath and moaned his name: “Finn…”

At this, he grinned and having achieved so much, he wanted even more, so Finn placed a kiss on Fenris’ sternum, never disrupting the caress of his slightly bent fingers, and then he closed his lips around one of the erect nipples, sucking it lightly and then giving it a firm lick. The Lyrium was already glowing brightly, so Finn wanted to elicit even more of an effect, but he was stopped when Fenris’ grabbed two whole hands full of his hair and pulled him upwards, so he could kiss him. Panting after this forcefully, yet oh so wonderful kiss, the elf growled: “Do not make me wait any longer, Finn.”

He laughed quietly and asked lovingly: “Do you really think I could wait any longer?”

As he said that, he pressed his loins to Fenris’ thigh and thereby made him feel how ready and wanting he already was again. It won him a moan at which Finn chuckled, then he caressed the elf’s inside with his fingers a last time before pulling them out. They both grimaced at the loss, but Finn used the remaining oil on himself, then he leaned close to his elf and carefully spread his buttocks. He had not seen him like this and the view alone was almost too much for Finn. Yet, he darted glances at Fenris’ face, just to be sure and the elf gave him a smile, but then whispered harshly: “Now, Finn, or I will make you do it.”

“You are already.”, Finn gulped and slowly advanced. He was trying to be extra careful, to do it slowly, but the tip of his shaft skidded inside his elf almost effortlessly and they both moaned in lust, so that Finn’s body pushed forward on its own accord.

It was almost impossible to scramble his senses together, but he managed to at least slow down when he felt Fenris wince, but then it was the elf who pulled him closer, rested his hands on Finn’s hips and urged him on. That was the moment in which every last shard of Finn’s self-restraint was shattered into smithereens.

With a low moan, he sheathed himself into the wet heat, a sensation that made him tremble, and he pulled out so that they almost lost their connection, just to bury himself in his elf as deeply as he could. Finn was no longer able to control his erratic movement and so he pounded into his beloved elf under him with quick, fast and hard strokes that made them both moan in their shared ecstasy for it was Fenris who pulled him in for an open-mouthed kiss.

 

The elf’s fingers still in his hair, Finn slid his arms around Fenris’ chest, pressed him to his chest as tightly as he could and all the while going as deeply into him as he could. When they broke their kiss to desperately gasp for breath, Finn licked over the Lyrium markings on Fenris’ throat and the elf’s whole body went rigid in his arms as he felt the wetness of his lover’s release on his stomach. The knowledge that he had enjoyed this, that he had not even needed Finn’s touch anywhere else flung Finn into bliss and he was seriously seeing stars as he muffled his lustful groan by hiding his face in the crook of Fenris’ neck.

They were both panting, hearts racing and so they waited together to recover, a time in which Finn only managed to plant kisses onto Fenris’ skin and mumble nonsense. The elf combed his fingers through Finn’s messy hair and when he finally managed to look up and meet Fenris’ eyes, all Finn could manage to whisper was: “Thank you.”

Fenris began to softly shake his head, but he sincerely added: “For your trust.”

The elf smiled and murmured: “Whom could I trust but you? The man I love.”

For this, Finn beamed at him and kissed his lips, but as he had to move for this, they both moaned quietly and he chuckled light-heartedly.

With regret, he withdrew and lost their most intimate connection which made him sigh, but he was not long without Fenris, for the elf followed him and bedded his head on Finn’s shoulder, his hand over Finn’s still racing heart. Contently, he sighed, placed his hand over Fenris’ and slowly drifted off to sleep, when unexpectedly Isabela’s offer resounded in his mind. At this, he stiffened a bit, just ever so slightly before he controlled himself again, but Fenris had of course realised this and so he propped himself up and asked, concern in his voice: “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.”, Finn said quickly and laughed as he had now used the exact same word as an excuse as Fenris had before and it was ridiculous. Moreover, the elf’s baffled and sceptical expression was quite the sight, so Finn gave him a crooked grin and sheepishly admitted: “It’s a bit dumb… but I can’t get it outta my head.”

Fenris merely looked at him, the change in his expression almost unperceivable, but Finn had seen it and took a deep breath: “Maker’s balls, how am I to explain that?”

Now Fenris tilted his head curiously and Finn laughed lightly, touched the elf’s cheek and warmly told him: “Isabela is captain of the ship. And by virtue of that she is in the position to wed a couple. And she suggested we… you know.”

This time, the change in Fenris’ face, if there even was any, was so slight not even Finn could decipher it. Concerned, he blinked at his elf, waited for a reaction, anything at all, when suddenly…he smiled.

This made him blink even more and Fenris chuckled darkly before he perceived: “You thought I would be put off by this suggestion.”

“Well…”, Finn drawled, “Kinda…?”

Fenris’ smile broadened so that it was almost a smile by regular standards and he told Finn: “I am not.”

He had no reply to this, he could just stare and Fenris chuckled.

“You’re…not?”, Finn asked and his elf smiled before he kissed his lips and whispered, “I already told you. I am yours.”


	39. Fire of Antivan Nights

“Behold the beauty that is Antiva, my friends!”, Zevran called from the nose of the Siren’s Call, “This land will give you pleasures you have not even dreamt of so far.”

“Is that so?”, Orsino mused with a barely hidden smirk and Varania rolled her eyes at him, but smiled as well. Finn, however, looked at Fenris next to him and asked: “Pleasures I haven’t even dreamt of? What, is this country full of Fenris doppelgangers?”

His elf shot him an angry glare for this, but Isabela laughed: “Who the blight knows? If there’re more guys like Zev, I might even forget about you.”

“Bella, you underestimate me.”, the Antivan elf grinned at her, but then addressed the rest of them, “So, allow me to guide you through the beautiful pearl of Antiva, the port of Antiva City.”

“What do you say?”, Finn smiled at Fenris, who took a deep breath and then warily asked, “What will you show us?”

“Oh, whatever you want, my friend.”, Zevran purred and stepped closer to Fenris, who merely arched an eyebrow at him and growled, “Do not even think of it.”

At this, Zevran pouted and Finn laughed in amusement: “Don’t even try. We’re both not much for sharing. But I for my part would love to see the city.”

“Well chosen, hunk.”, Isabella called out, “She really is a pearl beautiful beyond what you’d expect from a port. You really should see it. So, who’s with us?”

Finn looked at Fenris, who shrugged and then nodded, which made Isabela cheer, but he muttered at Finn in Arcanum: “I know that it is of importance to you.”

“Somewhat, yeah.”, he answered and put an arm around the elf’s shoulders as he heard Marie reply with a smile, “It would be nice to see it. We will come with you.”

“Are you sure?”, Anders asked sadly and she nodded, but it was Isabela who answered, “No one here knows your face, Blondie. Gosh, lighten up a bit and be a man!”

This earned her a chuckle from the mage and he nodded, so she whirled around to Varania: “What about you, sweetie?”

“Uhm…”, she hesitated and Finn smirked, but as he was about to encourage her, Fenris growled lightly.

“What?”, he asked irritated, which made Fenris look at him as if nothing had happened. Varania grinned at them both, however, she politely declined: “No, Isabela, thank you. I guess… I’ll hold the fort. And someone has to watch Heather.”

Isabela arched her eyebrows at her, but Orsino came to her aid – totally altruistically, as Finn suspected – and said: “I had a lesson for Heather and Varania scheduled today anyway. We will stay here and wait for your safe return. Moreover, someone will have to explain to Carver where you are as soon as he wakes up.”

“If he ever wakes up again.”, Zevran smirked, “Every night I’m astonished at their exertions…”

“Can we…change the topic? Please?”, Marie asked shyly and made everyone laugh, but she covered it up nicely as she asked Orsino, “You are sure you want to stay?”

“Yes.”, the older elf replied, took Heather’s hand and both his pupil and Varania nodded as he added, “We will make good use of the quiet and study.”

“Seriously?”, Isabela asked and then snorted, “Well, your loss. C’mon, we’re off!”

Finn was sure he heard her mumble “I can guess which sort of “lesson” you’ve planned for Varania, old geezer…”, but he merely smiled to himself and hoped Fenris had not heard it. And he had not, as he was saying goodbye to his sister, his eyes darting into Orsino’s direction now and again so Finn chuckled lightly.

“It doesn’t look good for the old man, does it?”, Anders asked him with a smile and Finn shook his head, “If he does anything at all, Fenris’ll have his heart in his hands.”

“He will have to get it from Varania first.”, Marie smiled and made Finn laugh out loud. Varania looked curiously at him, so he strode over to her and pulled her into a bear-hug, he even lifted her from the planks of the deck until she protested and cried out: “Blights! What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I just love you so much.”, Finn grinned at her and she snorted, “Sure thing. Get lost.”

For that, he simply had to place a deliberately wet kiss onto her cheek and she yowled at him in disgust for it. Now Finn made off, laughing loudly and joining Isabela and Zevran as they both smirked at his actions.

“You’re such an idiot, hunk.”, she smiled at him and Finn put an arm around her shoulders for a moment as he earnestly said, “And this, Izzy, is what you like about me.”

“True enough.”, she shrugged and Finn let go of her as Fenris joined them. Together they walked down the plank and Finn, rollicking in his joy about shore leave, jumped down the last bit.

“You’re a maniac.”, Anders gasped and as Fenris’ glare hit him, Finn smiled, “Look, you two agree on something.”

Marie rolled her eyes at him and playfully slapped him on the back of his head, a hit that actually made him wince, even though she had not meant to hurt him, but she carelessly smiled and then addressed Zevran: “Well then, show us your country, if you please.”

Zevran bowed low to her and with a voice smooth as silk he replied: “Dearest Champion, nothing could please me more.”

“Bloody liar.”, Isabela chuckled and Zevran flashed her a grin, but without another word, he turned around and led them through the port. Finn stared at everything around him, turned his head from side to side to take in the view, completely unfazed by the constant drizzle that got into his eyes, as he could do nothing more than stare and gape. He even missed most of Zevran’s explanations in his amazement.

“Finn?”, Fenris’ voice reached his ears, but not even this was enough to distract Finn, he simply kept staring at the buildings, so different from those he had known in Ferelden and Kirkwall and very different from the few things he remembered from Anderfels.

“Finn? Are you alright?”, Marie asked in concern and he managed to nod, but had a hard time forming words.

“What, a little fresh air and you can’t talk anymore?”, Isabela teased, but Fenris scoffed, “Fresh? Hardly. Everything here reeks of fish.”

“It is a port, you know…”, Anders suggested and Finn had to smile as he could practically see his elf’s deadly glare without having to look, but he had to try to be able to answer Isabela’s question, “That’s… not it. It’s just… Everything’s so…”

It was ludicrous how he did not even manage one straight sentence, but luckily, Anders was there to help him out: “You have no idea how astonishing things are when you see them the first time. Ever.”

“You’ve never been to a port before?”, Isabela asked incredulously, “Don’t lie, hunk, we’ve been to the Docks in Kirkwall together more than once.”

“May that be as it is, Bella.”, Zevran purred, “Yet you will have to agree that Antiva City is so much more beautiful than the City of Chains.”

“What isn’t?”, Anders chuckled and Finn nodded at this, finally managing to speak one coherent thought out loud, “True that. It’s just… these buildings are so different, the air is different. And everything is… exotic.”

When he was finally able to break his eyes away from the wooden buildings and their colourful decorations as well as all the flowers he saw, he looked at his friends and sighed: “I know bloody well that it sounds dumb…”

“It does not.”, Marie told him gently and touched his hand, but then turned to Zevran and asked, “Are there any specific sights?”

At this Zevran laughed heartily and then told her: “Why, yes! I could show you the secret archive of the Crows, although I do not think they would particularly like that.”

“Nor would I.”, Anders chimed in and the elf grinned at him, continuing his jesting: “Well then, I guess neither would their prison, Velabanchel, be to your liking. But the Royal Bank is boring. So I guess we just stroll around the market, inhale the wonderful scents of the various flowers… and simply enjoy this… Perfumed Spring.”

Isabela laughed at this and muttered: “You sly fox…”

Finn was sure he had missed something, an innuendo of some sort, but he did not care. Yet he followed Zevran when he led them through the market, but he still kept gazing at the houses around them and the cliffs into which Antiva City was nestled.

“Venhedis…”, he heard Fenris curse under his breath and Finn had to grin as the elf grabbed a tight hold of his hand and added in Arcanum, “Try not to get lost.”

“How could I with you to hold my hand?”, he shot back, grinning like an idiot, but that was fine with him. Moreover, Finn was glad to have Fenris to keep him on track, for so he could let his gaze roam freely over all the sights around him. Flowers, they were everywhere and all of them in full bloom, brightest colours and heavy scents, even though he still smelled the fish they sold at each corner.

“What is this?”, Marie asked and inhaled the scent of a deep blue, velvety flower. Anders joined her as did the rest of them and Zevran smiled as he explained: “This, dearest, is the Captain of the Night Sea. A rare flower, but exotic in its beauty, so no wonder you felt attracted to it.”

“Oi, watch it.”; Anders warned him in a friendly way and Zevran, all the acted gentleman, bowed deeply and continued: “It got its name from an Antivan myth that tells from a pirate captain who sailed all the seas…and he had a girl in every port, no matter how small it was. This flower’s scent is a strong aphrodisiac.”

Marie winced and backed away quickly, bumping into Anders. Finn burst into laughter, as did Anders as he asked her: “Is it already working, Sweetheart? My, you’re eager.”

“Shut up.”, Marie grumbled as all of them laughed, but Fenris came to her rescue as he growled, “I strongly hope this city has more to offer than your jests and some flowers.”

“Indeed it has!”, Zevran smirked and held his hand up palm upwards for the light and warm rain to wet it, “But don’t you like the flowers? They are always in full bloom with the humidity.”

“Forget it, Zev, beauty is lost on this one.”, Isabela chuckled and the elf shrugged, “Ah, a pity. Well then, maybe the culinary aspects of this town can convince you of its beauty. The fishwives make excellent fish chowder.”

Fenris winced and clutched one hand to his stomach. Finn half expected him to retch on the spot, but the elf squared his shoulders and firmly stated: “I will abstain from it, thank you.”

Zevran blinked at him a few times, but then chuckled: “You don’t like fish. And you’re on a boat with Bella. You poor sod.”

“Can we talk of something else?”, Fenris asked and seeing how the elf was already considerably pale, Finn nodded, tightened the grip his elf had on his hand and now he was the one to lead Fenris as he left the blue flower, the Captain of the Night Sea, behind. Fenris grimaced and Finn already knew what he was thinking, so he sincerely said: “Hey, don’t worry. Put me into a city filled with bell pepper and I’ll too look the worse for wear.”

The elf smiled weakly at him and Finn, not caring in the slightest whether or not he might like this, placed a small kiss on his temple.

“Are you alright?”, Marie enquired as their friends reached them and Fenris nodded, just as Zevran sighed, “Oh well, I guess apart from the architectural beauty, this city will not be duly appreciated by you all. So I suggest we move straight to the more interesting part of my little tour. Admittedly, it was going to be the only real fun part anyways.”

“What are you talking about?”, Marie asked warily, but Zevran merely smiled at her mysteriously and elusively replied, “Wait and see, dear. You will like it.”

“Somehow, this statement makes me doubt it.”, she smiled, but gestured for Zevran to lead the way. With another bow, the elf started deeper into the city and Finn again looked at the buildings instead of their way. They were all fit snugly into the cliffs, every nook and cranny was exploited as best as their builders had been able to. Nevertheless, there were slight changes and Finn knew just from the architecture that they were on solid ground now and had left the cliffs behind.

“Where are you taking us?”, Marie insisted, but Zevran winked at her and asked, “Are you expecting some of my former brothers in arms? Do not fret, dearest. I would know if they were on our trail and alas, they are not.”

Marie grimaced, but said nothing more as Anders took her hand in his. As Zevran led them deeper into the heart of the city, the stench of fish abated and in the same extent, Fenris looked better. Finn smiled and inhaled deeply as now the air, humid from the slight, yet constant rain, was filled with the spicy and heavy scent of all kinds of flowers. All around them, clinging to the stone and all the surfaces of buildings, flowers of all kinds and richer colour than Finn had ever seen stood in bloom, their heads so heavy they drooped.

Finn was racking his brain about the few things he remembered from his botany lessons as he tried to identify some of the flowers, so he almost bumped into Fenris as he belatedly realised that their group had come to a halt in front of a building hung heavily with the deep blue flowers Marie had been admiring earlier. The building was made from lush, dark wood and between all the flowers, it took Finn a while to find the inscription on the front that read “The Perfumed Spring”.

“Is this…”, Anders began, his eyes narrowed as were Finn’s and Fenris’ as the elf ended his question, “…a brothel?”

“A brothel?”, Marie echoed indignantly and turned around, ready to storm off, which almost made Finn chuckle, had he not been so surprised himself. But Zevran stopped her with a gentle gesture and, having his arm around her waist, he told her with a voice as sweet as honey: “It is, dearest Champion, but trust me in this. I know the owner and I will always get good rooms here. This visit is on me.”

“But…”, Marie protested as Zevran gently pushed her backwards into Anders’ arms who smiled at her, kissed her temple and said: “You don’t have to book someone, you know? And quite honestly, I’d prefer if the two of us could just withdraw into a quiet room to…you know.”

Marie was as red as the lushest of the flowers, but then nodded apprehensively.

“You know, we could always switch partners if you’d like, lovely.”, Finn offered himself in a joke he knew was cruel.

“I think not…!”, Marie quickly gasped and he touched her shoulder, not wanting to make her drop dead when he would try to kiss her forehead now and told her, “Relax, it was a joke.”

“A very bad joke.”, Fenris insisted and Finn rolled his eyes, but smiled at the elf.

“What now?”, Isabela scoffed, “Are you game? Cos I can totally make use of a suite with Zev on my own. It only takes the two of us to thoroughly desecrate even a brothel.”

“This I can believe.”, Fenris muttered under his breath and looked at Finn, a silent question in his eyes he nevertheless understood. And by inclining his head, Finn answered it, he would not do anything Fenris did not want, nor would he let anyone else near his elf. However, Fenris’ smile was still tense when he agreed: “Alright.”

Isabela grinned broadly and entered the brothel without hesitation, Marie, however, was far more reluctant and it took Anders and Finn to almost push and pull her into the establishment at once to get her into it. As they went through the door, Finn smirked at Zevran: “Enjoy the “Perfumed Spring”? My, you are clever, you know that?”

“I try my best.”, the elf replied and returned Finn’s smile, before he went directly to the lightly dressed clerk behind the counter, a woman with dark skin and a welcoming smile on her face as she caught sight of Zevran.

If the air outside had been rich with the scent of flowers, the interior of the brothel was even more so. It was warm and humid, but not as airless as Finn might have expected. It was comfortable, yet the air alone made him wish to get out of his clothes. A quick glance to the side showed him that Fenris was tugging at the collar of his armour and he had to smile as this told him the elf, too, wanted to get out of this monstrosity of a chest plate. Finn would gladly help him.

“Wonderful, bonita!”, Zevran exclaimed and blew the clerk a kiss as he joined their group again, waving a bronze key in his hand, “This, my friends, is the key to undiscovered desires.”

Marie was pale and meekly asked: “Could you be more precise, Zevran?”

The elf flashed her a grin and gracefully slunk closer, so close that Marie tensed up. Finn and Anders simultaneously stopped him with a warning glance and a hand on his shoulders.

“You really aren’t one to share, my friend.”, Zevran smirked at Finn who shook his head and asked, “Show us what this key unlocks or I’m outta here.”

“Your loss.”, Isabela laughed and slapped Zevran gently on his back, then cuddled to his side and rested her hand on his behind as she hissed at him, “But you really should get going. Stop playing games or I’ll have to find another elf to play with.”

“Get your own.”, Finn mumbled before he could stop himself and even though Fenris looked indignantly at him, the rest smiled, so he was happy with the result.

“Ah, fine.”, Zevran gave in with a sigh of mock resignation, “Follow me.”

He led them past the counter and up a small, yet artfully built staircase.

“That’s…graphic.”, Marie muttered as she saw the paintings on the wall and Finn had to smirk as he too caught a glimpse of the paintings showing various activities one could indulge in whilst in a brothel.

“Just to give you ideas.”, he playfully told Marie and she snorted, glancing at one picture and muttering under her breath, “Is that even physically possible…?”

“Yes, Sweetheart.”, Anders nodded with a teasing smile, “It is. We could…”

“Thank you!”, she blocked him and he kissed her knuckles. It amused Finn to no end that she was still so prudish when it came to this. Still smiling he turned around to Fenris to make a suggestion, but he had not even raised his hand to point at a painting, when his elf glared at him and effectively shut him up by that.

Finn knew, they would try whatever Fenris fancied, but would never discuss it in the open. And he was totally fine with that.

 

When the narrow staircase ended, they found themselves on a gallery overseeing the hall below. Finn peered down, as did all of them, but Marie was the first to withdraw with a girlish squeak he had never thought her throat could produce.

Smiling, he looked down into the hall and watched the prostitutes and punters as well as the couples that had already made their match and were now acting it out in separated alcoves.

“Interesting…”, Anders mumbled next to him and the two friends exchanged a grin, then Anders returned to Marie, whilst Finn found Fenris standing next to him.

“See anything in particular you’d like to try?”, he whispered in Arcanum and Fenris raised an eyebrow in silence, but then pointed at the couple of two men right below them, their rhythm slow, deliberate and almost romantic from their point of view.

“The illusion of love.”, Fenris replied in Arcanum as he watched them, and then looked into Finn’s eyes, a glint in the fiery green as he added, “I want the real thing. With you.”

“You shall have it.”, Finn promised earnestly and took a hold of his hand. However, Fenris withdrew when Isabela’s voice interrupted their moment: “Come on, you two.”

Finn rolled his eyes at her, but then followed her and marvelled at the sight he was greeted with. Polished wooden floors, beautifully draped curtains and velvety cushions everywhere, strewn on the floor creating little nests. And on the dark wooden table in the middle of the room there was a bowl of ripe, juicy fruits and a decanter filled with wine as red as blood.

“Welcome, my friends.”, Zevran purred and then gestured at the doors leading to the adjacent rooms, “There are four bedrooms at your disposal, have fun. There to the left is a warm little pool and next to it a steam chamber.”

Finn had heard enough.

“A steam chamber?”, he gasped and happily looked at Fenris, “C’mon, I’ve always wanted to try that!”

His elf sceptically raised an eyebrow before he declined with a smile: “Then go ahead, but I do not particularly like the humid heat.”

“You’ve never had a proper taste, then.”, Isabela purred, “I could give you one…”

“Back off, sweetie.”, Finn grinned and she returned it before inviting Fenris with a friendly smile, “Let him have his fun and get all sweaty for you in there. We could spend the time at the pool, drinking wine.”

Fenris lightly bowed his head in agreement and turned to Finn, speaking in Arcanum: “I will wait for you.”

He smiled, but as the elf wanted to turn around, he stopped him by touching his forearm. They exchanged a smile and Fenris then got to the tips of his toes to kiss Finn. It was an innocent and brief kiss, but it made Finn wish for so much more and pleasant anticipation filled him.

“I will…accompany you, if you are alright with this.”, Marie told him, her face almost as red as the wine and Finn could not resist the opportunity for an improper joke, “Sure. Ravish me in the steam chamber.”

“Finn!”, she hissed, but all he did was laugh, even as she punched him playfully, yet painfully.

“I guess I will come with you to protect my lady from you.”, Anders chimed in with a grin and together, the three of them headed for the steam chamber.

“You can leave your clothes in the wardrobe.”, Zevran called after them and so they did. Finn was snickering to himself all the while for he was undressed in no time and had a towel slung around his hips, Anders was just a tick slower, but Marie took her sweet time even though she was not wearing her armour and Finn had turned his back to give her privacy.

“This is…awkward.”, she finally managed and as Finn turned around, he found her averting her eyes and her cheeks red as a beetroot.

“I solemnly swear I won’t touch you.”, Finn said, one hand above his heart, but then he winked at her and added, “At least not under the towel.”

“Finn!”, she hissed again, but Anders laughed and chuckled, “I honestly advise you not to. For your own good.”

“I know.”, Finn nodded and then took Marie’s hand, “C’mon, lovely, I’m an idiot, but a nice guy. Zev would’ve sneaked a peek.”

“Which is why I am with you.”, she blurted out and Finn smiled, but then led her to the steam chamber.

How Zevran had arranged this all was a mystery to him and would probably always be, but the chamber was already heated and filled with hot steam, enclosing him and filling his nostrils with a sweet scent.

“Oh…”, Marie softly breathed and as Finn followed her gaze, he laughed.

“Well then.”, he mused as he too had spotted the dark blue flowers in the chamber, “I guess it won’t take long until you two are horny enough to ravish each other.”

“Take care.”, Anders warned him with a grin, “We might include you.”

A strangled sound escaped from Marie’s throat and then she shook her head and simply flopped down onto a wooden bench, muttering to herself. Finn chose another corner of the small chamber, giving them as much privacy as he could as he sat back and closed his eyes. This was way better than he had ever imagined.

He lost track of time and had no idea for how long they had already been in there, he only realised that sweat covered his almost naked body and that his hair curled in the humidity, growing more and more unruly as he tried to tuck it behind his ears.

He was not yet ready to leave, but a somewhat expected sound made him open one of his eyes; Marie’s breath hitched and through the mist of steam, he saw Anders’ hand wander over her back…whilst the other had snuck under her towel and was somewhere between her thighs. Finn had a pretty good idea of where exactly it was, but he pretended not to know. At least he tried, but he smiled broadly and heard Marie clear her throat awkwardly.

“Oh, proceed, by all means.”, Finn joked and she coughed, so it was Anders who answered, “We will, but not here. And without you.”

“Poor me…”, Finn sighed and flashed Marie a grin, but she wordlessly grabbed Anders’ hand and rushed out of the chamber, pulling him with her so quickly his friend barely had the time to look at Finn again. In all honesty, Finn had thought him an idiot if he had wasted a single thought at him instead of making good use of Marie’s urgency and quickly deciding on the best way to pleasure her.

Chuckling to himself, Finn got up, uselessly wiped sweat from his forehead and left the chamber. The room he entered was humid and warm, yet not really compared to the steam chamber and so he shivered and grabbed another towel to dry himself off as he proceeded to the pool.

Fenris was sitting at the edge of the pool, his back turned to Finn and he decided to surprise his beloved elf. Zevran sat in front of Fenris in the shallow water as did Isabela and by the looks of it, both were naked. Once again Finn had to admit to himself that Izzy truly was beautiful as he saw her sitting there, sipping wine from a crystalline cup and laughing, her bare chest already wet from a quick dip in the pool. She was the first to spot him, but as Finn raised a finger to his lips to beckon her to stay silent she complied with his wish, blending back into the conversation between Fenris and Zevran as if nothing had happened.

But then, something happened and Finn could not even begin to fathom it.

Zevran gracefully glided through the water in Fenris’ direction and as he knelt in front of the other elf, Finn could see that the former assassin was in fact naked…and very much aroused. However, what really made Finn stop dead in his tracks was the fact that Zevran reached out and gently touched Fenris’ cheek, stroking back the silky white hair… and Fenris allowed it.

Isabela stared at them both, as did Finn for a moment, but then he stepped up next to his elf and asked with a tense smile: “Hey, are you starting without me?”

“Finn!”, Fenris called happily and jumped to his feet as quickly and sure-footedly as Finn knew him, not in the least guilty or surprised to see him.

“Hi.”, he said and could not keep a pang of jealousy from his voice, but Fenris did not in the least respond to it, but instead grinned merrily, “You’re finally here. I’ve missed you.”

This…made Finn’s heart skip a beat. But it galloped back into action when Fenris carelessly dropped his cup of wine into the water of the pool to embrace Finn tightly, pressing is body against Finn’s, thereby rubbing his stomach against Finn’s crotch. Combined with the laboured breathing and the fact that Finn could feel Fenris’ already erect and ready shaft press against his thigh, it made him close his eyes and take a deep breath to calm down.

Yet, this effort was to no avail as Fenris grabbed his buttocks, pressed against him with all his strength and kissed Finn so deeply it took his breath away. Gasping for air, he tried to pull away, but Fenris did not allow him to, instead one hand glided into Finn’s hair and held him in place as Fenris savoured their kiss, biting his lower lip and, as Finn gasped in surprise and a little pain as well, the elf’s tongue dove into Finn’s mouth, nudging his own to play.

When Finn finally managed to break away, he was panting. Irritated, he took a step back, but Fenris immediately followed him and tightened his grip on Finn’s hair, whilst the other hand jerked away the towel around Finn’s hips so it had easy access to his awakening shaft of which Fenris’ hand made good use.

Merry laughter sounded from the pool, but Finn did not care, as Fenris gave him a few hard thrusts and pulled him down to kiss him again, he eluded him, confused to no end. Usually he would not have complained about such a display of affection and desire, but this…was strange. So he asked his elf in irritation: “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”, Fenris shook his head and followed him, followed every step Finn took away from him and purred, “I want you, Finn. Now. Here.”

He nervously glanced to the pool where Zevran and Isabela were still sitting in the shallow water, then he looked at Fenris again and shook his head to gather his senses, but it was no use, especially not anymore when his elf slung one strong arm around him to hold him firmly in place and the other hand resumed its caress of Finn’s member, there, right in front of their friends. He could not believe it.

Fenris got to the tips of his toes and firmly licked over Finn’s tightly closed lips, but as this did not earn him the reaction he had obviously hoped for, his tongue then licked over Finn’s scrubby cheek, then his neck. All the while, Finn was utterly unable to respond, but he winced when Fenris whispered into his ear in Arcanum: “It’s always been a fantasy of mine to have you in the water, all wet and panting. Come into the pool with me so I can fuck you there…”

Still, Finn had no idea what to do. When Fenris kissed his shoulder and then went deeper, kissing and licking and finally biting his nipple, the sudden bolt of pain mixed with ecstasy somehow jerked Finn free and he brought a few quick paced between them before he repeated: “What is wrong with you? You’re not yourself, Fenris!”

“But I am.”, his elf smiled and grabbed the towel around his own hips to pull it off, but Finn quickly went to him to stop him although he had no idea what to do next.

“You bastard…!”, Isabela suddenly gasped disbelieving and Finn whirled around, unsure why by the blights she should curse at him, but he had been wrong. It was Zevran she was angry at, but the elf merely smiled at her and asked: “Yes, Bella?”

“What’s in that wine, Zevran Arainai?”, she asked sternly and as Zevran’s grin broadened, she roughly grabbed a hold of blonde strands and pulled him to his feet, “What is it?”

Finn gaped at the two of them, but then groaned as he finally understood: “The Captain of the Night Sea, right?”

“You, my friend, are as beautiful as you are clever.”, Zevran purred and deliberately focused his gaze on Finn’s exposed crotch before winking at him, “But you are also stupid if you don’t make use of the opportunity I gave you by handing the spiced wine to your lover.”

Finn was speechless. Did that asshole actually think he had done him a favour?!

Fenris’ strong hands sneaked around his hips and once again enclosed Finn’s length in their warm, tight grip, a sensation Finn did enjoy, but he had very much preferred their intimacy to be exactly that, intimate and private.

“Go.”, Isabela urged him on, “The only way to get rid of the Captain’s pollen in his system is to act on it. But… don’t expect him to be himself.”

“Great…”, Finn muttered and winced as one of the elf’s hands left his member to cup his balls and gave them a hard, yet desirable squeeze in the very same moment his now naked shaft pressed against Finn’s backside, eliciting a soft moan from Fenris’ throat.

“And better do it fast.”, Zevran winked at him, “Unless you wish to be ravished here and have us for an audience.”

“You, my friend, are going to suffer for that.”, Isabela snarled at Zevran and now he seemed genuinely taken by surprise, so she hissed at him, “Fenris is mistrustful enough as it is. What do you think this little jest does to him, their relationship? You buffoon!”

With that, she pushed him away so that Zevran landed in the deeper waters of the pool with a loud splash and Fenris, to Finn’s surprise, laughed merrily at this, but never stopped his caresses.

“C’mon.”, Finn barely managed to say and as Fenris did not listen, he slapped his hands away. To no avail, as he had anticipated, so Finn took a deep breath and made a decision. Zevran wanted to play games? Fine. He would be the one to harvest the yield, though.

“Fenris…”, he said in the best purring voice he managed and, with a sudden grin, he remembered that when he had last used it, he had managed to seduce a Templar back in Kinloch Hold, “There surely are better places for this. Where it’s more comfortable and we can do…more.”

For a moment, the elf blinked at him whilst Zevran was already laughing, only to be slapped by Isabela, but Finn did not care, he watched Fenris, saw how a smile slowly crept up his lips until his elf gave him an unfamiliarly toothy grin.

“What do you have in mind?”, Fenris asked, his voice as husky as Finn had seldom heard it even in their most passionate moments.

“Whatever you like…”, he whispered an invitation he hoped Fenris would not be able to neglect. And he was right, for the elf sloppily grabbed a hold of Finn’s hair and forcefully pulled him down to his level to press a kiss to his lips that left them both panting.

“The bedrooms are to your right, my friend.”, Zevran’s voice rang through his heavy breathing and Finn murmured at Fenris, “Then let’s not waste any more time, shall we?”

“We shan’t.”, his elf replied, but in contrast to his words, he firmly kissed Finn again, thereby pressing his body flush against his, heated skin against skin and as the elf was on the tips of his toes, their crotches touched, sending a bolt of need through Finn.

“Come.”, he invited Fenris again and this time, took his hands in his, pulling him into the direction Zevran had indicated. Finn was walking backwards, not wanting to let Fenris out of his sight because he had no idea what he would do. He got his answer soon enough; Fenris jerked his hands free and shoved Finn backwards.

Finn, still astonished and concerned, collided with a wall and just one moment later, Fenris was upon him again, pinning him to the wood in his back and plundering his mouth once again. He yelped when the wall behind him suddenly gave way and only belatedly he realised that Fenris had pushed him against a door he had now opened.

The elf pulled him away so quickly Finn had lost all sense of direction, the room was just a blur of rich colours and flowers to him. The only thing that was real to him was Fenris. And the wall he was pushed against again, as it knocked the wind out of his lungs and the elf did not give him the opportunity to catch his breath again before kissing him utterly breathless.

He wanted to speak, say anything, but he did not manage even a single word, merely a breathless gasp when Fenris’ hands found his member again, pumping the sensitive flesh until Finn was almost ready to spill everything he had.

“Fen…”, he began panting and clumsily tried to push the elf’s hands away, “This will be over this instant if you don’t go slow.”

Fenris smiled at him and gently touched Finn’s cheek, but the smile was a dangerous one, the baring of a predator’s teeth.

“Come.”, Fenris told him and tightened the grip of his fingers around Finn’s shaft, “Come and then come again. I will not let you go until I am finished with you.”

All Finn could do was whimper with need and it earned him a feverish kiss he was only half able to return. He knew that they had to get the pollen of the aphrodisiacal flower out of Fenris’ system and so Finn had thought to look at this encounter as he had done with all those in the Tower, but he could not. It may have started as game for him, but it was more than that; he loved it.

When Fenris pushed one of his knees between Finn’s legs and thereby pried them open, all Finn could do was tremble before him and moan embarrassingly loudly when his elf used the easy access this gave him. Fenris was none too tenderly as he spread Finn’s buttocks and one finger stroked the entrance his elf was obviously aiming for. Finn, however, was by then a moaning, sweating mess out of control and totally at Fenris’ mercy. Just one thought raced through his mind, but he was unable to hold it: This was Fenris. Unrestrained, his insecurity and mistrust shed off like a cloak he no longer needed, he was pure lust… lust for him, Finn.

He could scarcely believe it, yet he was determined to relish every single moment of it. When Fenris’ fingers again enclosed Finn’s flesh, his hips acted on a will of their one and gave a few desperate thrusts, but this time it was Fenris who stopped this, yet only for a second. Prying Finn’s legs further apart, his elf forced him on the same height with him and then pumped their members together. Combined with the sloppy, wet kiss Fenris gave him, it was almost too much sweet friction and desire to bear, and Finn went rigid, feeling his climax come…which was the exact moment Fenris chose to stop his caresses.

 

“Oi…”, Finn panted, “What do you think you’re…”

He stopped dead amidst his words when he saw Fenris’ grin, again predator all the way and when he spoke, the elf’s voice was low and smooth as velvet, darkest velvet: “You do not know how ravishing you look in such moments…”

Finn could only blink at him, but was interrupted in one of the best fashions he knew; Fenris pushed him flat against the wall in his back and kissed him, both his hands dug into Finn’s hair, pulled at it so Finn felt at the brink of pain, but it was just right. Of their own accord, his hands snuck around Fenris’ waist and came to rest on the elf’s behind pressing their bodies flush together. Finn did not even care about how loud or needy his moans sounded, but the low growl from Fenris’ throat filled him with excitement.

Rightfully so, for the elf grabbed his neck and, with a glitter in his eyes Finn could only ascribe to boisterous lust, Fenris pulled him to the middle of the room before he pushed Finn down to his knees into the nest of softest pillows. He knelt there for a moment, too excited to do anything, but when he managed to look at Fenris, he saw the elf quickly snatch a flask of dark blue glass and then return to Finn, kneeling down behind him. This was promising…

But Finn yelped when unexpectedly, Fenris’ grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head back, exposing Finn’s throat he then covered with his other hand. Finn closed his eyes in a soft moan when he felt Fenris’ shaft rub against his buttocks and winced then he then felt the elf’s tongue lick the shell of his ear before playfully biting it.

“Maker have mercy…”, Finn muttered and heard a dark chuckle behind him, a sound that was by now familiar to him, but never before had he heard it this dark, this playful…this hot.

One hand stayed at his throat, whilst the other stroked down his back, but then snaked to his front, strong fingers touched one nipple lightly, just to pinch the other so vigorously he could not hold back a muffled outcry of pain and lust combined.

Fenris chuckled again and playfully bit his neck, yet Finn was sure he had left a mark, then all thought left him for a moment as Fenris’ hand once again closed around his member, giving it just a few strokes that were almost the end of Finn’s self-restraint. Yet the elf’s slender fingers roamed further, cupped around his balls to give them a squeeze and then stroked over the cleft of his behind that was still pressing against Fenris’ crotch.

Suddenly, the elf took his hands away and growled: “Enough.”

And before Finn knew what had happened, one hand rested on his stomach, the other between his shoulder blades and Fenris’ strong hands pushed him down, forced him onto all fours, his back exposed to his elf. Finn smiled, panting and eager for more, when he felt oil poured onto his back. With a low growl, Fenris pushed his thighs further apart and Finn trembled as he felt the oil trickle between his buttocks.

Fenris’ fingers stroked over his entrance, circled around it once and Finn’s breathing grew heavier from anticipation. Without any word of notice, Fenris pushed two fingers inside him and at first, Finn gasped from surprise and a bit of pain, after only a few thrusts of his elf’s hand, his fingers were withdrawn again. Finn was about to protest, but all breath left him in a drawn-out moan as he felt Fenris’ shaft push into him. The elf went slowly, at least at the beginning, but as Finn did not protest, one hard, quick thrust brought him all the way in.

A cry left Finn’s throat, but even though pain was part of it, the greater part was lust, raw and pure. Fenris wasted no time and pounded into him, almost knocking the wind out of Finn as he did so. His head was spinning and he had no sense of direction or time anymore, he only felt Fenris. Oh and how he felt his elf…

Fenris’ oil-covered hand found Finn’s member and pumped it in the very same, rapid rhythm, the other first held him in place, but then wandered upwards and when his fingers again pinched Finn’s nipple, hard, he balled his fists to postpone his release just a little longer. But it was no use, feeling Fenris like this, unrestrained and rough, Finn trembled as he came, spilling his seed on the cushions beneath him.

His arms were quivering from the effort of holding him on all fours, but even though Finn was spent, Fenris was not, on the contrary, he redoubled his efforts, pounding into him so fiercely he pushed Finn forwards. So he simply gave way and slumped down, his backside propped up and thereby giving their connection a different angle, one that was even better and left Finn hissing in desire and bliss. Fenris, too, was already panting, but his movements had not lessened their urgency.

One hand was still at Finn’s shaft, rubbing it now slick with oil and Finn’s own seed, but the other hand once again glided into his hair and closed around a handful of it, pulling Finn slowly upwards. Nevertheless, Fenris did not interrupt his movements, so Finn had to arch his back to comply with his tugging and as he did, Fenris bit his neck once again, the very same spot that was already bruised and then growled in Finn’s ear: “You are mine.”

Finn trembled in his grip and was sure he would just come once again, when Fenris’ hand left his member to stroke upwards over his stomach, his chest and then it once again closed around his throat and his elf demanded: “Say it.”

Finn gulped as his mouth was too dry to say anything and Fenris stopped his movement as punishment. The room was entirely silent but for their laboured breathing until Finn managed a whisper that came from the bottom of his heart: “I am yours. And I…”

He had wanted to tell him once again that he loved him, but Fenris resumed his rapid movement and Finn hissed in surprise. The elf’s strong hand left Finn’s throat and when he readily opened his mouth, Fenris shoved three of his fingers in. Finn sucked on them, licked them and was rewarded with a low moan from his elf. His own taste filled his mouth, as the heavy scent of the Captain of the Night Sea filled his nostrils and with a lazy grin, Finn realised that the oil Fenris had used was scented with the dark blue flower, but he did not care in the slightest that he now, too, licked it from his lover’s finger, and he completely forgot about the blasted flower when Fenris’ hand left his hair and stroked over his chest again, for this brought Finn to his second climax and this time, Fenris followed him with a low growl.

Completely spent and tired, Finn laid down into the cushions and Fenris followed him. Together they lay there, their heavy breathing all that could be heard in the small chamber. He had no idea how long it had taken him, but eventually Finn rolled around to face Fenris with a smile plastered on his lips and he told the elf: “That was… amazing. I might just have to thank Zevran after all.”

“Huh?”, Fenris asked and Finn winced when his elf slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy and reddened as if from a high fever.

“Fenris?”, he asked in concern and quickly knelt down beside the elf to feel his temperature. He immediately withdrew his hand and gasped: “You’re practically on fire!”

“Huh?”, was all the elf managed and Finn’s heart almost stopped. He jumped to his feet, hissed in pain as his elf had not been the perfect gentleman before, so his backside ached a bit, but nevertheless he ran outside their room, not caring for anything to wear and hoping Zevran was still in the pool. He was, although he was also in Isabela. None of Finn’s concern he decided and interrupted the two of them rudely: “How much did he drink?”

“What?”, Isabela asked, not in the slightest abashed that he saw her straddling Zevran and she just continued her doing, but he did not even look at her, he addressed the elf, “How much did he drink? He’s in a fever!”

“Oh…”, Zevran breathed and then ushered Isabela off, starting to get to his feet, but Finn snorted in anger, “You stay there. Blazes, just tell me!”

“A…few cups.”, the elf admitted and again, Isabela stared at him, fury in her voice as she said, “That sounds as if he shouldn’t have had more than one.”

“Well…”, Zevran began, “I had no idea how much he can take.”

“Pray that it was just the right amount.”, Finn snarled at him and dashed to the wardrobe, randomly snatching enough clothing to dress the two of them, but he left Fenris’ armour.

“Izzy, I’m counting on you!”, he called to the pirate as he walked past her and she nodded, listening, “Get the remainder of his things to the ship… I’ll take him there, maybe Orsino can cook up something, I’m no healer.”

“Shall I get Anders?”, she asked, but he shook his head, “No. Not yet, anyways.”

He hoped he was doing the right thing, but he was absolutely not sure.

“Hey, Fenris.”, he softly addressed his elf when he re-entered the alcove, “We have to return to the Siren’s Call. C’mon, I’ve got your clothes.”

“No…”, the elf protested meekly, “Stay here, why can’t we stay here? Finn, stay with me, love me…”

“I do. I love you.”, Finn told him in Arcanum, his heart racing in worry as he added, “But we have to get back. Come on.”

Finn quickly got dressed and then did the same for Fenris who at least did not fight him, but Finn had to dress him. He did not care whether all the laces were closed perfectly, all he wanted was to get Fenris back to the Siren’s call and quickly. It was a whole lot more difficult to get Fenris to his feet, but somehow Finn managed to straighten him up and sling one of his arms around his shoulders. The elf smiled groggily at him and kissed his shoulder, although Finn was sure he had been aiming for his cheek. Not good.

When he left the room, Isabela was already there, fully dressed and holding Fenris’ armour. Zevran was nowhere to be seen, but Finn had no interest in the assassin’s whereabouts, all he cared for was Fenris.

“Let’s get him back. I know the way.” Isabela said and helped him carry Fenris, for the elf was in no condition to walk. It scared Finn to see him this weak.

“Is this…?”, he almost did not dare to ask, but when they staggered down the narrow staircase, he had to. Alas, Isabela’s answer was not what he had hoped for: “I’m not sure, hunk. I once drank the Captain’s nectar…well, different captains, you know… but the flower, well… It’s a bit of a blur, actually. Yes, you have a lot of energy and wanna let go of it by having as much sex as you can and afterwards there’s fatigue, lethargy even. But I’ve never seen it this bad. He’s had a lot, I reckon.”

Finn grumbled to himself and then looked at Fenris, hoping his elf would show any sign of recovery. He did not.

“You are already leaving?”, the clerk behind the counter asked them and Isabela snapped at her: “Yes. And if you see that rat Zevran, tell him to fuck off. He can only board the Siren’s Call again when he has a very, very good excuse.”

With that, she left the clerk in attendance without another word.

Their walk through Antiva City by evenfall back to the Siren’s Call was a silent one, only interrupted by concerned glances at Fenris, then into each other’s eyes in the hope the other had anything good to say. So they spoke next to nothing until they had finally reached the ship again.

“Drunk already?”, one of Isabela’s men called out to them with a laugh, but she barked at him, “Get down here and help!”

He asked no more and did as he was told, helping Finn to carry the by now almost unconscious Fenris aboard and into their cabin. As soon as Fenris was laid down on their bed, Finn stormed out again and ran to Orsino’s little cabin, rapping at the door mercilessly.

“Orsino!”, he called and just as he raised his fist again, the door opened and revealed the older elf, his robes barely fastened, but Finn did not care, “I need your knowledge about herbs and poisons. Fenris is…”

“What’s happened?!”, Varania’s voice reached him from the darkness in the cabin and Finn was speechless for a moment, but then he blurted out, “Is everything about sex tonight?”

“What’s wrong?”, Varania insisted, unfazed by his astonishment and so he shook his head to gather his senses again before he could tell her, “Zevran instilled some sort of aphrodisiac into him and… I don’t know. He’s having a fever and he’s almost unconscious, whiny even. I don’t know what to do…”

He did not mention that it scared him shitless to see his elf like that. But that was surely apparent from his face.

“What aphrodisiac?”, Orsino asked and darted back into his cabin to retrieve a bag, but then he accompanied Finn who said, “The Captain of the Night Sea. Ever heard of it?”

“Yes…”, the elf sighed, “Maker, do they never learn?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Finn asked in rising panic, “What?”

“The mixtures from this plant are practically a loose cannon.”, Orsino muttered angrily, “It is fine enough in a low dose, just a bit more loosening than alcohol itself, but some people it does not agree with. They show signs of a fever.”

“What can you do?”, Varania asked, “Can I help?”

Orsino sat down on the edge of Fenris’ bed and gently touched the elf’s forehead.

“Finn?”, Fenris said, “Come to bed…”

His voice trailed off and he mumbled a few affectionate words in Arcanum before his murmuring stopped altogether.

“Fetch cold water and towels.”, Orsino ordered and Varania ran off, but Finn sat down next to Fenris, took his burning hand, wet from sweat, and whispered, “I’m here.”

“Finn…”, the elf mumbled again, but he looked at Orsino who gave him a tense smile and nodded encouragingly, “He is dizzy and confused, but he will live no doubt.”

“Good…”, Finn breathed, “That means I might just not have to kill Zevran.”

“No.”, Orsino confirmed and then took the already wet towels from Varania, “Thank you. This should help.”

Gently he placed the towels on Fenris’ forehead and the sigh of relief spoke volumes.

“There, that’s better.”, the elf mumbled and then addressed Finn, “Take good care of him tonight. He might be…clingy and a bit needy too, but… I guess you can manage that.”

“Should I keep him still?”, Finn asked helplessly and to his astonishment, he saw Orsino smile bashfully as he said, “Do what is best for him. May that be letting him sleep, whispering sweet nothings to him…or something else entirely.”

With this, he turned to leave even before Finn had grasped the innuendo, but when he did, he stopped the elf.

“Thank you.”, he said and Orsino inclined his head, “And…I’m happy for you two, too. Took you long enough.”

“Idiot.”, Varania muttered, but smiled and leaned against Orsino’s shoulder as they left together, softly closing the door to the cabin behind them.

“Hey…”, Finn turned his attention to Fenris, who was pale, yet his cheeks were glowing from the fever, “What can I do?”

“Hold me…”, his elf replied and Finn shuddered, not only from want, no, mostly because he had never heard Fenris so weak. And, Maker, he wished he never would again.

“You’re burning up.”, he softly said, but nevertheless slid closer and his elf immediately pressed against him, clutching at the fabric of his clothes, so Finn held him tightly, absolutely unsure of what to do.

A soft knock made him look up and as he called to the person to enter, Isabela slid open the door and tiptoed in.

“How’s he faring?”, she asked and sat down on Fenris’ other side, carefully stroking damp white hair from his forehead.

“Orsino said he’s gonna be fine.”, Finn replied and she sighed in relief, “Thank the Maker or whoever else for that.”

Finn quietly grumbled to himself and Isabela looked at him, her face a grimace of anguish as she told him: “I’m so sorry. Believe me, I didn’t know that flower was in the wine, I really didn’t.”

“I know, Izzy.”, Finn nodded and again she sighed, but he added, “You don’t need to tell me, tell him when he wakes up again.”

Isabela nodded, but then angrily balled her fists and cursed: “I’ll cut off Zev’s balls for that. I mean, look at him…!”

“Don’t.”, Finn smirked, “You can’t take that pleasure away from Fenris, he’d hold it against you.”

She sniggered to herself, which was what Finn had hoped for, but she was still unhappy and enquired: “Is there anything I can do?”

“Hot…”, Fenris mumbled groggily, “I’m too hot, get…get off.”

Finn withdrew, but then he saw Fenris tugging clumsily at his clothing and Isabela smirked unhappily: “Any other day, I’d be happy to undress you, you bastard.”

With that, she got up and looked at Finn, but she did not say another word, instead she merely left the cabin, left them to each other. Finn sighed insecurely and then gently pried Fenris’ hands off as he told him: “Come, let me help you with that.”

With as much effort as he had dressed him before in the brothel, Finn now undressed his elf again for Fenris tugged at every piece of clothing that was on his body.

“You’ll cool down too much.”, Finn warned him, “Here’s the blanket.”

But Fenris pushed it away awkwardly and mumbled something Finn did not catch.

“Don’t be so bloody stubborn now…”, he pleaded, almost laughing from the ridiculousness of their situation, but his elf got a hold of his hands and pulled him towards him, not voicing his request, simply whimpering in pain or need, Finn could not decipher it. What he did understand perfectly well, though, when he followed Fenris, was the slow and gentle kiss that was pressed to his lips.

“Love me…”, Fenris mumbled against Finn’s mouth, barely audible, and Finn wanted to, could hardly contain himself, but he shook his head, “Not now. You’re…not yourself.”

“I am…”, his elf protested and Finn chuckled, “Yeah, I’ve heard that before. That was quite a different you then, mind you.”

 

“Still me…”, Fenris explained, his voice slurred and Finn stared at him. Could it really be possible that Fenris, intoxicated as he was, saw more clearly than he did?

“It…is still you…yeah.”, he murmured, his lips almost touching the elf’s as he did so and with a smile, he shook his head and then kissed Fenris softly, “You’re right. And once again, I’m the idiot.”

This made Fenris chuckle, giggle almost and he touched Finn’s cheek, his hand then drifting down over his throat, thereby touching the spot he had bruised with his kisses before.

“Forgive me…”, he mumbled faintly and Finn told him, “Forgiven and almost forgotten. As soon as it stops hurting.”

Fenris’ hand travelled further down and tugged at Finn’s shirt as he demanded with a plea, “Take it off.”

“Haven’t had enough yet?”, Finn muttered with a smile and complied with his request, enjoying the now so much softer caresses of Fenris’ hands that stroked over his chest, up to his cheeks and again down his back. The elf mumbled something Finn did not understand, he did not even catch whether it was Arcanum or not, but he did understand his intention as Fenris pulled him on top of him so that Finn was nestled between his opened legs, clearly feeling the elf’s arousal.

“No.”, he determinedly stated, “No, Fenris, not now.”

Doing this now… he could not bring himself to it.

“I want you…”, Fenris whimpered and Finn closed his eyes, grasping for every last bit of self-control he had, then he resolutely hove himself up to lie down next to Fenris, telling him, “I will not take advantage of this. I won’t leave you either, but no.”

All the elf replied to this was a whine of disappointment and need, then he pressed close to Finn, clutching at him best he could in his clumsy state, but Finn bore up: “No.”

Fenris’ grimaced and Finn was shocked as it seemed to him that his refusal caused the elf physical pain.

“Look…”, he began and shook his head. It was absurd. So instead of arguing, he gently kissed the elf and murmured against his lips, “We will do this my way.”

Fenris smiled in relief and Finn could not help it, he pressed his lips to the elf’s in a firm kiss, before he recollected that he had wanted to go slow. So he reined his desire in and slowly, deliberately kissed the elf, gently nudging the other’s lips with his tongue and he felt Fenris smile gladly into their kiss. The elf laid back and allowed Finn free roam over his body. One look in those greenest eyes before Fenris closed them told Finn that he was fine with whatever he would do and the mere thought made Finn moan in lust for he was not used to such devotion, not from Fenris.

It was tempting to simply take whatever he desired, but this was not about him, so Finn forced himself to lie still next to his elf. His own pleasure would have to wait, but he would not stall the elf’s any longer.

Still kissing his lips, Finn touched Fenris’ cheek and then made use of the opportunity to roam over the elf’s body; he stroked over the muscled chest and stomach, his fingers fluttering gently over the hot skin. When his hand found Fenris’ erect shaft and closed around it, the elf’s lustful moan broke their kiss. When he continued his caresses, it was Fenris who dug his shaking hands into Finn’s hair and clumsily pulled him in for another kiss Finn gladly gave him.

Fenris’ breath hitched and he winced then and again, his muscles rippling in pleasure, before he went rigid with an almost silent moan as Finn rolled his thumb over the tip of Fenris’ length and thereby gave him another climax.

Panting, but smiling, the elf looked at him and as Finn saw the love and affection in those green eyes, he fell for the elf all over again.

With a heavy heart, he got up, but Fenris’ hand slapped against his wrist, his movement too clumsy to be able to grab a hold of him.

“Where are you going?”, Fenris asked, his voice in a higher pitch than usual, fear in it, so Finn leaned in to him, pecked him on the lips and reassured him, “I’m just getting a wet cloth to clean up that mess we made. And I’m gonna give you a cold towel.”

The elf nodded, so Finn did as he had announced and gently washed Fenris’ torso, the elf sighing contently as he did so. Finn told himself that it was his touch that caused him such complacency, but he knew that it could also have been the chill of the drying dampness on his skin, cooling it against the fever. He really was no healer, but Finn tried his best as he dipped away the sweat from Fenris’ forehead and before he had come back to bed, the elf was already fast asleep.

Finn happily smiled to himself for his elf was not as pale anymore and neither as burning with his fever. On the other hand, Finn now had a boner that no one would take care of but himself, yet he was happy and as soon as he had laid down next to his elf, one arm around the elf’s bare torso, enclosing them both in the same blanket, he too was asleep.

However, his dreamless sleep ended abruptly. For a moment, Finn had no idea what had happened, then he realised that Fenris had given a violent start in his sleep…and that he was now awake.

“How are you?”, he immediately asked as he saw an unspoken question in Fenris’ green eyes, yet no longer the gloss of fever. With a deep growl, Fenris rolled out of bed and grabbed his clothes, snarling: “I will find Zevran and rip his heart out!”

“No.”, Finn shook his head and quickly got up, but by the time he reached his elf, Fenris was already wearing trousers and feeling around for his blade, muttering: “Where is my sword? Venhedis…”

“Fenris…!”, Finn called out to him and, as the elf did not respond, he blocked his way out of the door.

“Get out of my way.”, Fenris demanded, but Finn teased, “Look at you, you’re perfectly fine again, all brooding and angry again.”

“Finn!”, the elf hissed furiously, but he gently touched Fenris’ shoulders and sincerely said, “I am so glad you’re alright. Yesterday I thought…I…”

“I know.”, Fenris answered and his rage drained from him as he tenderly touched Finn’s bearded cheek and told him, “I remember everything, from drinking the spiced wine to…its effects, how you brought me to the ship and took care of me.”

Finn opened his mouth to tell him that he had gladly done so, but Fenris bashfully looked to the floor and asked: “Forgive me.”

“What?”, Finn asked in confusion and Fenris sighed sadly, then licked his lips nervously before he dared looking into Finn’s eyes again and tell him, “I was too rough with you, I hurt you. I could not control myself and I hurt you.”

“Just a wee bit.”, Finn softened that statement, but Fenris grimaced unhappily, so Finn added, “Actually… I loved that.”

Now the elf stared at him wide-eyed and Finn chuckled nervously, but then revealed: “It was raw, I’ll give you that, but… it was you, raw, pure, nothing but you. Yeah, you had no control, but that also meant you held nothing back. And I liked that more than I care to admit.”

Fenris blinked at him, disbelieving, so Finn nodded to fortify his words and suddenly, the elf looked down onto the floor again before he whispered: “You took care of me. Even against my own wishes, you followed what you deemed best for me and looked after me. No one has ever done that for me. At least never to such extent. And… I am forever grateful for that.”

“I couldn’t exploit that last night…”, Finn mumbled and Fenris slowly raised his head, nodded and answered, “Which is exactly the reason why you are the best man I have ever known. The only man I could ever… No. You are the only man I will ever love.”

Now it was Finn who blinked and before he could regain his composure as he was in fact almost fighting tears, Fenris grabbed his hand and demanded: “Come, we have to find Isabela.”

“Why…?”, was all he could ask before his elf practically dragged him out of their cabin and up to the captain’s quarters. “Fenris, she has your armour, yeah, but it’s the dead of night!”, Finn hissed at him, but the elf chuckled darkly, “As if I cared. Right now, I only care about you. I will deal with Zevran and Orsino in the morning. But this cannot wait!”

Before Finn could say anything more, Fenris was already knocking at the door to the captain’s quarters and within an instant, they heard Isabela curse in there.

“Maker’s balls, what’s…? Fenris!”, she muttered when she opened the door and then stared at him, “Believe me, I didn’t know of the pollen in the wine. And I kicked Zev’s sorry ass big time for it.”

“I know.”, the elf said and Finn heard the hint of a smile in his voice, but Isabela was too sleepy and too startled, as it looked, for she even forgot to close her dark dressing gown and thereby revealed her entirely naked form to them as she mumbled, “Ah…well, alrighty then. What are you here for, it’s the deep of the night, you know? Unless… is the pollen still working and that gorgeous hunk behind you isn’t enough to satiate your desires anymore?“

“Oi!”, Finn complained, but she giggled at him, yet Fenris was dead serious when he said, “I have recovered. Wed us.”

“What?!”, Finn blurted out and gaped at his elf open-mouthed, “You mean…? Really?”

Over Fenris’ shoulder, he got a warm-hearted smile, warmer than the elf had ever shown in the company of others and then he whispered at him: “I have known this for weeks now, but I did not act on this knowledge. This night removed any lingering doubts, if there were any. I want this, I want you, for the rest of our lives. What say you?”

Finn tried, in vain, to answer his question, but he found no words. So instead of wasting his time with fruitless attempts, he smiled, touched the elf’s cheeks and kissed him with all the love he could not express otherwise.

“Oi, the kissing comes last, you know.”, Isabela teased them and as Finn laughed, she enquired, “So, how do you wanna do this? Here in the cabin or on deck with the moon and the stars as your witnesses to marriage?”

Fenris looked at him and Finn nodded with a disbelieving, yet overjoyed smile: “Sounds perfect to me.”

“Anyone else we should rouse?”, Isabela asked, but they simultaneously shook their heads which made her laugh, “Well then, you know what you want. Follow me.”

Isabela tied her gown around her body, but Finn had no eyes for her, he could not even look at Fenris, for his vision was blurred and his thoughts all a fuzz. Again, the only real thing for him was Fenris’ touch as the elf took his hand in his, entwined them tightly and guided Finn through the half-light of the ship until they reached the deck.

Stars were twinkling over their heads and, as Finn realised with a crooked grin, the moon was almost full and at her zenith, flooding the deck with pale, silvery light and making spray and whitecaps of the sea glitter.

“That’s…”, he began, but Isabela interrupted him with a teasing smile, “Almost too romantic to bear, huh? Yeah, my thoughts exactly, but honestly? You two deserve nothing less.”

For a moment, he was not sure whether or not she had meant that as a compliment or a tease, but then they had reached the nose of her ship and she turned around to them, a warm smile on her lips so free of mock as he had never seen it before.

“Captain?”, one of her sailors called out, but she yelled back, “Get lost! Back at your posts, this is none of your business!”

There was the old Izzy again. It was a relief to Finn, but then she looked at the two of them again and there was this smile again, almost… yearning, a wish in her eyes as she softly spoke: “You roused me in the damn middle of the night and so we gathered here at this unruly time that yet is just perfect to unite the two of you in a bond that no one but the Maker can undo. It sounds cheesy, but in your case, hunks, it’s nothing but the truth.”

Finn smiled and, damn, not only did he feel a blush creeping up his cheeks, but his vision blurred from tears. He was such a cry-baby sometimes. To his luck, Fenris said nothing about it, but still looking into his eyes, took both of his hands in his and smiled a genuine, warm smile Finn loved so much.

“So, with the moon and all the stars above us and the sea around us as your witnesses, I will hear your vows.”, Isabela said and then gestured for them to start. Both of them were helpless at first, but then she chuckled: “C’mon. Just say what you love about each other or something like that. And don’t do it in that strange tongue you both speak, I need to understand them.”

Fenris arched an eyebrow at her for this and she smirked: “Alright, you caught me. But really, someone has to write your story down!”

At this, Finn burst out laughing, but then he licked his lips, ready to speak. As he looked into Fenris’ eyes, a shiver crept down his naked shoulders and back and his voice quivered as he vowed: “I have told you more than once that I will never give up on you, no matter what. Let me renew this promise. Whatever may happen, whatever our fate may be, I will stand by you, defend you, care for you best I can. I proved that more than once and I am ready to do it for the rest of our lives. Because I love you.”

He saw Fenris gulp, nervously lick his lips and shake his head, bite his lower lip even and for a moment, Finn almost feared he would back down from his own wish, but then Fenris squared his shoulders and looked at him, his voice a whisper among the rolling of the waves, but Finn caught every word he spoke in Arcanum: “I mistrusted you for so long, when my heart had told me from the very first moment that you were… different. A mage, a man, at first glance everything I had learnt to hate. But in truth you are everything, the only man I love. Your persistence was…unnerving, but I am grateful for your stubbornness, your endurance and… love. You helped me, healed me from wounds I did not know I was suffering from. I am yours.”

Now, Finn could not fight it anymore, a single tear left his eye and Fenris gently wiped it away.

“Unfair.”, Isabela stated, but then sighed with a smirk, “But alright, I’ll let you get away with it. You have spoken your vows and your witnesses, the moon and stars and the sea, have heard them as I have heard them. I hereby in virtue of my position as the captain unite you two as husbands. May a kiss set the seal on this bond and may only the Maker break it. And he should think twice before doing so.”

Finn felt paralysed by the words, more beautiful than he had ever deemed Isabela capable of, but fortunately, Fenris had no such problem. The elf gently touched his bearded cheeks and pulled Finn in for a tender kiss. As the elf tried parting from him, Finn finally managed to move again and he grabbed his elf to pull him against his chest to kiss him as he had wanted to be kissed, their tongues playing and skin on skin.

When they did break apart for air, Isabela hooted happily and told them: “Please, go on, I could watch all night.”

“But you would like it even better if we asked you to participate, I reckon?”, Fenris teased her and she nodded, “Fine with me.”

“Forget it.”, Finn possessively stated and after a moment of silence, all three of them laughed. Then Isabela put one hand on Finn’s cheek, the other on Fenris’ and solemnly told them: “This… was wonderful. I never wed a couple before and now, I think I never will again, because no one can make that more beautiful than you did. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.”, Fenris told her and bowed his head in gratitude, but Finn pulled her into a bear-hug.

“You’re choking me, hunk.”, she complained, but he shot back, “Nonsense. As long as you can talk, you’re fine. Thanks, Izzy.”

At this she chuckled, but as soon as Finn let go of her, she shooed them off: “Get lost, you two. You have some serious celebrating to do.”

“Indeed.”, Fenris spoke, his voice dark and smooth and Finn felt a shudder race down his spine. He had a pretty good idea what kind of celebration Isabela and also his elf had in mind. And he was perfectly fine with that.

Laughing, he grabbed the elf’s hand and ran off under deck, happiness in his heart and Isabela’s enthusiastic hooting behind them.


End file.
